I've read several posts in the forums about friends requests and wanted to poll the membership about your opinions and to learn how other people handle them. I have only initiated one friend request myself and wasn't added by the person so maybe she didn't feel I was her fiendship type or perhaps she hasn't signed on since I made the request. But that is beside the point. Once I received "True Nudist" status, I received a number of friends requests. Since I'm new I decided to just pretty much take people at face value which is how I hope others take me. So if I get a request I approve it and add them. The majority of the photos I post are categorized as "Friends Only" so perhaps some people ask me to add them just out of curiosity. But I suppose I will add anyone who asks and if something should develop as time goes on that makes me feel it isn't someone I'm really compatible with as far as a friend then I'll delete them. But what do you do? Especially those who have been on the site for a while. Are you more discriminating when it comes to approving friends requests? If so, what method do you use to decide on who to add and who to deny? Just curious.
Replies
- UK
UKrudegirlMar 13, 2009[quote]I've read several posts in the forums about friends requests and wanted to poll the membership about your opinions and to learn how other people handle them. I have only initiated one friend request myself and wasn't added by the person so maybe she didn't feel I was her fiendship type or perhaps she hasn't signed on since I made the request. But that is beside the point. Once I received "True Nudist" status, I received a number of friends requests. Since I'm new I decided to just pretty much take people at face value which is how I hope others take me. So if I get a request I approve it and add them. The majority of the photos I post are categorized as "Friends Only" so perhaps some people ask me to add them just out of curiosity. But I suppose I will add anyone who asks and if something should develop as time goes on that makes me feel it isn't someone I'm really compatible with as far as a friend then I'll delete them. But what do you do? Especially those who have been on the site for a while. Are you more discriminating when it comes to approving friends requests? If so, what method do you use to decide on who to add and who to deny? Just curious.[/quote] No real method to be honest. We are a friendly and fairly open sort of couple so requests to be added to our friends list are usually successful ... however ... inclusion on the list does not automatically entitle folk to demand our off site email, our phone number, our address etc., a point that some folk seem to miss - not just on this site either. Love n stuff Rudie xReactReply - TH
ThomasMar 14, 2009I tend to accept most friend requests, the ones I don't have just a genital shot for profile, a private profile with no prior contact. I have also removed people from my friends list based on their actions in chat or in messages.
ReactReply - PH
PhilfreeeukMar 14, 2009Well, my deliberate, slightly acidic profile has worked, in as much as I'm not bothered too much by unwanted friend requests, but, I now think I'm going to have to rethink my philosophy, on my friend acceptance criteria. Wow, that sounds a bit serious. What I mean is, so far, I have only accepted friends that I have conversed with, I feel that I should know ALL of them, and not just collect hundreds of profiles that I will never get to speak to, and in turn, become a piece of meat or a statistic for someone else's list. I also think that EVERYONE should set their pics to "truenudist only" and if you're a bit shy, you could also set some to friends only. That would make it much less attractive to the pervs and more fun and interesting for us truenudists. BUT, what seems to be happening, is that a lot of people are setting their profiles to private, or at least setting pics to friends only, so even though I am finally a certified truenudist, it's a bit like visiting a club and having to wear a blindfold. Not my idea of social nudity at all. So, as I should probably "chill out" a bit anyway, I'm going to have to start sending and accepting requests just so that I can get to see, IF someone is a potential friend or not. My friends list will NOW become my ACQUAINTANCE list. If they are potential friends, fine, and if not, I'll have to delete them. If they DO become friends, i.e. we actually converse on occasion, and seem to click, I will promote them to my "BEST FRIENDS" list, which is on my blog, so that I can find them quickly. It's a shame, if only certification were more thorough, and everyone would used the privacy settings as they were intended, this would not be necessary. I also think (unlike some have stated) that you should NOT, have to have frequent communication with friends. In MY book, a friend is someone who is always there in the background, who may or may not chat often, but is ALWAYS there if you need them. For me, that is especially true on here, where there are so many, that frequent communication is just not practical. So Edith the lesson for today! hehe. all donations are VERY welcome and should be sent to, ....... Phil.
ps. Rudie, love your sense of humour, very much enjoyed reading your profile, will send FR asap :)ReactReply - NUnuderunrOriginal PosterMar 14, 2009[quote]Well, my deliberate, slightly acidic profile has worked, in as much as I'm not bothered too much by unwanted friend requests, but, I now think I'm going to have to rethink my philosophy, on my friend acceptance criteria. Wow, that sounds a bit serious. What I mean is, so far, I have only accepted friends that I have conversed with, I feel that I should know ALL of them, and not just collect hundreds of profiles that I will never get to speak to, and in turn, become a piece of meat or a statistic for someone else's list. I also think that EVERYONE should set their pics to "truenudist only" and if you're a bit shy, you could also set some to friends only. That would make it much less attractive to the pervs and more fun and interesting for us truenudists. BUT, what seems to be happening, is that a lot of people are setting their profiles to private, or at least setting pics to friends only, so even though I am finally a certified truenudist, it's a bit like visiting a club and having to wear a blindfold. Not my idea of social nudity at all. So, as I should probably "chill out" a bit anyway, I'm going to have to start sending and accepting requests just so that I can get to see, IF someone is a potential friend or not. My friends list will NOW become my ACQUAINTANCE list. If they are potential friends, fine, and if not, I'll have to delete them. If they DO become friends, i.e. we actually converse on occasion, and seem to click, I will promote them to my "BEST FRIENDS" list, which is on my blog, so that I can find them quickly. It's a shame, if only certification were more thorough, and everyone would used the privacy settings as they were intended, this would not be necessary. I also think (unlike some have stated) that you should NOT, have to have frequent communication with friends. In MY book, a friend is someone who is always there in the background, who may or may not chat often, but is ALWAYS there if you need them. For me, that is especially true on here, where there are so many, that frequent communication is just not practical. So Edith the lesson for today! hehe. all donations are VERY welcome and should be sent to, ....... Phil.ps. Rudie, love your sense of humour, very much enjoyed reading your profile, will send FR asap :)[/quote]
Phil,
Thanks for the on spot insight which I found very helpful. Being new, I did set my photos for friends only but what you said makes perfect sense so I have now set them to "truenudist" as you suggested. That does make more sense and seems more in keeping with the intent of the site.ReactReply
- MI
Miss_LindaDec 13, 2009I like to see a face in the profile picture. I automatically turn down people whose profile pic is a rear end facing the camera. A filled out profile helps and certification was considered a big plus in my book until someone explained on the forum how it could be cheated.
ReactReply - CA
catbirdDec 13, 2009A face shows him/her as a real person with personality. I pictures of just a body doesn't show this.
ReactReply - PHPhilfreeeukDec 20, 2009Time for a bump!ReactReply
- PHPhilfreeeukJan 5, 2010[quote]And another bump[/quote] and again!ReactReply
- JO
JoeyJan 5, 2010There are a variety of sites that have "friend" functions. From Facebook to AOL & Yahoo to dating sites to specific interest sites like this. Unfortunately many people seem to (ab)use friend requests to simply gain status on that site or spam users.
My goal on sites is to find people for networking who share something in common (nudist, people of color, central FL resident, etc.) and perhaps find one special person to spend time with (i.e.; dating). So if I receive a seemingly blind request I look at what the person has in their profile, who their friends are, how MANY friends they have, what groups they are a part of and any posts they may have made in the group.s. If I don't see a clear commonality I frequently reject the request without further action. Sometimes I'll at least write the person and see what type of conversation, if any, I get back and basically ask why they were interested in "friending" me.
When making friend requests I look for people based on the above criteria. Unless it's someone I know or the person expresses an interest making "friends" with people sharing a particular interest I usually don't send a blind friend request. In cases like this I usually will send a seperate message first (or if they system's friend request function provides, a message in the request) to guage their interest.
I usually am turned off by people who have hundreds or thousands of "friends". But on Facebook I have friended people who might not be a good match for me if they have a lot of mutual friends or their friends may have more in common. (I found an old classmate once on Facebook through accepting a friend request of another classmate who wasn't necessarily someone I knew that well. He didn't have our old school in his profile, lived in another state, didn't have a picture and was even going by his middle name instead of his first name. Only by friending the other person were we able to find each other.)ReactReply - PHPhilfreeeukJan 5, 2010Having now accrued 15 months worth of hindsight, (how time fly's when your having fun :) I would also point out that as you can only see the last 20 friends that have recently logged on, on your "My Account" page, by keeping your list as small as possible, you can better see, which of your good friends, have been active, instead of a whole load of people you don't really know. It's also worth repeating, that a quick look a someone's friends, and groups lists, can give you an idea of if you really want to get to know them.ReactReply
- BL
blueiron35Jan 5, 2010I agree whole heartedly. Dont be in too big a hurry to make friends. As you post here and read others posts you will get a feel for those who are in line with your thinking. A small selective list helps to keep the communication easier between friends. I try to talk to my friends on a regular basis and just see whats going on. I dont do a very good job sometimes but if I had a list of 200 people then I would never be able to talk with everyone.
ReactReply - RIricksbareJan 6, 2010If I get a friends request I look at the persons profile and pictures. If I like their profile I'll accept them as a friend but they have to have pictures. If they are certified it's even easier to make a decision. I joined to make friends but I find that very few people chat or return messages if I send one. I guess I just don't have the charm needed to make friends.ReactReply
- PHPhilfreeeukJan 6, 2010[quote]thanks for the welcomes. i would be cautious, and i can see that maybe if someone i accept as a friend never bothers to reply to my messages or interact with me in any way, theres no point keeping them on the list.[/quote] Hi, and welcome to the site. There is now a lot of info here on the forums, go here to learn your way around and get up to speed. It's well worth investing a little time in learning how the site works, in order to get the best out of it.WELCOME! ..... to TN :) :) :) .....START HERE!ps. I don't know what COG's are either, what is it NudeIn? pps. he's always doing that! it's giving me an inferiority complex!
ReactReply - CAcatbirdJan 8, 2010[quote][quote]If I get a friends request I look at the persons profile and pictures. If I like their profile I'll accept them as a friend but they have to have pictures. If they are certified it's even easier to make a decision. I joined to make friends but I find that very few people chat or return messages if I send one. I guess I just don't have the charm needed to make friends.[/quote] How can you look at their profiles. i dont have the time to do that, when i joined i got like 100 friendrequests! when i get some time i'll look through it but it helps to send a message! If Iv chatted with someone in the chat its easier![/quote] Some True Nudists want a message first, before they would even consider you as a friend.ReactReply
- JO
JohnJan 8, 2010I'm with TexasBiker. I'm easy.
I've been pretty selective with whom I've submitted friend requests too, but I will accept any friend requests coming my way. This is after all a social web site, so how could I turn down the opportunity to meet some really cool people?ReactReply - PHPhilfreeeukJan 26, 2010See also:How to manage friend requests that have accumulatedReactReply
- GA
gator1Jan 26, 2010[quote]I'm with TexasBiker. I'm easy.I've been pretty selective with whom I've submitted friend requests too, but I will accept any friend requests coming my way. This is after all a social web site, so how could I turn down the opportunity to meet some really cool people?[/quote]
I like to see a note, so that I can be comfortable they're not just wanting to look at my gorgeous self in the pics!
Gator1ReactReply - MEMemberJan 26, 2010[quote][quote]I'm with TexasBiker. I'm easy.I've been pretty selective with whom I've submitted friend requests too, but I will accept any friend requests coming my way. This is after all a social web site, so how could I turn down the opportunity to meet some really cool people?[/quote]
I like to see a note, so that I can be comfortable they're not just wanting to look at my gorgeous self in the pics!Gator1[/quote]
Aw, Gator... my note fooled you then! Gorgeous Gator and his sweet wife!JenReactReply
- ST
SteveJan 29, 2010Not sure that detailing the finer points of our selection criteria for accepting friend requests would be that helpful and besides, many of our criteria match those already mentioned by others.I would be more interested in hearing if and how people say "thanks but no thanks". Personally, we don't like to just hit deny. From our perspective, it seems a reasonable courtesy to at least respond with a message to those who you would rather not add as friends.
Our primary accpetance criteria (mainly becuase it's quick to determine) is certificatio but despite explaining this in our profile a good majority of the friend requests we recieve are from people who are uncertified. We recognise that the certification process has its flaws, loopholes and drawbacks but in the main we feel it's a good guide and a process that we should all try to encourage & support.
So, in the main, we send out this standard message
Hi,
Thank you for the friend invite. We are always happy to meet other true
nudists. We think the truenudists.com certification process is an
excellent idea. It is very easy and we try to encourage all our friends
to complete it. We notice you have not yet been certified. We will keep
your invite in pending until you get your certification. Send us a
message when you have been certified and we will be happy to accept
your friend invite. Regards Steve & DeniseReactReply - JOJoeyJan 30, 2010[quote]if [True Nudist Certified] YES else if [Photo contains erection / open vagina] NO else if [Photo contains only single body part] NO else if [100+ friends] NO else if [Profile is empty] NO else if [Profine contains sexual references] NO else if [Profile is believable] YES else NO That's about it. If I'm missing something, I'll add it later. :)[/quote] Great post. Is this a sub-routine of a larger application? LOL You forgot to query your DB for any common friends or groups. Will there be a sub-routine to grep the profile for keywords that would indicate friendship potential? Have you run this through UAT or did you just install it into production and will fix any "undocumented features" later? LOLReactReply
- CD
Cheri Donna DawsonJan 30, 2010[quote]if [True Nudist Certified] YES else if [Photo contains erection / open vagina] NO else if [Photo contains only single body part] NO else if [100+ friends] NO else if [Profile is empty] NO else if [Profine contains sexual references] NO else if [Profile is believable] YES else NO That's about it. If I'm missing something, I'll add it later. :)[/quote] That's about my thoughts :)ReactReply - MEMemberJan 30, 2010[quote]I would be more interested in hearing if and how people say "thanks but no thanks". Personally, we don't like to just hit deny. From our perspective, it seems a reasonable courtesy to at least respond with a message to those who you would rather not add as friends. Hi, Thank you for the friend invite. We are always happy to meet other true nudists. We think the truenudists.com certification process is an excellent idea. It is very easy and we try to encourage all our friends to complete it. We notice you have not yet been certified. We will keep your invite in pending until you get your certification. Send us a message when you have been certified and we will be happy to accept your friend invite. Regards Steve & Denise [/quote] Hey guys, point well made, it's all about manners... We tried that for a long time. Our results: People who would still continue to request our friendship over and over, and then the most recent was the person who responded to OUR message saying that it wasn't worth the effort to get to know us so they wouldn't bother us any more!? #$%#%^#^%&! What? (Heads still shaking...) But that aside, we request someone to email us first, send a message, tell us why you think we'd be good friends, let us know what your interest in us is, first. But if you liken the typed word hear as a voice on a telephone, and THEY call you, expecting YOU to be the first one to say something, it doesn't work. Personally, when I call people, I call for a reason, to chat about something, not to wait for a connection and hope that THEY want to talk to ME.... how absurd would that be? But there are those who message us first, and if they do, but for whatever reason, we decide NOT to accept the friends request, we will send a message back. It's only considerate to do so. But empty requests from people who just randomly as us to be friends? Forget it. It's rude and disrespectful. Especially when that behaviour tells us that they weren't even interested enough to read our profile. It's a whole new world online.... Just be the person you are, mind your manners and you will be well respected... SReactReply
- OC
ocmickJan 30, 2010"...But there are those who message us first, and if they do, but for whatever reason, we decide NOT to accept the friends request, we will send a message back. It's only considerate to do so. But empty requests from people who just randomly as us to be friends? Forget it. It's rude and disrespectful. Especially when that behaviour tells us that they weren't even interested enough to read our profile. It's a whole new world online....
Just be the person you are, mind your manners and you will be well respected...
S..."
Pretty much what Steve just stated...if I haven't messaged you or you me or chatted in the Chat Room, or bumped into each other in an airport security line ...then friends requests are just deniedReactReply - MA
macnudeJan 30, 2010[quote]Since I am a married male and only looking for male buddies, I do NOT accept female friends unless they are coupled and the partner is included in the site. As for male friends, If I like what I see and read, I am more likely to add. IF, on the otherhand I get a request from someone whose profile is set to "Can only be viewed by friends" and I haven't had any contact with them well - SORRY, you're a NO NO.[/quote] I have received several friends request and found the profile to be available to friends only. Rather than reject them, I approve as friends. When the profile is available I check to see what type of photos they have posted, what groups they have joined and take a look at their friends. On occasion, if I don’t like what I’ve seen I simply go to edit friends and click the x. Poof, the are gone, probably before they found themselves to be temporally approved.ReactReply