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ManOfWicklow

Humor and Fun

Best Farting Jokes

Posted Mar 24, 2017

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MA
ManOfWicklow
ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
Mar 24, 2017
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Mar 24, 2017
    That awkward moment you fart in the supermarkets empty dairy section and then somebody comes that very second, sniffing and admiring the complex maturity of the Limburger cheese.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Mar 24, 2017
    {Did you ever wonder why all Yoga Studios smell the way they do?} Want to know? While lying on your back slowly bring both of your knees slowly to your chest. oops Repeat. oops. 30 or 40 people doing the same thing day in and day out. Breathe deep y'all
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Mar 25, 2017

    The First Joke Ever Recorded (1900 BC)
    Who says girls dont fart? According to University of Wolverhampton professor Paul McDonald, this ancient Sumerian one-liner is the oldest known joke in recorded history: Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husbands lap.

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Mar 28, 2017
    A broke dirty Cowboy walks into a bar and says, "Gimme whiskey." The bartender says, "I'll have to see your money first." "I'm broke, but if you give me a bottle of whiskey, I'll get up on that stage and fart Dixie!" The bartender had never seen someone fart any kind of song, so he agrees. The Cowboy drinks the whole bottle of whiskey, then staggers up on stage and the audience start applauding. Then he drops his pants and the audience start cheering even louder. Then, he proceeds to shit all over the stage, and everyone gets disgusted and leave. The bartender screams, "You said you were gonna fart Dixie! Not shit all over my stage!" And the Cowboy replies, "Hey! Even Frank Sinatra had to clear his throat before he sang!"
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  • MI
    Mitch
    Mitch
    Apr 5, 2017

    A man walks into a bar real thirsty like.

    He says, "Barkeep, gimme a beer"
    "Two Bucks" is the reply.
    "I'm broke"

    "too bad"
    "Look, if I can fart the eyes of texas, will you gimme a beer?"

    "If you can do that, I will buy you dinner too."

    Man get up on the bar top, drop his pants and proceeds to crap all over the place.

    "What the hell are you doin!?"

    "Clearing my throat"

    eeewwwwwww.......

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