The same strict rules that apply to men should be applied to couples and women — Rules for posting in here on True Nudists

njnudistjohnOriginal Poster

Jun 1, 2011

Some of the moderators seem to protect fakes and nonnudists instead of keeping this site pure.
I was suspended from chat because I dared to tell an alleged couple (nonverified of course, who said there is nothing wrong with talking about swinging and being open swingers) that this is a nudist site not a swinging site and that it is just as wrong for women or couples to make sexual advances here as it is for men.

For that I was suspended from chat. Evidently some mods enjoy having women and couples (most of which are probably men) hitting on people in chat and praise swinging. It seems to me this site has room for improvement when it comes to moderation.
Interestingly enough a couple that was challenging the same couple I did (both before and after I was muted) had nothing done to them not even muted let alone kicked out. It seems that single men even when verified and who speak in the room fairly frequently are treated lesser than non-verified couples and women who never appeared on cam and rarely type in the room. The desperation to protect fake women and couples who are merely looking for people to hit on, watch others on cam and ask to see more photos is puzzling to say the least.

The same standards applied to men should be applied to all. That would go a long way to weeding out those simply here to perv. That includes people flagging the female and couple profiles that flout the rules not just males.

Another example is that I have noticed sizable number of female profiles who have no head photos or their heads blacked out and thus the photos are of only their chest or other body parts. one such person who claims to be lesbian and only wanted to tlak to women complainted about horny men messenging her. I responded that maybe if she didn't have photos of only her breasts and crotch then maybe she would get a response from real people instead of pervs. For that I was muted and warned. I thought that shots of just the breasts or crotch alone were not allowed. For daring to say such or say that if you post such photos you invite pervs I was muted. It seems some people enjoy seeing such photos and do not want the practice ended or such people challenged.

Those tired of the antics need to flag such people, enough flagging might get the profile actually reviewed. If you are sick of pervs than you should be opposed to all pervs including female or men posing as females/couples not merely men.

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CR
CraigS
Jun 1, 2011
Hey I get you totally! I'm a member on many sites for many lifestyles and trust me there are fakes everywhere! Most people join sites for the sole purpose of snagging pics, getting their rocks off or some other freaky thing they find exotic. I've been banned for speaking my peace on other sites BUT I never waiver from my stance and within time the mod's see I'm right and they are wrong...trust me hang in there and stay on point...its a small blip in the road.
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ZH
zhaze01
Jun 1, 2011
The mods have no control over what is posted in someone's profile or in the forums. They moderate the chatrooms only, based on the behavior of the people in the chatrooms. For the most part, they all do an excellent job. Some mistakes are made, but they are few and far between.
It's okay to ask questions in the chatroom without getting too personal, but when someone is singled out, their first reaction is to defend themselves, even if they are in violation of the site rules. I don't know what happened this time, but I have seen you question people in the past, and things became aggressively confrontational on both sides. I don't know if that was your intention, but when things become uncomfortable for the majority in chat, then it should be dealt with. Please don't misinterpret this. I'm in no way "calling you out," but merely stating what I have observed.
Perhaps it would be better to simply block those that you find offensive, and quietly flag them without calling them out. This is non-confrontational, and does get results.
Zeke
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ME
Member
Jun 1, 2011
I was there, in the chat at this time. NJ's being kicked out was due to a clear violation of the chat rules. He had been warned by the moderator once. It is not NJ's place, nor any other member's place, to challenge another member in the chat. If a member has a problem, the option, and correct proceedure, is to flag that cituation for the admins to make the decision. The appropriateness of a chat discussion should be left up to the moderator's discresion. If inappropriate, the moderator will take care of it, as was done in this case. The inappropriate chat in this case was on the part of NJ, and his being kicked out of the chat was justified.
.
I just want to add one thing; though this particular moderator and I differ here and there on certain principals, I was most impressed with their handling of this situation. Once again, the mods do a helluva job.
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NJ
njnudistjohnOriginal Poster
Jun 1, 2011
[quote]I was there, in the chat at this time. NJ's being kicked out was due to a clear violation of the chat rules. He had been warned by the moderator once. It is not NJ's place, nor any other member to challenge another member in the chat. If a member has a problem, the situation is to be flagged and sent to TT1 or TT2. The appropriateness of a chat discussion should be left up to the moderator's disgression. If inappropriate, the moderator will take care of it, as was done in this case. The inappropriate chat in this case was on the part of NJ, and his being kicked out of the chat was justified. . I just want to add one thing; though this particular moderator and I differ here and there on certain principals, I was most impressed with their handling of this situation. Once again, the mods do a helluva job.[/quote] Hilarous that it is out of line to tell someone this is not a swinger site. In other words you enjoy the people who talk about swinging as long as they are a female or couple and have no problem with this site being a haven for pervs. That in turn is why so many people are driven away from this site. Many real nudists are driven away by the pervs. As long as such is tolerated many nudists who come to see what it is about will not stay.
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ME
Member
Jun 1, 2011
You forget, NJ, I was there. You and I both know, that is not the extent of your dealings with this member. This issue has nothing to do with my feelings on the sexual nature of this site, which I too bemoan; and everything to do with your behavior in the chat. Re-read the chat rules. You have a problem, flag.
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NJ
njnudistjohnOriginal Poster
Jun 1, 2011
[quote]You forget, NJ, I was there. You and I both know, that is not the extent of your dealings with this member. This issue has nothing to do with my feelings on the sexual nature of this site, which I too bemoan; and everything to do with your behavior in the chat. Re-read the chat rules. You have a problem, flag.[/quote] If you were there then you saw how this person was discussing swinging which is a chat violation. A chat violation is the job of amoderator to handle not flagging. That is why they exist. The moderator failed to do his job and allowed her to discuss swinging with the Brazilian swingers. Instead of warning the person about swinging he banned me for stating this is a nudist site not a swinger site. Jeep-er and many others said the same exact thing and even more forcefully and nothing happened to them when they said such. What i said was accurate about this site not being a swinger site.
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ME
Member
Jun 1, 2011
NJ, while I happen to agree with you in principal, your methods in dealing with them are not in agreement with site guidelines. You have made two posts here today, both of them show you to be a concerned member, hoping that the site can become less sexual. However, this one deals with an event that took place in the chat. There, you ran across a member who was taking about a subject you took to be sexual. You did not stop at telling the person that the topic was sexual and therefore not appropriate, you went on to name calling and frankly, harrassment. This is what got you kicked out, this is what broke the rules. The second post is likewise not good. I don't know if your view of child pornography is a legal one. But the person's profile name should not have been used. Again, that is what the administration is here for, and likewise, that is what the moderators are here for, to interpret the site guidelines. To maintain civility, we must all accept their interpretation. That isn't to say, we turn a blind eye, for they ask for our help, and that is where flagging comes in.
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WE
westheathen
Jun 1, 2011
Fatpizzaman, we both know why some folks are understandably reluctant to have their faces on camera. I would guess that we have a wide range of people here including some in public service who prefer to remain anonnymous (nothing wrong with that). As for banning swingers how do you know who they are untill they break cover and even if they do, nothing can be doen unless they step out of line.
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NJ
njnudistjohnOriginal Poster
Jun 1, 2011
[quote][quote][quote]You forget, NJ, I was there. You and I both know, that is not the extent of your dealings with this member. This issue has nothing to do with my feelings on the sexual nature of this site, which I too bemoan; and everything to do with your behavior in the chat. Re-read the chat rules. You have a problem, flag.[/quote] If you were there then you saw how this person was discussing swinging which is a chat violation. A chat violation is the job of amoderator to handle not flagging. That is why they exist. The moderator failed to do his job and allowed her to discuss swinging with the Brazilian swingers. Instead of warning the person about swinging he banned me for stating this is a nudist site not a swinger site. Jeep-er and many others said the same exact thing and even more forcefully and nothing happened to them when they said such. What i said was accurate about this site not being a swinger site. [/quote] Guess it's about time for the moderator to chime in here. The mod wasn't even in the room during the alleged conversation about swinging. The mod came into the room and observed repeated attacks on another member, and after numerous warnings, booted you. REGARDLESS of what you feel about another person's lifestyle outside of the chatroom, you are still required to follow the chatroom rules. And for what it's worth, quite a few women have been booted form chat, but oddly enough, they seem to learn their lesson and don't reoffend. [/quote] Since you decided to out yourself fine. you are baltantly lying here in particular your claim about not being in the room at the time sarascott and Brazilian whatever were discussing swinging. You were in the room and didn't issue me or anyone else any warning about discussing swinging. While you were in the room Beachcouple67 noted he could not stand fakes without signling out anyone and then sarascott started attacking him for calling out fakes. I stated that those who are so bent on protecting fakes are indicting themselves and beachcouple said the same thing. I was muted for that while beachcouple was not he continued his discussion. While I was muted you warned the room about challenging people who were fakes. Beachcouple67 said he didn't single out anyone as a fake he made a general comment about being sick of fakes but that sarascott getting so defensive despite not being accused first said volumes. Also while mited sarascott said they are open swingers and there is nothing wrong with seeking swingers here. At that point Brazilian soemthing said they are also swingers and started discussing it with sarascott in the room. When I was unmuted I said this is not a swinger site it is a nudist site. You kicked me out for that. Your claim you were not there as they discussed swinging is pure revisionism. People can ask beachcouple67 about it. I have never spoken to him in private or even much in the room so he has no reason to lie to people on my behalf about what transpired.
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ME
Member
Jun 1, 2011
I'm gonna throw in my 2 cents here. Why not delete the chat board completely?
Any time I have been in there, it has been mayhem, with private conversations happening all over the place and very few welcoming voices. Lots of requests for me to show my tits though! That just aint cool. Maybe the problem is rooted in the cameras being so easy to use, and the participants so willing to show swexual acts on the cam. I wont be showing anyone what happens between my legs, that is between me and my man!
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JA
JackNeilson
Jun 1, 2011
Sexual orientation is (or should be) immaterial here as this is a nudist site not a sex site. I have many friends of different orientations both in the nudist and textile worlds and I am sure many others who belong to TN have also. Unfortunately there will always be a minority who will discriminate against those of another orientation whether straight or gay, just as in the textile world. The one thing we have in common on this site is nudism/naturism and that is where our focus should be.
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NJ
njnudistjohnOriginal Poster
Jun 1, 2011
[quote]I'm gonna throw in my 2 cents here. Why not delete the chat board completely? Any time I have been in there, it has been mayhem, with private conversations happening all over the place and very few welcoming voices. Lots of requests for me to show my tits though! That just aint cool. Maybe the problem is rooted in the cameras being so easy to use, and the participants so willing to show swexual acts on the cam. I wont be showing anyone what happens between my legs, that is between me and my man![/quote] I am a little confused, your profile says male so I do not know why people are asking to see your breasts. At any rate anytime people ask to see genitals on cam you can report that to the mods. I don't watch what is going on men's cams but it was my understanding that if only body parts are shown and no faces that the person can be booted. I would expect that sexual things are going on on private cams not public viewable ones. Maybe I am naive. If chat were replaced with an IM function like yahoo messenger then it would probably cost too much and could not be free. Also some people enjoy chat those who don't like it can simply avoid it. There is no reason to take it away completely because of the bad apples.
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NJ
njnudistjohnOriginal Poster
Jun 1, 2011
[quote]Why not just ban swingers from this site and demand that everyone posts photos of their faces in their profiles? That'll clean things up a bit! :)[/quote] Do you mean ban admitted swingers by enacting a don't ask don't tell policy like the US military had towards gays? Because other than by admission it is impossible to tell. Also, do you mean only pics wiht faces can be posted no body parts? Or do you mean that every single account must have a photo and it ust show the face clearly? If the former that is already the policy body parts alone are not supposed to be posted. Not enough people flag the offenders though because many enjoy seeing parts. If the latter then it will discourage genuine people who do not want to show their faces on the net or encourage people who don't want to post their real photo to swipe a photo of someone attractive. I do not agree with forcing people to show photos but those that do should not merely show genitals. What is especially ludicrous is that people like nudebeaver show just breasts, have a nae about their crotch area and then complain about perv men writing. People who invite the pervs by flouting the rules in such manner do not deserve any pity or protection in my view. They reap what they sow.
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ME
Member
Jun 2, 2011
There is a point here, that is being muddied. NJ broke rules 4 and 5 in
the chat rules, which he agreed to comply with when he entered the
chat. He is trying to have us believe that it should be okay, because
another person was breaking the first rule and therefore that justifies
his misbehavior. It does not. This discussion centers around his being
kicked out of the chat. He was kicked out for breaking the rules. Why
he broke the rules, frankly, is irrelevent. Why NJ is having trouble
understanding that compliance with social conduct guidelines on the site
is as important as complying with any other guideline, is a bit
bewildering to me.
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NJ
njnudistjohnOriginal Poster
Jun 2, 2011
[quote]I may have missedpriorchats between the people you have mentioned. You ask why males are subjected to strict rules. Well I distinctly remember that a male member had entered the room that night with some very strong homophobic slurs against the members in the chat room. He was then kicked out. The couple you mentioned had raised concerns with the behaviour of this member, and this is what sparked you into action accusing the couple of being fake, swingers etc. That night she had not mentioned anything about swinging let alone anything suggestive towards any other member. I did continue speaking with the female member of the couple you are referring to privately, and in all honesty it was a pleasure. She did not suggest anything about swinging, or did not ask me to stand up unlike other members (both male, female and couples). Yes there probably needs to be more consistent rules (I had a picture removed, which compared to other members pics it was very tame, but I accepted it and moved on). I really think that on the night, you and your friend were out of line and can't complain about the action the moderator took. Out of all the people in the room at the time, you singled out one couple. Pretty poor form in my opinion. All for more consistent approach to all members, but please drop your case against the people you have named, as it is getting really boring to be honest with you.[/quote] You must be talking about someone else because what transpired did not happen in the evening nor did it have anything at all to do with homosexuality. The supposed couple I am referring to (sarascott) took issue with beachcouple67's general comment that he was sick of fake women and couples and openly mentioned "their" swinging (I seriously doubt it is a couple) multiple times in the room including the day I responded by saying this is not a swinger site which is what got be booted. Numerous women told me that while talking to this couple someone purporting to be the wife was commenting on their body parts and severely hitting on them which leads me to belive it is probably a single man posing as a couple. For instance one friend of mine said she was discussing how they have nude car washes and sarascott told her that she would have loved to wash her nice breasts and body instead of cars. As far as homosexuals are concerned the reason so many people have a problem might be because so many flagrantly violate the rules by hitting on others or talking about sex. Note that I did not say all but a good number do and many lie about their orientation. No less than 5 supposedly marriend men who approached me who had straight listed in their profile wound up wanting to meet a man alone. They stated they are straight but kept talking about how much they enjoy seeing male genitalia and how they would like to touch. My own sense is that they are not nudists at all but merely looking for a way to either see nude men or play with nude men. Anytime a male is on cam there might be 10 guys and only one female if that viewing them and many of the men are obviously gay because they will PM with sexual comments. The same way women do not appreciate men perving neither do most men appreciate that from gays. I have little doubt that some gays/bis even pose as women and couples in order to fool men into showing themselves nude to them. But surely most of the fake profiles are men trying to see women nude. Just look at the numer of female profiles only looking for other women. I seriously doubt that 50-60% of women who are nudists are lesbians. Most of these profiles are men who are trying to get women to talk to them and share photos with them. The irony is that most likely it is one man talking to another man both of them fooled. Not that such matters to some because I have been approached by men and asked if I have any photos of women to share with them and if so they would share with me. The genuine gay nudists here are most likely outnumbered by the gay pervs the same way genuine men in general seem to be outnumbered by the pervs and genuine females are definitely outnumbered by female profile pervs (most probably men not even women) Thus the same way men in general get a bad rap beause of pervs so too do gays. DO to the enormous number of gays who kept hitting on me I specifically put in my profile that I am not gay, bi, bi-curious etc. I thoguht this would get them to stop hitting on me. Instead It got me hate email from some and others ignored it and have hit on me anyway. That kind of thing is what puts people off. Just because we do not want to be hit on does not make us homophobes. Moreover ignoring our wishes and hitting on us anyway is just going to scare us into thinking that we can't trust many gays to behave around us.
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