When is the best time to tell someone who has come into your life that you are a nudist as in my case we aren't dating yet but there is a good chance we will.
So do I tell her before the first date, on the first date, after we have dated a few times, see if she sees the lack of tan lines when we are naked for sex, tell her if we move in together or not at all and only stay naked when she isn't home. She has a grown up 33? year old son who has left home.
Any help please.
Ps I think this has come up before but was unable to find it.
Replies
- TD
Tom DSep 6, 2019[quote]When is the best time to tell someone who has come into your life that you are a nudist as in my case we aren't dating yet but there is a good chance we will. So do I tell her before the first date, on the first date, after we have dated a few times, see if she sees the lack of tan lines when we are naked for sex, tell her if we move in together or not at all and only stay naked when she isn't home. She has a grown up 33? year old son who has left home. Any help please. Ps I think this has come up before but was unable to find it.[/quote] I would go with after you have dated a few times if it seems to be headed toward a long term committed relationship.ReactReply - LA
Lakeman221Sep 6, 2019I say wait until you have been on several dates first, so she has a chance to find out about YOU as a person and develop a genuine interest in finding out more. Plus it gives you a chance to learn a bit more about her so you can better judge how/when to go about filling in that part of your life to her. See attached image below.
ReactReply - T=
Tom === Thomas S. TierneySep 6, 2019If you are serious about her I think I'd tell her sooner than later. If you wait until after a few dates She may get pissed off at you for wasting her time.ReactReply - FL
flsmoothieSep 6, 2019Good question. As one who dealt with this many times, Ill share my experience telling the woman who became my wife.
We met through AOL before there was online dating sites and exchanged emails and chatted online for many months before meeting in person. At first we were just having fun together and did not intend to met in person since we lived in different states. Eventually we found it was getting a little more serious.
During one chat session I decided to take a chance and broach the nudism subject. Living in South Florida I thought a good way to bring it up was to mentioned the local nude beach. She was very accommodating to the concept, as her grandmother had visited a nudist resort once and shown her the brochure!
One thing to consider, after getting to know someone better, it may be you how decides to end the relationship. But to test the waters early, maybe mention something nonthreatening, such as having been skinny-dipping.
ReactReply - PAPaulOriginal PosterSep 6, 2019
There was one girl (late 40's) I knew a couple of years ago who we chatted quite a bit to each other and one day I said I am nude in the garden and she said she didn't need to know and I think she went past the garden on a bike one day while I was going past with my back to the road and saw I was nude as she said when she was outside the pub smoking that I had some clothes on.
ReactReply - TDTom DSep 6, 2019[quote]Good question. As one who dealt with this many times, Ill share my experience telling the woman who became my wife. We met through AOL before there was online dating sites and exchanged emails and chatted online for many months before meeting in person. At first we were just having fun together and did not intend to met in person since we lived in different states. Eventually we found it was getting a little more serious. During one chat session I decided to take a chance and broach the nudism subject. Living in South Florida I thought a good way to bring it up was to mentioned the local nude beach. She was very accommodating to the concept, as her grandmother had visited a nudist resort once and shown her the brochure! One thing to consider, after getting to know someone better, it may be you how decides to end the relationship. But to test the waters early, maybe mention something nonthreatening, such as having been skinny-dipping.[/quote] mentioning that you sleep nude is could be another noncontroversial way to start the discussion.ReactReply
- FLflsmoothieSep 6, 2019
I also used the three kinds of beaches starter when I lived in South Florida. "We have beaches where women wear tops, beaches where women wear bottoms, and beaches where women wear nothing."
ReactReply - MEMemberSep 6, 2019
I agree with Lakeman to date a few times and get to know and get comfortable with each other. As you know it's ingrained into the western majority that nudity = sex in some manner and if she has that predisposition it may complicate matters to even have a chance to start dating. I also agree don't wait an extended amount of time as that might not make her to happy you have been hiding something important she should have been told.
ReactReply - MEMemberSep 6, 2019I would go on a bunch of dates/hang out with her first before bringing it up.
First it allows you to assess whether you actually want to be with her and whether it's worth any potential trouble.
Second, and more importantly in my opinion, it allows her to get to know you and see that you're a normal balanced good person (I'm assuming you are) before adding an element that might cause a negative gut reaction on her part. Unfortunately a lot of people assume or have been lead to believe that nudism is a bad/unsavory thing for deviants (a whole post can be written on this). So it's best to let her see that you're a positive good functioning adult first.
Related to the last paragraph... unfortunately introducing someone to nudism can be an uphill battle if they have a negative view of it already. And because of that it's easy to "confess" or discuss it in a defensive tone. You are best to just mention it as a matter of fact, being super normal and positive. Don't be defensive. Don't "I have something to tell you..." Do "Went to the beach today... O yes, it's nude, I saw my friends there and the weather was beautiful." My lady friend noticed my all over tan and we had a great talk about the joys of being nude in nature.
I would just assume your friend is into it, she very well might be. I have a theory that everyone loves being nude, most just can't handle the social pressures of talking about it or admitting to it.
Also, if you delay she will probably notice your all over tan anyway... and people like mysteries/intrigue. But don't let it go too long where it becomes something you're hiding from her.ReactReply - ST
SteveSep 6, 2019Talk about places and events, not identity. And do it as soon as you reasonably can. Mention beaches, stays at resorts, skinny dips, backyard sunning - whatever is part of your life or whatever you'll want to be part of your life. Same way you'd talk about going to concerts or staying in bed reading all day... just another thing you do. Don't ask someone to accept you as "a nudist" early on. For one thing, they won't really know what you mean, and you risk bearing a more-than-is-fun burden of explanation.
ReactReply - PTPhil TurnerSep 6, 2019[strong]You are 57 she's 50ish Find out now if she is interested or opposed to nudism.
Quit wasting your and her time if she isn't.
If she isn't, you can still be friends while you look for one that will join you in nudism,IFthat is what you want.[/strong]ReactReply - MEMemberSep 6, 2019
Excellent point
ReactReply - DG
Dyslexic GuySep 7, 2019If you are a committed nudist soon maybe a good time. I thought my wife knew I was a nudist. When I met her was spring time and we were nude most of our first months together. This was due to lust and heat, no a/c, we grew closer and winter came as did clothing. I always thought my wife understood I was a nudist, now she claims not to have known. Feel her out as suggested but let her know clearly you enjoy nudism and it is not sexual. Not easy at the start of a friendship/relationship to do.
ReactReply - NCNick CostelloSep 7, 201919 POSTS 5 Would not lie right from the start.A LIE OF OMISSION:Lying by omission is when a person leaves out important information or fails to correct a pre-existing misconception in order to hide the truth from others. It is not a good idea to start a relationship with an outright lie or a lie of omission. A lie is a lie!!! If you are a truthful person you do not lie.ReactReply
- FLflsmoothieSep 7, 2019[quote]19 POSTS 5 Would not lie right from the start. A LIE OF OMISSION: Lying by omission is when a person leaves out important information or fails to correct a pre-existing misconception in order to hide the truth from others. It is not a good idea to start a relationship with an outright lie or a lie of omission. A lie is a lie!!! If you are a truthful person you do not lie.[/quote] Are you advocating telling her everything hes ever done or thought about?ReactReply
- PAPaulOriginal PosterSep 7, 2019
So some are saying tell her now and see how she takes it and see if it is all over before it starts, others say after a few dates and there is a bond forming bring it up such as in the summer months after I take a shower I don't bother to dress to see how she takes this, and one who have said that if we love each other and a strong bond is forming consider reducing my nudity as been in love with someone is more important than been a single nudist.
Plenty of thinking to do.
ReactReply - NCNick CostelloSep 7, 2019What's to think about? There is an old saying. "Shit or get off the pot" You haven't even dated this woman. Ask her, maybe she'll say "NO" and solve your problem. You are 57 years old - single - no kids. No ex-wives? No ex-girlfriends? Have you ever asked a woman for a date? If yes, did you tell her you enjoyed nudism? What happened?ReactReply
- PTPhil TurnerSep 8, 2019WAIT! WAIT! HE'S RUNNING AROUND NAKED WITH HER??????ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneySep 8, 2019WTF? Is this guy real?ReactReply
- ST
StevieLornaSep 8, 2019Hes real, the women are imaginary.
ReactReply - PAPaulOriginal PosterSep 8, 2019[quote]Hes real, the women are imaginary.[/quote] Sorry you haven't got a clue what you are on about.ReactReply
- PAPaulOriginal PosterSep 8, 2019
I have flagged two of these posts as they violate to site rules.
ReactReply - PTPhil TurnerSep 8, 2019I just checked he signed in 3 minutes ago. No denials No explanationsReactReply
- PTPhil TurnerSep 8, 2019OK It's been 10 minutes I'm bored. I'll be backReactReply