Inner pandemic

Hey fellas, Been a while since I wrote here or even logged in. Im sure it wouldnt come as a shock, as its a universal experience by now- but Im mentally dealing with a lot. I havent found the perfect elixir for getting out of depression and anxiety during this pandemic, but DBT therapy and tons of self work and awareness make me feel more balanced (Prozac doesnt hurt too). Its challenging looking at this time as an opportunity to grow and reshape myself when I feel so distant from everyone, so out of balance, so dependent on individuals to provide me everything I usually get from all life experiences, which, as you can guess, creates an unbalanced and an unhealthy relationship. Every day is an inner battle, mindfulness is the strongest tool I learned recently to make sure Im where I WANT to be and not where I am out of circumstances. My feel good-feel safe go to is romantic relationships, and maybe I should go easy on myself and just start one to feel better, but its like having a baby to save a marriage- Im not suppose to start a relationship just because I want to feel better. The longer journey is to find the component that makes me feel good and safe in relationships and develop it myself, sorta like a vaccine. Im not sure if taking the longer, harder journey is always wise or just a thing of my generation that feels the need to suffer in order to get somewhere - TBD. Feel free to reach out, Im not always here but I read messages, eventually.