Ive written a blog about nothing

Welcome, fellow naturists , to the blog post you never knew you didnt need. Todays topic? Nothing. Not nothing as in nothing important or nothing too serious no. We mean the actual, unseasoned tofu of content. A subject so gloriously vacant it makes a goldfishs diary look like Dostoyevsky. What Even Is Nothing? Philosophers have asked this for centuries. Physicists try to measure it, only to discover its somehow full of quantum foam. Meanwhile, you ask a friend whats wrong and they mutter, Nothing, which is clearly a lie that could fill seven therapy sessions and a spin-off novel. Nothing is the space between thoughts. The pause in a conversation when someone says, Well anyway. Its the bit of your brain that screams when the WiFi cuts out. How to Do Nothing, Expertly 1.Sit on a couch. 2.Open a book. 3.Immediately stare into the middle distance. 4.Think of every mistake since 1994. 5.Forget what you were doing. 6.Repeat until retired. If someone walks in and asks what youre up to, simply reply with a solemn, Just being. Theyll either leave you alone or call a mindfulness coach. The Productivity of Nothing In todays world, doing nothing is radical. Its an act of defiance against your to-do list and Jeff Bezos. You could be achieving. You could be grinding. But instead, youve chosen to lie on the floor in your dressing gown, asking Siri to define existential. Respect. What Youve Learned Nothing is surprisingly full. Nothing is harder to achieve than youd think. Nothing is the reason youre still reading this sentence. Nothing is the reason this blog has no ending, just like Yep. Thats it. Nothing. JennS44 x