Witty Driving Conversation.

Replies

• MA

  

  ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster

  Aug 20, 2012

  A 95 year old guy was driving behind me on rollerblades, at 80 mph on the freeway.
  I realized the tip of his tie was stuck under my trunk lid.
  I slowed down quickly and a blonde in a threewheeler ran straight into the back of him.
  Luckily I slowed down, it seems like we are headed for a dead end down the road.
  If it's a dead end  we could set up a stall selling viagra, that would drive some life into it.
  It sounds like we are headed for Intercourse, Pennslynania.
  They don't like fast cars there, it's all pony and traps in Leacock.
  It seems I have driven into a town where they speak a dialect I do not quite understand.
  I met two brothers called Jacob and Isaac, (not very friendly) they told me to keep driving.
  I am going to park right here until I figure out what the hell you are talking about.
  Why do you have a policeman's hat stuck on your fender  ?
  Are you banned from driving, or have you just given up on it  ?
  Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,I took the one less traveled, but now I am on the right path.
  I hope the road leads to a nudist resort.
  Not exactly, but they will all be naked. This road leads to the zoo.
  I'm sorry. I think I've reached a dead end.
  A dead end will not be of any use to that young lady in the back of your car.
  Well, I hope she understands. I've run out of gas.
  Huh !!!    She is not going to fall for that one,  AGAIN.
  I told the man at the dead end that I ran out of gas, but he kept on beating a dead horse.
  Perhaps he was confused with the horsepower of your engine.
  
  I asked the Pope why he travels so much? He replied, "Because I am a roamin Catholic!"
  
  To some people, driving is transportation. To others it's a contact sport.
  
  When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random,
  and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that:
  (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and
  (2) they will always meet at the bridge.
  ~ Murphy's Law of the Open Road
  How very true, I have lost many a wing mirror that way.

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• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. Tierney

  Aug 21, 2012

  A 95 year old guy was driving behind me on rollerblades, at 80 mph on the freeway.
  I realized the tip of his tie was stuck under my trunk lid.
  I slowed down quickly and a blonde in a threewheeler ran straight into the back of him.
  Luckily I slowed down, it seems like we are headed for a dead end down the road.
  If it's a dead end  we could set up a stall selling viagra, that would drive some life into it.
  It sounds like we are headed for Intercourse, Pennslynania.
  They don't like fast cars there, it's all pony and traps in Leacock.
  It seems I have driven into a town where they speak a dialect I do not quite understand.
  I met two brothers called Jacob and Isaac, (not very friendly) they told me to keep driving.
  I am going to park right here until I figure out what the hell you are talking about.
  Why do you have a policeman's hat stuck on your fender  ?
  Are you banned from driving, or have you just given up on it  ?
  Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,I took the one less traveled, but now I am on the right path.
  I hope the road leads to a nudist resort.
  Not exactly, but they will all be naked. This road leads to the zoo.
  I'm sorry. I think I've reached a dead end.
  A dead end will not be of any use to that young lady in the back of your car.
  Well, I hope she understands. I've run out of gas.
  Huh !!!    She is not going to fall for that one,  AGAIN.
  I told the man at the dead end that I ran out of gas, but he kept on beating a dead horse.
  Perhaps he was confused with the horsepower of your engine.
  I asked the Pope why he travels so much? He replied, "Because I am a roamin’ Catholic!"
  To some people, driving is transportation. To others it's a contact sport.
  
  When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there
  
  are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite
  
  directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge.
  ~ Murphy's Law of the Open Road
  
  How very true, I have lost many a wing mirror that way.
  
  A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
  As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"
  The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"
  They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner,
  he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road and dies.
  If only men would listen.
  

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster

  Aug 21, 2012

  A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk. He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!"
  
  "Okay," the man says, "You take the front and I'll take the back."

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