The Struggles of a One Sided Nudist Couple

If you read my previous blog, you know my story. Go back and read it before you read this so it makes sense. As I write this I’m still struggling with the title of this post. In fact, it’s changed twice already before I even got this far. In some ways it runs tangent to this post, everything about being a nudist is a struggle. Since my last blog post, I've happily spent more time nude than clothed. Unfortunately that means most of that time I was alone and locked in the bedroom as I’m not alone in my home. My wife has seen me nude more often and has joined me behind the closed door, but not as often as I’d hoped. We've had talks about going to nudists communities. Nothing serious but legitimate conversations. One subject has always come up. “I need to be in shape before we do that though.” That’s not coming from me. So while she claims to prefer to be naked rather than dressed she feels her extra pounds around her waist and thighs are a flaw she has to fix before she is willing to finally join me. I know I know, getting over that “feeling” is what most of us did when we became nudists in the first place. But for me, like most, we wanted to be nudists. For me It’s been a goal of mine since I first learned it existed. My wife? She just likes being naked. So how do I get her to want to be like me? Or want to be a nudist? I know this next part will probably make some of you think I’m wrong but it is the truth. Human beings are sexual beings. There I said it, A self-proclaimed nudist talking about sex. Oh my! Come on, sex sells. The ad men (and women) on Madison Avenue figured that out years ago. Sex sells everything. Even hamburgers. Naturists/Nudists have been trying to sell the lifestyle for decades, but one of the main goals we’ve had is promoting being nude and convincing the world, just because we’re nude it’s not about sex. We don’t all strip off our clothes and start having sex. So how do you sell nudism and not use one of the tools, sex, that just about everyone uses to sell their product or service? In fact that tool, sex, is what you’re trying to convince the world isn’t a part of your lifestyle? One of the most common things I see and hear are nudists claiming nudism has nothing at all to do with sex. And while it’s true nudists can spend days, weeks and even months together nude and there is no sex involved, to say just because we’re nudists it’s has nothing to do with sex is just plain misleading. Our existence came from sex. No matter how it actually occurs, to become a human being, sex occurred. Sex has to occur to keep the human race in existence. Yeah I know this isn’t the kind of sex folks are thinking about but it does prove my point. Nudists do have and do think about sex. Not all of the time, but just about the same amount as do the textiles. And if you want to look it up, that’s a lot. But I agree with most nudists when they say, Nudism isn’t ABOUT sex. It’s about being nude and enjoying nature, enjoying being naked around others, it’s about accepting who we are and not what we have or don’t have. It’s about just being us. Nothing to hide. Here I am. Now all people are different, some are more sexual than others. There are folks who are sexually attracted to the opposite sex, some to the same sex, and some to both, or all. Some folks don’t even like sex. Some like it a lot. Some think about it more than others, some rarely think about it. You’ll find those people all over the world . Mixed in our world, of all of those people, some will be textiles some will be nudists. So yeah there are nudists that think about and enjoy sex. Some you might even call perverts. My point is, you can be a nudist and think a lot about sex. So whenever I read or hear you can’t be a nudist and think about sex, I’m sorry I just don’t buy it. So like the nudist community, how do I “sell” nudism to my spouse who brings up sex and nudism whenever we have the “talk”? Especially since she’s known me for over 20 years and knows how I am when it comes to sex? The details of our sex life aren’t Important, but does have a point here. She knows me. She knows I enjoy sex. She knows of course most sex occurs when people are naked. If I’m caught staring at her naked body just out of the shower, she might say “is that all you ever think about is sex?” How do I, a sexual being who is very much attracted to her naked body tell her I want to spend the day at a nudist resort and it not be about sex? How do I convince her, someone who has body issues, that she will be accepted for who she is as a person and not what her body looks like? I’m sure most of you have done this. Go to Google and search nudists or nudism. If you click the image tab, my “off of the top of my head guess” is that 95% of what turns up is porn. Now here is the difference as I see it. Sex isn’t a bad word. Sex isn’t bad at all. Sex is normal. Sex is natural. Porn on the other hand isn’t just sex. Porn can be bad. Porn can be good. But, porn is not nudism. What we need to do is sell the difference between porn and sex. When you do that search and see an attractive young human, standing naked on the beach, you have to wonder, is this nudism or is it porn? Now of course you can’t have porn without sex but you can have sex without porn and most importantly you can have nudism without porn. So it’s hard to use the Internet to sell nudism. Even the true legitimate nudists sites don’t sell it very well. If models are used, they use the young in shape model type bodies. How often on the Net do you see galleries of out of shape, over or underweight on nude beaches? How often to do you see those type bodies out in public? So how do I go on the Net and find pictures of “normal” people that look like my wife nude enjoying the lifestyle like it really is, when it’s very hard to find? I wish I could just take her there and show her what’s it’s really like. I wish I could open that door and she could see for herself, that she looks just like everyone there. She would think,” Wow they are a lot like me. What was I so worried about?” But I have that other problem, the sex part. Once again this is where the Internet is failing the nudists. Not only is most of what you find there is porn related when it comes to nudism, it’s still branded as sexual and still not showing the difference between porn and sex. We have to figure that out for ourselves. But to those who don’t understand or know the difference how do they figure it out? If I were to ask her to look it up, what will she come away with? How do I explain the difference and still say it has nothing to do with sex when it does. Everything does. If she asks will people be looking at her and wondering or wanting her for sex. The answer is sure. Just like when she is out any normal day. Or any time she’s on a textile beach. Or shopping in short shorts. The only difference is she is already nude. Are people going to look? Yes, just like you are. Is everyone going to look like supermodels? Oh no, in fact everyone will look like what you see when you go shopping, You will see those same people, tall, short, fat, skinny, black, white… the difference is they’re not all dressed differently, they’re all dressed the same and hiding nothing. I realize I won’t be able to convince her this is the way it is. She’ll realize this when (and if) it happens. But will I ever get to the point when she will actually try it? Oh the struggles….