How do I Get My Wife To Join Me ?

Replies

• ME

  Member

  Sep 3, 2011

  Yeah, well welcome to the club.  There are many posts on this topic to check out.  My wife is def not a nudist.  She will hang out with me at home and in the pool but that is all.  She ONLY does that because I like it. She says she doesn't want to see other nude people.   So, I don't go to resorts or beaches very often at all.  I big reason besides not having her along is because there is nothing close to me anywa.  Fortunately, I have good privacy in the back yard so I hang there and in the house nude all the time.  If you ever do figure out how to get her "in" - let us all know!

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• LO

  

  LondoSun

  Sep 3, 2011

  [quote]Yeah, well welcome to the club.  There are many posts on this topic to check out.  My wife is def not a nudist.  She will hang out with me at home and in the pool but that is all.  She ONLY does that because I like it. She says she doesn't want to see other nude people.   So, I don't go to resorts or beaches very often at all.  I big reason besides not having her along is because there is nothing close to me anywa.  Fortunately, I have good privacy in the back yard so I hang there and in the house nude all the time.  If you ever do figure out how to get her "in" - let us all know![/quote]   FishNekkid. I like your post. I don't agree that your wife is not a nudist, at least by my definition. If you are happy being nude in your house, but don't want to see others nude, or be seen nude, that just means you are a private nudist. Quite a few people here like to say that you have to be naked and be seen to be a nudist. I think that is required in order to be an exhibitionist or voyeur. She does not have to see anyone or be seen by anyone. Just my opinion of the definition. It also puts no pressure on the person that feels that they are a nudist but does not want to go to a nudist location where others wil see them. If she gets naked with you in the house and the pool but does not like doing it, then maybe she is not a nudist at all. If she does enjoy it, she can call herself a private nudist, home nudist, or whatever she likes. Sorry about that diatribe.  As for how to get your wife to go nude with you...my tactic is to just be relaxed and nude when you can, especially when you are in a place that is isolated. If you go on a hike to a place that is really quiet, like a remote pond/lake, and want to get nude, do it. Just enjoy it. If nobody is around, she might strip off a little to enjoy the sun or skinny dip. I would not pressure her into going anywhere that there are other people, or other nudists. Another thing you can try is to go to a place that is clothing optional, especially if it is clothing optional only after dark. Not everyone has this option. In Steamboat Colorado, there is a place called Strawberry Park Hot Springs. During the day it is a regular hot springs. When it gets dark, it becomes clothing optional. It is perfect for after a day of skiing. Half the people going there after dark treat it as a hot tub and keep their bathing suits on (nore often college students that are not comfortable being nude with their friends). The other half go nude. If you go to a place like that during the day from time to time and enjoy it, you could go back someday at night. She can stay clothed if she wants. No problem. Just don't pressure her. Reassure her that there is no pressure at all for her to go nude. Nudism is a personal journey. It's hers to take if she wants, or hers to choose not to take. I like Strawberry Park because it is not a nudist resort. They just allow people to go nude after it gets dark. It takes the pressure off. My wife gets nude more often, but does not get nude with others around, except Strawberry Park. If we were on a private, isolated Island, I'm sure she'd be naked with me. Her comfort grows over time, so just be parient and don't pressure her.

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• CH

  

  Chuck

  Oct 2, 2011

  I could never convince my late wife to join me and never pressed it for any length of time. She knew I was a nudist and went to resorts and beaches while I was in the Navy. My wife was just never comfortable in her skin. I just know that if you keep pressing her about it she'll never consider it. I stopped trying after the first year of our marriage. Maybe in time she'll loosen up and join you.
  

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• PE

  

  peterde1

  Oct 16, 2011

  ive found some people are of a frame of mind where they see nudism to be a ultimate sin
  
  my wife is that way and is unshakable in that belief some days ago i fell asleep in a chair with my laptop in hand she took it and saw the site i had been looking at she went nuts
  
  
  
  i have no doubts that she will never understand.my problem is that i can or have to live and let live with her belief but she will not do the same with mine so i need to keep mine undercover

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• ME

  Member

  Oct 16, 2011

  Dont pressure your wife, let her make confortable and later maybe she will join you but let her decide when .

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• TX

  

  TxPopi

  Oct 19, 2011

  I agree, Dont pressure her!! For years I would joke with my wife about going to some place to be nude, and she was VERY against the whole idea!!!
  
  About 2 years ago she finnally gave in to go to a C/O B&B for our anniversary, but she was not going to be nude!! We did go for an overnight stay. We went to the pool and hung out with the others there, all nude except for her in her swim suit. After it was mostly dark she did slip off her suit and swam in the pool nude for a bit and relaxed!! She stayed covered while around others, but while we were alone she was nude with me. It can time for us to leave and she told the owners that we WOULD be back, that we REALLY enjoyed our visit!! That was her idea, as we had not discussed that subject before. We went on to our destination and both wished we had stayed at the B&B instead!!!
  
  After that get-a-way, we created a privacy area at home to be able to hang out nude which we have used a good bit....
  
  This year it was her idea to go to a Nude Resort close to us. We did go for a day visit and she was VERY relaxed laying out and in the pool floating around. She would cover her lower parts with a wrap or towel while walking around. We even went back for a 3 day weekend and we were very comfortable while there, even considering a membership there......
  
  I am nude at home as much as possible, but she is still covered with a tanktop or t-shirt, but she is seeming to be a little more comfortable as time goes on.
  
  Just be patient......

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• SU

  

  sumdude

  Nov 2, 2011

  [quote]I love the outdoors and the benefits of going nude. But my wife will not even talk about it. Any ideas?[/quote]Dang that's tough, eh.  I can empathize.  It took me 28 years to get my wife to go nudist.  The point I made that worked in MY case was that I pointed out how I have NEVER denied her ANYTHING in our entire marriage.  This realization made her wake up and be more considerate of what is important to me.  When she decided to go nude, she wondered why we hadn't done it back when we were in our prime.  Oh well.
  
  I wish you luck and hope it doesn't take you as long as it took me.  ;-)
  

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• ME

  

  Metal-Maiden

  Nov 3, 2011

  I am female and whilst I have no problems with nudity most of the time, I can understand why so many wives do.
  1. Body issues as we get older gravity sets in and many women like me have issues with their bodies.
  2. If like us you live in the UK nudist areas are few and far between and if you are trying to be nude outside of one of these areas a woman usually has clothing that takes longer to get back on.
  3. Safety is a huge factor - men & womens safety zones are a million miles apart.
  These are just 3 points and I could put a lot more, but maybe these will help you understand where we come from.

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklow

  Nov 16, 2011

  [quote]I love the outdoors and the benefits of going nude. But my wife will not even talk about it. Any ideas[/quote]Sorry I can't give you any advice, I've been trying with my wife for over 30 years. If I was a younger man, then I'd have to think about getting myself a new wife. Many women are set in their ways and just don't like change.

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• BO

  

  Bob

  Jan 10, 2012

  I too am trying to convince my wife to go. As far as body shapes go try following this link and check out image #2.http://www.rocklodge.com/gallery/gal040/index.htm

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• PL

  

  planet_george

  Jan 16, 2012

  I'm having the same dilemma with my girlfriend. She said she doesn't mind me going to a nude beach but I'm on my own. But she is very much against being nude unless it's in the bedroom with the door locked.

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklow

  Feb 16, 2012

  My wife is so afraid of nudity, she feels naked after taking her gloves off.
  
  18

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• NU

  

  nudony

  Feb 16, 2012

  [quote]I like the idea of making an appointment. I think I will give this a try, there is a club not too far out of Seattle. IF she will agree to go is the first step.[/quote] That's how I handled my first time.  It was planned way ahead of time.  Since my wife was a bit mortified by the idea of being openly seen nude, I reached an agreement with her: we'd go on a slow weekday, we'd leave whenever she was ready, and she wouldn't have to go nude.  That level of compromise made it more difficult for her to say no.  So I called the resort, essentially asking for permission for my wife to remain dressed.  The resort manager had no problem with it.  So we took a weekday off, and headed out on a spring morning.

  • We arrived at the resort and parked, and I immediately disrobed completely.  I think that defused some of my wife's nervousness, as she opted to come out of her tank top and shorts, and at least change into the summer dress she had brought along.  We registered and went for a stroll.  There were maybe 2-3 people in the entire resort, quite a distance from us.  The first stop was the sauna room, which was completely enclosed; so she felt comfortable and hidden enough to remove her dress there.  When we exited, there was still no one around, so she opted to leave her dress unfastened and air-dry.  We continued touring the premises, and arrived by the hot tub.  She couldn't wait to get in, tossed her dress on a hanger and got in the tub.  We sat in there for a few minutes. chatting, and as we exited the tub to get to the towels, the "unthinkable" happened: a visitor walked in.  And he knew me from college.  I was a bit concerned as I could see my wife squirming and trying to hide behind me as my classmate approached us.  But as we talked and started discussing nudism, college, and professional opportunities, my wife started becoming engaged in the conversation and started relaxing; first emerging from behind me, and then standing right besides me.  When my classmate took his leave and said bye, I thought for sure my wife'd be done with the day - and done with nudism; especially as she put her dress on and requested we return to the car.  When we got back and I opened the trunk, I was in for a bit of a surprise; as I shut the trunk and started reaching for my clothes, I saw her standing across from me with just her tank top on!  She didn't want to leave, she just wanted to change into something a little less "covered"!  Evidently, being actually seen nude by someone else - and experiencing the harmlessness of it -  had sort of "defused" the fear of it.  So a properly prepared trial run turned into my public nudity-phobic wife walking around with just a t-top on.
  • Now it's easy to say: "If my wife could do it, so can yours."  But I believe with some careful and methodical preparation, it can be true.  I can tell you that my wife had no intention of being even remotely undressed when she walked into that resort that morning.None.  By the time we actually left, she was standing by the car completely nude, talking to the resort manager and telling him that she'd like to come back.  It can happen.

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• CD

  

  Cheri Donna Dawson

  Mar 26, 2012

  [quote]I love the outdoors and the benefits of going nude. But my wife will not even talk about it. Any ideas?[/quote]I can recommend getting a copy of my brochure for reluctant partners (online at www.travelites.info/brochure.hmtl or I can email it to you). Leave it where she'll see it; don't just hand it to her. When you're sure she's taken a look at it. Ask her if she'll accept a compromise. In exchange for an hr. of her time accompanying you, offer her something she'd really like especially if she knows you would prefer to not. Perhaps you cooking dinner, a special dinner out, a shopping trip, her choice of tv show or movie, something in your budget. Let her know that she can wear a long tshirt or pareo (sarong) except if she decides to enjoy the hot tub or pool. There are clubs out there that allow this especially for first timers.
  
  Be nude as often as possible at home to possibly get her used to it.
  
  Three more things: be patient, be patient, be patient. Nudism is not for everyone.
  
  
  
  

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• GR

  

  Grant

  Apr 30, 2012

  In my case it has been a hopeless issue twice. First marriage, she is a doctor of medicin and we went camping during our marriage, but nudism was not on, strictly. Second time marriage, was even worse, like from the frying pan into the fire. Less tolerance towards nudism and made me feel, as if I was a sexual offender. It was never possible to encourage nudism to any of them, however, I did persist to be the naturist hereafter.
  

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• JA

  

  jaybirds

  May 5, 2012

  Wise words, Andy!
  
  When Cynthia and I were dating, after about the 3rd or 4th date, I finally brought up the fact that I was a naturist, and we discussed the whole philosophy and practice, my experience, and that if she was open to try it, she might like it also. To her credit, and one of the reasons I eventually asked her to marry me, she was open to trying it. I took her up to the clothing-optional club where I was a member at the time, Elysium, and after about 5 min. she opted out of her clothes, and we’ve never looked back since.
  
  As Cheri said previously, nudism is not for everyone. Generations of societal, religious, and peer pressure reinforcing a negative body image and body shame, especially for women, can be a force that is difficult for many to overcome. The key is communication, openness, and patience on both partner’s parts. Like Andy said, I could never imagine being with anyone who could not at least discuss it, and even if they were not open to participating, would try and prevent me from enjoying something so natural, so relaxing and liberating, and something so deeply ingrained in my being.

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• AN

  

  Andz

  May 18, 2012

  [quote]I can't imagine being married to someone that you can not talk to about everything.  How can someone sleep with someone, share a life together and have issues with seeing that person naked, not want to discuss intimate details of their lives, talk openly about our feelings and desires, our hopes, fears, concerns ...     ...  The point is ... ya gotta talk ... about everything.  If they don't wanna talk about everything, what's the point in being married to someone!??
  [/quote]Indeed, Andy.  That's what it takes in a healthy marriage.  My advice to young people is this:  Test out a soul mate and your capability of agreeing on a perspective -- his/her stance on nudism, participation therein him/herself, sincerity, fidelity, trustworthiness (not abusing it for his/her own fetishes), reliability (to talk about desires, feelings, hopes, dreams, concerns), destiny to be a good friend/spouse/parent, and good spiritual influence in your life -- therefore being sure it's the right spouse, before ever going steady or promising "We'll be together forever!"  Once a commitment has been made, it must be honored!  Marriage cannot necessarily flip a switch, so I wouldn't advise marrying with the hope of changing a spouse's mind.  I recommend getting the right spouse to begin with.
  The advise everyone gives about "be patient and don't pressure" is the way to go; I couldn't have said it better myself.  For those who become nudist socially after already getting married, what else can you do but that?  If you're not married and your soul mate comes around to agree, that might become the spouse; otherwise, someone else be the spouse.  Either way, I would never recommend waiting until it's too late!  I will likely not have to deal with that in marriage as long as I don't wait that late....
  
  

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• ME

  Member

  Jul 5, 2012

  My first wife was the type that being nude was the mortal sin. she would just about get dressed to take a bath. So when I remarried it never even crossed my mind to ask her about going to a nude beach or anything like that. It totally blew me away when she asked me if I would like to go to one. I had gone skinny dipping a number of times when I was younger & was stationed in Germany. But this was the first time a woman had ever asked me to go. But all that to say this. It all depends on the woman some love being nude & others never will.
  

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• SE

  secludedcpl

  Sep 28, 2012

  My wife and I were vacationing in the Sunny Isles area of Florida.  One day while walking on the beach we found Haulover beach.  That evening we talked about it and she was very reluctant to consider our going nude.  The next day we walked to Haulover again and I told her I would like to try nudity.  She agreed and took off her top.  I got naked.  We stayed a couple of hours, then went back the next day.  She removed her bottom and top without hesitation.We vacationed to Haulover a couple of times, enjoying it more each time.  This year I spoke to her about trying a naturist resort.  We did (Cedar Trails) and we both loved it, attending there several times.  We now consider ourselves True Nudists!We openly discuss our feelings and experiences. That may be the most important thing you can do to bring a reluctant spouse around.

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• BO

  

  Bob

  Sep 29, 2012

  FeelinFree, you know of some videos on Naturism? Please share the titles and where one might purchase them.
  
  Thanks
  Bob
  

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• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. Tierney

  Sep 29, 2012

  Go to Amazon.com type the word nudism into their search bar.
  

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• WO

  

  womannudista

  Dec 8, 2012

  It seems to me that if perhaps you start to get that at home I was naked and acostumbrara to do this, she gradually is used
  For starters it is well!
  
  Me parece que si quizá empezaras a conseguir que en casa estuviera desnuda y se acostumbrara a ello, ella poco a poco se acostumbraría
  ¡Para empezar está bien!
  
  

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• CD

  

  Cheri Donna Dawson

  Dec 9, 2012

  Be patient x3.  A single gentleman at my club married a long time non-nudist friend (I performed the ceremony).  6 years later, she finally attended an event yesterday although she didn't disrobe, but that's okay.   Perhaps in the summer if she wants to get into our pool.

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• ME

  Member

  Dec 10, 2012

  You might like to read the short stories on www.netnude.com.  The first one is about a couple just starting out with social nudism and how both have their difficulties with it.  "Assault at Sunrise" is the beginning of a few stories about the same people.  Although fiction I think the situations could be very real.  The stories are located under the "Information" link on the home page side-bar.
  Cantrade
  

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