Is approaching women rude on a clothing optional beach?

Replies

• LI

  

  LifeHappens

  Jul 13, 2010

  [quote]Hey guys, I am a newbie to all this and just curious to learn more so I can decide if this is for me.  Well I went to Gunnison Beach in NJ which is a clothing optinal beach and saw some pretty hot woman in the buff.  Is it acceptable for a nude, single dude to approach and try to start a conversation with a nude woman who is sunbathing or reading a book?  How should they go about it?  If you can pick up women on a textile beach, why not do it on a nude beach? Rick[/quote]   People go to the beach to relax and get away from the normal restrictions in life.  When you go to one of these places, the people that you are most attracted to are probably the people you should have the least contact with.  Why?  Those conversations will be the most convoluted, labored, and contrived coming from you while being the most difficult ones for the other party.  They will know your true motives right away.  Learn to talk to others first.

  ReactReply
• JA

  

  JackNeilson

  Jul 13, 2010

  [quote]Hey guys, I am a newbie to all this and just curious to learn more so I can decide if this is for me.  Well I went to Gunnison Beach in NJ which is a clothing optinal beach and saw some pretty hot woman in the buff.  Is it acceptable for a nude, single dude to approach and try to start a conversation with a nude woman who is sunbathing or reading a book?  How should they go about it?  If you can pick up women on a textile beach, why not do it on a nude beach? Rick[/quote]     Rick, you are going about this whole thing in the wrong way.  Take a deep breath, slow down and try to remember that a woman's personality and  approachability doesn't change just because she is at a nude beach. Most are there to relax not to hook up and if that is your intention you would probably have better luck somewhere else. Be friendly but not intrusive and don't expect women to be overly receptive to your advances. To interrupt a person (male or female) who is reading or sunbathing other than to perhaps say hi in passing is rude and will not be considered cool.  You seem to have a case of raging hormones which will probably subside as you get used to the sight of nude women. I would also suggest that you read the following information regarding nude beach etiquette as posted by one of our members. "http://www.truenudists.com/forum/viewthread.php?id=250/

  ReactReply
• RI

  Rick25Original Poster

  Jul 13, 2010

  Well how am I suppose to meet people if I make no intention to socialize?  The women aren't coming up to me, so somebody has to make first move.  Does being on a nude beach mean you can't try and make friends with the opposite sex?

  ReactReply
• LI

  

  LifeHappens

  Jul 13, 2010

  [quote]Well how am I suppose to meet people if I make no intention to socialize?  The women aren't coming up to me, so somebody has to make first move.  Does being on a nude beach mean you can't try and make friends with the opposite sex?[/quote]    Rick: This world is not black and white.  Rather, it is many shades of gray with very little true black or white.  There is always a proper etiquette to meeting new people whether in a nude or textile setting.  The first thing you should analyze is your intent.  If your intent is to "talk to a hot chick," then you should probably stay away.  If your intent is to make friends, what does it matter if the lady is "hot," plain, or ugly?  For that matter, why does it have to be a lady?  If you are only looking to make friends then "hot" and "sex" will never come in to the equation.  Focus on the socialization first.  Wrap your mind around the fact that nudity does not equal sex.  Learn to control yourself.  Make friends with people first.  Then, when you are at the beach with a varied group of sophisticated nudist friends and you see a lady that piques your interest, she will be more compelled to believe that you are there as a true person and will be able to have a conversation with her mind rather than her bosom.  This is, of course, assuming that the lady is single and looking.  Always respect those boundaries.

  ReactReply
• GE

  

  Gerry-4

  Jul 14, 2010

  [quote]Well how am I suppose to meet people if I make no intention to socialize?  The women aren't coming up to me, so somebody has to make first move.  Does being on a nude beach mean you can't try and make friends with the opposite sex?[/quote]   Would you do what you're thinking of at a textile beach? If not, then you shouldn't do it at a nude beach either.   Everyone wants to make friends, but not necessarily at the beach. Unless there is something that lets you know that the welcome mat has been laid out, it's better to err on the side of caution.   That said, are there any activities at your local beach that are more social in nature, like volleyball or frisbee? Maybe one of the teams needs an extra player.

  ReactReply
• NJ

  

  njmike

  Jul 14, 2010

  Rick, the advice given by LifeHappens and Gerry is very sensible and should be given some consideration.  I might add maybe strike up a conversation with a group of people first.  Let them get to know you better first, as you learn about them.  This is socializing, and you won't look like some guy who is just there to hook up with someone.
  Mike

  ReactReply
• HO

  

  hotrodder

  Jul 14, 2010

  I have been to blacks beach many times and have found that most women and men and groups are judgemental about anybody new making friends there will be hard my suggestion is to make friends here and meet them there

  ReactReply
• LI

  

  LifeHappens

  Jul 14, 2010

  [quote][quote]...[/quote] the great bullshit matrix that is everyday life...[/quote] I like that.  I think I will use it here on out.

  ReactReply
• MI

  

  mike_k56

  Jul 15, 2010

  i think approaching women anywhere can be difficult, especially in california (where im from).  the women here seem to think they deserve more than they really do.  but to get to your question, i wouldn't say its rude unless you acted like an ass about it.  its human nature for males to pursue females.  while 100% of people go to the beach to relax, it doesnt mean their instincts disappear with that relaxation.  if you got the right moves and the silver tongue then i'm sure she'll welcome your advances.  but always remember that women are complex and illogical beings.  you have to appeal to their emotions.  but i really can see how it would be difficult to stay calm when you're talking to a naked woman you've never met before.  you're young; don't listen to the old men here... they've already passed their prime and don't see things the way we do.  the very unfortunate thing about women is that the older they get the more liberated and feisty they are.  young women, on the other hand, dont seem to have a clue until they're in their 30s and beyond (there are exceptions of course).  i hope it helps to hear things from another young guy's perspective.  its kinda like apples and oranges to compare a young guy's opinion to an old guy's opinion.

  ReactReply
• LI

  

  LifeHappens

  Jul 15, 2010

  [quote]i think approaching women anywhere can be difficult, especially in california (where im from).  the women here seem to think they deserve more than they really do.  but to get to your question, i wouldn't say its rude unless you acted like an ass about it.  its human nature for males to pursue females.  while 100% of people go to the beach to relax, it doesnt mean their instincts disappear with that relaxation.  if you got the right moves and the silver tongue then i'm sure she'll welcome your advances.  but always remember that women are complex and illogical beings.  you have to appeal to their emotions.  but i really can see how it would be difficult to stay calm when you're talking to a naked woman you've never met before.  you're young; don't listen to the old men here... they've already passed their prime and don't see things the way we do.  the very unfortunate thing about women is that the older they get the more liberated and feisty they are.  young women, on the other hand, dont seem to have a clue until they're in their 30s and beyond (there are exceptions of course).  i hope it helps to hear things from another young guy's perspective.  its kinda like apples and oranges to compare a young guy's opinion to an old guy's opinion.[/quote]   I am not old. Queue mob of angry ladies in 5...4...3...2...

  ReactReply
• JC

  

  JCNudist

  Jul 15, 2010

  Mike.....I see how well all the advice your giving is working out for you...lol...still single and looking I see! I am sure you will be that way for awhile!

  ReactReply
• JA

  

  JackNeilson

  Jul 15, 2010

  [quote] I am not old. Queue mob of angry ladies in 5...4...3...2...[/quote]   I am old, male and will happily join the queue of angry ladies as they approach this arrogant young man who in his first post on TN has certainly shown his immaturity

  ReactReply
• GE

  

  Gerry-4

  Jul 15, 2010

  [quote]..the women here seem to think they deserve more than they really do.  ...  its human nature for males to pursue females.   ...  but always remember that women are complex and illogical beings... .[/quote]   One more example of why we are having so much trouble in keeping women on this site... Is it any wonder they decide to leave?

  ReactReply
• UP

  

  Upstatenude

  Jul 17, 2010

  [quote]And it also the reason us younger guys get a bad rep.  As a young single male I am constantly ignored by single women, even those that live in the same city as me (I don't have this problem in my day to day life just on this site).  I don't blame these ladies for ignoring me considering what I am sure they put up with but I do promise everyone that there are some genuine and respectful young single guys in the nudist world.   As for the topic of conversation, because single men carry a 'stigma' I say its not worth trying to start a conversation.  The people I have met at nudist beaches approached me after I gave a friendly nod/wave and a hello while going for a walk near the waters edge.  If they are open to conversation they will make it clear, if not leave them to enjoy the sun.[/quote]  I would say that is the best advice I have heard on here yet.... Just go to the beach/resort to relax, and the other people on the beach will get the idea that you are genuine and not there to pick up chicks, they might be more open to come up to you and talk.  The nudist environment is about Trust, Relaxation, and Freedom. NOT about Checking  out the opposite sex, picking up chicks, or flaunting your "goods" if people see that you are there for the "right" reasons they (in my experience) will talk to you. On the other hand, if they see you trying to pick up every woman that walk by or sitting there checking them all out... they will defiantly avoid you like a troll.  Beiung aggressive in a "relaxing" environment will probably get you nowhere.

  ReactReply
• A

  

  A

  Jul 18, 2010

  Having once been young and nude myself, going back the memory lane to those days I was (and still am) an avid contact-maker on the beaches and have taken first steps myself as well as approached by others. On most occasions. It very much depends a beach whether a contact is possible/reasonable/desirable and then of course up to an individual. Some of my best female friends I have first met at a nude or clothing optional beach. On the other hand, women tend to see through most male approaches that smell "pickupish" and have no real substance behind (though some women take all advances as pick up attempts as well).
  So very hard to say anything fundamental except always when making social contact, no matter with whom some rules apply:
  1. Thinks very carefully whom to approach and whom not. Those open to contacts are often people who actively follow what goes on around them and easily return a smile - as well as do not avoid eye contact.
  2. Be genuine - this means also that if you are a wanker and trying to hide it, u probably can't deceive anyone. Also stupid excuses or lame pickup lines are usually not appreciated.
  3. Do not rush - people do not usually like too much too soon, whether it is words, gestures or diminishing the physical distance between different individuals
  4. If a slightest sign of disinterest, back up
  5. Always easier to be inclusive than exclusive. So 1+1 contacts tend to scare some off, but if you part of bunch, inviting an individual nearby to share a game, drink, snack or some other beach activity - or approach a group of some kind (that preferably not consisting ONLY of couples) it is easier to get positive response than when going as a male to a single girl on the beach and asking to spread some tan lotion on her body.
  6. Above all, be friendly. In case there is more electricity than a friendly beach conversation/activity, it will soon or less be felt. If there is not such feeling, do not make any approaches that go beyond friendly beach cameraderie between perfect strangers.

  Biggest problem in the entire issue is that many of the males who most eager to make contacts on the beaches do it in a manner that may be rather contraproductive. In general many textile beaches seem to be somewhat easier to make new acquaintances, but on nude or c/o beaches each one has a bit different subculture and usually those where majority holidaymakers and not locals tend to be more open as people when off their daily routine usually also more interested to contact new people.
  If I need to pick up a girl, usually a nude beach or nude resort would not be my first destination to look after one....

  ReactReply
• CD

  

  Cheri Donna Dawson

  Jul 18, 2010

  How much more spamming can this poster get away with before being removed?!  Flag please

  ReactReply
• UP

  

  Upstatenude

  Jul 18, 2010

  [quote]How much more spamming can this poster get away with before being removed?!  Flag please[/quote]    My guess would be 130+ It looks like several of the groups have been flooded with the same spam... UGH... why do people do these things....and why someone that claims to be from New York....  (you don't have to answer that, I know... just don't want to accept my answer) "FLAGGED"

  ReactReply
• DI

  

  diceman

  Jul 7, 2011

  I may not be the right one to answer but I'll give it a try. If you like the nudism, you want to meet a woman who has the same interest. I feel the real problem is nudist women get hit on so often they are sick of it. They will shoot you down just for that reason! Giving you 90% less of a chance than if you met the same woman at a textile park. Look for a potential mate in the textile world that has no tan lines and other hints. This will probably serve you better.

  ReactReply