Polygamy or polyandry - a better fit for you?

Replies

• BB

  

  Bill Bowser

  Nov 10, 2021

  I would rather have the system that is used throughout most of the world, and has been in use for thousands of years, one man and one woman. It may not be perfect, but nothing else is either.

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• JO

  

  John

  Nov 10, 2021

  roffdusen wrote: [quote]Would you rather be a husband with multiple wives, or a be a husband who shares his wife with other husbands? Note - I said other husbands, not men. The role reversal of polygamy. Now state your reasoning. Thanks.[/quote] You're not using those terms properly. "Polygamy" means either multiple husbands or multiple wives. In Judeo-Christian and Islamic culture, it is often conflated with "polygyny," which is "one husband and many wives." but it could refer to either arrangement. One wife and many husbands is "polyandry," as you said. IMO, it's up to the people involved to see what works for them. The "one husband, one wife" situation is easiest to deal with legally, since it simplifies things like inheritance. But in cultures with different legal systems, you'll see those other set-ups. and they worked well for thousands of years before the Christian missionaries showed up.

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• M

  

  M

  Nov 10, 2021

  Neither.. Both sounds like too much drama involved. Reminds me of a character on one of the Star Trek series. Each husband has 3 wives and each wife had 3 husbands,

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• RO

  

  roffdusenOriginal Poster

  Nov 11, 2021

  Thanks for correction on polygamy. The tendency throughout history has been 1 man with multiple wives, but polyandry could surge in this enlightened age. Monogamy hasn't been all that successful of late.
  The "men" thing just made it easier to explain. Honestly I'd rather hear female opinion on this, but they seem in short supply.
  Keep it coming, people.

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• ME

  Member

  Nov 11, 2021

  I could only pay off one ex at a time so I personally will stick to one at a time. :D

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• RO

  

  roffdusenOriginal Poster

  Nov 23, 2021

  Would any of you men consider sharing a wife? ie. some other guy(s) to share the load. Any discussion so far has been focused on polygyny ie. 1 man with multiple wives.
  But what about the opposite of that? Polyandry. History is full of polygyny, but not polyandry.
  The reality TV show mentioned is sister wives. You won't find a show brother husbands.
  Would/could your wife go for another man around the house? How would she react to that marriage scenario?

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• NU

  nudeyooper

  Nov 23, 2021

  She says that the pain in the ass that she married is too much sometimes. I doubt that she'd want another one.

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• JO

  

  John

  Nov 23, 2021

  The reason that polygyny and monogamy were fixed in our culture was basically a legal convenience regarding inheritance. Men were the only ones with real rights to property and such, and a father wanted to be sure that those kids were his before handing down his estate. With polyandry, you didn't have that "guarantee" since any of the woman's husbands could be the sperm donor. (I qualify the term "guarantee" because it was entirely possible for unfaithful wives to get pregnant, but there were severe penalties for getting caught at it.)

  In other indigenous cultures, notably native North American and Polynesian ones, the whole notion of inheritable property was a non-starter, so it didn't matter whose kids they were. Polyandry was therefore a reasonable form of polygamy.

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• RO

  

  roffdusenOriginal Poster

  Dec 25, 2021

  Still no women wading in on this. Wouldn't polyandry (1 wife, multi husbands) be an attractive proposition for most women.....your wife for example. Why don't you ask her.
  I mean, what woman wouldn't want many husbands who bring different skill sets to the table.
  Thoughts anyone?

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• NU

  nudeyooper

  Dec 25, 2021

  [quote]Still no women wading in on this. Wouldn't polyandry (1 wife, multi husbands) be an attractive proposition for most women.....your wife for example. Why don't you ask her. I mean, what woman wouldn't want many husbands who bring different skill sets to the table. Thoughts anyone?[/quote] See my answer above. We joke about being a pain to each other but there is a certain amount of truth to it too. I love her and she loves me, but am not certain that either of us would marry again. Loving someone is a lot different than living with them and age brings on more tolerance for some things and less for others.

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• GO

  

  Gordy57

  Dec 26, 2021

  [quote]Still no women wading in on this. Wouldn't polyandry (1 wife, multi husbands) be an attractive proposition for most women.....your wife for example. Why don't you ask her.I mean, what woman wouldn't want many husbands who bring different skill sets to the table.Thoughts anyone?.[/quote] Most women I know have all they want keeping one man happy in bed, let alone 2,3,4,.... Think of it as a wolf pack. They have a Alpha male and a Alpha female, the rest are betas and don't breed they just hunt and bring home the bacon. Do you think you are going to be the Alpha male??? Or one of the Betas bringing home the bacon for your alpha female? I know some gold diggers that would love to have you as a beta male ;-)

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• DA

  

  David

  Dec 26, 2021

  What was I going to say... Oh yes, a husband is a man as a man is also a man just not married. I think however I can see where this is going... A husband (some anyway) could be fedup with the one wife and the sex life becomes dull. The same can be said for women. Single men I see are excluded because somebody thinks single men don't have the same experience, that is, if we are referring to sex. This subject is like chocolate, eat too much of that what you enjoy and you won't enjoy it for long and look elsewhere. Love is a different kettle of fish all together, and if a man trully loves a woman, he looks no further.

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• OS

  

  osprey46

  Dec 30, 2021

  Well folks, I am going to upset the cart here.

  As a gay man, previously married to a woman and experienced a whole range of sexual and living arrangement opportunities after that, I am very open to having a range of arrangements, far more than our current western (christian based) legal system allows for. I do not see this as a fixed thing and having loving and sexual relationships with many people at the same time is a perfectly ok thing to do , so long as people are open and honest about it - and there also lies the challenge with such arrangements.

  Whether it is heterosexual/same-sex couples being swingers with like couples or having open- relationships or having multiple partners, I am open to having a go at any arrangement and allowing other consenting adult to do likewise. I have an open relationship where the rule is that you tell the other partner what you are going to do , or have done, depending on circumstances and whether also partaking in parties so long as one conducts them self as safely as possible.

  All has worked very well for many years in current relationship, whereas previous ones were full of resentment and frustration. If others wish to live in a monogamous loving and sexual relationship, then great for them. I would not decry that, but it is not one with suits everyone. It is a pity that our legal systems can not take account of this - as we have to remember a phrase I used to use in sexual health classes to adults, " Be honest - we all have sex, don't we?"

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