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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 17, 2019One day after work I stopped off for a couple of beers with some co-workers.
When I arrived home my wife angrily started whining and complaining about me not coming straight home after work.
When she paused for a minute,
I said, "We have only been married for three months and you're starting to sound like my ex-wife."
She screamed, "I didn't know you were married before."
I replied, "I wasn't."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 15, 2019
I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all.
I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head,
I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"
"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no...I was paroled."ReactReply - MEMemberApr 23, 2019
The prostitute that couldn't spell ended up working in a warehouse.
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 18, 2019--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She had been shopping with her Mom in Asda. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired,freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout.
We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Asda. We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature
messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I get lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world.
Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child come pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day. Her voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in.
"Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked. "Let's run through the rain!" She repeated. "No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom,let's run through the rain."
"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.
"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm. "This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"
"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say.
Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing. Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories every day!
To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A friend sent this to me to remind me of life, hope you enjoy it. I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAINReactReply - 50
50Jul 24, 2019Two Blondes walk into a bar, the second one didn't see it either.
ReactReply - MEMemberJul 24, 2019
That's awesome, thanks for sharing, next time it rains I will run
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 8, 2019I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon. Ill let you knowReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 19, 2019I decided to take a day off and go to the race track. I bet on a horse at 10 to one. It came in at quarter past four.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterSep 2, 2019The Music Of Your Life. Is there a song that is significant in your life? What is it and why? Mine is Ray Charles, I Cant Stop Loving You. We met at work. She was married with children, so was I. We feel instantly in love. We never really consummated our love affair. A few stolen kisses. Many long phone calls. The one that got away.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterSep 13, 2019HORSE RACE Line up and odds: In lane 1. Passionate Lady @ 2 to1 In lane 2. Bare Belly @ 4 to 1 In lane 3. Silk Panties @ 8 to 1 In lane 4. Conscience @ 100 t0 1 In lane 5. Jockey Shorts @ 10 to 1 In lane 6. Clean Sheets @ 25 to 1 In lane 7. Thighs @ 15 to 1 In lane 8. Big Dick @ 2 to 5 In lane 9. Heavy Bosom @ 12 to 1 In lane 10. Merry Cherry @ 50 to 1 AND THEY'RE OFF!!! Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is in a dangerous spot. AT THE HALFWAY MARK: It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is pushing in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick AT THE TURN Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Silk Panties and Jockey shorts are no longer in the picture Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming. AT THE STRETCH: It's Big Dick taking charge Passionate Lady continues to take all Big Dick can offer. Bare Belly buckles under the pressure As Thighs are forced wide AT THE FINISH It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes through with one final thrust and wins by a head Bare Belly shows Thighs continue to fall back Heavy Bosom pulls up And Clean Sheets never had a chance.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJan 5, 2020If your past resolutions seem old And youd like one thats novel and bold, You could vow to spend time With more wordplay and rhyme... And to enter the contests I hold.ReactReply
- MA
ManOfWicklowJan 5, 2020I really don't care,
If people do stare,
Here or there,
I like to be bare.ReactReply - SASamJan 28, 2020[quote]The Music Of Your Life. Is there a song that is significant in your life? What is it and why? Mine is Ray Charles, I Cant Stop Loving You. We met at work. She was married with children, so was I. We feel instantly in love. We never really consummated our love affair. A few stolen kisses. Many long phone calls. The one that got away.[/quote] ANNIE HERE: Reba's "You're the first time i've thought about leaving"ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 5, 2020[strong][strong][strong][strong][strong]Why did the chicken cross the street?
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?
GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, And there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?[/strong][/strong][/strong][/strong][/strong] .Fact Of The Day from AFactADay.com Chickens Can't Cross the Road There is a place in the United States where chickens cant cross the road. In the town of Quitman, Georgia, it is illegal for chickens to cross the road. If caught, the chicken owners can be held liableReactReply - KO
KohaanJun 5, 2020What happens if a misquito farts? ...
ReactReply - JO
JohnJun 17, 2020Not true in my experience - my son had a school friend with no legs who could get around very effectively without artificial legs and also competed in marathons in his wheelchair, successfully completing many including the London and Boston ones in times comparable to the leading runners. [quote]Where do you find a person with no legs? Right where u left them[/quote]ReactReply - KOKohaanDec 27, 2020
Challenges can present opportunities to sell Good Ideas. :-)
ReactReply - KOKohaanDec 27, 2020
When you're down, get up, again... When you're up, get down... to work. ;-)
ReactReply - PA
PaulJun 21, 2021Students of the London University lately have found that women who jog without a bra has longer breasts. Now men have started running without underwear.
ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJun 21, 2021
Scientists have discovered a food that reduces a woman's sex drive by 95% - it' called Wedding cake.
ReactReply - TY
TyJul 19, 2021Laying out at a Nude Beach yesterday when a cock ring goes rolling down the hill. A millisecond later the owner is trying to chase it like a frisbee that is on a run-away roll down the hill. As the owner is chasing it, someone else notices and yells out "Cock Ring on the Roll". The whole place just goes up in laughter. The owner also joined in laughing, but I could only imagine how mortified I would have felt on the inside, which was why when I first saw things going down, I just looked to see how things would workout and not say anything.
Someone in the crowd asked why anyone would wear a cockring in public, my thought was the same reason a person wears an earring, or other jewelry. People wear rings and bling, so when Naked, what's wrong with a little bling ring on your naked parts.
ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowAug 2, 2021
What do you call a cheap circumcission ---------------------------------- A rip off
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