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ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
Oct 29, 2011I'm not saying my wife is ugly, but I came home drunk the other night and made love to the bulldog.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOct 29, 2011# 2
My wife is so ugly I put a picture of her on top of the mantle piece to keep the kids away from the fire.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 5, 2011
My wife is so ugly, she stuck her head out of the car window and got arrested for mooning.
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TonyJ63Nov 5, 2011There was a knock at the door.
Two policemen were there, one help up a photo and asked "Is this your wife sir?"
"Yes it is" I replied
He then said "I'm sorry sir, it looks like she's been hit by a bus"
"I know" I said "but she's really good with the kids"ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 5, 2011My wife is so ugly, the doctor said she would have to see the vet.
(5)ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 5, 2011# 7
The "Til death do us part" wording of the ceremony was a problem my wife just wouldn't die.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 5, 2011[quote]You ALL need a good spanking!!! BY YOUR WIVES!!! pffffffff[/quote]I'm thinking of getting my wife a whip for christmas, well she does look like a horse, he,he,ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 5, 2011# 9
My wife and I are no longer together. Now I am off to get a pleasant nights sleep.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 13, 2011I married Miss Right, I just didn't know her first name was Always.
(10)ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 14, 2011My wife was looking up a a cloudy sky the other night and she said " I wish I could see stars " So I whacked her on the head with a baseball bat.
11ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 14, 2011Joke about the wife, ha,ha,ha,ha-Wivesarea joke.
(13)ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 14, 2011[quote]You ALL need a good spanking!!! BY YOUR WIVES!!! pffffffff[/quote]
My wife is not a violent person, perhaps you would care to volunteer your services ! Ouch, never mind,maybe not !!!
(14)ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 16, 2011Standing in front of the mirror the other day, my wife said she would like to lose a good few pounds, so I emptied her bank account.
(15)ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 19, 2011My wife said that I must stop telling stupid jokes about her. I said " I never tell stupid jokes, I tell jokes about stupidity "
(18)ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 19, 2011# 19
The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 19, 2011Standing on a cliff watching a hawk go into a steep dive and scoop a fish from the sea, my wife said " Isn't it wonderful, I wish I could fly like that." So I pushed her off the cliff.
( Be careful what you wish for. )
(20)ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 25, 2011If I don't soon think of some more wife jokes, I may have to think about a new wife.
(21)ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 25, 2011My wife said to me the other day," I'm sick of seeing you make a pig of yourself at the dinner table, it's time you did something about it " So I took her advice and stuck a paper bag over her head.
(22)ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 25, 2011# 23
I had to dump my girlfriend; she had gained so much weight she could wear my wife's clothes.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 25, 2011# 24
When we got married I told my wife, "Honey, you just stay home and stick to the washin', ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'.
No wife of mine is gonna work."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 25, 2011# 25
I've been in love with the same woman for many years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 26, 2011My wife said she needed more freedom, so now I take her handcuffs off on sundays.
(26)ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 26, 2011# 27
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 26, 2011My wife will never make a good driver-----Her hair gets tangled in the grass when I tee off.
(28)ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 26, 2011# 29
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food...
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.ReactReply