Nudist resort etiquette: does it keep us safe, or does it keep us repressed?

nudonyOriginal Poster

Nov 5, 2019

I've touched on nudist resort etiquette in the past; and shared my ambivalence about them. This summer my wife and I were at TLR; and as she looked around she suddenly shared an observation with me: "This "no-touching" thing is weird. Especially between partners. It just seems unnatural for people to go out of their way to actually not touch each other."I was floored. Because nearly 20 years ago, my first wife made the same EXACT observation after her third or fourth nudist resort trip. Two completely different women who both expressed the same bewilderment, decades apart, at this aspect of nudist etiquette. And then it brought back some memories (one of my many flashbacks lol!) It was one long week end, where we went to visit a nudist couple at their home. The first evening/next day we just mostly hung out at their home; socially naked outside the conventional nudist social "norms." During that time: the hugs we gave each other when we arrived were "full-body", we huddled up on the couch and sat "cheek-to-cheek" to watch TV, we lounged around in a circle on the floor - in various sitting, squatting or open-legged postures - to play board games, at one point our lady-friend bent over while picking something up and I voiced my admiration that here breasts "defied gravity" in their firmness, my wife complained that she felt she was getting fat - which our male-friend countered by saying her butt looked beautiful before giving her a "cheeky" slap on her cheek; to which my wife responded by pulling his head against her chest and messing up his hair. All this I felt was just natural, jovial interactions between friends who happened to be naked and unashamed. The next day we went to the nudist resort. From the moment we arrived we sort of just went into "nudist resort etiquette mode." Physical contact was kept to a minimum. We were less open. I guess our minds were trained to automatically "click over" at the resort. It just felt very different. Less genuine. That wasn't the only bewilderment my wife expressed this summer. We visited another resort; and from the moment we checked in we were handed a "laundry list" of rules. It was literally an entire page. As our host went over the entire sheet of etiquette, my wife and I looked at each other a bit dumbfounded. Was it all really necessary? It didn't really change our intent to relax and have a good time there; but I couldn't help but think: "What would a TRUE newbie think of all this?" There's a bit of a "cultish" element when the main focus of the introduction is "all the things you CAN'T do", IMHO. I think nudist etiquette can be limited to three "rules": "Sit on a towel at all times", "Don't stare", and "Only naked in the pool and hot-tub." Anything else implies that without guidelines, people will just run wild, groping each other, taking pictures and being salacious. I think most people have enough common sense to know what "bad behavior" is. Thoughts?

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S
S
Apr 12, 2021
Exactly, normal behavior, but there are those who disagree and have told us so.
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ST
StevieLorna
Apr 12, 2021
If you are where no one can see you, whos going to complain?
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S
S
Apr 12, 2021
We made the mistake of mentioning it to a couple we met, man did we get a lecture. notice i said "couple we met", then did not become friends, lol.
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GE
Geoff
Jun 21, 2021
Ive had the situation where in a nudists setting with a group where my then female partner gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek. Very shortly afterwards we were both chastised by the hosts for violating nudist/naturist etiquette. My view of naturist/nudist etiquette is simply DO NOT DO what you would do in any other setting.
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JE
Jerry
Sep 16, 2022
I think the problem stems from most nudists working so extremely hard to define nudists as non-sexual beings, which of course is the furthest from the truth. That is why there are so many topics trying to describe what a nudist is. It truly is much simpler than people what to believe. If you prefer to live life socially and/or alone without clothes as much as possible, then you are a nudist. All other attributes that may also define you (sometimes) are in addition to the fact that you are a nudist. This applies in both directions. On one extreme, I may love to play rugby, which in all practical situations would require clothing. I can do that and still be a nudist. On the other extreme, One might be sexually free and like to swap partners etc, or as we call a swinger. This would require being in a more private setting or venue expecting that behavior. I could still be a nudist. On the other hand, some swingers are NOT nudists. They prefer to wear clothes as they think it is sexier. The point is the the fact that I like to be nude in any setting possible, is what defines me as a nudist. Every other attribute are simply additional attributes that may also define me and I am not everything all the time. This push that nudists want to define the whole of who we are is what I think drives many would be nudists away from the organized nudist movement. I liken it to religion. Many people seek out non denominational churches because they are less pushy about all of the tiny details and if they do not check all of the boxes, then they are not a good Catholic, or Methodist, or whatever denomination. More to the specific point of nudist etiquette, I agree with many that have posted that we give full hugs to our friends and do not really change our behavior from what we do clothed. That includes I might grab my wifes butt and or give a nice kiss etc. I am not opposed to some PDA. I am not saying we stand there and make out, but I think it is healthy to be affectionate with my wife. I believe it is a good example to show the younger ones as they grow up. To be honest it is strange how many married couples I see that are rarely affectionate with each other. They are the same ones that have their man caves to get away or have girls night out etc. My wife and I prefer to do everything possible together simply because we are life partners and like to be with each other. ;-) Finally, read the room. Do what you want to do as long as you are considerate to not being offensive to those around you. That being said, sometimes you have to push the boundaries to test the room as well. You will soon find out what the boundaries are and then be respectful of them. If it does not work for you, then go to a different club next time. ;-)
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