True Love -- A Way of Life

True Love (a post from 2000) One concept that I've always had a great problem with is "falling in love", as though it's a pit or a trap. "Love at first sight" is piffle. If there's anything at first sight, it's lust, a purely physical reaction to appearance and demeanor. I submit that one does not fall in love. One grows in love. Love isn't something that can be turned on like a light. It starts as a seed, and like any seed it must be planted, watered, nurtured and tended to constantly as it develops into maturity. How often does it happen that some young, hormone-driven dude or dudette says, "Oh WOW! You like the Stones AND ER? We were made for each other. Let's get married!" They tie the knot and six months later it's divorce court time. Whatever happened to the honorable art of courting, getting to really know a person's good AND bad points before making a life-changing decision? Whatever happened to walking, talking, holding hands, enjoying the world and the presence of the other person? Whatever happened to the concept of letting a relationship develop at its own pace, and patiently waiting for the realization that this one is indeed the one with whom to spend a lifetime? There is so much divorce because there is so little patience. We've become a McDonald's-oriented society where everything has to be decided right now. This might be good for lunch, but NOT for choosing the man or woman with whom to share the future. Real love takes time and effort and commitment and compromise and patience. It takes a willingness to forgive. It takes an understanding that there will never be perfection, because we are all fallibly human. Real love knows that life together will not always be roses and lollipops and happiness, and that troubles will happen. But, real love provides the resolve to pass through those trials and hardships together, standing by each other, supporting each other. There will be conflicts, misunderstandings, arguments. These are inevitable because we are merely people. But, as Paul wrote to the Ephesians, don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Don't wait for an apology. Offer one. Life is far too short to waste it in anger toward that one to whom you've pledged your life. Real love requires thinking more of your spouse than of yourself. It means wanting him or her to be happy, satisfied and fulfilled. It means desiring the best for him or her even if it means sacrificing one's own desires. Real love is what allows a gentle touch or a smile to speak a thousand words. Real love is saying "I love you!" with the understanding that your loved one doesn't need to hear it to know it. Real love is growing old together, with the mere presence of the other providing all one needs to be content with life. Above all, real love means that you love your husband or wife more today than you did yesterday, and that tomorrow the love will be greater still. Love that does not grow fades and dies. There should not be one day when you cannot truthfully tell your beloved, "I love you more now than ever."