Sexual discrimination

Replies

• ME

  Member

  Nov 11, 2008

  TX,
  Keep in mind that there are a lot of people on here that are really on here to seek others for sex.  Swinger couples tend to request only females or other couples.  I, like several other couples, have been inundated with friend requests by a penis.  At least that is the only picture they have.  I also have had a few females, whom, I would only ever be able to identify them by their crotches, send friend requests.  I reject them all unilaterally.
  
  Think of it this way TX.  It's one less person to be annoyed by on your friends list and it makes the quality of the rest of your friends rise a little.  I personally think that 90 percent of the people ar nothing more than acquaintences and I would love to have a means by which a friend request puts them on your list as acquaintences and only after you make a change to thier link will they then become friends.
  
  I know that a lot of people on here will actually meet up, like I have done with Tbares and Naturist_2.  I am actually hoping to meet up with you and a few others sometime.  I think that there is a big difference between those that have a profile pic on your profile page and those that you actually sat and talked with, or got in the hot tub with, etc.  Ah, it's all acedemic.  I might just wait a few more months and after meeting up with a bunch of other people, just kick all of my friends off cept those I met and those that I talk to regularly.  I think I talk to you fairly regularly.
  
  I am happy to be your friend.  It's their loss...
  
  Thanks
  Jerry

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• SW

  Swifthawk

  Nov 12, 2008

  I feel your pain, mate.  Like you, I do not seek to ask people to be friends who say couples or females only.  Not just because I don't want to seek a friendship with someone who doesn't want me, but also because I don't want to be friends with someone that narrow minded.  I understand full well what women can go through online and how they get harrassed by them, hell even I've experienced it with men.  lol...Face it, as a general rule men can be pigs.
  
  Saying that though, I think it's wrong to paint everybody with the same brush, regardless if it's sex, race, whatever, you must take each person as an individual and at face value.  Not only is it morally wrong, it's a stupid thing to do as you could be eliminating someone special from your life and wouldn't even know it (whether it be for friendship or more).  This person you've elminated could change your life for the better, but they are out of the picture because they are a man.  Sure you also run the risk of running into a moron or super turd, but really they are pretty easy to spot.
  
  What the real pisser of your situation is, that this person actually chatted with you, got to know you a little bit and still declined you on the basis of your sex.  How shallow is that?  Mate, you're better off without them.
  
  On a side note, I've seen this problem happen all over the net.  Whether it be nudist sites, dating sites, sex sites, whatever, you always run into NO SINGLE MALES.  While I understand full well that people are entitled to seek out who they want, it bugs me that there is really no outcry over it.  If I had a profile that said, no women, no blacks, no chinese, no arabs, there would be a huge outrage.  I'd be labled a sexist and a racist.  Yet, if people discriminate against a single male, there is nothing, not a peep except from those of us who have been discriminated against.  Like, wtf is up with that?  Are men not worth peoples outrage when we are being treated unfairly?
  
  The sad thing is, it's not confined to just the internet, it's damn near everywhere in society today.  Female only clubs, religous only areas, college grants (or whatever they're called, the name escapes me, but paid tuition) for visable minorities and  no single men allowed at nudist places, etc, yet you don't see people bandying about with signs screeming for the men to be considered equal.  However, if you see a mens club come up or a whites only premesis open, it would be lambasted.  People of all shapes and sizes would be up in arms over it and kick our asses back to the stone age.
  
  Hehe...Sorry, I don't mean to get off topic, but this subject bugs the hell out of me.  I believe in equal rights for all, including single men.

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• ME

  Member

  Nov 12, 2008

  I feel for you too Tx. Thankfully I haven't run into that sort of thing too often. Well I guess I have actually but I try not to let it get to me too much. Kinda like what Jerry and Swifty said, even though it may sting a bit to be rejected simply because of your sex, in the long run you really have to chalk it up to being their loss and move on. I've tried to be friendly with someone and gotten the dirty looks and the brush off plenty of times for the trouble. Hey, what are ya gonna do?

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• ME

  Member

  Nov 12, 2008

  Hey Swifty.....I just got satelite TV here, 'bout 3 weeks ago, I've been looking for the "white male entertainment channel", I still haven't found it, I think I've wore out the channel up and down button looking.....I guess I should just give up on that for the next, what, 100 years???
  
  Oh and back earlier this year, one of the major networks had a great speacial on one night, late, (I think it was NBC) about how the decline of the x chromosome meant that in 200,000 years there would be no more males left on planet earth.  Of course that part of the 1 hour show was all of 10 min, then they proceeded to show how men are no longer needed in our society.........for the rest of the hour.
  
  Scary....
  
  thanks
  Jerry

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• TH

  

  ThomasOriginal Poster

  Nov 12, 2008

  Thanks Swifthawk, Jerry, and Steve,   I am glad to have you as friends.  Fortunately most of the people I have met on here have been very nice, it just got my goat when I got response that they did not accept single males as friends.  Thomas

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• ME

  Member

  Nov 12, 2008

  It takes all kinds to make the world go round.....
  
  Jerry

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• PH

  

  Philfreeeuk

  Jan 1, 2009

  [quote]It's just one of those damned if you do damned if you don't things so all we can do is plug along and take what is offered us.  In a way it's more depressing to run across it here where it's a virtual environment knowing I'll likely never meet anyone from this site.  In a real environment I can see where single males would have more of a problem.   I don't know of anything else we can do.   There's times I want to throw my hands up and give up but we never do do we?[/quote]  Know exactly what you mean BC. I eventually quit going to the sun club when we split up, despite the efforts of a few friends, you do just feel so out of place. I have more or less given up, years ago, and like Don said, if you message someone on here, they've probably got so many messages, they won't even read it. That's IF, they have filled out their profile enough to get me interested, and anyway, I am looking for a  Environmentally friendly, Animal loving, None Materialistic, Agnostic, Vegetarian, Naturist, so I've probably got less chance of finding her, than a chocolate tea pot has, of making it past it's first tea party! But you never know, stranger things have happened, so they say

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• LO

  

  Louis33705

  Jan 14, 2009

  I am a single man who recently moved into a nudist resort in Florida fulltime.  I suppose I am lucky the majority of resorts in this area do allow singes (men and women).  However, I am always conscious when I engage in conversations in the common areas especially with couples.  If I do engage in a conversation I find myself directing my comments to the husband or the couple in general.  Only God knows I did not sell my house of 30 years to move into a travel trailer in a nudist resort for any kind of sexual experience.  My main motivation for relocating was to spend my retirement years in a natural and free environment.  As for my friends list, I believe I have over 70 friends of which I invited probably only 10.  However, since so many asked me to be included in their list, I always make it a point to keep in touch with all of them, whether it be by posting photos (with comments) or sending messages sharing my life with each and every one of them.  I also make it a point to respond to any of their bulletins or profile updates.
  In addition, as a bisexual man, I have had advances directed to me from both men and women here as well as other similar sites I belong to.  I merely say, "thank you but that is not what I am here for."  I know we have the option of including or not our sexual orientation but I believe in total honesty up front.  It is much easier to post it from the start than to have to explain oneself later.
  Thank you.

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• ME

  Member

  Jan 27, 2009

  Wow, what a dilemma.  Hope to give you all a different perspective.  When Steve and I first joined this site, just as most "newbies" we accepted lots of friend requests - couple, single male, single female.  The only real criteria we had was whether their profile info seemed to mesh with our interests and ideals.  Before we knew it we had a long list of people, who never communicated with us, never responded to our emails, never gave us the time of day. We found that among those that were unresponsive, a lot were single men who only left comments on our pics. Let me rephrase that - the pics of me, but still wouldn't respond to emails.  So they were deleted and we became wary of single men.  Then there were the married men (or men with significant others) who were only interested in seeing more pics of me and so they were deleted. And some were "nudists" behind their wives backs. And we didn't feel comfortable with that. So they were deleted.  And then there were the "married" men who claimed there wives were nudists as well, but we were never able to have any conversations with "the other half." So we devised our own "certification" for them.  Email us a recent picture clothed or nude (whatever their preference) holding an everyday object that we named (so that we could verify it was a recent pic) and in return we would do the same with an object they named.  Quite a few never responded.  That spoke volumes. And they were deleted. And a few did respond. And that eased our minds.  It was a fun verification process. We now have very silly pics of us holding things like gardening tools, pots and pans, lamps, etc. As we realized that most of our "friend" requests were coming from single males without any previous correspondence or exchanges, we changed our profile to list a bunch of criteria for being our friends, but also letting everyone know that if they didn't meet the criteria we would still be willing to be "friends" after some form of correspondence.  And then we could tell who was actually reading our profile, getting an overview of who we were, finding a common thread and not just looking at pictures.  Very few single men did this.  Of the few that did we accepted them as friends once we had established a friendly repoir.  Yet the majority of the "friend" invites we get are still from single men with no prior correspondence.  Initially, we would email them back saying thank you for the friend request, we would be glad to accept you as friends after we exchange a few emails with you to see if we have common interests and include a little blurb about what we like to do, what our interests are and asking them to tell us a little about themselves.  And then we'd get just another "friend" request in return.  Frankly, we got tired of putting in the effort and not having it returned, so unless it's someone we've exchanged ideas and opinions with, developed a repoir with through the forum, or emails or chat (here and on IM) we just automatically deny them. Just recently, I had some really nice conversations with several different people in the chat room.  One of those, a single male, sent us a "friend" request.  Because I had already had one nice conversation with him, I emailed him back letting him know that we would gladly accept his request after exchanging a few more emails/chats with both of us.  His response was, Oh! Sorry didn't mean to bother you.  And that was that. On the other hand, most (not all) couples and single females will email us prior to sending a "friend" request to establish the common ground that friendship is based on. It's unfortunate that there are so many men on this site who really don't get it and totally spoil it for ALL of the nice guys.  It's equally unfortunate that there are so many couples and single females who are not willing to find out who a person is and forget about gender.  What can I say, guys, except a few "trigger happy"  fellows leave some people very gun shy. We have met so many nice people on this site, couples and singles and spouses who's other halves don't participate, that we are thrilled and proud to have as our friends. Quiet a few that we're already making plans to meet, quiet a few who are a little further away who we hope some day to meet (Steve (2) and Earl, if we ever get out to Chicago to meet TBares can we stop in Ohio and Indie to say hello? Thomas would you provide the music to go with the killer dinner Jerry and I are going to whip up?, Steve (1) next time I'm in Utah want to meet half way?) And a few others that we'll definitely visit when we win the lottery (Phil, we'll drive (my) Steve nuts if all we do is talk in rhyme. Tom, Steve is dying to capture the savannah on his camera). Swifty, lookn and Don, we've enjoyed your posts and are looking forward to getting to know you! Hope this perspective helped!Jen

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• ME

  Member

  Jan 27, 2009

  Oh man, I swear, it didn't FEEL like I was writing the great american novel!  Some day I'll learn to keep it short, sweet and to the point. Yeah, right!Jen

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• ME

  Member

  Jan 27, 2009

  [quote]Cuddlebutton makes some interesting remarks and notes lessons for all of us.  Nudists and social nudity is simply a way to do the common everyday tasks without the restriction of clothing. This can be in a private setting or at a club or resort.  Most members of AANR are couples due to the intended 100% membership in AANR of all  affilliated clubs.   My and my wife's AANR membership number is  181303 and P1076671 AANR-W.  My wife does not chat.  However, she participates in our club regularly and has been on numerous nude cruises and goes to resorts regularly.  Her first time in a social nude situation was at Terra Cotta resort in Palm Springs 14 years ago - Thank you TOM  and MC.  Cuddlebutton and her husband have made efforts to screen out the the unwanted "friends" through intricate maneuvers.  However, they should not have to delve into these machinations to associate with other nudists.  Maybe asking people for their AANR or TNS membership can be another way to define the nudist couple.      [/quote]  That's an excellent suggestion CO, however, that would then leave Steve and myself out as we are not members of AANR or TNS. Although we do participate in the AANR annual beach clean up, where we've made some wonderful friends, anything with a membership fee is prohibitive for us, right now. As much as we appreciate and support AANR (by volunteering  in specific events), we also don't feel it should necessary to be part of a club  just to prove we're nudists.  LOL! Our membership fee is our clothes coming off as soon as we walk through the door at home. Oh, if that sounds a little snarky it's really not meant to be.  Just pointing out that not every nudist or naturist is a member of an organization.  The fact of the matter is if we could squeeze it in to the budget, we would. Jen p.s. LOOOOOOVE your skiing photos!

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• ME

  Member

  Jan 27, 2009

  Jen you have brought up some really great and valid points on the matter of the “trigger happy” single guys and they way the reflect on the rest of us. I'm proud to have you and your Steve as friends on here and I would love to meet you guys one of these days.
  
  Okay now that I've gotten the pleasantries out of the way I've got to bring up a couple points on the issue of discrimination. This may get a bit controversial so if you're not willing to open your mind and read it for what it is then go ahead and stop now....Trust me it's not going to hurt my feelings one bit.
  
  First let me say that being someones friend for the sake of having friends doesn't interest me one bit. If someone doesn't want to be my friend then in my opinion it's their loss not mine. The thing that is killing me about this single male rhetoric that keeps getting tossed around by some couples is the way they refer to us as if we are somehow lesser beings or in some way unworthy because we haven't been paired up with someone. In some cases they really are talking out both sides of their mouths in that in one breath they are espousing the open acceptance and relatively non-judgmental nature of nudists and in the next about the general evils of the single male.
  
  Now for the controversial part....Brace yourself.....
  
  I submit for your consideration that this behavior is not all that different than the racism or the hate directed at GLBT's that we have endured here in the United States for so long. Granted there are no lynch mobs out looking for single guys. At least not that I'm aware of anyway. Where I draw the connection is that these people have based their opinion of an entire section of society on the actions of a hand full of people or on the misguided information that they have received from others. There is currently a couple here who has been advertising their couples only web site. While in my opinion they have all the right in the world to start a club who's membership is limited to those who they wish to associate with, that couple has also implied that single males are generally unworthy perverts who are up to nothing but trouble.
  
  In my life I have been impacted by both racism and sexual discrimination. The area where I grew up is greatly divided along the lines of race, sexuality, and socio-economic status. I have been denied access to financial public assistance when I truly needed it because I was a white male. I have been denied jobs because I was male. I have been ostracized because I am Italian. I have been ignored because I  am single. I was even asked to leave a church once because I wasn't dressed well enough...sorry couldn't afford the fancy clothes at the time, but who knew that was a prerequisite.
  
  My question is, when are people going to start basing their opinions of people on the actions of that person? I was held at gun point by a black man while he robbed the restaurant I was eating at. I don't hate all black people because of that. A good friend of mine was shot 5 times and killed by a group of Mexicans. I don't hate all Mexicans because of that. A Jewish girl caused the car accident that injured my back leaving me in pain for the last 15 years. I don't hate all Jews for that. So when are these people going to grow up and stop hating single men because a handful of us have inappropriately asked them for naked pictures?

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• ME

  Member

  Jan 27, 2009

  EDIT:

  Steve, You have some very valid points, thank you for your perspective, gives me food for thought!

  Jen

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• PH

  

  Philfreeeuk

  Jan 27, 2009

  Well Jen I'm glad you bothered to write all that, I'm sure it will be very helpful to a lot of others, and I've been wondering for ages what your verification process was, great idea, hehe.   I was determined, this time, to not end up with hundreds of friends, so I wrote that blog to make it clear, It seems to have worked, maybe too well as I don't get bothered much. I am not in a position to go and meet anyone unless they are close (and there's not many of them) so I'm not in a hurry to make lots of friends, because corresponding with them is too time consuming.   I think a friend is someone that you don't necessarily have to have a lot of frequent interaction with, but is there for you when you need them. Especially here, it's ridiculous to expect to stay in touch with a large number. I seem to have just got a feel for people by reading what they write and after a while they usually send a request. Had a few that have requested blind so to speak some of them I just delete, and if they look like they might be ok I'll go out of my way to get to know them a bit, so that I can still say I 've chatted with every one of my friends (with the exception of a few "pin ups" that I accepted for aesthetic reasons and so it would not look like I was gay! hehe) but lately I've  been thinking it might be nice to have ALL the decent folk on my list, just to have them all in one place, but that would probably run into thousands and I doubt the list would accept that many.   Steve I can see where you're coming from, but I can also see and sympathise with the couples that are harassed by all these unscrupulous guys. It must be a lot of work dealing with them and I know I wouldn't bother. I think my way (although I may have come across a bit too strong) seems to be the way to go, for me anyway.   looknf4sun, you always make a lot of sense, I think it's time we got together, do you?   ps. Jen, I too felt uncomfortable when I saw that post, so far TT seems to have ignored violations of that rule, which I think is a good thing, if your just pointing some one towards some info, but I think this IS blatant advertising and should not be here. It'll be interesting to see if it stays here.    EDIT: The post in question has now been altered.   Phil.

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• ME

  Member

  Jan 27, 2009

  The couples only resort people have changed their thread to be a discussion rather than an advertisement.  Because they were willing to do that I'm editing out my post on this thread.

  Thx!

  J

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• WI

  

  WillGolden

  Jan 27, 2009

  Well I, by dint of a very special birth scenario, form a THIRD gender all on my own.  Clever boy!  True, I am 46xy karyotype male, but I was born neuter, asexual.  All right, stop beating about the bush; I was born with no bits!  And I am proud of it!But, if you want sexual discrimination, my 2 years in the lifestyle has been littered with it.   I can only thank all my wonderful naturist friends who stand by me in these hideous incidents, the worst being perpetrated by site-owners, would you  believe?Take the latest!  Some tosser called Kevin, who admins or owns http://www.nudist-resorts.org, upon catching me posting in his forums, immediately froze my membership until I produce a medical report proving I am real.  What a gall to ask for a sensitive document which is personal to me and classified among the surgeons who are working on remedial surgery for me!  Has this xenophobe ever done this to any other member?  No!  I am singled out.  This bigot simply segregated me into a category for a latter day John Merrick just because I am different.   Apartheid lives!This, after a few months back another site owner known as socalguy removed my photo out of the "members' album"  and isolated me in a new album called "members with no penis"!  You gotta laugh or you'll cry!Now THAT'S sexual discrimination.... against the non-sexual, godammit!   LOL!Sites like http://www.nudist-resorts.org have to be blacklisted by all genuine nudists if we are to end these obscenities, as do clubs that discriminate against single males on slanderous grounds, as I too have experienced (thank you Apollo Sun Club, Sussex).Xenophobia and discrimination are not as prevalent in nudism as in mainstream society but they do, I'm afraid, exist far too often.

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• WI

  

  WillGolden

  Jan 27, 2009

  I think Lorraine you should mention something else for the benefit of clubs like Apollo Sun Club of Sussex.
  They are a club that ban single males on account of them being predatory.
  Now you and I know this is NOT the case.  Single males are able to get sex any time they like 24/7 because they have no home loyalties to conflict with.  So they are up against no sexual deadline at the nudist clubs.
  In fact the predatory males in nearly 100% of cases are married men.  They get their wives to join these sun clubs just so that they can turn up on their own.  Perhaps their love life at hnme is on the wane so they get down the club with only a few hours to get it all in.  This is a dangerous animal to any single female. This is Eureka (Kent) in a nutshell!
  I feel that if sun clubs start to identify and ban all these predatory married men they might begin to earn some creditabiliy.
  Only then will such clubs be a safe heven for single women.

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• PH

  

  Philfreeeuk

  Jan 27, 2009

  [quote]Wow.  Willy, your obvious anger comes across in your posts.  I really hope you find some good friends here and maybe even some peace. Take care.[/quote]  I hope so too, I heard that ureka was like that, thirty years ago!

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• ME

  Member

  Jan 28, 2009

  SteveLorraine, Thank you so much for adding your voice!  I noticed that when mentioning "predatory males" you did not identify them as single or married per se, just simply predatory.  Just wanted you to know that was a point not lost on me and how right you are!  Some of our unpleasant  experiences have been with married men as well.  Unfortunately, single men take most of the rap.  Sorry guys, wish we could change that! I admire your attitude and reading everyone's posts here has been good food for thought.

  But, lol, I have to say that since posting my original view point on this subject (24 hours ago) we've had over 35 single males send us a "friends request" with no email explaining who they are or why they're interested in being our friends.  That's more in one day than we've ever received!  Retribution for my post or just paranoia? LOL!

  Jen

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• TH

  

  ThomasOriginal Poster

  Jan 28, 2009

  [quote]TX, we're pleased to count you as one of our friends and would like to meet you in person some day.  In the past, we spent a lot of time around San Antonio and loved the Riverwalk area.  We haven't been there in years, but plan to make a trip back there someday.  Maybe we can meet somewhere along the way. We 'Deny' many of the Friend requests we get for the reasons some have stated.  The profile is vague, the only photo is the one-eyed monster, or there's just a 'feeling'.  OK, so you're a man who has all the appropriate body parts, but it's obvious you enjoy the outdoors and, preferably, nude.  Hey, that's us!  So don't worry about some of the uppity folks.  There are plenty of us plain-old real people around.[/quote]   Thanks, would love to meet you in person too.  Yes I do love being outdoors, especially when I can be nude.  The reason I have so many pictures is I like to show the things I enjoy, and brag a little on my fishing luck.  LOL Thomas

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• TH

  

  ThomasOriginal Poster

  Jan 28, 2009

  Sorry about double post, had to check for errors on previous one that was stuck in fold of the page  LOL

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• WI

  

  WillGolden

  Jan 28, 2009

  Lookn4sun.
  Sorry for the tone of the message on hedonist heterosexual couples.  The www.nudist-resorts.org abuse hurt me very badly and this second post was obviously affected in the language, although the points I made are correct & valid and I stand by them.
  Yes guys, I am angry!  Shouldn't I be?

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• TH

  

  ThomasOriginal Poster

  Jan 28, 2009

  [quote]SteveLorraine, Thank you so much for adding your voice!  I noticed that when mentioning "predatory males" you did not identify them as single or married per se, just simply predatory.  Just wanted you to know that was a point not lost on me and how right you are!  Some of our unpleasant  experiences have been with married men as well.  Unfortunately, single men take most of the rap.  Sorry guys, wish we could change that! I admire your attitude and reading everyone's posts here has been good food for thought.  But, lol, I have to say that since posting my original view point on this subject (24 hours ago) we've had over 15 single males send us a "friends request" with no email explaining who they are or why they're interested in being our friends.  That's more in one day than we've ever received!  Retribution for my post or just paranoia? LOL! Jen[/quote]  Jen, thanks for pointing that out, I was still waiting for my morning coffee to brew when I read Lorraine's post yesterday.   Thank you Lorraine for making that point.  The number of married men I have know that cheated on their wives validates that.  I also know that some married men will go into chat and claim they are single to try to pick up someone.    Jen, all the friends requests are a reward for being such a nice person.Thomas

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• TH

  

  ThomasOriginal Poster

  Jan 28, 2009

  [quote]Lookn4sun.  Sorry for the tone of the message on hedonist heterosexual couples.  The www.nudist-resorts.org abuse hurt me very badly and this second post was obviously affected in the language, although the points I made are correct & valid and I stand by them.  Yes guys, I am angry!  Shouldn't I be?[/quote]    I can definatly understand you being angry.  Too many people judge someone by how they are different instead of who they are as a person.  I hope that you enjoy it here, there are a lot of people here that care about the person you are instead of how you are different from them. Thomas

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