My wife has lost all interest in any kind of sexual activity. It started several years ago and doesn't show any signs of changing. From conversations I've had with many other guys, it seems that many of us senior guys (I'm in my mid 70's) are in the same boat. Has anyone ever succeeded in turning the boat around? If so, how did you do it?
Replies
- BL
BlueJun 16, 2025By getting a new boat
ReactReply - NK
nkhikerJun 16, 2025I'm in the same boat. Nothing has worked so far.
ReactReply - RIRichardJun 17, 2025
Over on another nudist site we have talked about this and a few have said "about bisexual" as there is a lot of naked man around they have turned to that, it's not ideal and some say they are "straight", but have tried it.
Maybe it's time to just get on with your life and except sex dosen't last forever, it has a time limit and why risk losing your wife if she found out.
My marrage was sexless from day one, I kid you not, not even on our honeymoon !!!......................it didn't last, now happley divorced.ReactReply - MEMemberJun 18, 2025[quote]My wife has lost all interest in any kind of sexual activity. It started several years ago and doesn't show any signs of changing. From conversations I've had with many other guys, it seems that many of us senior guys (I'm in my mid 70's) are in the same boat. Has anyone ever succeeded in turning the boat around? If so, how did you do it?[/quote] I'm in the same boat like you but I am not a senior yet. I happened to marry an older woman and we've been together for 20 years now. I know that this time will come that she will retire from sex, and I have come to accept that. There is no way to turn this back and make her like sex again. Just like what the other guy commented, sex is not forever and it has an expiration date. It may come a bit early for women than men but there are also men that retires early from sex due to medical issues especially if they have prostate problem. On the other hand, you have two choices...either you accept it and keep your relationship or find someone else and risk in losing your wife or your relationship. I have heard some stories that there are some wives that let their husbands play around because they know that they can no longer provide the sexual part of their relationship and they are ok with it as long as the husband comes home every night to her and also provide for everything. It happens but seldom for sure. Good luck to you no matter what you choose.ReactReply
- MEMemberJun 18, 2025
I highly recommend you casually 'mention' to your wife about your concerns; they may be more cognizant about it than you think. I found out about a low key health issue present and was able to improve that particular aspect. Additionally, get on the Internet and look for articles and other couples' posts about the issue and their changed approach. Afterwards, or possibly before, mention your status to your family doctor and see what happens. You can at least give the doc some clues and, assuming you both use the same practitioner, get some ideas and possible aids. You can't get back to age 25 again, but 55 is a possibility. I hope the best for you all.
ReactReply - MEMemberJun 18, 2025[quote]I highly recommend you casually 'mention' to your wife about your concerns; they may be more cognizant about it than you think. I found out about a low key health issue present and was able to improve that particular aspect. Additionally, get on the Internet and look for articles and other couples' posts about the issue and their changed approach. Afterwards, or possibly before, mention your status to your family doctor and see what happens. You can at least give the doc some clues and, assuming you both use the same practitioner, get some ideas and possible aids. You can't get back to age 25 again, but 55 is a possibility. I hope the best for you all.[/quote] Hi John, Was your reply intended to me? I assumed it is since you mentioned my age at the end of the post. You are definitely right. I have spoken to my wife when she started losing interest in sex and it is because of the side effects of the surgery she had down there. She went to undergo a hysterectomy and the doctor for whatever reason, suggested to her prior to surgery that she can also do a vaginaplasty where she will make the opening smaller. I think this sounds good to my wifes ear and decided to go for it. Unfortunately, the opening was made smaller and it didn't stretch at all to accommodate the penetration which cause so much pain in her part. Since then, she refused to have sex at all and I didn't want to cause her pain at all so I just accepted the fact that it is done...ReactReply
- JI
JimJun 18, 2025Yeah mine was loosing interest in her thirties. And I had tried a lot of different things trying to get her interested in sex again. But right around her fifties she started to dry up inside. She tried different kinds of lubricants but she still had pain while I was inside her.
Last time I did enjoy her body that way she bled . I hated causing her any pain. But I still have these hormones raging through my body. So I started going to the adult theaters, just watch videos and masturbate. I also discovered other videos other than the regular heterosexual ones. Thats when I discovered Bi videos and Gay videos. But they were a lot of the same videos of people just moaning really loud with amazing bodies. Until I seen a video of two guys together, they were normal. And they made love to each other like I have been making love to my wife. That one video really changed how I looked at sex.
Thats why I also found out about the glory holes in the video booth. I knew it was a guy next-door to me and he wanted to help me put my cock through the hole. I knew it was a man and I knew he wanted it really bad. So I did!
I worried that I was turning gay. But it felt so perfect and I was relieved afterwards because he even swallowed which my wife hated to do. The next few times even got better.I consider myself Bi now. And I put enjoyed other aspects of other men, but I have never told my wife. And I dont think she would like it if I had.
ReactReply - JIJimJun 18, 2025
Yeah mine was loosing interest in her thirties. And I had tried a lot of different things trying to get her interested in sex again. But right around her fifties she started to dry up inside. She tried different kinds of lubricants but she still had pain while I was inside her.
Last time I did enjoy her body that way she bled . I hated causing her any pain. But I still have these hormones raging through my body. So I started going to the adult theaters, just watch videos and masturbate. I also discovered other videos other than the regular heterosexual ones. Thats when I discovered Bi videos and Gay videos. But they were a lot of the same videos of people just moaning really loud with amazing bodies. Until I seen a video of two guys together, they were normal. And they made love to each other like I have been making love to my wife. That one video really changed how I looked at sex.
Thats why I also found out about the glory holes in the video booth. I knew it was a guy next-door to me and he wanted to help me put my cock through the hole. I knew it was a man and I knew he wanted it really bad. So I did!
I worried that I was turning gay. But it felt so perfect and I was relieved afterwards because he even swallowed which my wife hated to do. The next few times even got better.I consider myself Bi now. And I put enjoyed other aspects of other men, but I have never told my wife. And I dont think she would like it if I had.
ReactReply - RI
RichJun 18, 2025My wife lost all of her Lobito after menopause. She wouldnt go get her hormones checked . Later she told me she wasnt interested in any men.,it caused us a divorce..
ReactReply - JE
John EnglishJun 19, 2025My wife went through the change almost 10 years now she is not interested at all little tuff in the beginning we use to do it alot , my wife knows I still have a good drive last summer I went to a men's nudists resort and had my wife set me up online so she knew ,Like to try bi but have not yet it is actually good to see others have same problems
ReactReply - ECecbstbles60Jun 19, 2025
Yeah my wife use to enjoy being nude and even did some light swinging but a little over 6 years ago she lost all interest in being naked or any kind of sex . So I enjoy being nude when I can and would like to find someone to hang out with
ReactReply - CT
CTNudistCoupleJun 19, 2025Wife of 57 is going through premenopause and has no interest because it hurts. And doesnt even want to play with me. Even when Ive given myself a shot to get hard she has no interest. She still enjoys being nude at beaches and resorts. I was bi before meeting her so she knows Ive played but doesnt ask if I still play. I keep it on the down low.
ReactReply - NIninco01Original PosterJun 19, 2025
Boy! Are we in the same boat! For the first 2 - 3 years after my prostate cancer surgery I used injections to get hard. So, we continued to have a mutually satisfying sex life. Then she developed a condition that made intercourse painful. For a short time we switched to mutual oral, but that did not last long. She got to where she was just not interested in any sexual activity, which is where we are now. I used to have a friend I jacked with in high school, but we never did anything to each other. That was the last time I did anything with a guy. So, doing anything with a guy now would be totally new territory for me. Plus, I have a major concern about my wife finding out and it ruining our marriage, which, otherwise, is very good. So, I'm really not sure where I'll go from here.
ReactReply - RD
rdrunningJun 19, 2025Wow, there are certainly more than a few on this site with similar situations to mine. My wife, early 70shas lost all interest sex with me. She told me a few years ago that she doesn't need to do that anymore. She doesn't want me touching her, The apparent contradiction is that she still enjoys getting naked on beaches with others and staying at nude resorts. So, I'm happy for that. Our sex life was never great, she always seemed to find excuses for avoiding it, and when we did have sex, it was unspectacular. Rarely did she act as though she was enjoying it. The main problem is that she refuses to discuss anything related to sex, like it's something naughty and she is not a naughty woman. So like one previous contributor remarked, I have two choices, live with it or move on. Moving on involves much more than I'm willing to give up, so I put up with it, unhappily.
ReactReply - MA
MattJun 19, 2025This is exactly me. Wife is early menopausal and has absolutely no desire in anything sexual. I was getting along with self-play, but missed it. So, I frequent nude camps and beaches solo. Last time I went, I fooled around with a guy. I then realized how much I actually misses being a sexual being.
ReactReply - DEDebbie.potlyJun 21, 2025
Quite sad your boats been stuck in the doldrums for a minute! I may not be a marriage guru, are you keeping her feeling like the queen she is? Maybe a little flirtatious attention can work wonders! Im not saying you should go eyeing someone else, but maybe ask her playfully if shed mind you turning on that charm to remind her how irresistible she is.
ReactReply - CA
CalidablueJun 22, 2025My partner and I had incredible sex, but once the menopause started she lost all interest.
I continued to flirt, compliment but while she (obviously) enjoys them it doesn't create any desire. I suggested she tried another man but she was completely off that idea. Another woman wasn't appealing either.
So I don't know if her desires will return.
She encouraged previously I explored with other men (when she had lustings it really turned her on). I assume now that's why men turn to other men for sexual gravitation? I don't know if that's an option for the original poster (?)ReactReply - OA
OLD Army DogJul 18, 2025Well I have always believed in the Ancient Male's rights to have a great life. Not married since 2002, I moved to SC and found the Females here to be a bit needy in that sex was a wat to catch a guy and then move in. 15 years of crazy on and off drama I came to find talking this very subject OUT TO DEATH with other Males,..., "PLEASSURE KNOWS NO ORIENTATION". Males have enjoyed each other for millennias and still kept wives, or not. But once you get past the orientation politics that are just to control Males,...., you will find that the rainbows and the Stright liners all fade away and that you DO HAVE Males that will be great friends and care about you in a Masculine- not romantic way. Just be a good Male- do what MALES DO. And if it goes to enjoying the physical side- be smart and not freewheeling, Males can hurt each other emotionally with sex too- let's at least support each other better than many of our gals have. And if you just need to hold on,..., well start giving "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER" cards and masturbate any time you want to around the house. let her know that there is at least ONE LIVE HUMAN in the place! LOL!!!! Peace-S
ReactReply - OAOLD Army DogJul 18, 2025
Well I have always believed in the Ancient Male's rights to have a great life. Not married since 2002, I moved to SC and found the Females here to be a bit needy in that sex was a wat to catch a guy and then move in. 15 years of crazy on and off drama I came to find talking this very subject OUT TO DEATH with other Males,..., "PLEASSURE KNOWS NO ORIENTATION". Males have enjoyed each other for millennias and still kept wives, or not. But once you get past the orientation politics that are just to control Males,...., you will find that the rainbows and the Stright liners all fade away and that you DO HAVE Males that will be great friends and care about you in a Masculine- not romantic way. Just be a good Male- do what MALES DO. And if it goes to enjoying the physical side- be smart and not freewheeling, Males can hurt each other emotionally with sex too- let's at least support each other better than many of our gals have. And if you just need to hold on,..., well start giving "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER" cards and masturbate any time you want to around the house. let her know that there is at least ONE LIVE HUMAN in the place! LOL!!!! Peace-S
ReactReply - OAOLD Army DogJul 18, 2025
Well I have always believed in the Ancient Male's rights to have a great life. Not married since 2002, I moved to SC and found the Females here to be a bit needy in that sex was a wat to catch a guy and then move in. 15 years of crazy on and off drama I came to find talking this very subject OUT TO DEATH with other Males,..., "PLEASSURE KNOWS NO ORIENTATION". Males have enjoyed each other for millennias and still kept wives, or not. But once you get past the orientation politics that are just to control Males,...., you will find that the rainbows and the Stright liners all fade away and that you DO HAVE Males that will be great friends and care about you in a Masculine- not romantic way. Just be a good Male- do what MALES DO. And if it goes to enjoying the physical side- be smart and not freewheeling, Males can hurt each other emotionally with sex too- let's at least support each other better than many of our gals have. And if you just need to hold on,..., well start giving "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER" cards and masturbate any time you want to around the house. let her know that there is at least ONE LIVE HUMAN in the place! LOL!!!! Peace-S
ReactReply - NUnudie_jv3770Jul 18, 2025
Same boat here. To fill the gap a little I've been trying CFNM at our pool. Not the submissive type, but literally. Although she'll go nude at the pool with me she won't when here friends are at the pool. So far I've been nude around almost all of them one at a time, but never with them there as a group. No it's not sex, but it is a turn on, which helps.
Finding friends and couples to be nude with is very difficult, I think the biggest issue is none of them have pools, if they did they'd probably get used to swimming nude all the time like we have.ReactReply - D
DJul 22, 2025hormone replacement therapy can change your life...My wife had similar symptoms of low testosterone..(Essential for women to have the correct levels of T which controls desire and Response..Plus its proven to inhibit osteoporosis (bone loss) in women and muscle mass.
once her levels got corrected (40-90 Parts per million free testosterone) she was a tiger again and chased me around the house for sex..
Not covered by all insurance but its worth the cost of pellets implant (around $200 every three months)
ReactReply - BI
BillAug 26, 2025Realizing that there are a ton of good reasons to get married, not the least of which is a good, steady supply of loving pleasure at home. I suppose my woman and I could be outliers in the statistical data, with our wants fitting together just about as perfectly as do our parts ~ though it seems to me those items of connection should be totally discussed, fleshed out, understood and decided upon between partners before any vows are taken. If the want between you does change, and it will, having chosen a comfortable path for the future ahead of time could soften the sting of a love gone quiet. If, say the genitals are detached due to a freak smelting accident, would a gold member be an adequate replacement?
Desires wax and wain over the life of any relationship, and our physical parts don't remain static either. Loving someone needs to include addressing compatibility in the libido area, not just before the honeymoon but on a regular basis. Communicate! And get out of your comfort zone with your life partner if things get stale or rote.
How much blame is on the partner when their lover cannot perform the act of physical love any more without some drug or while consuming pornography to make the grade? And seriously, is trying to name the blame any help? Do what you have to to keep the physical act of love "acting", but going without passion in a relationship for weeks/months/years isn't right and it will hurt you both. The genitals are not the only way to pleasure - if the fantasy of your life that you both envisioned when you were considering a lifelong commitment hasn't turned in to what you expected, time to change it up! Use your biggest sex organ - your brain! If there's no passion the intercourse will go the same direction - away. And intercourse does not only mean the fuck. Speak your wants clearly and on a regular basis, and well before getting into bed. If those things are ignored or never honestly addressed, keep on trying, whether gently or otherwise, or get on the road.
ReactReply - MI
MiaAug 26, 2025I hear you, and I know it can feel discouraging. Speaking as a woman, Ill say that a drop in desire, especially as we get older, can come from many different directions: hormones, medications, physical comfort, emotional shifts, or even just how life together has settled into a routine.
Some couples have been able to turn the boat around, but it usually hasnt come from pushing for sex directly. What often helps is reconnecting in smaller, non-sexual ways first, touch, affection, shared activities, laughter, and simply talking openly about what each of you needs. Sometimes a woman may feel more pressure than pleasure if intimacy is only framed around sex, but she may respond well to warmth, tenderness, and emotional closeness that leads to physical closeness.
ReactReply