Sooo. on our last vavation we went to Caliente, which we enjoyed very much. On night after some dancing and drinking we retired to the hot tub to relax a bit before going to bed. We had met two other couples and on single guy who was nice and not pushy. We were huddled in one end of the hot tub in a circle chatting when I felt my huband let his hand rome arounf my bottom and he did gently roam around underneath. We are not swingers and on the whole I am not even into PAD for the most part, but due to the lack of inabitions brought on by alcohol and the good vibes of the night I did not give him my usual face of scorn. We hung out for a while chit chatting and then headed back to our golf cart to head back to our condo. In the golf cart I chided John for being a bad boy in the hot tub, he laughed and had no idea what I was talking about, I became embarrased and let it drop. the next morning I asked him about it and he told me it had not been him but must have been ed the single guy standigng on the otherside, I was pretty embarassed, John said it was no big deal that he would talk to Ed later that day when we saw him again. I asked him not to it would mortify me. John blew it off. Was I wrong?
Replies
- CO
Curt, or CowboyOct 15, 2010[quote]Ed probably didn't think his groping was inappropriate considering the location, Caliente, and that he most likely did not sense any resistance from Amy.[/quote] and [quote] I'm not defending or condoning Ed's actions. I'm merely stating there are a lot of blurred lines in this scenario.[/quote] Well said. So well said in fact, that I wish I'd put it that way. There's reason when a location is dropped from AANR endorsement.ReactReply - BO
BorisOct 15, 2010As said before this is a very grey area. A loving pat between parnters is ok but a groop from a stranger is a no no unless you in that sort of place for that sort of thing otherwise do as I do and keep you arms and hands in full view all the time that way you can't be blamed
ReactReply - CD
Cheri Donna DawsonOct 15, 2010Caliente is NOT an AANR resort. They do not uphold genuine nudist values and standards.
ReactReply - TE
TerryOct 15, 2010Being touched without consent is inappropriate behavior. However, bring alcohol into the mix and inhibitions tend to relax with the result being liberties being taken that would have not been normally. At our club we restrict our drinking to our campsite with each other. I have heard stories about people getting a bit too frisky at dances there was drinking and partying. One Sunday there was even a huge argument between two men because one husband had sex with another guy's girlfriend the night before after a dance.
You are not wrong to be offended and violated. Let hubby know. We've never been to Caliente, so I can't judge them. Just watch out for yourself, restrict the alcohol and know who is around you.
Terry
ReactReply - PV
Paul VoglerOct 15, 2010[quote][quote][quote][/quote] Are you really that stupid? You quite deliberately accused her of lying. It wasn't the answer to her question that was offensive, it was the accusation of lying. Get a clue.[/quote] Fatnudist, I'm a moderator in the chat room and I suggest you stop with the insults. Here, and in other posts on the forum.[/quote] To paraphrase Oregongirl, I didn't know asking a simple question was an insult. (of course, accusing the OP of lying was quite alright?)ReactReply - MEMemberOct 15, 2010
Does anyone else here have issues about discussing a situation here, on a nudist site, NOT a swingers site, about swinging ettiquette, as well as someone who put themselves in an awkward position because of THEIR choice of locations to visit AND their consumption of alcoholic beverages?
SReactReply - MEMemberOriginal PosterOct 15, 2010
I did not mean to turn this into a political debate over swinging vs nudism I know from being around both groups that kind of rhetoric is way above my pay grade, further everyone has come to the assumption that Ed eas a swinger, I don't know and I really don't care he is or is not it is moot to the point. The reason i told the story was to affirm my feelings that I should have stooped the iniatation, but because i did not I should not sit around and feel guilty about it and wanted to know if anyone else had been in my shoes before.
ReactReply - MEMemberOriginal PosterOct 15, 2010
Bruce thank you and your point is well taken.
AmyReactReply - DADanandJanetteOct 15, 2010
I have to ask. What does the acronym "PAD" mean?
ReactReply - PVPaul VoglerOct 16, 2010[quote]Fatnudist---come on. "Are you really that stupid?" Do you really think that is a simple question that is not a blatant insult? There are much better ways to politely discuss the situation. I always try to be a gentleman and I encourage you to do the same. Like I tell my kids, "Always strive to be the better man and you will never really lose."[/quote] I guess defending someone who was called a liar was not the gentlemanly thing to do in your eyes. And if you had comprehended all the posts, you would have realized I was pointing out the insulting behavior of another.ReactReply
- GB
Greg BrannanOct 16, 2010[quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][/quote] Are you really that stupid? You quite deliberately accused her of lying. It wasn't the answer to her question that was offensive, it was the accusation of lying. Get a clue.[/quote] Fatnudist, I'm a moderator in the chat room and I suggest you stop with the insults. Here, and in other posts on the forum.[/quote] Yes but your not a moderator of these forums. Why the fanfare here that you are a chat room moderator? Trying to throw your weight around where it doesn't apply? Looks like your trying to abuse the position TT1 gave you...[/quote] To identify myself as a mod is proper to do. As I can't do anything concerning forums posts, how would you think I can abuse my post? However, I CAN report abusive and insulting posts. And coming from a mod, it will likely get the admin's attention. You want to keep going with your own provocation?[/quote] Your moderator status is confined to the chat room. You have no moderator status in the forums. For the record, you interpreted the post as abusive or insulting. And this my dear man, is not a provocation, I am stating a fact. you are not a moderator in the forums, only in the chat rooms where I have had heard loads about your heavy handed tactics. So you only have licence to identify yourself as a moderator in the chat room. And for the record, don't try to intimidate me mister. You are nothing but a bully... Actually, I think I will report this to TT1. He did after all express concern about the issue of abuse of power...[/quote] Abuse of power by mods is a large part of what caused skinbook to go down in flames.ReactReply - COCurt, or CowboyOct 16, 2010
Gromit ?
Your profile photo shows up in the "random gallery" photos every now and then, WITH a ( now defunct ) vote rating, telling me it's at least a year in the gallery, yet you only joined last month ?ReactReply - MEMemberOct 16, 2010
Seems to be only one odd mod here who keeps popping up with the same ill problems and acceptance, even by the other mods. It is becoming evident that only a non true nudist mod lacking in not having the same conduct and etiquette universally seen in the other mods, who do not exhibit these same odd mod traits. Why does this one odd mod stand out? perhaps we need to do a Google search on all the mods user names and see if any of them ring up with an odd reason for being different. If anyone sees anything bad be sure to screen capture it, and send it to abuse@truenudists.com it is your responsibility to the TN website and fellow good members.
ReactReply - COCurt, or CowboyOct 16, 2010
Started out a thread on a hot tub situation, and like TOO MANY other forum threads, degenerated into a name-calling power-trip challenging bashing of chat room moderators.
Those of us who don't do the chat room are getting pretty sick of the whole thing.
GET A LIFE already !ReactReply - MEMemberOriginal PosterOct 19, 2010
Thanks for all of the good input, it is odd how a thread about hot tub etiqute turned into some kind of bizzare "Mine is bigger than yours" type of argument. And for the record John has fessed up after seeing the thread that he told Ed to do it as a joke and when I did not give him the "What for" neither one knew how to react and thats why it never went any further. I admit I was a little pissed with him, but I will forgive him as usual. I asked him what would have happened if I had played along and pretended to be into it, he said that he knew there was no way that would happen.
ReactReply - COCurt, or CowboyOct 19, 2010[quote] We've only heard ONE side of this story, and every coin has two sides. S[/quote] Based on the post immediately prior to yours, methinks we have "both sides" now. It appears to have been a bad joke that has now gotten completely out of hand.ReactReply
- ER
EricOct 21, 2010[quote] I would not let it keep you and your man from having a minor bit of "under the bubbles" fun as long as it does not become visible to others. That sort of thing helps to keep relationships fun. Clothed or not. [/quote] OR, you could be considerate of others and keep your "under the bubbles" fun reserved to an appropriate setting. The public hot tub at a nudist resort, regardless if there are other people around, is NOT the appropriate place to feel each other up. As far as the Fatnudist / Rabbitnbunny war....I think you both were out of line personally. "Are you stupid" is a pretty rough way to get your point across and, while I have a pretty thick skin, it's obvious that some people here do not, so there are other ways to say it. His comment though doesn't need a mod swooping in and issuing threats "because I'm a moderator in the chat room". If people find it out of line, or rude, flag it and let move along. Shoot Fatnudist a personal message and tell them that their messages are questionable and try to handle it in private, not turn it into a public flamefest where it's just going to get people in an uproar. For the record; I like the idea of the mods and they have cleaned up the chat room considerably. For that, I applaud their efforts! Be careful of throwing that title around though and threatening people with it. It only makes some people more angry against the idea of Mods and aggravates the situation even further. *Edited because I typed before I had coffee this morning
ReactReply - KR
kramtrohsOct 21, 2010If you do not feel ok with it, then it's not ok!!!
ReactReply - OROregongirlOct 21, 2010[quote][quote] [/quote] As far as the Fatnudist / Snugglebunny war.....[/quote] Snugglebunny never said anything to Fatnudist. Anyways...like I said it doesn't matter where you go on the internet somebody will be offended no matter what you say, its best to just let it drop, as it already had.ReactReply
- EREricOct 22, 2010[quote][quote][/quote] Fatnudist, I'm a moderator in the chat room and I suggest you stop with the insults. Here, and in other posts on the forum.[/quote][quote][quote][/quote] So let's see. Merely identifying ones self as a mod, is considered a threat? Asking someone to reign in their remarks is a threat? Interesting.[/quote] Seriously?ReactReply
- CA
CanoodlerFeb 4, 2011Wow, diplomacy and nudists clearly do not go hand in hand. People, we're here because we have something in common. Try not to tear that apart at every opportunity.
When a remark is made that is poorly considered, try to see it in the light it was cast in.
When someone apologizes for your hurt feelings, accept the apology gracefully
When someone makes a statement that COULD be taken to be insulting, do NOT multiply the mistake by overtly insulting them back.
When someone advises you to keep your posts civil, make a point of rereading your post and noting the obvious poor judgement in words. and then THANK them for their advice and inform them you will try to keep it positive. ie: "questioning her ability to make out where the arm originated might be seen as provocation. Perhaps we should take her at her word."
Just manners. It's always so much simpler when we TRY to get along.
As for a friendly pet (between partners) under the bubbles, did someone really suggest that is wrong? Wow, that could be a little uptight. Just sayin'ReactReply - OROregongirlFeb 5, 2011[quote] As for a friendly pet (between partners) under the bubbles, did someone really suggest that is wrong? Wow, that could be a little uptight. Just sayin'[/quote] In a strictly nudist environment yes, it is considered to be wrong and against social nudist etiquette. No doubt about it.ReactReply
- CDCheri Donna DawsonFeb 28, 2011
Before visiting any nudist venue for the first time, make sure you are aware of their rules/regulations for behaviour. Not all nudist clubs and resorts are welcoming of body jewelry.
ReactReply - SUsunnmaxxFeb 8, 2013It's clear that she was a bit embarrassed about not saying NO. Had she said no it would have stopped. I do hope it was her husband who was just hoping for her reaction.ReactReply