Looks like I made a new friend (Not) No. 2 — Conduct and Etiquette on True Nudists

PaulOriginal Poster

Oct 6, 2014

OK, I tried to make a friend of a fellow TN Member, like, I presume, you're supposed to. Admittedly, I never even saw his request for no Friendship Requests from single males and I now have no way of checking how predominant that notice (I nearly wrote "warning", but why should it be so unfriendly as to be called a warning?) as this Member (I'm not naming and shaming here... yet) has blocked me. Fair enough. But my "problem" (though I'll get over it, this is only the Internet...) is that he followed up by sending me an abusive PM, telling me to go forth and multiply (but in not so many words...). Not seeing any other way, I rashly reported the message as Spam and it has now disappeared from my In Box. Ho hum... Is there any other way to report this "ungentlemanly" behaviour. Yes, I'm a single male and this Member may not wish to be befriended by me, but that does not excuse abusive PMs. Any advice?

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Keith
Oct 6, 2014
Best advice is block them and move on, There is already too much angst in the world already.
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floridaslim
Oct 6, 2014
Chalk it up as a learning experience and hopefully you'll be able to avoid those types of people in the future. It is a shame that some folks just cannot be socially polite.
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Steve
Oct 6, 2014
Not to excuse rudeness on anyone's part, but:

The main reason single males are in such ill repute is that they are often almost exclusively visually oriented, responding to pictures and not to words; people who are totally over the nakedness thing find this a bit tedious. (And, of course, to the extent that the visual orientation is sexual, more than a bit tedious.) If you are initiating a friendship with someone who has troubled to enter profile text - as you have not -read that text! Had you done so in this case, there would have been no incident.
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PaulOriginal Poster
Oct 6, 2014
[quote]Not to excuse rudeness on anyone's part, but:

The main reason single males are in such ill repute is that they are often almost exclusively visually oriented, responding to pictures and not to words; people who are totally over the nakedness thing find this a bit tedious. (And, of course, to the extent that the visual orientation is sexual, more than a bit tedious.) If you are initiating a friendship with someone who has troubled to enter profile text - as you have not -read that text! Had you done so in this case, there would have been no incident.
[/quote]Sorry but I fully admit I never even saw the text (and can't confirm whether it was prominent enough now that I have been blocked). So are you saying that that then justifies this Member telling me to f**k off in a PM? A simple "No thank you" would have sufficed!

By the way, I may not have written enough text for you (I'm certainly not telling everyone my Income Level, thank you very much) but you can hardly deny that my photos show that I am a nudist of ill repute. And I am not going to write up that I don't want Friendship Requests from 99% of the population! Did you get down to my Interests. Movies, etc?

And don't worry, I've got over the rejection. I just don't think that people like that should think that they can get away with behaviour like that.

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StevieLorna
Oct 7, 2014
I never make a friends request unless I've chatted to somone in the chatroom, or had some sort of contact through posting on the board.

Our profile states that we wont accept random requests just to get our numbers up.

At the last count we have 107 friends requests pending, I've no idea why they were sent as I know nothing about any of them.

My advice to make real friends, talk to them, don't just send a request, and read everything on their profile first.
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Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
Oct 8, 2014
Why would anyone send a friend request to a complete stranger?
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PaulOriginal Poster
Oct 9, 2014
[quote]This is my fortnightly appearance on this site. I used to come here every day. Too many uptight jerks. You aren't missing anything by not dealing with this person again. Do they have anything else to say? I doubt it. They have no right swearing at you. [/quote]Thank you. I think you're the only person to get my point. How many times have I said I can get over the "rejection"?Of course, not every Friendship Request is successful, for whatever reason and many of you have given perfectly acceptable reasons why you chose not to accept certain Friendship Requests. On the other hand, most of us are strangers to each other and nudism is what we share. Can't this and a friendship be built on as we get to know each other?The point I am trying to make quite simply is that, whatever the reason for not accepting my Friendship Request, I think I have a right not to expect to be told to "F**k off".
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Travellingbizguy
Oct 10, 2014
Courtesy and manners are a 2 way street. I do wish some people would have more complete profiles so we can get some insight into them. I would also appreciate if someone were to read a profile if the member has taken the time to fill one in.
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PaulOriginal Poster
Oct 10, 2014
[quote]Courtesy and manners are a 2 way street. I do wish some people would have more complete profiles so we can get some insight into them. I would also appreciate if someone were to read a profile if the member has taken the time to fill one in.
[/quote]So, my choicenotto tell the world everything about me (including my salary) justifies an abusive message? Thank you for encouraging me to be a bully in return. How far do you think I will get if I put a statement on on my profile saying that I don't want Friendship Requests from men who commit illegal acts of nudity in public with intent to cause a breach of the peace...? How far do you think I would get if I expressed the belief that Americans believe they are the only people who are right. Exactly, they are sweeping generalisations that don't warrant support and are something I would never say. Courtesy and manners are indeed a two-way street...
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Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
Oct 10, 2014
[quote]Why would anyone send a friend request to a complete stranger?
[/quote]Oh now I know why. I never checked before. If they are on my friends list they can see MORE naked pictures.
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PaulOriginal Poster
Oct 11, 2014
Gosh, this place is full of brown-nosing arrogant people who think that only they are right. Not at all the live-and-let-live attitude I have come to experience and enjoy in real life on the European continent. I fear for the cyper-nudist-world. I can't believe a website that so contradicts the phrase "Friend Request". Nudists are supposed to be friendly amd welcoming. The real world with real people is far better. Don't get me wrong, there are some good people out there and I will hang on until this site annoys so many people it disappears up its own orifice. Nothing can justify arrogant, abusive behaviour. It is so self-destroying. But I'm probably conceived as wrong...
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M
Oct 11, 2014
Paul, I agree. I have met far more friendlier people in real life at resorts than, with very few exceptions, I have ever met on line. I guess it is easier to be rude when you are hiding behind a screen name. Now back to the original topic... Take the internet for what it is worth. If you send out a friend request here, never expect it to be answered. If by some chance it is, that is probably a friend worth having. The exception is... what I call "friend collectors". These are people who somehow think the number of friends they have will boost their status somehow.
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Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
Oct 11, 2014
[quote]Gosh, this place is full of brown-nosing arrogant people who think that only they are right. Not at all the live-and-let-live attitude I have come to experience and enjoy in real life on the European continent. I fear for the cyper-nudist-world. I can't believe a website that so contradicts the phrase "Friend Request". Nudists are supposed to be friendly amd welcoming. The real world with real people is far better. Don't get me wrong, there are some good people out there and I will hang on until this site annoys so many people it disappears up its own orifice. Nothing can justify arrogant, abusive behaviour. It is so self-destroying. But I'm probably conceived as wrong...
[/quote]"The real world with real people is far better."
In the real world it is not a good idea to walk up to a complete stranger and ask them to be your friend.

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Connor
Oct 12, 2014
[quote]OK, I tried to make a friend of a fellow TN Member, like, I presume, you're supposed to.[/quote]No. It's not a mandatory requirement, only if youwantto.[quote]...this Member may not wish to be befriended by me, but that does not excuse abusive PMs. Any advice?[/quote] Posts #2, #3, #6 sums it up.[quote]...So are you saying that that then justifies this Member telling me to f**k off in a PM?[/quote]No, I don't think you deserve that.[quote]...I just don't think that people like that should think that they can get away with behaviour like that.[/quote]The problem is, he did and you're offended that he did. It was so bad that you created and dedicated a thread on thatoneincident about thatonemember.
Look, you have 455 friends according to your profile. There's got to be something good about those 455. Is there something inspiring about one of your friends?[quote]...I think I have a right not to expect to be told to "F**k off"[/quote]What you expect from other people and what you might get from them are two entirely different things. Your experience proves it.[quote]On the other hand, most of us are strangers to each other and nudism is what we share. Can't this and a friendship be built on as we get to know each other?[/quote]Sure, a lot of people would like that.[quote]Nudists are supposed to be friendly amd welcoming.[/quote]Yes, but nudists are also realistic. When it comes to the internet, there are good and bad elements mixed into it. You need to sort them out. Sometimes during the sort, you'll meet the good ones with the bad ones.

Just because somebody is naked, typing in front of a computer, signed/registered to this website, doesnotautomaticallymake them true or nudist(s), friendly or welcoming, courteous or well mannered.

I guess you had to learn that the hard way.

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Steve
Oct 21, 2014
Something to keep in mind: When you reject a friend request, the requester gets no message. It's likely that someone who has sent a blind friend request has sent lots of them, and is not keeping track. Reject away, as you like - it takes just a second, and you are offending no one. Specifying who you want requests from, let alone telling off someone who has sent a request in violation of your preferences, is a waste of energy and a piece of needless negativity.

It sometimes happens that the same person will send a friend request more than once, likely by accident or maybe on purpose - that's the only time I can imagine when active pushback is in order.
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Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
Oct 21, 2014
I just confirm and then ignore. No fuss no muss.
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PaulOriginal Poster
Oct 24, 2014
[quote]If you want to compare this to a real world nudist resort. Imagine a couple trying to enjoy their day, poolside in a couple of lounges, and there is 500 single males lined up hoping to get a look at the wife. Maybe there are a few guys in that line who might make good friends, but most just want to perv at the wife. Ya think the couple might be getting tired of the barrage of single males? We've had probably over a thousand friend requests from single males. The ones we friend, are the ones we've gotten to know in chat or the forums over the course of weeks or even months. Just like a real world friendship.[/quote]I'm gay... But also a successful past member of a landed nudist club (I ended up not moving down to that neck of the woods). Lots of naked husbands and wives, singletons, straights, gays, etc. With our clothes off you try and strike up a friendship to find out of the person, whoever they are, is worth getting to know or not. Not much trouble at all (sorry to disappoint) but lots of laughs. Entertained with my singing as an award-winning amateur performer and actor. I won't write everything here but bother to get to know me and you might find things out, rather like anybody else and rather than being rude.
Having been busy elsewhere (rehearsals and programme editing) I have left this thread for a while. It is indeed eclectic, but I am pleased to see a few more people getting my point instead of being rather negative and accusative. Has anyone notoced that this is called No. 2. That's a hint that I'm not the first one to feel this way.
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ruhl straley
Dec 4, 2014
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Keith
Dec 4, 2014
I think what turns a lot of people off accepting friends on here is more of a lack of or no communication prior to a friends request.
I single males sends a friends request, no cover message, no introduction as to who and why they want to be friends and to cap it off no profile info.
Also many start off accepting requesting friendship requests, get burnt by the picture and sexual relationship and then limit who they will accept as friends..
It only needs one rotten egg in the basket to make all the others suspect. Same here on TN. Plus in the textile world we pick and chose our friends (ie. Facebook). So why can't we pick and choose our friends or associates on here.
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John
Dec 4, 2014
Hey Ruhl...you might get more friends here if you have a picture where you are smiling :-)
Just a suggestion.
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