Private messages in Chat

It amazes me how rude some people can be when in the chat room. People will just pop in a private message without asking and then get mad when you don't accept. Especially the ones that are just looking for sexual conversations. I had one person accuse me of not talking to him because he was black. How was i supposed to know that he was black? And what does that have to do with anything? I don't look at every profile of everyone that wants to PM! It would be nice if a person asks first in the main chat room or talk there for a bit bit so you can get to know someone before a private chat. But posting here is like preaching to the choir...