This has been bothering for a while and maybe someone can give me an answer. When did being a single male automatically make you a pervert? Yes, I'm single and a nudist, but according to most people I try to chat to on here, that makes me a pervert. I'll talk to pretty much anyone as long as they are nice and can get along, I don't care if your male or female. The problem is when I send a message to a female seeing if he would like to just chat, they I'm a pervert and trying to hit on them because I'm single, if i try to talk to a guy i'm a gay pervert because I'm single and trying to talk to another guy. On a lot of female profiles I see "Couples Only", and on guys profiles I usually see "Couple Or Single Ladies Only." So if since I'm a single male does that mean I don't belong here since I'm automatically labeled a pervert? Single males seem to be treated outcasts in the nudist world.
Replies
- MEMemberJul 31, 2011
This is once again the same old thing in human culture, it only takes a few to make everyone suspicious. I would bet there are as many married pervs on the site as single pervs, but I think that because they at least have someone in their life to keep them on the straight and narrow, it is not as obvious. As for single female pervs, well as far as most men are concerned, there are none, as it is in the male belief that if the females do it it is ok, so it is only perverted if a male does something.
Just my opinioncheers
ReactReply - CO
Curt, or CowboyJul 31, 2011As I've penned elsewhere and previously on this site.....
A few single males make asses of themselves, and the rest of us have to live it down.
The nature of the direction TN is going tends to accommodate these asses.
As far as the victims of these morons goes, when you're being attacked by 100 ravenous wolverines,
you don't stop to try and figure out which one just wants petted.
You run like hell ! Hence, the "no single males" stances.
The decent guys pay for the errors of those who simply don't care, or are too stupid to care.ReactReply - EV
EvansBetterHalfJul 31, 2011[quote]As I've penned elsewhere and previously on this site..... A few single males make asses of themselves, and the rest of us have to live it down. The nature of the direction TN is going tends to accommodate these asses. As far as the victims of these morons goes, when you're being attacked by 100 ravenous wolverines, you don't stop to try and figure out which one just wants petted. You run like hell ! Hence, the "no single males" stances. The decent guys pay for the errors of those who simply don't care, or are too stupid to care.[/quote] From a woman's point of view......well put!ReactReply - FF
FF32404Jul 31, 2011To all the single males that feel like they are labeled perverts in the chat room! Here is my two cents on preventing this from happening. Just because it's a chat room which means it's a room that people chat, remember that it's not an open invite to Private message who you please. Would you go to a party and walk up to a woman or a guy and say, hi there, would you like to go into the bathroom with me and have a chat in private the very first time you talk to them? If you want to "PM" with people build a relationship with them in the main room. Engage yourself in the conversation in the main room and get to know people there. If you have to tell someone something that is important that you don't want the room to hear and I'll stress, it is something that the person you are talking to won't get pissed off by, then send it in a whisper message. You also have to accept the fact that even if you do all of the above, there is still a good possibility that people might not be interested in PM'ing you perhaps because they don't PM anyone. As you will find out, PM windows take up a lot of space so the chat in the main room gets blocked from view.
If you don't have the patience to do what I have outlined above, then the TN chat room might not be for you.
MikeReactReply - TH
ThomasJul 31, 2011Excelent points about chat Mike, more people need to follow that whether single or married.
I am also a single male and have made a lot of friends on here. They are male, female, couples, straight, bi, and gay. I treat them with respect and I get respect in return. It is a shame that some bad apples give us a bad name, but the ones who make good friends take the time to get to know you and not make judgement based on maritial status.
ReactReply - PE
PeaceMaleJul 31, 2011i might argue that married men are more perverted than their single counterparts. at least the ones I know. ps: single men does not = pervert, any more so than a single female = fat.
ReactReply - PEPeaceMaleJul 31, 2011[quote]Engage yourself in the conversation in the main room and get to know people there. [/quote] hmm, so instead of saying hello via PM, you are suggesting that you say hello as part of the chat flow? So if there are 10 women in the room, and 200 guys, and lets say 50% of the men want to say hello to 50% of the women, there would be 500 lines of chat of people saying "hello"? And I thought the chat flow was insanely dull as it was.ReactReply
- RE
renebbareAug 1, 2011Come on - single (or married/bi/gay) male does not = pervert but some do let us down.
Sadly most of the time single male can be a pest - ask the ladies.ReactReply - MEMemberAug 1, 2011
I do not think PMing anyone is grounds for the label pervert, but yes when engaging with someone it is nice to at least say hello to everyone. I do believe that it is hard for new people to get in the chat flow, most are ignored by the cliques in the chat, it can take days of trying to infeltrate the conversation before anyone will acknowledge your presence. So I do understand the desire to skip that and go for the PM.
There are 2 sides to all of it, and once again a few ruin it for everyone else.ReactReply - THThomasAug 1, 2011
Peacemale, following your logic, if 200 men and 10 women were in room and 50% wanted to say hi to 50% then half the ladies in the room would get slammed by 100 PMs. That would make almost anyone's computer lock up, have heard that complaint from ladies many times that theirs locked up due to too many PMs.
Princedale, when I have been in chat, people respond in the room to all most of the time. There are times when the flow in the room is so fast, someone coming in is missed.
ReactReply - MEMemberAug 1, 2011
Txag,
I am not saying that you never get in, but if you are not a regular, it takes time before you are accepted, I have had little issue in the chat, but have noticed this type of thing going on. It is not that people are intentionally being rude, it is just, as you said, going on so fast hard to get in there sometimes, or respond to people. Personally I am not much of a chatter, more of a poster lol. Probably because I am too long winded, and by the time I get it all typed out, they are on to new topic.
Just trying to say, once again, it takes a few to ruin it for others, and frankly when my wife has decided to try chatting, she had to turn off the PMs, so I do understand for sure. It is the reason she no longer wishes to chat on the site.
And most of the PMs were the same, typically from males (not sure if single or not) asking for private chat cam, barely saying hi.ReactReply - CO
cocomojoeAug 1, 2011I am a single male and have my first nude experience in 1976. I have been hassled many times by gay/bi males who are part Cpls wanting to swing. Also by the religious fanatics pushing their beliefs on others, which is totally wrong! Not all single males are pervs. There are more Cpls and females that are pervs than single males, they just can't admit it.
ReactReply - MEMemberAug 1, 2011
I cant agree with your view any more. Living in South Africa (which is labelled as a crime filled country becuase of a few) I am getting use to the idea of being labelled for nothing. Even single male - single male experience the issue of pervert. Further, I am single on here, but it does not mean that I am single - only my other half is not into being a nudist as much as I am. I have accepted this as reality. Quite sad though.
ReactReply - JO
JohninValAug 1, 2011I know what you mean, as a single male I get the same feeling. It's because there has been too many instances of "single" males hitting on anything and everything. Most of those "single" males, in my opion are not single but attached and are "sneaking" around on their attachment.
ReactReply - PEPeaceMaleAug 2, 2011[quote]Peacemale, following your logic, if 200 men and 10 women were in room and 50% wanted to say hi to 50% then half the ladies in the room would get slammed by 100 PMs. That would make almost anyone's computer lock up, have heard that complaint from ladies many times that theirs locked up due to too many PMs. [/quote] so fortuntely what ends up happening is that we mix it up .. some PM's , some chat room entries, this way neither "roadway" is at a crawl. If locking up continues to be a problem, then limit the room volume at say 50 or 100 members. Thats what AOL does.ReactReply
- PEPeaceMaleAug 3, 2011[quote][quote][/quote] Have you EVER been bombarded with 20 or more PM pop ups at once while trying tyo chat with your Friends. It is very rude to just pop in like that.[/quote] No, and something tells me as a guy you haven't either.ReactReply
- PEPeaceMaleAug 3, 2011[quote][quote][/quote] You highly under estimate your single male Friends then.[/quote] Dont need to "estimate" anything .. I have been in the chat room plenty. You'll get a few PM's. BFD.ReactReply
- EVEvansBetterHalfAug 3, 2011[quote][quote][quote][/quote] You highly under estimate your single male Friends then.[/quote] Dont need to "estimate" anything .. I have been in the chat room plenty. You'll get a few PM's. BFD.[/quote] Sorry. on this you are very wrong.ReactReply
- PEPeaceMaleAug 3, 2011[quote][quote][/quote] I am sorry, I did not know you had access to my wifes or my account. I am very aware of the amount of PM's that are denied or ignored.[/quote] If you follow the thread, you'll see that I am referring to GUYS being PM'd, not Couples. Your experience of being bombarded has everything to do with the other guys thinking they might be talking to your wife, and zero to do with anyone hoping to be talking to you. Sorry to deflate your ego.ReactReply
- PEPeaceMaleAug 3, 2011[quote][quote][/quote] And if you must know, it is very clear who is who. So, bug off and stop trying to get under my skin.[/quote] A previous poster made the comment that I didnt know what it is like to get bombarded with PM's. I replied that as a MALE , he didnt either. Thats where you jumped in (for some odd reason). That I was somehow wrong in my assertion. This coming from a couple ? And how, may I ask, would it be clear to the men trying to hit on your wife "who is who", unless you are on cam? Lastly, I am not trying to get under your skin. Ill leave that for the other petty morons that have in excess of 1,000 posts to their names.ReactReply