Meeting Real Quality People

Replies

• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Mar 8, 2021

  A majority of people on social media sitesaren'tquality people, and it's no different with nudists. To be good consumers, we're taught to love things and use people. To be real quality people we need touse things and love people.That takes vulnerability and risk. Keep on being vulnerable and taking risks.

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• ME

  MemberOriginal Poster

  Mar 8, 2021

  Yeah, it's just difficult and wears you down to keep reaching out to people that don't care about anyone but themselves. If you dont match their goals, your conversation is doomed before it ever really started. In person all the nudist I have met are open and accepting of all that they talk to. Maybe it's too much to ask of a nudist social media website to expect the same. I remain hopeful.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Mar 8, 2021

  I encourage you to keep on trying. The key to understanding if people care about anyone not matching their goals is to pay close attention to their values. Read between the lines. The poet Maja Angelou once said "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." If you're on a date, that means for example, that how your date treats the bus boy says more about them than how they treat you, because you'll inevitably become the bus boy to them. So listen and get it over with.

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• NE

  

  Neil

  Mar 8, 2021

  I know where you are coming from. I have had the same problem for many years. I just want to meet genuinepeople and have genuine friends but it never works out for me. I'm hoping that I find some new1 friends through this lifestyle

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• ME

  MemberOriginal Poster

  Mar 8, 2021

  Well at the same time you dont want to over react when someone does something that you dont approve of. I like to give people a chance.

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• ME

  Member

  Mar 8, 2021

  You meet people in the REAL World by getting involved in activities that are of interest to you and that you share with others. Having common interests is really fundamental to real friendship.

  Sadly most people today do not know what real friendship is. Loneliness is truly out of control in the USA. So many people are lonely and are are really literally begging for some kindness, compassion, understanding, and basic humanity. I just met an elderly woman the other day in the supermarket and we talked for something like 20 minutes. What an enjoyable conversation. I meet people anywhere and everywhere in REAL life.

  Being on-line is a lazy substitute for going out into the real world to make real friends. Think about what you consider a real friend and then go after it in the real world.

  Sharing nudism is not enough for real friendship. Unfortunately, on-line nudism is full of non-nudists and so you are somewhat doomed from the start. Too many people go on-line to pursue fantasies that are far removed from real life. Hopefully, you will not be one of them.

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• JO

  

  John

  Mar 8, 2021

  Stoneandy wrote: [quote] To be good consumers, we're taught to love things and use people. To be real quality people we need to use things and love people. [/quote] and [quote] If you're on a date, that means for example, that how your date treats the bus boy says more about them than how they treat you, because you'll inevitably become the bus boy to them. [/quote] You know, those are two of the wisest things I've read this month. Good on you! If you've raised your sons that way, they've got a great start on life.

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• JO

  

  John

  Mar 8, 2021

  Sunluver101 wrote;
  
  [quote]I just met an elderly woman the other day in the supermarket and we talked for something like 20 minutes. What an enjoyable conversation. I meet people anywhere and everywhere in REAL life.Being on-line is a lazy substitute for going out into the real world to make real friends. Think about what you consider a real friend and then go after it in the real world.[/quote]
  
  Well said. Unfortunately, in this age of COVID, being online is the ONLY substitute for going out into the real world. So we're all making do with what we've been given. I'm yearning for the day when I can go to club meetings, resorts, campgrounds, and the like, so I can meet people in the flesh rather than on my computer screen.
  
  [quote]Sharing nudism is not enough for real friendship. Unfortunately, on-line nudism is full of non-nudists and so you are somewhat doomed from the start. Too many people go on-line to pursue fantasies that are far removed from real life. Hopefully, you will not be one of them.[/quote]
  
  I've thought of social media as kind of like panning for gold. A lot of water and sand has to go past your pan before you get a nugget or two of real gold. But I have made a few friends here at TN, none of whom I've met in real life. I hope those opportunities will come soon. In the meantime, be yourself, keep your BS meter running and calibrated, and you'll do fine.

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• ME

  MemberOriginal Poster

  Mar 8, 2021

  We cant always meet other nudist in a more natural way both because of covid and even before covid where there are not many places even within driving distance. Money restricts travel perhaps more than covid has. Meeting people online really is like planning for gold, but when their is not much to find fools gold looks good.

  I have met a few people from TN, but in person there is way more connection. I like that despite not being able to be with other nudists, you can still meet and keep in touch with other nudist digitally.

  What I meant about overlook is ignoring your BS meter or letting the BS meter tick a few times before call it quits. In other words, giving people a chance to make things right.

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• ME

  Member

  Mar 8, 2021

  One huge problem here is how many young women are actually old men ( and other fakes, phonies, and frauds) posing as young women. Caveat emptor!

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Mar 9, 2021

  [quote]One huge problem here is how many young women are actually old men ( and other fakes, phonies, and frauds) posing as young women. Caveat emptor![/quote] There are also old men pretending to be young men.

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• ME

  MemberOriginal Poster

  Mar 9, 2021

  Yeah sorting out the fake profiles from the real is annoying. Maybe there should be ID verification using the same ID that is needed for international flight.

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• JO

  

  John

  Mar 9, 2021

  BartlettPear wrote[quote]Yeah sorting out the fake profiles from the real is annoying. Maybe there should be ID verification using the same ID that is needed for international flight.[/quote] Well, there is "Certification" but it's an imperfect tool. It may convince the site owners that you're the real deal, but beyond that, you're on your own. It's perfectly possible, AFAIK, for an old guy to get certified and then tweak his profile to present himself as a young man or a woman. But for those like myself who really want to meet and socialize with other like-minded people, it would be a pointless exercise, since I'd be exposed as a fraud the instant we met face to face.

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• JO

  

  John

  Mar 10, 2021

  Aileron (and I really like that username!) said: [quote] Most of the people I chat with are in other countries, so we're never going to meet in person. If they're good conversationalists, it doesn't really matter to me if they secretly aren't who their profile describes.[/quote] Or, as Kurt Vonnegut wrote: "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be very careful about what we pretend to be."

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• ME

  Member

  Mar 10, 2021

  [quote] Most of the people I chat with are in other countries, so we're never going to meet in person. If they're good conversationalists, it doesn't really matter to me if they secretly aren't who their profile describes.[/quote] My name is Patrick Henry. "Give me liberty, or give me death!" Let's chat about Liberty! More to the point: "People always tend to be someone else" because we seek acknowledgement, acceptance and understanding. To get these, we learn/ copy from others and present ourselves to be seen as part of the accepted society." If you pretend to be an attractive young woman here, you will have instance acceptance and your message in-box will light up like a Christmas tree. If you represent yourself as you truly are which may be an older man, then all the old stereotypes will kick in and you be rejected by most. You would be lucky to get one message reply. The very sad thing in real life is that I constantly speak with older men and women who do indeed fell rejected by society as we are a youth worshiping nation. Yet, so many older people have so much information to share about their life's journey if only someone would give them the chance to engage in conversation. I do and am richly rewarded for doing so. I prefer real life and real people with real experiences.

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• ME

  Member

  Mar 11, 2021

  [quote]I prefer real life and real people with real experiences. I'm not really sure what this has to do with the topic at hand. Interacting with people online doesn't mean you don't also interact with people in person. They aren't mutually exclusive.[/quote] For many people with no social skills, interacting on-line is the only way to have any interaction with anyone - whether that interaction be based upon people who are genuine and represent themselves in an honest manner or with fakes. The topic here is meeting quality people and the best way to do this is in real life where you can much more easily see what you get. It is far too easy to deceive on-line and so people may be just chatting with a bunch of fakes. Some don't care if that is the case just as long as they get a response and a bit of attention. Others prefer genuine people. Fakes are not quality people. Then again everyone has a different interpretation of what 'quality' means.

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• JO

  

  John

  Mar 11, 2021

  UNLUVER101 wrote:[quote] If you pretend to be an attractive young woman here, you will have instance acceptance and your message in-box will light up like a Christmas tree. If you represent yourself as you truly are which may be an older man, then all the old stereotypes will kick in and you be rejected by most. You would be lucky to get one message reply.[/quote] Which informs me that there are two types of people who frequent this board . There are those who are interested in playing a persona and interacting with people using that persona, and attracting interest and "friends" and attention and thereby getting some sort of validation for that persona. They have no interest in personal contact; in fact, they dread it, since it would give their game away. And then there are those who actually use the board as an avenue for communication, to exchange information in the hopes of someday meeting others of like mind. The board is only an imperfect substitute for true personal contact, and they would be happy to meet others in the flesh when given an opportunity to do so. I'm one of the latter. I don't care if I get a single personal message, unless it's directly related to an issue I'm discussing or it presents an opportunity for personal contact (i.e., somebody in my area that I'd like to meet personally once this COVID thing is over). I'm perfectly happy with that arrangement.

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• TE

  

  TeamTrue2

  Apr 5, 2021

  Hello,

  I hope that you do make the connections you are looking for. A few things to share that might help in your search for genuine friends. I have found that some think that because you have nudism in common that's enough. While it's definitely a starting point there has to be more. We have a plethora of groups that our own user's create that cover a broad spectrum of hobbies and interests. We also have groups tailored to the location of the user's which helps local people get together. I would start there and see if anyone shares your common interests and reach out.

  Covid-19 has made it tough for many to go out but with vaccinations rolling out it might be possible to do hikes out and socially distance. The site is a great platform to meet friends but it definitely takes work and having more than nudism in common to make great connections. We've made some great friends on here and it definitely took work and effort but it's worth it if you find your people.

  I hope yo do find yours!

  teamtrue2

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