when a mate is reluctant??????

Replies

• FW

  

  Fred Williamson

  Sep 19, 2008

  My is so reluctant that she has problems going nude here in the house.  Me, imediately when I arrive home, off come all the clothing.  I so much wish I could convince her to attend a nudist facility.  She is so self concious about her body. She is from the Philippines and tells me when she was a child her parents taught school up in the moutains and the indigenous people were basically nude therefore her and one of her younger brothers would be nude with the children.  I just wish I knew what to do.

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• RE

  

  renamed_usr_776008431Original Poster

  Sep 22, 2008

  your right.  About the Vit. D.....she goes to a tanning salon but I can't as i get a rash when i do and the sun burns me up so Im kind of stuck in a pale situation.  Oh well...Ill get through it and so will all the other nudists I come across.
  Tell your wife that it is no different than being naked at home with you.  Don't think about others seeing you.  they could care less what you look like or what shows.  They are interested on what is on the  "inside'.  She will love the exper. and will want to go back too.
  Maybe a place like Woodlot would work for the first time.   Earlier this month, there was only 7 of us there.
  Tell Mrs.  that she is welcome to become a true nudist....like we are.  Show her this comp. site and the webcam and pics etc.
  Let her see my entries too,.  Ill be adding more taken at Woodlot. Camera is welcome there with respect to others.

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• ME

  Member

  Sep 23, 2008

  Hey, Hey, don't pick on the poor guy!  It took me three years before overflight control would allow the 727's to fly over where I live!  I used to be a beacon, but I'd blind the pilot and co-pilot at any less than 30,000 feet!  I'm now proud to say I'm "off-white"!
  It's hard to explain "off-white" when you are filling out a job application, they don't give you that option.  Kinda the way there is no "yes" answer to the sex question!
  j

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• SW

  Swifthawk

  Oct 12, 2008

  The thing I find that works with body concious people is patience.  Everytime you see them, tell them how beautiful you find them and every time you see them nude, more of the same....without over doing it.  When you see them you say, "God, you are so gorgous, I'm so lucky to have you." or if they comment on your looks you reply, "No, you are the good looking one in this relationship."  After awhile refer to them as , hello beautiful, gorgous, sexy.  Whatever.  After awhile they will be more accepting to be nude around you and less concious.  However, when they are nude, never, ever draw attention to their nudity, only comment in an intimate way, like a whisper or something.  By drawing attention to it out loud, it could back fire and make them more self concious, even though they look great.  Then after that, it's a small leap to social nudism.  The key is not to push it on them, but to get them to accept that they are beautiful in their own right.  Once they can accept themselves, then they may take the leap into going to the resorts and what not (lol...though I have yet to have a g/f go that far, nude around the house and that's it).  Like I said though, the key is patience, it isn't going to happen over night.  It could take months or even years, but it's still the best way to do it.  If people try to force the issue they could become resentful and may even leave you.  lol...And we don't want that. ;)
  
  That's been my experience at least, I'm currently seeing a filipina and being from the conservative culture that she's from, she was very concious.  It's taken a long time, but now she is much more relaxed about being nude with me and even talking about going to beaches (though only with me in the nud).  So, those of you with reluctant partners there's hope, it just takes patience and time is all.

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• WV

  

  wvdad2k@yahoo.com

  Oct 19, 2008

  i agree! being nude brings the real us out! i have not found too many nudist that i have to leave wondering what i did or say. although i have been nude in the home for the past five years my wife chooses not to join. we have gone to c/o resorts and lodges but she never minded being around others nude. she enjoys the company of other nudist that have come to visit us in the home. if she would lose her inhibitions i think she would enjoy it.

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• PH

  

  Philfreeeuk

  Nov 18, 2008

  [quote]And just as an aside.....I was sooooo very aware of every flaw of my body, from the cellulite to the stretch marks to the scars from numerous operations, to the flabby skin from massive weight loss.....but do you know what? Not once have I seen the perfect body at our club or any of the other clubs we have visited.....There is no perfect body, I have finally discovered that....start at being nude together at home, lock the doors pull the curtains and just enjoy each other's nakedness, build up the trust from there, perhaps you could even venture out into your backyard, make it fun pack a picnic lunch, spread a blanket down and enjoy the sunshine, gentle gentle little wee steps towards perhaps a day visit to a club close by. Just my humble thoughts but I do so hope it helps.[/quote]   do so hope it helps!!!!!! ....Jackie, that was,.......BLOODY BRILLIANT! .......well, very, very good anyway  :) hehe, If we could get more ladies like you, to post testimonials like that, it would be such a big help to an awful lot of wives, and frustrated guys. I always tell guys to try to introduce their wives to a female naturist. It's such a shame, I am convinced that 99% of the population would love naturism, if only we could get them to try it!  :(   Thanks again Jackie, nice one!   You will find more guys in the same boat here in this group.Married But Spouse Not Into it.

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• PH

  

  Philfreeeuk

  Nov 20, 2008

  Some of these body painting pics are amazing, I wonder if that could be another way to introduce a reluctant partner?  hehe, .....It could work!  :)

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• JO

  

  JohnTN

  Jan 8, 2009

  Sheri, you are very wise.  I am going to take this advice and give it to some friends that have expressed an interest, but are somewhat reluctant.  Thanks.

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• PH

  

  Philfreeeuk

  Jan 13, 2009

  This is the thread I could't find the first time :(         I thought for you chaps, I would write this quick rhyme, To help her to see, that  it IS not a crime. Perhaps she will stay, to read a short verse, Before the chance goes, in that ride in the hearse.   Ours is a short journey, too soon it will end, Try every thing once, I speak as a friend. There's a far bigger picture, than the one that you see, Trust in your mate, for he knows you can be,   Even more happy, than you are to-day, Hundreds of thousands, have now seen the way. An open mind, is a valuable thing, So give him a chance, and you'll see much within.   So this thought would never, have entered your head, And you say that you would, rather be dead? Well let me assure, that there is nothing rude, And the Naturist way, is a long way from crude.   Thousands have felt, like you do right now, Just take it slow, and you will see how, Your life can be better, you more fulfilled, Your confidence higher, I KNOW you'll be thrilled.   I guess honesty is, the number one word, And to think it disgusting, is frankly absurd. To be "at one" with nature, is magic indeed, If you never go there, your life you'll impede.   For sadly you never, will truly be free, With open eyes, you'll be amazed what you see, The feeling of freedom, is hard to describe Don't let prejudice win, don't YOU be denied.   Feel the fear and do it anyway!   You'll be Sooooooooooooo glad you did!   Trust me! ....I'm a doctor!  hehe!     Phil.     (Your resident, wise old man :)

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• NO

  

  Noblefriend

  Jan 28, 2009

  you find a new mate, right? :)

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• GA

  

  gator1

  Jan 28, 2009

  Guys and girls, there is hope.Just when I was resigned to my sweety never joining me nude in public, she took her first steps last weekend at our resort and was nude in the hot tub for a while, even had a conversation with several other folks who walked up to the tub without panicing and covering up.  She also joined me for a nude photo on the deck by the little lake which I have posted for my friends to see in my profile.  Never thought it would happen, but she's also excited about the prospect of going back to the resort.  Life is good! Just give it time, no pressure, and try to let her meet folks into the natural lifestyle to see that it doesn't have to be a sexual thing...just about the freedom to be how God made us. Gator

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• TH

  

  Thomas

  Jan 28, 2009

  [quote]Guys and girls, there is hope.Just when I was resigned to my sweety never joining me nude in public, she took her first steps last weekend at our resort and was nude in the hot tub for a while, even had a conversation with several other folks who walked up to the tub without panicing and covering up.  She also joined me for a nude photo on the deck by the little lake which I have posted for my friends to see in my profile.  Never thought it would happen, but she's also excited about the prospect of going back to the resort.  Life is good! Just give it time, no pressure, and try to let her meet folks into the natural lifestyle to see that it doesn't have to be a sexual thing...just about the freedom to be how God made us. Gator[/quote]    That is great Gator, hope she continues enjoying going to resorts.  I have only gone to Hippie Hollow, but from what you have said it sound like I should try LSR for my first trip. Thomas

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• GA

  

  gator1

  Feb 28, 2009

  We're back at Lone Star Resort here in Texas this weekend, and we've had a breakthrough.  This is our third weekend trip, and my sweet wife has finally joined in as one of "us", stripping down and sitting with the group of 20 of us or so nude.  She was actually comfortable, and we've had a great day!

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• PH

  

  Philfreeeuk

  Feb 28, 2009

  [quote]We're back at Lone Star Resort here in Texas this weekend, and we've had a breakthrough.  This is our third weekend trip, and my sweet wife has finally joined in as one of "us", stripping down and sitting with the group of 20 of us or so nude.  She was actually comfortable, and we've had a great day![/quote]  That's really fantastic news Gator, congrats to you both, thanks for telling us. I bet that has given hope to a whole lot of guys on here. Next thing we know, she'll be posting here, she could be a our very own nudist agony aunt, and have her own thread and everything! The Sky's the limit now!  hehe.   Phil

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• KO

  

  koala53

  Mar 6, 2009

  Being a divorced mature nudist male, I've been thinking of this exact question in my search for a new mate.  I've decided that I don't want to be in this situation again, so I have put my nudist interest on my profiles for regular dating sites and mention it to all my lady friends early on in any relationship.  Should we get along well, then nudist subjects are discussed and experiences gradually organised from mutual home nudism through to outdoor photography and visits to different clubs with themed interests.  This approach has worked very well and ALL my friends are aware of the lifestyle and have experienced it to a greater or lesser degree.  How wonderful this is for me------------and my friends, some of whom are even greater fans than me now-having greater opportunities for going naked when they desire it.
  I would say that through my various profiles and chats with ladies, it seems that there are a lot of ladies who would like to experience the nudist lifestyle and are only awaiting an opportunity to do so with a male companion who they trust and can depend upon to be honest and supporting.  I know that even if the individual lady and I might not move on to a permanent relationship, the idea that the nudist lifestyle exists and is still available for them----when they do find a mate, is a good feeling for me.

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• CA

  

  Canoodler

  Apr 2, 2009

  Cool Koala!
  I too, have been putting that interest, subtly, on my profiles, and making sure I at least say I'm a skinny dipper. No more surprises. Noble, I loved your solution. I was told at a resort that I should stay with my wife as all that was left for us oldies was either oversized or crazy. (I don't think so) My ex wasn't just hesitant, she let me go but judged me everytime. Don't need the hassle. Next lucky lady is going to be good with a part of me that I enjoy and would love to spread. And same for her...if she loves something, I'll give it a good try!

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• ME

  Member

  Jul 27, 2009

  As I have stated in my profile my wife gave it the old college try a few years ago.  We visited a couple of clubs and went to Wreck Beach when we visited Vancouver.  She still wears the sarong we bought there as a souvenior.  To make a long story short just today I mentioned wanting to take my two oldest boys to a beach near Saskatoon.  She said, "no way" and wished I would stop mentioning nudism at all.  We live on an acreage and I can go nude most of the time around here but I'm really missing the socializing part of nudism.  We met some really nice folks when her mind seemed to be more open to the idea.  We have four boys and I think she is worried one of them might spill the beans so to speak.  What to do?  Any feedback would be welcome.   countrynude(s)

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• IA

  

  ianlouise2

  Aug 15, 2009

  Have you asked her *why* she is worried or not interested?  Actually ask if it is the boys?  We worried our sons in elementary school would mention the weekends we spent at the resort, but they understand the inertia of prudishness in the Northeast and never mention it (I am not sure whether I am grateful or disappointed).  But TALKING to you wife about the issue and about your desire for social nudism would be a start.
  Hope this helps.
  Ian and Louise

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• VI

  Vittorio2009

  Aug 18, 2009

  My wife has always been reluctant to go nude on the beach - she has stripped off to swim when caught unprepared on a really hot day - but has never really felt comfortable with the idea. She has always said the best thing about naturist beaches was that she didn't have to worry about covering herself with a towel when changing.
  This year we took our holiday in France and went to the beach at Espiguette near Grau du Roi. We had been there on several previous occasion. One section is naturist but the two years we went there we did not venture to that section of the beach as my wife did not fancy it. Then there was the year we encountered the Mistral - a strong wind that defeated my attempts to secure our parasol. We discovered that there was a cafe with sunbeds and parasols at the beginning of the naturist section. We installed ourselves and I went nude while my wife wore her bikini. When we swam she usually removed her top because she doesn't like swimming with a halter-neck. Her normal practice is to then change into a dry bikini for sunbathing.
  Day One.
  This year we arrived at the beach after a 300 mile drive from our overnight hotel. We went straight to the cafe and hired our sunbeds and then went in for a swim with my wife wearing both parts of her bikini in case the water was cold. It wasn't! We then suncreamed, my wife put on her dry bikini and we settled down to sunbathe. From time to time she would take off her top to sunbathe on her stomach. We decided to go for a second swim. My wife took off the bikini top, hesitated, and then said "What the heck" and removed the bottom as well and walked down to the water. From that point on she swam nude but sunbathed in her bikini.
  Day Two.
  My wife swam nude but continued to wear a bikini for sunbathing. When lying on her stomach she removed her top but when lying on her back she went in for strap juggling. She doesn't like rubbing suncream on her breasts and she is very concerned about them getting burnt. On our journey she had bought some factor 30 Roc suncream for her face in a pharamacy and she had been given three small samples of their factor 60 product. She decided that the next day it would be easier to try that on her breast and go topless.
  Day Three.
  Topless for sunbathing and walking; nude for swimming.
  Day Four.
  At the beginning of the day it was a little breezy so for the first walk my wife wore her bikini top - "for warmth not modesty" but for the rest of the day she was again topless or nude for swimming.
  Day Five.
  After swimming she decided to stay nude as her skin was a little red where it was squeezed by the elastic of her bikini. To my surprise she even stayed nude for a long walk along the beach.
  Days Six, Seven and Eight.
  Nude all day but one bikini packed "in case".
  Days Nine and Ten.
  No bikini packed. My wife declares that she is now a naturist but wouldn't want to strip off in England because it's too cold! She starts talking about next time we come here and not needing to bring a bikini ....
  Many men have posted about their wives being reluctant naturists. It is just a case of patience and providing the right environment. It's only taken a little over thirty years of marriage ... My wife says this is the most relaxing holiday we've ever had.

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• ME

  Member

  Aug 18, 2009

  Excellent post, Vittorio!  See, guys?  It's all about respecting each individuals own pace and comfort level.  And the more you "push" for it, the more resistance you'll be met with...   Good on you, Vittorio and wife, for having patience and understanding for each other's wants, needs  and boundaries.   Jen

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• GE

  

  Gerry-4

  Oct 16, 2009

  [quote]How do you overcome religious convictions? Our church is very traditional, and my husband thinks nudity is lewd.[/quote]   It depends. Is he heavily involved in church affairs? Does his life revolve around church? Not to sound condescending but, does he prefer established knowledge to making up his own mind? In my case, I had already thrown off the shackles of religion before discovering naturism. But there are others here who are committed to whatever religion they practice and have been able to somehow justify that being nude is okay. For some people, religion is life itself. These may be the hardest people to change, and it may well prove impossible. For others, religion is but one part of life and can be superseded when facts contradict belief.   Edit - I'd be remiss not to mention that some people also study scripture carefully and come up with interpretations that may not reflect mainstream thinking. This does not make them any less committed to their beliefs, nor any less convinced that their religious path is a right one, or at least as right as the others that exist.

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• CO

  

  Curt, or Cowboy

  Oct 16, 2009

  [quote]How do you overcome religious convictions? Our church is very traditional, and my husband thinks nudity is lewd.[/quote]  That could be a tough one. I know that the way I was raised, merely being aware that men and women were physically different was considered a sin. Highly contradictory, I know, but as a very young child, you don't question your parents. You just accept. For me, I did question as soon as it became apparent ( noticed breasts, maybe age 4 or so ) that we ARE different, so began to question ( in my own mind ) the validity of somehow something God himself created could possibly be sinful. Of course, my parents had no answer, so suppressed as much as they could.   Genisis does refer to making aprons for themselves, because they realized they were naked. This is *generally* accepted as the justification that a lack of clothing is sinful. My take ? They knew they were naked in that they knew that God could see into their very souls, and God knew what they had done. THAT's what they were trying to hide, not their bodies !  It's my personal view that nude and naked are very different things. One *is* ( or can be ) the result of sin, or itself sinful. The other, not at all. By my view, the string bikini is much more naked ( and lewd ) than simply being unclothed, which is merely nude.  Keep in mind that you'll not convince him. He needs to come to this himself, since it is a deeply held religious belief, and not merely a social convention. Discussion, where he can ponder and come to his own, will be far more effective than anything you or I might say. Blessed are those who have questions ! ( there's a Cathoilic book by that or very similar title that justifies examining one's own beliefs ) Hope this helps !

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• PH

  

  Philfreeeuk

  Oct 16, 2009

  [quote]How do you overcome religious convictions? Our church is very traditional, and my husband thinks nudity is lewd.[/quote]  Hi Lisa, welcome to the site. You didn't say which religion you husband is, but there are a couple of Christian groups here, that might have some info on their forums, that may be of interest to you. If not, there may be others.CHRISTIAN NATURISTSChristian Nudists

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• PH

  

  Philfreeeuk

  Nov 19, 2009

  Time for a bump!   You will find more guys in the same boat hereMarried But Spouse Not Into it.

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