Confession Time — General Discussion on True Nudists

Eric/ReinaOriginal Poster

Apr 4, 2019

I have come to enjoy nudism more and more. I like my nudist friends probably more than my textiles friends. Which brings me to a confession time. I am married and have been for some time. My wife knew before we were married that I was a nudist and that I would occasionally visit a nudist resort near by. When it is just the two of us at home she accepts my nudity around the house and will occasionally join me. Up to this point she has not wanted to join me in social nudity. As I have come to enjoy social nudity more, I have spent more time away from the house. We talk about my time after each visit I tell her about my nudist friends and what I do at the resort. My wife has realized how I cherish social nudity and now wants to join me. She wants to get to know the friends that I have made. This will be a giant step for her. I look forward to supporting her as she steps into this part of my life.

My confession is that I have been married for over ten years. I have portrayed myself as single to my nudist friends. I have done this because before I remarried I started to visit a resort that was single male friendly but not friendly to married males flying solo. I wanted to continue to visit this resort but at the time I knew my wife would not join me even though she knew every time I was there. At the time listing myself as a single male seemed like the simple solution. Yes, I told my wife about this plan as well. And that was fine with her until I wanted to spend more and more time there. I have also listed myself as single on this site because some of my friends here are also members of the resort I visit. Now, as my wife takes these first few steps into social nudity with me, I want to acknowledge her and change my status to married.

All comments are welcome. I know not all will be positive. However, I hope I will get support from my friends and others that I have come to respect here as I support my wife in joining me here.

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BB
Bill Bowser
Apr 4, 2019
It looks to me like the least painful solution to your problem would involve some more deception. Tell the people at the club you were recently married.
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Eric/ReinaOriginal Poster
Apr 4, 2019
I could but if my wife does get to know my resort friends then that would be just another story to keep track of. Eventually the truth would come out. Besides, I believe I have behaved very well and have made good friends. Hopefully that will not change.
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nudeyooper
Apr 4, 2019
Come clean. Your friends have gotten to know you and if they are true friends, they will fully understand. If they shun you, they were not friends at all. Keeping a lie going is exhausting and as you have said, eventually the truth will be learned.
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ME
Member
Apr 4, 2019
If they are truly friends that know you explain to them what you just posted. Though awkward be a real friend to them and come clean, get a restart to this thing. Something to consider is doing this but not in the presence of your wife. She has enough to work through with her reluctance let alone putting her in an awkward setting right out of the gate.
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RT
Reuben Titus
Apr 4, 2019
I think it would go over fairly well, Just tell them you have been posing as single in nude venues because your wife was not interested in joining you in nudist places, but now shes coming around to be interested so you are changing your status.
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ME
Member
Apr 4, 2019
I agree and relate to you. I think you explained it in a responsible way and most will understand. I do, my wife isnt interested in social nudity and I am. I have decided not to interact with other nudist in person so I dont have to make up a story about why she wont join me. She would be fine with me having nudist friends and is fine with others nude but it not necessarily something she relates to. Any, my point is most of us have obstacles to overcome and we all have a story. No judgment here. Glad shes on board with you.
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Stone Andy
Apr 5, 2019
I relate to your dilemma as a dad. I work hard at teaching my sons to be honest, but at times ask them to lie as well, which seems wrong to me. I explain that it's because workers have to follow rules from people who don't know what's going on. No one cares if you just had your 16th birthday or will have it three months, but if the rule is 16, say you're 16 because I think you're mature enough for it.
If you've lied to policy people, tell them what they need to hear to do their jobs. As far as your friends, they should understand you're the same person with or without your wife. At the same time, dynamics change when you're part of a couple vs. single, so be prepared to migrate from some friends while making new ones. Be honest, let things evolve, and enjoy your naked freedom!
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ME
Member
Apr 5, 2019
An interesting conundrum. Think I agree with the others, fess up and explain, good friends will understand and who knows some of them may have had reluctant partners too, it is pretty common. And well done to your wife on taking that next step in joining you and having the courage to be nude amongst others.
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Sam
Apr 6, 2019
Seems to me that if what is the major thing about nudists being accepting is true then they will all understand. Friends are friends indeed only if they are willing to listen to reason regarding why someone might be a bit deceptive. We are all less than perfect. It seems to me that since your spouse has been so accepting of your lifestyle that any friends that are less accepting and understanding of the reason for your deception they are not really friends at all.
I would wager that this is all a non issue at all.
However you choose to handle it. Good for you!
I wish that my spouse would give it a shot. I am sure she would be astounded by the acceptance.
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GSNPhil
Apr 6, 2019
The truth shall set you free. Just go with it and let the chips fall where they may. I'm guessing there may be one or two people who will be huffy about it but, to the majority, it'll be no big deal. And it'll blow over even with the huffy ones once they become friends with your wife.
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Eric/ReinaOriginal Poster
Apr 7, 2019
This is Mrs.E. I appreciate the kind words and support. This is a scary step for me because I am generally a very private and conservative person. For me, nudity had been something to be shared only within certain closed parameters, with a limited valued few. I am choosing to do this now because its so important to my husband and I dont want to be excluded from any more gatherings or holiday activities. I want to meet the people he knows as friends and its become very important to me that I am acknowledged as a significant part of his life. 10.5 years is long enough to be invisible. This is my second marriage and while I adore and cherish my husband, I also have body image baggage from my past that I have difficulty looking past. Ive been told repeatedly that nudists /naturists are accepting people so Im taking deep breaths and giving it a try. Nudity has never bothered me; Ive worked in healthcare for many years. Its my being nude in front of otherssocial nuditythat Ive struggled with. Thank you for the encouragement. I look forward to meeting some of you in the near future.
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FullSun
Apr 8, 2019
[quote]This is Mrs.E. I appreciate the kind words and support. This is a scary step for me because I am generally a very private and conservative person. For me, nudity had been something to be shared only within certain closed parameters, with a limited valued few. I am choosing to do this now because its so important to my husband and I dont want to be excluded from any more gatherings or holiday activities. I want to meet the people he knows as friends and its become very important to me that I am acknowledged as a significant part of his life. 10.5 years is long enough to be invisible. This is my second marriage and while I adore and cherish my husband, I also have body image baggage from my past that I have difficulty looking past. Ive been told repeatedly that nudists /naturists are accepting people so Im taking deep breaths and giving it a try. Nudity has never bothered me; Ive worked in healthcare for many years. Its my being nude in front of otherssocial nuditythat Ive struggled with. Thank you for the encouragement. I look forward to meeting some of you in the near future.[/quote] Mrs, E, I have to say your commitment on this and desire to support your husband is awesome. My wife has supported me in much the same way. Nudity is not really her thing but she is not shy and goes to resorts with me periodically. My wife has large surgical scars could easily create body image issues but she has found people dont care, notice or they become a story to share. She has also found that just about everyone has something they could take issue with. She has not regretted it and now asks to go with me occasionally. Mt friends at Laguna Del Sol now often ask where she is when I go by myself. It may or may not turn out to be your thing but either way I believe you will not regret it.
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nudeyooper
Apr 8, 2019
Body issues might be easier to handle with this attitude. If the issue is evident when clothed, then being nude should not matter. So many times the clothing we wear does not cover our issue, but does give us a sense of security. Mine come from obesity sneaking up on me and clothes do not hide that. It the issue is more intimate, go to You Tube and do a search for "Naked Attraction." It might make you feel more comfortable with what your normal is.
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Olly
Apr 8, 2019
WOW! What a tangled web we weave (he says looking from Europe, 5000 miles away). I'm surprised that the club accepts single males but rejects lone married men. It's the other way round here - seeing single men as more threatening. It is common for a couple to go to a CO venue or beach with the man naked whilst the lady is clothed. It is a good way to introduce the ladies to nudism - to boost our numbers and redress the male/female imbalance. Possibly more important, it gives those with body image problems a chance to see the other nudists and (usually) discover they have similar bodies but still confidently naked.
I agree with the others that you should just come clean. If they spurn you they are not really your friends, are they? When I was exposed to my village as a nudist I was advised not to go into the village pub. But I ignored the advice, went to the pub and bought everyone a drink. The point is that the people that know me just took a sharp intake of breath and then carried on as if nothing was unusual. Your friends know you and appreciate your full, rounded personality.
Incidentally the naughty part of me thought you could play a game: introduce your wife as a new fianc, joining into your lifestyle. I think you love each other deeply enough to carry that off. And it would cover her uncertainty on joining the nude lifestyle. But that's just me being naughty.
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ME
Member
Apr 8, 2019
Does it really matter! what was u doing as a single person to make people care. It makes no sense . If you are married and she is ok for u to hang with a bunch of guys then she not going to worry what you did . And why would bunch of people care if u was married . I feel I wasted my life reading it !
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PA
Paul
Apr 14, 2019
Never should have lied in the first place. However, you cannot turn back time, so... Your best bet is to just come clean with everyone. Then, promise yourself, your wife, and your God that you will never lie again. There is a reason for lying to be a sin. It really complicates your life, and it leaves a great tarnish on you in the eyes of others that you can never fully clean away.
Besides, sometimes the truth is way more hilarious or interesting.
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NA
Naturist_pune
May 26, 2019
Hey buddy, I would say it need courage to confess the things wish we did .... would not say mistakes as u didn't do it intentionally. But sometimes it happens with everyone and I am sure if u try to explain the thing to your near once( like ur friend), he would understand the situation u face and won't mind it. So just tell him directly...he will accept u definitely.
:)
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Eric/ReinaOriginal Poster
Jun 7, 2019
Tomorrow we will venture out to my wife's first social nudist event. It will not be at the resort that I attend. One of the friends that I have made at the resort has land that is private enough to have a few friends over for the weekend. My wife has met the hosts and we have visited the property ( clothed). She seemed comfortable with both the hosts and the area. Now for the moment of truth, meeting the rest of the group that I regularly spend time with at the resort.
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ME
Member
Jun 8, 2019
I wish you all the best as you move forward; it sounds like it's doing well. I was in a similar situation and was patient for a couple of years before my wife agreed to a 'tour' of a resort we passed by on a regular occasion. Like Andy...I had visited it myself several times before taking the wife and making sure it would most likely be a positive experience. Initially, she gave it a lukewarm reception but after time agreed to a weekend visit there. It wasn't a perfect weekend but she did enjoy herself and we visited other venues for more 'tours'. I didn't get the opportunity to visit everyone one but did do extensive internet research before the visit. The shorter version is we're now members at one and usually visit once a month or more. I do hope it works well for you and have a similar outcome.
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