Hubbies are nudist but wives don`t approve it. Why?? Lets discuss and solve it..

Replies

• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Apr 13, 2016

  For whatever reason, a lot of the men here seem to have just decided one day they want to become naturists, or get into naturism.
  
  It's been our experience that women don't just decide one day they want to be naturists, they either have grown up with it, or discovered it with their partners then embraced it.
  
  I think a lot of people, men and women enjoy being naked at home, but would never consider themselves to be naturists, or want to be naked among others at a beach or resort.

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• ME

  Member

  Apr 14, 2016

  [quote]For whatever reason, a lot of the men here seem to have just decided one day they want to become naturists, or get into naturism.
  [/quote][quote]Stevie lorna hit the nail on the head[/quote]

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• HO

  

  HotHarleyCouple

  Apr 15, 2016

  Solve it ? What is there to solve ?You married her .I suppose every couple is different , in regards to what works for them .From our own experiences , we have been to many nude beaches and clothing optional / nude resorts as a couple , and none of them  allow in married men , without their wives being with them .Gee , why do you think that would be ?Couples normally do things together , and enjoying nudity when married, should be shared with each other .Having just the husband, trolling around the nude beaches all by himself , just creeps out most married or attached couples .Why would anyone be with someone , who did not share their own interests ?Especially something like nudity ?If ones own wife , did not approve of their wanting to be a nudist , then why ? would you ever want to pursue it with out her involvement ?If you were not totally honest with her , from the very beginning of your own relationship , the chances of you converting her at your age , is just not ever going to happen .The majority of the married men , on this site ,  without their wives , are just looking for a cheap thrill .Couples do things together !
  
  
  
  
  

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• DE

  

  DesertRat

  Apr 15, 2016

  I was born a nudist, but I really wasn't aware of it until later in life. When I wanted to enjoy time being nude I always went to a nude beach. I always invited my wife to come along and told her that she didn't need to be nude and she could enjoy the beach just like she enjoyed every other beach. This was our usual habit for quite a while until one day I looked up and saw her walking down the beach, completely nude. It seems like taking off and putting on that bathing suit for restroom breaks just got too much for her. I don't believe that I ever pushed her to give nudism a try. It happened of her own volition. That's how we solved it.

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• FU

  

  FullSun

  Apr 15, 2016

  Honesty and communication whether you were a nudist before marriage or became one later is one key. The other is not pushing and letting her make her own decision as my wife did. I would not have called myself a nudist during the first 10-15 years of our marriage but had always slept nude, did not hide or care about nudity, and had a few nudist tendencies. Later I became more open about it sunning in the backyard, not getting dressed right away, going to a few nude beaches by myself with her ok, then later going to clothing optional resorts with her but without her participation. My wife gave her blessing though she did not really understand. Later at one resort she surprised me a couple of days into the trip by going to the room and losing the swimsuit finally understanding. Now we are heading to Cypress Cove for a week in a few days!
  
  It can be done but takes time, patience, communication, understanding with no pushing and even then every relationship and person is different and not all will change their views.

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• SU

  sunnmaxx

  Apr 21, 2016

  I was lucky and my wife and I started having naked house parties when we were dating. They finally went to a resort and she loved it so I couldn't pass her up and she said yes. If your woman is not taking to the nudist lifestyle, then get her to talk to other female nudists. Invite another couple over for a short chat. Get her to read some of the women's entrees or pages. It takes a lot of communication.
  

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• ME

  Member

  Apr 22, 2016

  In HotHarleyCouple post was said "Couples normally do things together , and enjoying nudity when married, should be shared with each other. "   That really stuck out to me and couldn't agree more.  Myexdid not share my joy of nudity amongst other interest and it was an unfulfilling way to live.  Sneaking around to even dabble in those interest always brought the wrath down when found out.  God I didn't know while in that life how draining it was.
  
  My wife and I are inseparable, we share and support each other in everything in our lives and in fact she works for me. We discovered and shared home nudity together for 15 years.  Strictly at home because she had two issues with the social side. Her body issue wasn't  body faults but the way she was raised to be ultra conservative showing the body. That and she has been dogged after her whole life and thought it would be so much worse with no clothes on.
  
  I would visit clubs a few times alone as I felt so trapped by the house and backyard. That didn't work as we both don't enjoy being apart.  She saw I truly was needing the social side and get out, in short pushed through those fears.  We found a club recommended by our now close friends we met in TN. The following season we got our own place there and she has been a very active member since.
  
  Couples should meet our partners where they have a need and do whatever we can to bring happiness in their lives.  If we don't, aren't we being selfish to them ?
  
  
  

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• ME

  Member

  Apr 23, 2016

  [quote]We found a club recommended by our now close friends we met in TN. The following season we got our own place there and she has been a very active member since. [/quote]I REALLY wish there was a place to camp/stay that was clothing optional without judgement (or at least more of these places). I'd love to see the option for actively nudist spouse to participate with clothed spouse's support and participation in the getaway. Comfortable for both involved! In this situation, husband gets to be nude and social and enjoy and wife gets to be supportive while clothed and socializing and enjoying time away with spouse. If only...

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• GR

  

  Greg

  Apr 26, 2016

  [quote]I think women just see the issue, the lifestyle, and the tensions differently.[/quote]I would be interested in hearing a woman's perspective.
  

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• QC

  QCrash

  Apr 27, 2016

  @HotHarleyCoupleThat may work well for you, but there are differences in between people that actually add interest in their lives. For instance, my wife hates fishing, should I give up fishing because she doesn't like it? My wife likes to play video games, and I don't, should we divorce because of that?
  Actually, in many of the differences, we have learned to support and acknowledge the differences in talent, intelligence, initiative, and taste. I'm okay if she wants to huddle up in the bedroom alone watching a movie I have no interest, and vice versa. We're not siamese twins, we respect each others differences.
  This is something I've been suppressing for a while. It's a delicate bridge to cross and part of it is my own denial of who I was. Whether you like it or not, there are couples out there struggling with far more complicated matters. I knew someone who was--seemingly--happily married who suddenly came out transgender. I don't think he (now she) would appreciate being told she was less of a human being because she got married carrying that burden with her. I don't carry this lightly, and maybe it was my own fault for getting into the marriage without full disclosure, but at the time, I didn't think it would be part of my life and I didn't think it would be something that was this important to me.
  Maybe try some constructive advice than just saying "shoulda".

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• HO

  

  HotHarleyCouple

  Apr 27, 2016

  That was very constructive advice .The path that you are taking or have chosen is destructive and dishonest , to any relationship .Having one's own selfish mate, engaging in Nude activities or visiting  nude surroundings with other couples or other singles, at the Nude Beaches or at Nude resorts on their own , is anything but constructive to any relationship or marriage .Attempting to compare fishing or golfing or her gardening, to your own selfish fetish for being Naked around others , is just a very lame excuse for your    all about me  attitude .You are absolutely right thou , that couples do not need to be joined at the Hip or be involved in one another's hobbies.But being a Nudist  is not a Hobby , being a Nudist is not a past time , being a Nudist is a chosen Lifestyle.Our point is , that when it comes to a Lifestyle , your Life     is centred around your Marriage and your WIFE , and Respecting HER and HER views and opinions .Doing your own selfish thing , without her own involvement when she is definitely not interested in this Lifestyle , is anything but respectful to her or honest .There are millions of married couples who are involved in this Nude Lifestyle which they share TOGETHER.There are millions of Singles who are involved in the Lifestyle and do so, with no deceit and no guilt.Our point is , that when a couples is married , they are either in the Lifestyle TOGETHER as a Couple , or not at all .There is a very good reason , that Resorts are geared to Couples ONLY.Having some Husband trolling the Nude resorts and the Nude beaches without their own wives being with them , makes everyone very uncomfortable and creeps most couples out , especially the other wives .Just because you do not wish to hear the truth , does not mean that this advice is anything but Constructive.Married men without their own wives being with , who are wanting to be Naked around other married Naked couples , is nothing but Destructive  to your own marriage .Having  Respect  for your own wife and for her own wishes and for her own comfort levels , is of more greater importance , than you pursuing your own selfish  all about me  fetish .Being naked is no big deal at all.Having an honest and truthful and respectful relationship , where you both enjoy the same Lifestyle TOGETHER , is what marriage is all about .Keep your clothes on and respect your own wives wants and needs .There is a very very good reason , that married men and single men , are not allowed into the resorts , without their partner or a partner.It just Creeps out the other couples and the other wives  .You are obviously with the wrong person , as she is .
  
  
  
  
  

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• FU

  

  FullSun

  Apr 27, 2016

  I partially agree with HotHarleyCouple on this.  If your wife is against it and is not willing to discuss it then there is a problem, however if you can discuss it, get her understanding and maybe start opening her eyes then that is constructive but should still be treated with caution.  I somewhat disagree about going to clubs etc by yourself as in my case my wife goes with me sometimes and other times is too busy, has other plans etc and will even tell me to go without her so I'm not sitting around bored while she is busy.  In this situation, I've gotten to know people at the resort and they know who I am and many have met my wife so there is not an issue.
  
  I feel like HotHarelyCouple has not separated nudity with sex.  When I/we go to a resort there is absolutely nothing around sex, lust, etc involved except for the two of us in our private room if we are staying.  We call a nude visit to a resort 'ultimate relaxation' and we both understand and trust that is all it is to us.
  
  

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• QC

  QCrash

  Apr 28, 2016

  @FullSun
  Sorry, I find the comments made as being blatantly offensive and this kind of bigotry only worthy of complete dismissal. I agree they have not separated sexuality from nudity. The swingers have made acceptance more difficult, and I know people who avoid resorts (couples and singles) because of them.
  I'm glad you've found a dynamic that works for you, and my whole point was how to gently broach the subject to one's partner without alienation. My partner has really shifted over the years. Her openness has been replaced by body acceptance issues, and concerns about nudity/sexuality.
  I think my first point of order is to demonstrate that I'm not ashamed of my body, and then show more appreciation for her appearance, and that it doesn't have to be sexual. In spite of all the stereotypes of beauty, that her body is still number one to me. If we can be comfortable and appreciate each other clothes free despite our imperfections, and without it being sexual, I'm hoping to slowly bring her back to the openness we once shared.

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• FU

  

  FullSun

  Apr 28, 2016

  Oh don't get me wrong, I completely agree with your earlier post.  The only item that I partially agreed with was that if the spouse is dead set against and it leads to arguments, etc.  Maybe I wasn't clear but really what I mean is that if the wife is so against and there is no sign of letting up, no communication, and it becomes a wedge in the marriage then that is a problem.  I'd just hate to see people get a divorce over nudity if all else is good in their marriage.  Chances are there are other issues as well though.  As you say, everyone and every relationship is different.
  

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  May 3, 2016

  I swear, every time I read one of Harley's vapid ramblings, I can hear a banjo playing in the distance.

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• HO

  

  HotHarleyCouple

  May 3, 2016

  [quote]I swear, every time I read one of Harley's vapid ramblings, I can hear a banjo playing in the distance. [/quote]We are sure in your case, they are playing Deliverance!

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  May 4, 2016

  Irony

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• HO

  

  HotHarleyCouple

  May 4, 2016

  British!

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• MB

  

  mr. bill

  Jun 13, 2016

  read all 23 responses and note that communication is the key. If 1 is able to communicate here then 1 should be able to talk/listen understand spouse. Sure makes for a happy home/life !!
  

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• PA

  Papun1

  Sep 7, 2016

  [quote] To analyze this you have to take it from the textiles POV.Â
  
  As a woman, one has been toldfrom childhood onthat guys only want to see you naked to get aroused. Naked is several steps away from fully clothed and very close to sexual activity in the "making out" spectrum. There are giga-terrabytes of videos and pix on the internet to testify to that. Nude females are also physically more vulnerable. They learn that publicly nude people are either potential victims or possible perps.  Naked means the world can see your imperfections and engenders the fear of being compared and found lacking.Â
  
  Most textiled men aren't obsessed over their own looks but some of the more boorish can be heard denouncing some lovely lady because they think she's too old or too fat. This has an effect on women.Â
  
  When main stream media shows nudity it is almost always in an erotic context.Non-erotic on screen nudityis so rare that textiled men often find it erotic anyhow.
  
  Nobody teaches men that they must keep their clothing on for fear that it would compromise their virtue. While female nudity is viewedby textilesas advertising sexual availability, male nudity is viewedby textilesas sexual aggression.  That's a double whammy any textile female has to get over before accepting nudism. Should therefor not be surprising that it is far more difficult to get women into nudism than men. However, once they get over the hurdle and unlearn all the nonsense they been taught from day one, They are as enthusiastic as any of the men they are outnumbered by.
  
  
  [/quote]

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• ME

  Member

  Sep 13, 2016

  [quote]For whatever reason, a lot of the men here seem to have just decided one day they want to become naturists, or get into naturism.
  
  It's been our experience that women don't just decide one day they want to be naturists, they either have grown up with it, or discovered it with their partners then embraced it.Â
  
  I think a lot of people, men and women enjoy being naked at home, but would never consider themselves to be naturists, or want to be naked among others at a beach or resort. [/quote]

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• JS

  

  Jim Shorts

  Dec 31, 2016

  Good 'ol judgemental DumbHarleyCouple makes yet another judgmental, know it all like statement judging all married, nudist men like he is the ultimate and perfect husband.

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• WI

  

  Wil

  Feb 10, 2017

  Hello I wish that was the same with my wife and I, I do like to be naked so I pick my times maybe she will approve one day .

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• SC

  

  Scott

  Mar 2, 2017

  My wife is ok with my nudism. She is looking with me for places we can go to where I can be nude while she can remain clothed.

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