I`m that old guy in the mirror

On the 12th I turned 33. I don't feel like an old guy but every once in a while you get a slap in the face and you realize you're that old guy. I remember when..that proves you're old. Anyway, I remember when 33 meant you had two feet in the grave and you were just biding your time. Now I can't believe I'm 33. MTV doesn't even make sense anymore. I've seen fads pass only to see them come back again and I still have the clothes. The problem is I never stopped wearing those clothes so I can't pass it off as being cool. I'm the old guy in the members only jacket driving the Trans Am because it was cool in 82 and so it must still be cool now. Right? Anyway, you talk about the slap in the face to wake you up. I was watching television and saw a commercial about life insurance. Normally the actors in those commercials are old. Well, now the guy was my age. I then realized that they are selling life insurance to me, cause I'm old. I see pictures of myself and don't recognize the guy. I think man did I really grow up? Is that me? Do I really have 3 chins? I dress like every other casual old guy. I wear a uniform every day. Not like a would you like fries with that kind of thing. However, I wear a plaid button up shirt, tan pants(usually cargo) and I have a short hair cut. I'm not the obnoxious Hawaiian shirt guy anymore nor am I the jeans and a rude t-shirt guy either. Enga tried to get me to accessorize with a leather bracelet but I'm not that cool. She doesn't think I'm too old to be cool( she's older than me...in denial) but I am. I really don't want to be the parent that is trying to dress like their kid. No kidding if you go to the mall you can see a variety of 30 and 40something women in belly shirts and hot pants. Mmmm vericose veins and stretch marks . I never thought I'd ever be 33. Not that I had a major death wish I just kind of figured I'd remain 21 forever. What does 33 meant to me? I drink too much and it hurts, it takes me longer to heal from an injury and why the hell do I like my food ground up so much? That was a joke. I'm 33. I guess 3+3=6 but I don't want to have to go through Jr. High again. I need to go and have my cheerios so I can lower my cholesterol. Heart attacks can kill 33 year olds ya know!