Nudist get-togethers at home.

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• TD

  

  Tom D

  Jan 12, 2024

  [quote]Ok...usually I'm full of answers and opinions about "all things nudist"; but this one has me a bit stumped. A couple of weeks ago my wife and I had a discussion about our nudist friends, whom we haven't seen in a few months now. "Off season", while the resort is closed, we typically get-together for a (textile) brunch or dinner; and once a year, at the height of winter, we meet up at the spa. My wife and I were bouncing ideas off each other, when she said: "Why not just invite them here for dinner and card games?" I asked if she wanted to designate it as "dressed." She thought for a sec replied: "Let's just make it "bring a towel"." I said: "You're open to the possibility of "naked hosting" several naked people in our home!?" To which she replied: "Eh, I just want to leave it on the table..." On a side note this is one of my wife's "famous switcharoos." She's previously stated she would "never ever" turn our home into a "nudist club." But actually missing our nudist friends and our "bare" connection with them - has apparently indeed caused a change of heart. So here's my pickle. Certainly, we've all been naked around each other consistently at the resort; and we're used to it. No anxiety or mystery there. But as far as I know, our friends are all recreational nudists - not home nudists. Our closest friend has told my wife she sometimes works naked at home; but that might be the extent of it. So let's say it actually happens and 2-3 couples show up one evening at our doorstep. Some might say "just answer the door nude." But they might not be expecting it and might be "thrown." I don't want anyone to feel "thrown." Others might say, after they've all settled in: "Ok who wants to get naked?" Too weird for me, and I'm an introvert. Playing a game where an item of clothing is removed with every loss? Too "strip-teasy." I can't think of any "tactful way" to introduce the idea that all are welcome to get naked in our home. My wife's idea of designating the invite as "bring a towel" is in her mind enough to let them know social nudity at our home is on the table. But will it just leave them guessing and waiting for someone to take the initiative? Or maybe I shouldn't say anything at all; and if it turns out "dressed", so be it? All this would have been easier for me if it had been brough up while nude together at the resort. I could have just said: "Since everyone is comfortable naked, how about a naked dinner and cards at our house?" But that's not the case here. We'd be coming out "of nowhere." Any thoughts, suggestions, comments, personal anecdotes, etc...welcome here.[/quote] Just tell them when you invite them that the gathering is clothing optional and the two of you intend to be nude. A group of mostly men who meet at Gunnison have nude mandatory social gatherings with dinner in the off-season. I have been to several. Great time!

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• BB

  

  Bill Bowser

  Jan 12, 2024

  Id suggest that you have this discussion with your intended guests. Tell them what you have in mind and get their opinions of how the event should unfold. I think it would be interesting to hear their thoughts.

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• TD

  

  Tom D

  Jan 12, 2024

  [quote]Ok...usually I'm full of answers and opinions about "all things nudist"; but this one has me a bit stumped. So here's my pickle. Certainly, we've all been naked around each other consistently at the resort; and we're used to it. No anxiety or mystery there. But as far as I know, our friends are all recreational nudists - not home nudists. Any thoughts, suggestions, comments, personal anecdotes, etc...welcome here.[/quote] Why do you think that your friends are not home nudists? I would think that most people who are nude at resorts would also be nude at home.

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• ST

  

  Steve

  Jan 12, 2024

  We've face this with people we know from the beach or from other contexts, and who we know are to some extent nude friendly. It can be tricky to talk out thoroughly beforehand. People can't always predict their feelings. There can also be a lingering doubt about whether different rules might apply in your home, a more *ahem* intimate setting that more public venues, nearly impossible to address smoothly in advance. My suggestion: Note in your invitations that the gathering is "clothing optional." Put out towels. At least one of you should be naked as guests arrive. If you aren't, no one will feel comfortable being the first to undress. You can, as you greet people, let them know where they can "leave your things if you like", and prime that spot with an outfit of clothing, typically laid onto a bed (which also signals that the bed willnotbe used.) You can use a foyer space or somesuch, too - but some people are more shy about undressing than they are aboutbeingundressed. Now put yourself in the position of a guest who did not undress on arrival, but soon realizes it's a safe and friendly place for nudity. It's hard for them to make the occasion, later on, to go shed their clothes. Consider making the occasion. Hot tub or massage table are obvious, but if that's not in the plan, then it might just be the second of you excusing yourself to go undress. At our place, we take advantage of the particular situation of our gate to tell people "Feel free to open our gate when you arrive, or if you are arriving naked, wait for us to open it for you." Which answers the perennial "Can I arrive naked/undress at the car" question asked about resorts and other venues, and signals just how welcome nudity will be.

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• TD

  

  Tom D

  Jan 12, 2024

  [quote]We've face this with people we know from the beach or from other contexts, and who we know are to some extent nude friendly. It can be tricky to talk out thoroughly beforehand. People can't always predict their feelings. There can also be a lingering doubt about whether different rules might apply in your home, a more *ahem* intimate setting that more public venues, nearly impossible to address smoothly in advance. My suggestion: Note in your invitations that the gathering is "clothing optional." Put out towels. At least one of you should be naked as guests arrive. If you aren't, no one will feel comfortable being the first to undress. You can, as you greet people, let them know where they can "leave your things if you like", and prime that spot with an outfit of clothing, typically laid onto a bed (which also signals that the bed will not be used.) You can use a foyer space or somesuch, too - but some people are more shy about undressing than they are about being undressed. Now put yourself in the position of a guest who did not undress on arrival, but soon realizes it's a safe and friendly place for nudity. It's hard for them to make the occasion, later on, to go shed their clothes. Consider making the occasion. Hot tub or massage table are obvious, but if that's not in the plan, then it might just be the second of you excusing yourself to go undress. At our place, we take advantage of the particular situation of our gate to tell people "Feel free to open our gate when you arrive, or if you are arriving naked, wait for us to open it for you." Which answers the perennial "Can I arrive naked/undress at the car" question asked about resorts and other venues, and signals just how welcome nudity will be.[/quote] The nudity required gatherings I have attended make it clear that it is a social occasion only, not a sex party. Since the usual host lives on a street with small lots and no trees, undressing before entering is not an option. The hosts are usually nude when I arrive. A few of the guests have even mentioned that they drove most of the way nude, but dressed in a secluded area before entering the development. We are asked to go upstairs and leave our clothes on any of the beds.

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• DE

  

  dennis

  Jan 13, 2024

  At the social meetings I have attended....
  Greetings at the door are dressed. Welcomed to the common areas, shown the direction to facilities for use as needed, then shown a location to change if they desire when comfortable.
  The other host was in the kitchen/dining area as normal attending to the evenings needs.

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• NU

  

  nudonyOriginal Poster

  Jan 14, 2024

  [quote]I would think that most people who are nude at resorts would also be nude at home.[/quote] There are actually a lot of recreational nudists that are not home nudists (and by that I'm including nudists who are naked at home most or all of the times) for a variety of reasons. Especially here in the Midwest, where it is currently -9 degrees. [quote]My suggestion: Note in your invitations that the gathering is "clothing optional." Put out towels. At least one of you should be naked as guests arrive. If you aren't, no one will feel comfortable being the first to undress. You can, as you greet people, let them know where they can "leave your things if you like", and prime that spot with an outfit of clothing, typically laid onto a bed (which also signals that the bed will not be used.) You can use a foyer space or somesuch, too - but some people are more shy about undressing than they are about being undressed.[/quote] Good suggestions. My wife's idea to send out the invite with "bring your own towel" underlined is one "hint"; and walking into our living room, with towels already laid out on the couch, is pretty much understood by all nudists as to their intent. I don't think either one of us is quite ready to just open the door naked as they arrive. But being "lightly covered" might just have the "desired effect." My wife has a light strapless onesie that I'm sure our guests would recognize as her "pre-nudity" accoutrement. All these factors combined just might be enough to get the ball rolling. I can't imagine that none of our guests would bring up the "nudist setup." And if the response is positive; then that's my cue to get naked first and show our guests to the guest room for "private" disrobing. This is quite a bit of speculation here on my part; but at least I've got some ideas as opposed to none lol!

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• AL

  

  Al

  Jan 14, 2024

  The only nudist guests that I have hosted in my home were invited with the expectation that we would be nude. My nudist friends who give a lot of parties came to the conclusion a while ago that clothing optional never worked. They found that people became uncomfortable one way or the other. their parties are either clothed or nude and its made clear in the invitation. I can see how a private home vs a resort can create a different perspective for guests. Especially if theyve never been to your home. Maybe a clothed get together first where you discuss possible future nude gatherings. .

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• NU

  

  nudonyOriginal Poster

  Jan 14, 2024

  [quote]I can see how a private home vs a resort can create a different perspective for guests. Especially if they've never been to your home. Maybe a clothed get together first where you discuss possible future nude gatherings.[/quote]
  
  This is actually a strong consideration. Brunch with one couple and dinner with another. Bringing up having a [em]potentially nudist[/em] get-together at our home, with each couple separately, and seeing how they respond. If the response is positive, that cuts through a lot of the ambiguity; and would make me opening the door naked as they arrive less "unexpected."
  In addition, we are closest to one couple; and whereas having everyone arrive at the same time might cause her to be squeamish about being naked right away, having them arrive a little earlier would solve that issue. She absolutely would get naked when her "nudist BFF" arrives; who then would undoubtedly join her right away. And by the time everyone else arrives, that's 4 of us already naked; and it becomes clearer for them what the "tone" of the evening is going to be.
  
  This process would require more careful planning and time; but it eliminates much of the "ambiguity". I'll be sure to discuss with the wife.
  
  Good call!

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• HH

  

  HghySjoerdh h

  Jan 15, 2024

  The quote " bring your own towel" must be clear for your guests. Especially when you open the door for them totally undressed. I think all your guests will undress after entering.

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• NU

  

  nudonyOriginal Poster

  Jan 15, 2024

  [quote]Even though, our nudist friends, all live naked most of every day, like us, I think they still are looking for the hosts to set the tone and mood. Given the parameters and the fact that you've all seen each other naked on multiple occasions, if they are comfortable with nudity in an intimate setting, they'll join suit or won't. If they are uncomfortable with the nudity in that setting, then it can become a covered gathering and you'll know for the next one who is comfortable with being naked and who is not.[/quote] Yeah Andy; good points. It's been hard enough, in the past, getting everyone in the same place for a get-together - outside of the resort (our "core" group is 4 couples). And social nudity in my living room, as opposed to the resort, would be very "different" for them. My wife and I have "been there, done that" at a nudist BnB; but not our friends, as far as I know (or at least not to the same extent). Given her own personal experience, I "think" Liz understands the dynamic of women being more comfortable with the idea of being naked at a home get-together - when the hostess is herself naked first. But not knowing for sure if the other women are even planning on being naked might cause her to remain covered and hesitate to take the lead. With her "BFF", no problem; but I don't know about the others. I can speculate on that all day; I don't know. It's a conversation that will need to be had. There are lot of unknown (at this time) variables. Ultimately though, it's not a BIG deal. Maybe the get-together does indeed end up being covered, only one or two of the couples show up; and we just have a good time anyway. After all, we will still get together at our resort and hang out naked there - if nowhere else lol!

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• ER

  

  Eric/Reina

  Jan 15, 2024

  Thank you for this thread. I have in the back of my mind that when my house is more nudist friendly, I want to host small gatherings. The hot tub that I bought is part of that plan. It is large enough for comfortable naked soaking without rubbing elbows with your neighbor. Any way, I have often thought about the steps to that first invitation and the ice breaker to comfortable nudity in my home. I will follow along with all comments.

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• NU

  

  nudonyOriginal Poster

  Jan 17, 2024

  [quote]Thank you for this thread. I have in the back of my mind that when my house is more nudist friendly, I want to host small gatherings.[/quote] Absolutely. The reason I pose these personal questions/issues as a thread is because I feel they could lead to an intelligent conversation that could prove interesting or beneficial for others to read. If I just wanted an informed opinion I'd just PM Andy because I know he's "been there and done that." :) [quote]My nudist friends who give a lot of parties came to the conclusion a while ago that clothing optional never worked. They found that people became uncomfortable one way or the other. I can see how a private home vs a resort can create a different perspective for guests. Especially if they've never been to your home.[/quote] Another good point. I also know a nudist who decided to throw a party at his house without specifying the "preferred attire." It was a fiasco. Some people undressed then dressed back up because of the people choosing to remain clothed, the "nudes" kept to themselves, etc... I feel it's got to be one way or the other. If everyone agrees to be naked: great. If a consensus can't be reached; we might as well keep it clothed. At our resort, it's super simple. If my wife and I get there before our friends, we walk naked over to our usual spot; and since they disrobe in the parking lot as well, they arrive naked and see us waiting for them - naked as well. And vice-versa if they arrive first. Zero ambiguity. Which will not be the case when they arrive dressed to our home, and we have to go through the rigmarole of "who's naked first?", "how soon should everyone be naked?", etc... Much to think about and clarify...

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Jan 17, 2024

  You've had great responses and you're generous in sharing your feedback on it. My two cents:
  1)The event is already "recreational" in nature
  2) The issue of it being "home nudist" is likely more relevant to how safe your home feels from passers-by and how comfortable the temperature is (especially with the present subzero Chicago temps)
  3) Given the weather and urban environment, I wouldn't expect people to enter your house or you to greet them naked
  4) Your default comfort and dressing/not dressing routines have already been set at your resort
  5) Best to focus on something else other than nudity rules/expectations; I prefer food discussions like make-your-own-pizza
  6) I'd prefer to feel comfortalbe on my terms, staying dressed for a while coming in from the cold and stripping after a while, more like the issue of keeping or taking off my sweater at a textile party
  Good luck!

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• ME

  Member

  Jan 17, 2024

  We have hosted quite a few nude get togethers at our home over the years. For the most part everyone stayed nude. But having a hot tub pretty much set the norm for everybody staying nude. If someone wanted to get dressed either partial or completely it was not a problem. We are/were all close friends from our nudist club so it was all good.

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