September is Sexual Health Month!

(reposted from my blog at www.goodloveproject.com ) Hey Good Lovers!! Did you know that September is Sexual Health Month?! Its a sad fact that so often when we think of sexual health it brings up fear and anxiety for many people. As a society we immediately think of disease and potential harm. We want to feel safe, and yet to truly be safe we have to talk about what makes us uncomfortable. Right now the World Health Organization’s working definition for sexual health is: “Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social wellbeing in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful ap-proach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.” As you can see, sexual health is a complex issues! Today I’m going to talk about one of the most obvious facets, one that makes many people cringe: STI testing . Most of us remember the horror films in high school health class about STI (sexual transmitted infections), they were a gruesome Ripley’s Believe it or Not of severe, highly advance infections meant to frighten and shame us into abstinence until we were properly married (or at least over 18 and in college where we’d be someone else’s problem). Along the way over the past decades a stigma was created. The fear of being judged as “dirty” is almost more frightening than having the infection itself! Much anxiety and judgment has also built around screening and safer sex practices as well (as one comedian puts it, “Condoms are for sluts”). This programming left over from high school is not serving anyone. Nobody gets judged for going to the dentist for a regular check up (“Oh no, you had X-rays, you must have cavities! Do you not brush your teeth? Her mouth must be filthy”). If you’re sexually active, getting screened for STI’s is no different. Its the responsible and respectful thing to do, for yourself and your partner(s). Here’s an idea! Start normalizing your sexual health conversations. Let’s shake of the the stigma that assumes that if you are getting tested its because you’re worried you might have an STI or are “dirty”. In fact, let’s step away from terms like “clean” vs “dirty” and other dichotomies with such judging connotations. Example, I got tested about two weeks ago. I wasn’t worried or have any immediate cause to worry. I keep myself on a particular testing schedule and I stick to so I can confidently communicate with my partner(s). I also keep in the habit of telling my partners my results when I get them, even if our risks were minimal. I’m normalizing the conversation so that its not about relieving anxiety, its about being transparent and showing my lovers that I respect them (and myself). And respect is one of the top qualities of being a Good Lover!