The Locker Room Nudity Experience: From a Black Autistic Guy's POV

As a nudist, youd think that getting undressed completely naked in a locker room would be second nature, especially for a frequent gym-goer as myself, but in my case, its more of a rehearsed behavior that Ive become gradually more comfortable with over the years than instinct. Even though I practice nudism as a lifestyle, stripping naked for a locker room shower is definitely more of a choice than a reflex. For starters, as a black man not physically living in the black community, I know that I stand out in predominantly white communities. Generally speaking, Im going to attract a lot of eyes anywhere I go, for good and for bad, just because Im different. Im not nave enough to believe that this changes once Im in a locker room. Next, Im physically muscular, so theres likely a logical curiosity (especially among other gym goers) to see what that body looks like underneath the clothes. I do it too when I see athletic males undressing as a runner/weightlifter, Im certainly interested in seeing how other athletes are built from head-to-toe, as kind of a comparison and maybe subtle admiration do they have those broad shoulders that scream a football players background? Maybe those trashcans for biceps Ive always coveted, or a back that could shred a newspaper? Legs and buttocks that scream leg day champion? And of course, Im going to look between the legs and note whats going on if they are facing me. If Im doing all of this when encountering a nude, athletic male, I cant imagine that others arent doing the same to me. Then comes the obvious elephant (or lack thereof, in my case) in the room, the reality of the black male stereotype that black men are generally relatively endowed (which in my experience of having encountered hundreds of nude black men in various circumstances, seems to be very valid) a quick glance between my legs quickly reveals that I am clearly very modest as far as that goes (my actual size is in my profile). To make it even worse, my endowment looks violently disproportionate against my overall large, 220 lb frame. (Someone on TN once pointed out, while watching me walk around my room on camera, It doesnt swing when you walk, it just jiggles!) (Add to that awkwardness, when I go nude in Germany, that almost no men, besides Jewish men, are circumcised.) I got into nudism and weightlifting in my mid-twenties, relatively around the same time but for two different reasons. As a scrawny (and then yet-to-be-revealed autistic) nerd, with a personality that is a mixture of Steve Urkel and Carlton Banks, I was a constant target for bullies. As a martial artist, I was always able to defend myself against physical escalations, but I got tired of having to constantly do so (as well as of the constant verbal harassment that never escalated into physical confrontations), so I got into weightlifting to visibly deter that type of behavior before it started. It worked. I got into nudism, however, as a bit of an accident living in Germany, but immediately discovered its effects on my self-image and confidence, and adopted it as a lifestyle roughly 15 years ago. The benefits of nudism are somewhat blunted in a gym locker room, however. I believe that nudity is the great natural equalizer, however since most men dont shower at the gym or undress nude in the view of others, the benefits of nudism in a gym locker room are a bit muted for me. And then, as far as being on the autism spectrum goes, theres so many self-protective instincts that are always active anywhere (dont EVER touch me!!!) that the idea of voluntarily undressing nude around others should be crippling. So why do it? First of all, for me, avoiding hiding my bare body is an act of liberation, in fact its outright defiance. Being a nudist doesnt remove a persons physical insecurities, but it is a means to overcome them by embracing them. It also means that I dont hide behind my physical insecurities, even in a non-nudist environment like a gym locker room. In other words, I dont let my naked insecurities hold me hostage, even though society would say that I should be shy about others seeing my fully naked body. Secondly, Im very proud of my athletic body. I spend over six hours a week sculpting it through weightlifting and intense cardio, so I celebrate my progress by publicly revealing it (in the appropriate settings) without filters or coverings. A 300+ lb bench press, and a 400+ lb squat, arent accidents or coincidences, so Im proud to reveal their effects on my overall body. Thirdly, I believe in being the example of balanced perspective when it comes to the nude human body. I appreciate, for example, discussing muscular buttocks either with men who have seen me nude and are curious about muscular glutes from an athletic perspective, or myself seeing another mans beefcake buns and talking about his success strategy. Also, Im not nave enough to ignore that many men probably see what I have between my legs and gain a sense of self-confidence in witnessing their superior regional genetics, and I think its actually healthy for both sides to acknowledge the natural genetic differences in male construction, even if my position in such acknowledgement isnt particularly advantageous. At the end of the day, I cherish my post-workout naked locker room experience nearly as much as I do the workout I went there for in the first place. And despite what society says, I cherish my nude cool-down experiences, even when it should make me uncomfortable.