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It has little to do with the body

Published Feb 10, 2012

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It has little to do with the body and everything to do with the mind moncler cheap . A sex therapist shares whathe's learned Looking for the hot new position that will transform your sex life? The bedroom technique that will bringultimate satisfaction? Look no further. Not that sex therapist Marty Klein is actually selling any of those things — but his new book moncler coats cheap , “SexualIntelligence: What We Really Want From Sex and How to Get It,” offers something better: an alternative tochasing that erotic mirage. His message is antithetical to the sex advice found everywhere from self-helpbooks to the supermarket checkout line: The secret to a fulfilling sex life is mental, not physical. It isn’t the sexiest directive moncler jackets cheap , but it might actually get you somewhere. Klein has drawn on more than 30 yearsof counseling experience for this smart handbook on how to develop what he calls “Sexual Intelligence,”which he describes as the thing that “gets you from hormone-driven sex to sex you choose,” “from ‘sex hasto validate me’ to ‘I validate my sexuality.’” The challenge here is to let go of notions of what “successful”and “normal” sex looks and feels like. The reward is a sex life where “failure” is virtually impossible moncler jackets sale . Salon spoke to Klein by phone from his office in Palo Alto, Calif., about why so many sexual problems canbe blamed on idealizing sex and our bodies as they were in our youth. What is it, based on your experience with clients, that people most want from sex moncler jackets on sale ? Well, if you ask people what they want from sex, they say some vague thing — some combination of“pleasure” and “closeness.” But while a lot of people say that, I find from my practice that what a lot ofpeople really want is emotional satisfaction moncler sale ; sometimes it has to do with the connection with their partnerand sometimes it has to do with their own sense of themselves. What a lot of people want from sex is to feelyouthful, graceful, manly, normal, adequate or competent. What should we expect from sex? What expectations are more realistic and more likely to bringactual satisfaction? Well, partly that depends on what people are willing to put into it. You could say moncler jackets , “What’s realistic to expectfrom a meal?” and if you have very little in the refrigerator and you only spend five minutes cooking and youdon’t have a decent pot or pan and you’re talking on the phone while you’re doing it and not payingattention, it’s unrealistic to expect a gourmet or satisfying meal. On the other hand, if you put enough timeand effort and care into it, it’s not unrealistic to expect a good dining experience moncler jackets women .