Marital/Relationship status

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Sep 15, 2015

  There are a lot of blank profiles and some with very limited info.
  
  
  All it says about that member is they could not be bothered to fill it out.
  
  
  I find blank profiles like blocked ones a bit dubious.
  
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• GS

  

  GSNPhilOriginal Poster

  Sep 15, 2015

  oh I know what you mean about profiles that are almost blank.  But I'm talking about profiles that are completely filled out with a well written "About me" and "Who I'd like to meet" sections as well and a list of interests and general written info that can give you a pretty good start to getting to know that person. But then... there's that N/A thing that leaves you wondering if they're married or single or in a relationship at all or any of the other status choices including "It's complicated".  Seems to me their relationship status is even more important than their sexual orientation. I don't give a rat's ass about that. It's their behavior in public that matters. So as long as they keep their sexual behavior in private, I don't care if they're straight, gay, bi, or asexual.  I guess I could say relationship doesn't matter either. And if they honestly believe that their relationship status is nobody's business but their own, and that may actually be what they're saying with N/A, then I can live with that. Maybe TN should add that to the relationship choices. They already have it on Income. But it just seems like a legitimate question with a one click answer on an otherwise fairly complete profile.

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• ST

  

  Steve

  Sep 16, 2015

  Everybody has their own sense of which questions are polite to pose to strangers.  I suppose some members simply don't want to share their relationship status, as others don't share weight, or sexual orientation. I don't share my income; that doesn't mean I have anything to hide, I just don't want it out there before the start of a conversation, nor published to the world at large.
  
  And consider the possibility that people might be in a relationship that's in transition or that they have not defined to each other; it could be quite disruptive to define it to the world.
  
  If there's a profile that interests you, but the relationship is N/A and you want to know, you could always ask. Better that than speculate.
  

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• GS

  

  GSNPhilOriginal Poster

  Sep 16, 2015

  [quote]consider the possibility that people might be in a relationship that's in transition or that they have not defined to each other;[/quote]I considered that. In fact that's more or less my own situation.  So I used "It's complicated" to cover it.  Seems like that would also cover practically any situation that someone would rather not disclose.... but... maybe not.
  
  "If there's a profile that interests you, but the relationship is N/A and you want to know, you could always ask. Better that than speculate." (couldn't make the quote thingy work here)
  
  No, if someone feels that info is private, I wouldn't feel right about asking. And if N/A is universally understood to mean"none of your business", then that's good enough for me.  Like I said, I would have thought that "It's complicated" should cover NOYB but, now that I think about it, that may just invite more questions. But that was the point of my original question. I just didn't know if N/A meant something or not.  So thought I'd ask rather than speculate.
  
  
  
  

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• GS

  

  GSNPhilOriginal Poster

  Sep 16, 2015

  [quote]Or N/A could mean the same here as it does universally as "not applicable." I think most would use that N/A as NOYB but it could also mean that the question the site is asking is "not applicable" to their profile for joining this site.   I think this site could have asked for more applicable info from it's members and leave it more general.  Relationship status,  income, sexual orientation ... really are N/A for joining a nudist site to share general info, advice and experiences.   All those other statuses can be share once you've become good enough friends to share that info in private, not on your profile.
  
  Our opinion, anyway.  :-)
  [/quote]
  What had me confused is why someone would pick "not applicable" instead of "It's Complicated". Granted, NOYB would be the best answer if it were available. But IMHO, "Not applicable" doesn't really mean NOYB, although it could be code for it if everybody knows and uses it that way. Thing is, nudism is a social activity. And being social is all about relationships if, for no other reason, to stay out of trouble. Like who knows who as friends and who knows who as more than friends, and so on like that. So that's why I say the relationship question is more pertinent in a nudism context than the sex orientation or income questions. Having said that, if someone wants to keep their marital or relationship status to themselves, they certainly have a right to do that. I just don't see N/A as a good way to communicate it.
  You probably can't tell that I'm rreeaalllly bored tonight lol!
  

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• FL

  

  Flokie

  Sep 16, 2015

  N/A appears by default if you didn't answer the question.  Prior to some of the recent upgrades, if you didn't answer a question then nothing showed up on your profile but these days the category is displayed with a N/A where your response would go.
  
  I didn't respond to several of the questions because they seemed irrelevant to me.  I'm here to chat and meet naturists, not date, so I don't think my sexual orientation or marital status have any bearing on any conversations I might have.  I suppose I could have answered the question regarding my educational level and whether or not I have children but no one needs to know my income and I'm certainly not sharing it with random strangers.
  
  And for the record, I'd rather see "N/A" than "it's complicated".  What does that mean?  Does it mean you have three girlfriends?  Then you are in a relationship ... it just happens to be plural.
  
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  Edit:  I just went into my profile setting to see what the choices were and noticed that Religion is yet another question I didn't answer but it doesn't show in my profile with an N/A beside it.  I found that odd.
  
  
  

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• GS

  

  GSNPhilOriginal Poster

  Sep 16, 2015

  [quote] "it's complicated".  What does that mean?  Does it mean you have three girlfriends?[/quote]I think three girlfriends would definitely get complicated lol!

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• FL

  

  Flokie

  Sep 16, 2015

  [quote][quote] "it's complicated".  What does that mean?  Does it mean you have three girlfriends?[/quote]I think three girlfriends would definitely get complicated lol![/quote]LOL ... agreed.  I've always sort of wondered what "it's complicated" could possibly mean considering that a good chunk of the people I run into on here have it as their status.  Maybe it's a more polite way of saying "it's none of your business"?

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Sep 16, 2015

  To leave Its complicated as a status is every bit as vague as N/A
  
  

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• LA

  

  Lakeman221

  Sep 16, 2015

  [quote][quote] "it's complicated".  What does that mean?  Does it mean you have three girlfriends?[/quote]I think three girlfriends would definitely get complicated lol![/quote]
  It could mean three girlfriends AND two boyfriends, LOL. Adds a little more complication to the mix.
  

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• GS

  

  GSNPhilOriginal Poster

  Sep 16, 2015

  [quote]I've always sort of wondered what "it's complicated" could possibly mean -snip-  Maybe it's a more polite way of saying "it's none of your business"?[/quote]Exactly! And that's been my point. To me, the "complicated" choice means you saw, and read, and understood all of the choices, but your situation isn't as simple as any of those, AND, (as impolite as it may be,) NOYB is what you would rather communicate and would have chosen it instead, if given the choice.
  
  But N/A means 1.) Not Applicable (nonsensical IMHO, because everyone has a marital status whether it's anybody else's business or not)  OR, -and this is most likely- means 2) "It's simple" and I didn't mean to skip it, but I didn't even see the question when I signed up.
  
  If it weren't for number "2)" up there ^^.  I would think the default should be NOYB instead of N/A.  In other words, even "Skipped question" would be a better default than N/A or NOYB.
  
  Frankly, I think certain questions are not well suited for multiple choice answers and I think "All of the above" and "None of the above" and "I don't know" and "I'm skipping this question" should be included with every multiple choice question lol!. A text box to explain ambiguous choices would be a big help too.  ;-)
  
  Edit: When I posted the original question, I didn't realize there would be such a variety of opinions on what I thought were simple answers to a relevant question.  So now I'm thinking I should go back to my profile and explain what I mean by complicated, and make sure it's not interpreted as NOYB.
  
  
  

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Sep 16, 2015

  Good idea, if anyone is interested in complications.

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• FL

  

  Flokie

  Sep 16, 2015

  [quote]I would think the default should be NOYB instead of N/A.  In other words, even "Skipped question" would be a better default than N/A or NOYB.[/quote]
  I liked the old system where unanswered questions just didn't appear in your profile because N/A seems to be causing some confusion.  For the record, I'm straight and single but I don't see it as relevant on here.  If you met me at a resort or beach you wouldn't know the answer to either question until we had socialized and, quite honestly, in the real world I don't ever recall be asked my sexual orientation.  I mean, really, who cares?????  I do occasionally get asked if I'm married but that is never part of the initial introduction so again, who cares?????  Both questions would be relevant if I were on a dating site but I'm not - I just want to meet naturists and exchange ideas.

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklow

  Sep 16, 2015

  [quote]I liked the old system where unanswered questions just didn't appear in your profile because N/A seems to be causing some confusion.  For the record, I'm straight and single but I don't see it as relevant on here.  If you met me at a resort or beach you wouldn't know the answer to either question until we had socialized and, quite honestly, in the real world I don't ever recall be asked my sexual orientation.  I mean, really, who cares?????  I do occasionally get asked if I'm married but that is never part of the initial introduction so again, who cares?????  Both questions would be relevant if I were on a dating site but I'm not - I just want to meet naturists and exchange ideas.[/quote]Excellent reply, Folklover, and one of the best posts I've read for a long time.  I just wish more people could be as honest and natural in their way of thinking.

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• AN

  

  Andrew

  Sep 18, 2015

  The use of N/A, could be laziness, or a person who does not know what to put as this is not a face to face place in the real world perhaps? I do agree with you that some forms are quite basic in what to say there. I would probably say I am single but looking. Where some folk, even on here, are single and do not want anyone else. I shall make a confession here; whenever I see "complicated" my mind does go to wondering if the person is polygamous, or in a group or a free for all sort of person, OR, they really wish they could separate/divorce from the cow they married?? . I will not be the only one who wonders. lol

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