Agist posts

Replies

• LO

  lone_hawk

  Mar 27, 2019

  Well..... No, not really....

  Being a geezer myself, I can understand why someone could feel more comfortable with people their own age. They would have more in common with the people who are in their age bracket. Personally I have what I would consider my preferred age zone, for a variety of reasons. But that doesn't mean that I would shun someone in their 20s in a nudist setting either.

  But if that 20 something didn't want to hang out with my old self I wouldn't be offended, I would just chalk it up to youth. I surely would not be offended in any way. And if they stated it up front in their profile their preferences, I would be compassionate about it and figure that they had had a bad experience.

  Again, I would not be offended by it. We all have our preferences. Life. Don't sweat the small shit or look for a reason to be offended....

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• BB

  

  Bill Bowser

  Mar 27, 2019

  I believe youre viewing this from the wrong perspective. When a bigot identifies themselves as such it is easier to avoid them. Why would you want to have anything to do with some jerk who doesnt want to have anything to do with you? You shouldnt choose to be offended by that. Its not worth it.

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Mar 27, 2019

  I tend not to discriminate against anyone.... apart from idiots.

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• ST

  

  Steve

  Mar 27, 2019

  The site is overwhelmingly older. And there is certainly a tendency - really, there is and let's not pretend otherwise - for people to seek correspondence with people younger than themselves. So, my experience on the site, being one of the older ones, is that I'm contacted mostly by people my own age, something I rather take for granted and have no reason to address in my profile.

  BUT the experience of a much younger person will be radically different. The overwhelming majority of the contacts they have will be from older people, at least some of whom will be fetishizing their youth; very few of those contacts are likely to fulfill the social needs that drew them to the site. Younger members may be more, or less, subtle in articulating the issue, but if you haven't walked in someone else's shoes, don't judge.

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• CH

  

  Christian

  Mar 27, 2019

  I am a younger person (27) and I've been on nudist sites since 18. You are correct that nudist sites are generally older. That being said, there are always different groups and types of people. If you want to associate with a particular subset, that's your prerogative. But you should also be aware that other people are a part of the site and may interact with you. That's what blocking and ignoring is for.

  My opinion on "no offense" is that it's always followed by something offensive. If it's what you believe, own it and don't try to "soften" it by putting no offense. It doesn't change the meaning in any way and just makes you seem fake. If it offends someone, then you just gotta deal with it.

  Christian

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• OL

  

  Olly

  Mar 27, 2019

  Let's do the opposite. I just hang out, show a full profile with lots of photos and say what I think in group discussions. Anyone who likes what I am is welcome as a friend. No doubt others won't even ask. And I do the same when looking for a friend.

  Incidentally, at my age, most people are younger.

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• TA

  

  Taller

  Mar 28, 2019

  My ability to claim "young nudist" is waining significantly as I careen towards 40. But, I agree with the OP for the most part. Also, know that I am attracted to and date older men. My partner is 12 years older than me, and I have friends in their late 60s.

  However, perhaps y'all can look at things from the young persons' perspective. I remember being a young nudist (where did my youth go!?), and the attention from older men can be rather offensive, frankly. As I pointed out in another post, men can be pushy, entitled, crude, assholes. So while I am perfectly happy to hang out, hook up, date, friend, and correspond with older men, some of y'all have to realize you can come on VERY strong as well. And let's also not pretend everyone has pure nudist intentions, which quickly becomes obvious from the comments made about my body and body parts. It quickly becomes obvious to the young person that you regard them as a piece of meat and not a person. I cannot even imagine what young women nudists go thru because some of y'all are REALLY thirsty and aggressive, which I imagine would be terrifying as a young woman. I see this play out in various chat rooms all the time.

  So yes, there are better ways to orient your profile to help weed out the people you want to interact with, while at the same time not saying racist, sexist, agist, homophobic things. But, in their defense, they have probably had to put up with a lot of offensive comments themselves because I know I sure have. And it sucks that the nice guys are being punished for the sins of the assholes, but I think these preference statements are a little bit of preemptive self-defense.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Mar 28, 2019

  Firmly in the grasp of middle age at 55, I find attitudes are reflected in ages. I often feel disappointed that my generation is veering towards curmudgeonry, whereas some younger people are so angst filled they carry out strange towel and shorts rituals in locker rooms. Therefore, I make a point to be authentic and transparent in my profile, which draws similar minded people to become friends across the age spectrum. In the same way, I filter out others. When I get, for example, a comment about my penis from a new, uncertified profile with no pix I dont respond at any age. Does that mean Im passing up potential lifelong friends? Perhaps, but I am willing to take that risk. Prejudice is natural; more important is choosing constructive prejudice.

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Mar 28, 2019

  The average life span of a man is 81 years, this means 0-27 is early age 28-54 is middle age and 55 to 81 old age.... depressing I know.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Mar 29, 2019

  [quote] I've found that most of the time the people who add me are blank profiles that are 50+ and who dont send me a message when adding me, leaving me very little to work with.[/quote] I relate to people my age best too! When I receive friend requests from younger uncertified people, they usually do not send a message or allow me to message without being a friend, ruling out the chance to say, hey, why do you want to be a friend? I've even gotten FR's from people with private profiles, which feels like getting a birthday card from Batman. On the other hand, I almost always accept certified profiles, and can feel justified in committing the form of discrimination known as certifiedism!

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• JO

  

  John

  Mar 30, 2019

  I tend to accept only certified members to whom I I can relate in some way. This usually excludes anybody uder about 30, being 75 myself.

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• SB

  

  Simon B

  Apr 5, 2019

  Interesting. I'm 55 and I basically say clearly on my profile that I am not interested in connecting with younger guys, I literally welcome guys from 40ish to 100 (more power to them if they're here on TN at that age!). There are reasons, though. The first obvious one (I hate hypocrisy) is that I find the mature male attractive, not the young ones. Second, I teach college. I love being with college-age students but in a completely different, professional relationship. And when I am on my time, I'd rather spend my time with mature males. That said, I'm not an asshole about it. Just my preference.

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• ME

  Member

  May 3, 2020

  Well said, this should be totally discouraged.
  We are all likeminded human beings, who want a nudist lifestyle.

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• JO

  

  Jonathan

  May 3, 2020

  I wouldn't go as far as saying I won't interact or make friends with anyone of any race, creed, colour, orientation, nationality, whatever. In terms of age, I have friends ranging from around 20 up to their 60s. But generally I find I will have most in common with those closer to my age, and the age profile of my friends reflects that. The ones further away from my age are all ones I've met, had a connection with (hobby, interest, or even just mutual friends meaning we spend more time together than we otherwise might) and so gotten to know them better. I'm happy to be friends with anyone, but there has to be an actual reason, not just "friends" for the sake of adding to a friends list.
  In terms of friend requests on here, I refuse pretty much all of them, unless they are people I have a connection with (ongoing conversations, mutual interests, etc). Random requests get deleted, it will be of little surprise that most of them come from older men with blank profiles. I have no interest in collecting "friends", even if some people seem to think that to have a conversation they first need to add me as a friend. Messaging works fine without a friend request!

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• JE

  

  Jerry

  Sep 27, 2020

  [quote]I tend not to discriminate against anyone.... apart from idiots.[/quote]
  
  My wife had someone make a button for me to wear at times, Does not work or play well with idiots.
  
  I have knots of pre-conceived notions about others. Some (many) are wrong, but some are right. Its human nature, and the fun part of life is experiencing which are which.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Sep 27, 2020

  I see all those isms - from agism to sexism and racism - as a "divide and conquer" technique. It's one of the oldest tricks in the book to get people to hate each other so you can in turn do enough to be consider an "us not them" and get your way. In the meantime, we're all losers and it's the ones off of our radar screen who eat our lunch.

  It's natural for birds of feather to flock together, but we're in the same boat and need to say no to those who push the isms to judge one another. The more I do that, the more I see how fear is driving many and courage means being willing to be vulnerable and not have all the answers. So we need to listen to one another. In terms of this website and accepting friend requests, I believe this means to:
  -say why you sent an FR
  -reply with a question when you get a blank FR
  -encourage people to put themselves out there with a profile, pix and certification, a basis for mutual interest
  -not judge based on things like age, orientation and geography
  -try to be in dialogue with different people to learn and grow

  At age 57, I see how my peers' minds are closing as their arrogance is growing. We settle in our comfort zones and make less effort to stay relevant or healthy, learning and growing. We use cultural milestones from decades ago to evaluate and discern because criteria today are confusing to us. I often feel sad to see people giving up vitality for walled in comfort and security. At the same time, I see some my age and older with as much vitality as most millennials, and then there are those millennials with all the answers who could be described as young farts.

  Of course agism can go both ways, and like most isms is fundamentally an expression of fear. And to those younger than me who don't speak my language and may express a lot confusion and anger to me, a stand in for their fathers' or grandfathers' generation, please accept my apology. I'm sorry about your college debt and inability to buy into what used to be a middle class existence with a home you could move furniture into and car you just needed to put gas into. I apologize for not accepting or understanding the new paradigms you are creating with the tools you have, whether defined by technology, sexuality or a new career option reality. You are pioneers in a new wilderness and I'm very very sorry if we are the ones shooting arrows in your back while you're dodging arrows from the future front. We need you, just like previous generations needed us, and in many ways we have failed you in our own selfishness. At times I'm amazed that you're not more bitter to us after all that's happened or not happened. And if you wish to dismiss me as an old curmudgeon, please do so. I will smile and bless you, remembering how I was your age once and knowing you will become like me, as it always was, and it's all hopefully good.

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• FO

  

  forthemonkeys

  Jun 25, 2021

  How does one get personally offended by anothers choice of who they like to socialize with? Right, wrong or indifferent, if someone doesnt want to talk to me because Im old, male, white or whatever, so what. Its not a requirement for people to befriend me because I asked them to. Not trying to be disrespectful or anything, just curious.

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