Bisexuality

Replies

• GU

  

  Guzzi27

  Mar 27, 2021

  [quote]Hi to couples out there that might read this. When I read profiles of couples I notice that many state that one is bisexual and other straight. So how does that work? Does one continue to enjoy same sex liaisons in private? Openly with consent? Do you enjoy together? Im bi but my partner is straight and is against the idea of two guys together. So out of respect I have kept the two areas of sexuality apart. How does it work for you ?[/quote] I guess it depends on whether you are in a monogamous relationship. If you are, then what difference does it make if one of you is bi? No different to staying monogamous if you are both straight, gay or whatever.

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• CH

  

  Chris

  Mar 27, 2021

  I'm bi and my wife is aware and comfortable that I explore this side of my sensuality/sexuality. Through TN and TS I have met some lovely new friends. I can't wait to be out of the lockdown closet. I realise I am a lucky man.

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• NP

  

  Nude Paul

  Mar 27, 2021

  I have a friend who is bisexual. His wife is aware and totally open to having me in their home for him to play with. She knows he has a desire to be with another guy and she would rather him do it in front of her rather than in secret. Sometimes she will go out for the evening and leave us alone, other times she stays home and leaves the bedroom for us. Occasionally she will even sit in the bedroom reading a book while we play in the bed.

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• CA

  

  CalidablueOriginal Poster

  Mar 27, 2021

  Thank you for your replies.
  Yes I understand if youre in a monogamous relationship that what does it matter, but if you enjoy same sex activity is one not true to themselves if they dont pursue those desires?
  Yes youre lucky guys that the ladies in your life except and encourage.

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• GU

  

  Guzzi27

  Mar 28, 2021

  [quote]Yes I understand if youre in a monogamous relationship that what does it matter, but if you enjoy same sex activity is one not true to themselves if they dont pursue those desires.[/quote]
  
  But isnt being part of a monogamous relationship that you knowingly forego sexual activity outside that relationship? Whether it is with someone of the same sex as your partner or the opposite sex, Bisexuality doesnt change that commitment.
  If you are male and in a monogamous heterosexual relationship and go and have sex with a woman then that is considered cheating. I dont see the difference if you go off and have sex with a man behind your partners back. Being true to yourself to justify it is just a pretty thin excuse, supposed you are married to a brunette but have always had a thing for red heads. Is it justification to occasionally go off with a red head because you are being true to yourself?
  I am not passing moral judgement on monogamous/open relationships, straight/gay/bi sexuality. Each to his own and their choice, sexuality etc should be respected. But being true to yourself and your partner is being open and having the discussion. Not going behind their back and having a secret life.

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• JO

  

  John

  Mar 30, 2021

  This thread reminds me of a radio interview I heard. The person who was interviewed was a Roman Catholic priest who came out as gay and was facing being kicked out of the priesthood for that. His argument was that, like all the heterosexual priests, he'd taken a vow of chastity and and wasn't going to go back on that vow. He just wanted to be treated like any heterosexual priest who'd taken the same vow.

  He asserted that he had known he was gay all along, and that he was going to secretly identify as gay even when he went into the priesthood. He didn't think it was a big deal. If he had taken a vow of chastity and been true to it, it shouldn't have made a difference whether he was gay or straight.

  I thought he was right. And I don't know whether he got kicked out. That was many years ago, and I think the current Pope would be more sympathetic to his cause.

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• ME

  MexNude

  Mar 31, 2021

  If the both of you don't mind sharing each other it's fine.

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• JI

  

  Jim

  Mar 31, 2021

  [quote]Yes I understand if youre in a monogamous relationship that what does it matter, but if you enjoy same sex activity is one not true to themselves if they dont pursue those desires. But isnt being part of a monogamous relationship that you knowingly forego sexual activity outside that relationship? There is not one kind of monogamy. There's romantic monogamy, sexual monogamy, serial monogamy, strict, loose, etc etc...

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Mar 31, 2021

  From our first day on this site we have had a steady stream of messages from other members. (although it has died off quite a bit over the last few months. )

  Many of the messages were from other couples, the ones that had either one or both profiles set as bisexual were always trawling for swingers. So now when I see a profile with a bisexual partner I assume that they are most likely swingers or wannabe swingers.

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 1, 2021

  Bi - By - Bye - Buy. So many bi's, it's confusing.

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• CR

  

  Craig

  Apr 6, 2021

  My GF enjoys sex with women on occasion. She has been with three good friends since we have been together (10 years). The rule is that I have to be there. She can't go behind my back or do it without my consent. It has worked great for a decade. She gets her girl fun and I get to watch.

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• DA

  

  Dan

  Apr 7, 2021

  Like I have read on here from many posts, its what works for your situation. I am Bi and my wife is straight. We are in a poly relationship in which she has a BF and I have BFs. we have been married 16 long years and together over 20. We are still VERY much in love with each other and our private life is still flourishing. But we talked about it and understand what we are doing. There is nothing secretive about it. We both know the passcodes to each others phones and could read messages at any time.

  But again this is something that works for us and does not work for all. Its about open discussion and not hiding anything. and at the end of the day if it is not working then you need to make decisions on what is best to move forward. That being said I do not think that Bi-Sexuality means much these days. More the 50% of engage in Bi-Sexual acts at some point and as long as the relationship is ok then go for it. As for Bi-Sexuality in nudism, again I do not think plays a factor. Being a nudist is not a sexual thing. So trying to bring Bi-Sexuality in would be like saying that all men want to have sex with all women simply because they are naked.

  I think people need to leave Sexual identity out of being a nudist as it should not have any bearing on who you hang with nude.

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• K

  K

  Aug 31, 2021

  For me, I have ours as male is straight and female is bi curious. We don't hide any of that from each other. My husband is very vocal about no other men but knows that I really like women. We have talked a lot about inviting another woman and both love the thought.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Aug 31, 2021

  This thread has spun out in so many directions. There are two aspects of being human which drive us: we are sexual and we form relationships. Sometimes those fit into neat boxes. In real life things are more complex and labels falter. When does attraction become sexual? When does body care and sensuality (such as massage) become sexual? When does a sexual relationship become mundane or transactional? How can we honor our sexuality which is likely dynamic and evolving and maintain relationships? It all takes work, commitment and communication.

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• JO

  

  John

  Aug 31, 2021

  There was an interview maybe twenty years ago on "Fresh Air" where the guest was a Roman Catholic priest who came out as gay, and was being asked to leave the priesthood. He maintained that while he identified with being gay, he was also absolutely committed to his vow of celibacy. He argued that because of that vow, it shouldn't make any difference whether he was gay or straight.

  I think it's the same dynamic happening here. Two people of different genders may be in a stable relationship, although one of them identifies as bisexual, even if that person didn't actually engage in sexual relations with their own sex. Just because you find that a person of your sex triggers sexual excitement doesn't mean that you're going to act out on it. It's simply an acknowledgement of a part of their personality.

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• JO

  

  John

  Sep 4, 2021

  Hell if I know. Whatever label they choose is fine with me.

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• LI

  

  Lisa

  Sep 23, 2021

  I imagine it varies greatly. I think I always knew I was curious. My husband denied any attraction to men. He set up a weeks vacation with another couple with the intent of swapping or at least the other wife and me playing. The week was fun and several days in my husband had the other guys cock in his mouth. After we got back we both claimed we had enjoyed our experiment but would return to monogamy.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Sep 24, 2021

  [quote]If he had been performing cunnilingus, rimming a male or female anus, or any other sexual activity, I would suspect the outside activity loosenening the aura around the marriage has an effect Once that happens, when there is a disagreement, tension, or a full opportunity to cheat sexually, the loss of a boundary may make it easier.[/quote] Interesting thread. I went all in for the concept of marriage for life, only to have my wife inform me that her friends told her I wasn't what she had signed up for. She become "unfaithful" by losing faith in me and redefining marriage as a "for better or even better" proposition. Neither of wavered sexually, though mental health was another issue. There's an inherent tension between your spouse's growth, your growth as a couple and your independent growth. Honoring sexuality is one small part of it. I've seen a lot of couples grow apart over financial and status differences. Perhaps the difference in getting out there and licking others' genitals, cars, travel or real estate is negligible if you're on different paths. Therefore, I give little credence to orientation labels and think that defining "life phase partner" leads to better outcomes, at least when parenting is not part of the equation.

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• LI

  

  Lisa

  Sep 24, 2021

  I think it is complicated to pigeonhole people and label them as one thing. Plus if you love someone you learn to accept things and understand the changes life brings. Not many people are pure this or not at all that.

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• JO

  

  John

  Sep 25, 2021

  CodeBare wrote: [quote] FWIW, not anymore. You need to have it have been 3 months since your last sexual encounter with another man.[/quote] When I last donated, the question was "Have you had sex with a male at any time?" without the qualifier. But If I had said yes, then the following question might have had that qualifier. I'll ask next time I donate. (But, as I said earlier, I've never had the attraction to men that I've had to women.) As for people's comment on how "life partner" should be recast as "life phase partner," I'm reminded of a quote which I think might have been by Oscar Wilde: "A man marries a woman thinking she'll never change, but of course she does. A woman marries a man thinking she can change him, and of course she never can."

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• LI

  

  Lisa

  Sep 25, 2021

  Or polyamory? Depends how complicated we want to make it.

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• CH

  Charles

  Sep 26, 2021

  In our case I have tried being with other women and while enjoyed myself I have decided to remain straight. When I revealed it to my partner he admitted some desire to see what being with another man woukd be like, or sharing one with me. I am fine with either, even turned on by the possibility.

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• BU

  

  bumples

  Sep 26, 2021

  Our relationship has been and still is very stable. I've enjoyed sex with another man and my wife knew about it but she has never had a desire to be with another female. My male encounters started with another male 'accidentally' falling out of my wife and slipping into my mouth while I was licking them together. My wife knew that this happened but didn't care when in other MFM's I would enjoy the other man occasionally. We both are very comfortable with out sexuality and stable marriage. All of the outside encounters for both of us were for the enjoyment and appreciation of the human body that could be had. There were plenty of opportunities for my wife to enjoy another female in the FMF's but she never acted upon it. I respected her decision and she recognized and respected my likes as well.
  We have been happily married for 50+ years and still enjoy and respect each other just as much as the day we were married.

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