Too Much Time On My Hands

It's proving to be almost impossible to lay in bed all day and not let my mind wander to places it probably shouldn't. Sometimes the thought of what I am facing is overwhelming, but then I feel one of the babies move inside me and I can't help but marvel at the miracle of life, and I am filled with such a wonderful feeling. I know the odds are against me on carrying them to term, and that in itself is terrifying. I love them already and I will be so devastated if it doesn't go well. I won't let myself go too far down that road however, because it only causes me worry that I don't need right now. All I can do is have faith and trust that it will be ok. If not, I am prepared to live with whatever God's will may be. I know I have done all I possibly could to get to this point and will continue to do my best. The thought of these two sweet babies keep me going. I can't wait to see their precious faces and tiny little hands and feet. I hope they look just like their father and are as smart as he is too. I hope they are little fighters just like me. Most of all, I hope they are healthy because that's what matters the most. It's so hard to lay here day after day with all this time on my hands, but it will all be worth it as soon as I hold my babies for the first time. Austin Mark and Makenzie Grace, you are both so loved already.