Introductions

Replies

• ME

  Member

  Dec 19, 2021

  Who do you want to strike up a conversation with? A man or a woman? Young or old? Usually it is easier to strike up a conversation with either a couple or an older man. Women will join in once they figure out that you are 'normal' and not a creep. You will also need a thick skin as there are many nasty people on the beach too - both men and women. Guys will also get really jealous if you are the life of the party talking to a bunch of women and will try to crash your party. I once had this happen but the women that I was speaking with were French and so we talked in French. The guys had no clue! Another time my G/F and I were at the beach and a guy who was in a wheelchair just wanted to be near someone and hang out - not even talk. So many people on the beach were so nasty to him and so I invited him over to join us and we all had a great afternoon. He was a really nice guy and just wanted to be around friendly and normal people - not the beach nasties!
  
  Just be friendly, outgoing, and able to talk about anything and everything and you will do fine. Whatever you do - DO NOT STARE! DO NOT CREEP!!!

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• JE

  Jesuisnu2Original Poster

  Dec 19, 2021

  Since my wife isn't into nude beaches, I always go by myself. So I get kind of bored and think it would be interesting to talk to other people. Since I'm married I'm not trying to "find a date" and don't want to come across as that. So who do I want to talk to? I guess couples, old or young.

  Thanks for the response.

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• JO

  

  John

  Dec 19, 2021

  I think that the introductions should be made on the same level as any other social engagement like a party, although it should be pointed out that some of the people you see in situations like a nude beach don't see it as a venue for social interaction. They'll be the ones pretty much ignoring the rest of the people there.

  But there are ice-breakers. If you saw that they came in a car with out-of-state plates, and you have some connection with that state, you might introduce yourself, state that connection, and ask where they were from. If they're expressing an interest in something they're seeing, like a boardsailor or a yacht off-shore, you might comment on that. Their very proximity to other people, on a beach where there's plenty of room for people who want to be alone, might be an indication that they want to socialize.

  But you should be respectful of their privacy if they wish that.

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• BB

  

  Bill Bowser

  Dec 20, 2021

  How would you do it in any other public place? - Do the same thing when nude.

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• ME

  Member

  Dec 20, 2021

  Once you start conversations, you may be surprised to find how many married men or older men who lost their spouses are in the same situation as you and want nothing more then 'normal' conversation. There are so many things to talk about - gardening, restoring old cars, home repairs, trips, etc, that you will never run out of topics to start conversations with.

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• PA

  

  Paul

  Dec 20, 2021

  I am an introvert. I prefer not to talk to people. However, when I'm out in public, I can improve my level of comfort by being the one who starts the conversation. I do this in a number of ways. One of the most successful is to ask a bizarre question that makes the other person think a bit and/or laugh.

  I was in a campground walking past a couple of guys who were sitting near their campfire. I asked, "Do you suppose it bothers the other trees when you burn their friends right in front of them?" One of them said, "YES! And that's why we do it."

  In the grocery store: "I wonder how the box of Post Raisin Bran feels about being right next to a box of Kellogg's Raisin Bran. Do you think it's ok with that?"

  In almost every case, a light-hearted conversation ensues -- lasts for two or three volleys and is over. I don't feel threatened by the possibility that they might start a conversation with me and they think I'm outgoing and gregarious.

  It doesn't always work out that well, but it's never ended in disaster.

  Maybe try something like:
  "Do you think the sun's feeling are hurt when we use sunscreen?"
  "Do you think the waves know they're about to crash and die?"
  "What do you think those seagulls are talking about?"
  "I really hate it when the seagulls get together and start taking about me."

  If the person takes the bait and responds, then go with it. If not, try someone else.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Dec 20, 2021

  [quote]I am an introvert. I prefer not to talk to people. [/quote] You come across as very engaging and hospitable (NYE party) to prefer not to talk with people.

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• PA

  

  Paul

  Dec 20, 2021

  It is a paradox.[quote]I am an introvert. I prefer not to talk to people.[/quote][quote]You come across as very engaging and hospitable (NYE party) to prefer not to talk with people.[/quote]And I recognize my need for human interaction -- even if I don't want it. I have talked with other introverts. Seem we have learned to put on an extrovert face when out in public.

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• ST

  

  Steve

  Dec 21, 2021

  As an introvert, I like mensasnem's approach! My worst problem is coming up with the right line three hours later. Usually, in the moment, I just fall back on a smile and a 'Hi!' and see if it goes anywhere from there. Occasionally I can get more creative in the spot. A few minutes of pleasant conversation is nice if that's what comes of it, and that's as much as I'm looking for.

  I find older guys to be more approachable than the younger ones, while for any female making eye contact us a good start.

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• GO

  

  Gordy57

  Dec 21, 2021

  Looks like we have something in common, my 3 best friends are Me, Myself, and I. Sometimes the wife is mixed in there, but often #4 ;-) Others only seem to come around when they want something. [quote]I am an introvert. I prefer not to talk to people. However, when I'm out in public, I can improve my level of comfort by being the one who starts the conversation. I do this in a number of ways. One of the most successful is to ask a bizarre question that makes the other person think a bit and/or laugh. I was in a campground walking past a couple of guys who were sitting near their campfire. I asked, "Do you suppose it bothers the other trees when you burn their friends right in front of them?" One of them said, "YES! And that's why we do it." In the grocery store: "I wonder how the box of Post Raisin Bran feels about being right next to a box of Kellogg's Raisin Bran. Do you think it's ok with that?" In almost every case, a light-hearted conversation ensues -- lasts for two or three volleys and is over. I don't feel threatened by the possibility that they might start a conversation with me and they think I'm outgoing and gregarious. It doesn't always work out that well, but it's never ended in disaster. Maybe try something like: "Do you think the sun's feeling are hurt when we use sunscreen?" "Do you think the waves know they're about to crash and die?" "What do you think those seagulls are talking about?" "I really hate it when the seagulls get together and start taking about me." If the person takes the bait and responds, then go with it. If not, try someone else.[/quote] In the grocery store; So you come here to get bread too ;-)

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• BB

  

  Bill Bowser

  Dec 21, 2021

  I am also an introvert, as are probably about half of us naturists. Over the years Ive discovered that I, and many other nudists, are less introverted in nude environments. Do you also feel this way? Ive often thought this would be an interesting topic for some psychologist to study.

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• PA

  

  Paul

  Dec 21, 2021

  Wow! That quickly.[quote]My worst problem is coming up with the right line three hours later.[/quote]It's usually the next day for me.

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• PA

  

  Paul

  Dec 21, 2021

  No. No. No. Can't make it about you or the other person -- that puts you in opposition.[quote]In the grocery store; So you come here to get bread too ;-)[/quote]Have to make it about something else so you're both on the same talking about this other thing. About the bread: "Do you suppose the yeast scream when they're put into the oven?" "If you take the next to last loaf, does that make the last loaf feel unwanted?" "Wouldn't it be more fun if football team names were flowers? In last night's game, the Chrysanthemums totally shredded the Alstroemerias."

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• ST

  

  Steve

  Dec 21, 2021

  Mask mandates have totally set back my supermarket small talk - it makes such a difference with half the face obscured!
  
  Like the third-person/object approach, too. I think I've done that in the past but not as deliberate strategy.
  
  And I thought I pondered these issues deeply... :-D

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• JE

  Jesuisnu2Original Poster

  Dec 21, 2021

  These are all great ideas. I go to Playalinda and Blind Creek. They both are about the same distance from me.
  I will remember this next time I go.
  Thanks to all who responded!

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• PA

  

  Paul

  Dec 21, 2021

  Exactly.[quote]Once you start conversations, you may be surprised to find how many married men or older men who lost their spouses are in the same situation as you and want nothing more then 'normal' conversation. There are so many things to talk about - gardening, restoring old cars, home repairs, trips, etc, that you will never run out of topics to start conversations with.[/quote]Flirting in the grocery store can be a lot of fun, but no real desire for it to ever make it past that.

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• ME

  Member

  Dec 22, 2021

  [quote] Flirting in the grocery store can be a lot of fun, but no real desire for it to ever make it past that.[/quote] It all depends if the person is somewhat remotely acting "NORMAL". There is a city not far from me where I swear most people should be on medication for their delusions (lithium, haldol, etc). Try to have a conversation with someone who is delusional and just makes up stories that are impossible. Try to have a conversation with someone who appears to be normal and then all of a sudden ghosts you with no explanation. Try speaking with someone who does not like what you said or how you look at them and so pulls out a gun and attempts to shoot you (or stab you). Speaking with people today is much more risky then in days gone past because so many people seem to be angry or have issues. You really need to have a thick skin to deal with this mess and so perhaps being an introvert is not such a bad thing. If all else fails, man's best friend i.e. a dog is always a great solution to avoid dealing with people.

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• PA

  

  Paul

  Dec 22, 2021

  [quote]Flirting in the grocery store can be a lot of fun, but no real desire for it to ever make it past that.[/quote][quote]It all depends if the person is somewhat remotely acting "NORMAL". There is a city not far from me where I swear most people should be on medication for their delusions (lithium, haldol, etc). Try to have a conversation with someone who is delusional and just makes up stories that are impossible. Try to have a conversation with someone who appears to be normal and then all of a sudden ghosts you with no explanation. Try speaking with someone who does not like what you said or how you look at them and so pulls out a gun and attempts to shoot you (or stab you).[/quote]No one has ever pulled a gun on me or tried to stab me, but there have been people who didn't respond well to my silly question. To which I respond. "I'm really sorry. It was just a joke," and move on. [quote]Speaking with people today is much more risky than in days gone past because so many people seem to be angry or have issues. You really need to have a thick skin to deal with this mess and so perhaps being an introvert is not such a bad thing. If all else fails, man's best friend i.e. a dog is always a great solution to avoid dealing with people.[/quote]My expectations are very low. It's difficult for the other person to be disappointing. It's just a matter of controlling the situation -- preventing other people from starting a conversation. Beat them to the punch with something wild and silly and they are certain not to approach me. But, understand, I'm otherwise not a control freak. I just don't want strangers to walk up to me and start talking.

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