Food Jokes.

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• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. Tierney

  Feb 14, 2012

  # 2
  
  A man got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.
  
  
  
  
  

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• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. Tierney

  Feb 16, 2012

  # 3
  
  Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.
  
  
  
  

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster

  Feb 16, 2012

  #4
  
  One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

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• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. Tierney

  Feb 18, 2012

  # 5
  
  The big problem with "fast" food is that it slows down when it hits your stomach.
  And it just parks there--and lets the fat have time to get off and apply for citizenship.
  
  
  
  

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster

  Feb 18, 2012

  #6
  
  There's nothing really funny I can say about food,       Unless my wife cooks it.

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• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. Tierney

  Feb 20, 2012

  # 7
  
  Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups:
  alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
  
  

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster

  Feb 20, 2012

  #8
  
  Husband.This food is awful, you said you're good at cooking.Wife.Your hearing's bad, I didn't say cooking.

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• EA

  earlynudist

  Mar 14, 2012

  I agree!!

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• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. Tierney

  Mar 15, 2012

  CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?
  
  For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
  It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
  
  1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  
  2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  
  3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans
  
  4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  
  5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  
  CONCLUSION
  
  Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you!
  
  

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster

  Mar 15, 2012

  [quote]CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?
  
  For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
  It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
  
  1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  
  2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  
  3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans
  
  4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  
  5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  
  CONCLUSION
  
  Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you!
  
  [/quote]Muy interesante

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster

  Mar 15, 2012

  [quote] What's the secret to healthy eating?
  A:Thicker gravy.[/quote]
  
  Yes, I certainly agree on that one.   It really annoys me when I see most of the professional chefs, dishing out watery gravy.  It's nice to make it with all the natural meat juices, but there's no harm in adding thickener.
  A good thick gravy poured over your roast, and you won't have soggy veg, unlike that done with chef's water.

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster

  Jul 2, 2012

  One afternoon a Scotsman was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
  Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
  He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
  "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the  Scotsman said.
  "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
  "Bring them along," the Scotsman replied.
  Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."
  The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife  and SIX children with me!"
  "Bring them all, as well," the Scotsman answered.
  They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
  Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the Scotsman and said,  "Sir, you are too kind.. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
  The Scotsman replied, "Glad to do it.
  "You'll really love my place.
  "The grass is almost a foot high"

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster

  Sep 30, 2012

  [img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_WigxWmT65Jk/SYdV0vQ0emI/AAAAAAAAd7c/MO5gWZE_d8I/s400/wine+cartoon.jpg">

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