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ManOfWicklow

Humor and Fun

Car And Travel Jokes

Posted Oct 8, 2013

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ManOfWicklow
ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
Oct 8, 2013


A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither one of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars -- there's nothing left! This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other."

The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely."

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune."

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Oct 8, 2013
    A trucker misses the turn-off before the low bridge and gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles.

    Finally, a police car pulls up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck huh?"

    The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Dec 4, 2015
    Theresa: Doctor, I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests is there anything you can give me.
    Doctor: Just don't try not to worry about it. You'll pass eventually.

    Theresa: But I'm the examiner.
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  • KI
    KilgoreTrout
    KilgoreTrout
    Dec 9, 2015

    Jack said to his friend Bob:  â€œI’m ready for a vacation. But this year I’m going to do it a little differently. The last few years I’ve taken your advice about where to go. Three years ago you told me to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Susan got pregnant. Then two years ago you told me to go to Italy, and Susan got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Spain, and guess what? Susan got pregnant again!” Bob asked: “So what are you going to do differently this year?” Jack replied: “This year I’m taking Susan with me.”

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