In a recent post under the heading "Epiphany at the urinal..." someone posted a poem they had read on the wall of a ladies restroom. There are hundreds of examples of this type of humor; in fact I believe that someone once published a book with nothing but these witty sayings. Does anyone have some examples of these to share? Please watch the vulgarity.
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- T=
Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 6, 2011But, the vulgar ones are the funny ones. This is the "Anything Goes" section.ReactReply - MA
ManOfWicklowNov 7, 2011(4)
Please flush the toilet after use, some people will eat anything with rice.This was on a toilet wall for many years before the new bar manager had it removed.ReactReply - DEDesertRatOriginal PosterNov 7, 2011Written above a urinal in a men's room.
What are you looking up here for? The joke's in your hand!ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 7, 2011Stand close it is smaller than you say it is.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 8, 2011Things to do in the bathroom stall...
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the
adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."ReactReply - DEDesertRatOriginal PosterNov 9, 2011A POEM . . .
Here I sit in stink and vapor,
some damn fool
done stole the paper.
The gang is waiting,
I mustn't linger.
Lookout a_ _ hole,
here comes my finger.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 9, 2011Ode to a pay toilet
Here I sit brokenhearted,
Paid a quarter to shit and only fartedReactReply - DEDesertRatOriginal PosterNov 10, 2011[quote]
Ode to a pay toilet
Here I sit brokenhearted,
Paid a quarter to shit and only farted
[/quote]I first heard this when it was only 10 cents.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 10, 2011[quote][quote]
Ode to a pay toilet
Here I sit brokenhearted,
Paid a quarter to shit and only farted
[/quote]I first heard this when it was only 10 cents.[/quote]Actually the first time I heard it it was a "nickel".ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowNov 13, 2011[quote]20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."
[/quote]
I've never heard anything so disgusting yet so hilarios. I was still laughing my head off, three hours after reading it.
I just have to try it one day.
(13)ReactReply - JO
JohnDec 28, 2019[quote]Ode to a pay toiletHere I sit brokenhearted,Paid a quarter to shit and only fartedI first heard this when it was only 10 cents.Actually the first time I heard it it was a "nickel".[/quote]
In the UK it's still a penny - even though the charge has increased fiftyfold since then.
One I remember from a toilet wall:
Linda likes
Cockswell Inn
Tillet
HertsReactReply - JOJohnDec 28, 2019
Oedipus - Ring your Mum.
ReactReply - DA
DavidJan 23, 2020Sign above urinal
We aim to please, you aim too please.
ReactReply - LA
Lakeman221Jan 23, 2020No matter how much you shake and dance, the last drop won't fall till you put it in your pants.
ReactReply - PTPhil TurnerJan 24, 2020
You can shake it, You can brake it, You can bang it against the wall,
But you gotta put it in your pants to make that last drop fall.ReactReply - EV
EverttJan 28, 2020Those who write on shithouse walls, roll their shit in little balls. Those who read those words of wit, eat those little balls of shit.
ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowAug 9, 2021
Written on wall above urinals. If you're reading this,you're peeing on your shoes.
ReactReply - JO
JohnAug 9, 2021I remember two things written on the bathroom wall in a coffeehouse in Berkeley back in the day. Each line was written by another person:
"Money is how people without talent keep score."
"Yeah, I don't have a job either.""Jesus Saves"
"Moses invests."And one that younger people might not get, not experiencing a world with trading stamps:
"Jesus Saves"
"Green Stamps"
"That's why he's the Great Redeemer."ReactReply - GO
Gottabenude52Sep 19, 2021On a New York urinal wall:
This a teepee
For you to peepee
Not a wigwam
To beat your tomtom.ReactReply - TC
Troy Cianaodh YoungSep 19, 2021Written above a urinal:
"What are you looking up here for? The joke is in your hand."
ReactReply - TO
TonySep 20, 2021One place that I worked at years ago, had gotten so riddled with graffiti in the restroom, that they decided to paint the walls. The day after it was reopened, it appeared for all to see,
"They paint these walls to hide my pen, but the Sh*thouse Poet strikes again!"ReactReply