Summer FOMO (and swimming in a blue pool in a glacier)

The last few years have been a trip. I was raised in an environment where basically all socializing was discouraged. It was expected that I come straight home from school every day, and I had basically no concept of friendship outside of school hours. I therefore did not have the typical high school experience, and I didn't really adjust fast enough for college. Instead, I threw myself into schoolwork. But the hidden benefit of this was that I got to a place in my life where things felt stable and happy quite quickly. The pandemic really threw a wrench in all of that. Suddenly, my social circle was shrunk to a few people. I had never before realized how important human connection had become to me. I also had an unrelated medical issue around the same time that sapped my energy for months. When you lose energy, it takes a long time to come back. When mental and emotional energy are at their nadir, you necessarily take shortcuts anywhere you can. You ignore anything that it is at all possible to ignore. And these habits are so hard to break. For years, I lived life almost in a daze. It didn't feel like I was experiencing the world. I was just watching it happen. So when I finally felt back at the start of the summer, I wanted to do all the things. I wanted to experience as much of the summer as possible. And, as the relatively short Alaskan summer flew by, I started to feel more and more anxious about not squeezing all my desires in. As I sit here now in September, and having tested positive for COVID, I am still in this mindset. Thinking of all the hikes I want to do before the snow comes. Of all the places I want to go swimming before the temperature gets to the point that even my super heater of a body refuses to go in. I've started a YouTube channel ([url][link]https://youtube.com/@tiresiaelibellus[/link]youtube.com/@tiresiaelibellus[/url]) with the hopes that this will push me to hike more, and now this blog. But it is also important that I remember that I actually did do a lot this summer. I went to two Alaskan music festivals, the State fair, and a renfair, and I went to two national parks, one in Alaska, and one visiting friends in the lower 48. I've already posted video of me jumping into a blue pool in a glacier at one of these national parks--in the Root Glacier in Wrangell-St. Elias National Park. Blue pools are pools that naturally form within glaciers. They sit at 32 degrees Fahrenheit, and they are blue because of reflection of the water molecules. Jumping into the pool was actually when I decided that I needed to start being more online as a way of encouraging myself to do more. I actually jumped in twice. The first time, my friend took only pictures. So I went in a second time with video. [url][link]/link/88de92e9d5106057/aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dWJlLmNvbS9zaG9ydHMvX3NvdHJYbkFkN0U%3D[/link]Video of me jumping in the second time[/url]