Things to ponder ... — Humor and Fun on True Nudists

UKrudegirlOriginal Poster

Aug 17, 2009

· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.· Life is sexually transmitted.· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

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OC
ocmick
Aug 17, 2009
that's a "yes" on the elevator button question...no really...I swear
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ME
Member
Aug 17, 2009
A few more for Rudie's laugh a minute list: Why is there Braille on the drive up ATM? Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway? If your flight is nonstop, how do you get off the plane? Jen
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CO
Curt, or Cowboy
Aug 18, 2009
And why do expensive American cars with keyless entry door locks have braile on THEM ?
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MA
macnude
Aug 18, 2009
Thanks everybody for a good laugh. I needed that.
Grin and Bare it
Art
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CA
catbird
Aug 18, 2009
Rude,
Thanks for sharing this for entertainment.
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JA
jason
Aug 18, 2009
some of those crosswalk buttons are only there to placate you. one intersection i crossed on the way to school had one that took the same amount of time as the traffic signal sequence.
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SW
Swifthawk
Aug 18, 2009
Ponderous...reeeeeally ponderous...
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ME
Member
Aug 18, 2009
Why do women wear ONLY ONE Bra, but a PAIR of panties?
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ME
Member
Aug 19, 2009
[quote]George Carlin would be proud of you all. They're his jokes![/quote] LOL, Rabbit...one or two of mine were from Steven Wright. Another genius comedian. George Carlin's one of the best. Thank you, Rudie, for starting this thread. So nice to read something that makes us all smile instead of cringe, grimmace and put on our boxing gloves! Rabbit...left you a message on the Butt Naked thread...did you see it? Jen
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ME
Member
Oct 24, 2010
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends none of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.
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ME
Member
Oct 24, 2010
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY!
"A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it. Proof those Men have better friends!
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ME
Member
Oct 27, 2010
"In a cemetery:
"PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS
FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES."
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ME
Member
Oct 27, 2010
With all the ways (Drugs and alcohol seems to be choice of many), here are some new wrinkles:GETTING HIGH ANYWHERE[color=black]Laughing so hard your face hurts. A hot shower. A special glance. Taking a drive on a pretty road. Hearing your favorite song on the radio. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. Giggling. A good conversation. Finding a 20 dollar bill at the bottom of your suitcase. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep before you have to leave for the airport.[/color] [color=black]Making new friends or spending time with old ones. Making eye contact with a cute stranger. Holding hands with someone you care about. Knowing that somebody misses you. [/color]
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