I have been enjoying the clothes free lifestyle for 36 years now. As a resident in Connecticut, my options are very limited here, and as of late try to spend as much time up in Vermont where it isnt frowned upon as much as in other areas local to me. i am very close to just giving up on tryin to find friends in the lifestyle, and/or a female partner. i go to events, participate, swap contact info with other fellow nudists, yet i am always the one chasing people. never does anyone actually reach out to me to make a plan, get together, meet up at any given time. i watch for posts here and when local events in my wheelhouse get planned, i make the effort to attend if possible. to me, in my experience, and opinion, if im not part of a m/f couple, or m/m couple, or gay or bi, i am not worthy of social settings. so basically ,in my area of the united states it seems, being a single, straight male is taboo, and frowned upon. the local resorts to me in CT and RI have made me feel welcome when initially taking my entrance fee, but once inside and mingling with others, i am made to feel very uncomfortable once others realize i am there solo. And not gay i may add. I am almost ,not quite, but almost at the point where i am ready to just give up on the clothing optional/nudist lifestyle in general. Unless i see some sort of effort on others in the lifestyle, in 2026 and beyond, i feel i am done. So to the ones that welcome people like me to group events to chest thump the numbers of people attending said events... takes more than events a couple times a year to make others in the lifestyle feel welcome. We are not just a statistic to add to your event attendance total. If anyone wishes to discuss this in person further with me... i will be attending WBNR/WALK and summer solstice nude hiking day 2026 and any other events/hikes i see posted i can physically attend if the sun/moon/stars align.
Replies
- RIRichOriginal PosterJan 11, 2026
Thanks... been there done that, and continue to do that to this day. just not at clubs anymore. not wasting my money i can use on something more enjoyable for myself.
ReactReply - SC
scrumpJan 11, 2026Im a single male,and am a member of two clubs and attend various eventsI havent had any issues,most club want you to visit a few times to make sure you are the right fit and maybe see if the club is the right fit for yourself too,I believe this is the same for couples and single women.
I try to get on with most folk and have made a few new friends .I believe most clubs like to have a certain ratio of male/female,which is totally understandable and there are far far more single guys than single ladies that try to join
Also unfortunately there are guys out there whose intentions are not exactly purely naturist which only makes things slightly more complicated for us genuine naturistsReactReply - RIRichOriginal PosterJan 11, 2026
Totally agree! I have found my fair share of single males in my travels over the years with not the best of intentions. And sadly, they ruin it for the rest of us with genuine good intentions. Encountered this at Dyer Woods and they actually put up trail cams on the hiking trails to deter, and find and single out the individuals ruining it for the rest of us. They would kick em off the property and ban them if caught. I also encountered this at Empire Haven in NY when it was open a few years ago.
ReactReply - RIRichOriginal PosterJan 11, 2026
Totally agree! I have found my fair share of single males in my travels over the years with not the best of intentions. And sadly, they ruin it for the rest of us with genuine good intentions. Encountered this at Dyer Woods and they actually put up trail cams on the hiking trails to deter, and find and single out the individuals ruining it for the rest of us. They would kick em off the property and ban them if caught. I also encountered this at Empire Haven in NY when it was open a few years ago.
ReactReply - ST
StevieLornaJan 11, 2026Were any of the single males you met called, Guessthelenghtofthis, or Bigenoughforyoumadam?
ReactReply - PA
Please askJan 12, 2026[quote]Were any of the single males you met called, Guessthelenghtofthis, or Bigenoughforyoumadam?[/quote] Why is it that sometimes, even if provoked, some people seek to antagonize? Is there anything (except lack of empathy) proven by this question?ReactReply - STStevieLornaJan 12, 2026
If empathy is given then empathy is reciprocated.
If contempt is shown then respect is withheld.
If avoiding a question is preferred then some sarcasm is warranted.
Disagree if you like, its why debate exists.
ReactReply - RIRichOriginal PosterJan 12, 2026
Thank you
ReactReply - PAPlease askJan 12, 2026[quote]... its why debate exists.[/quote] It strikes me that debate is to convince observers of a position. Too often, especially in the current cultural climate, debaters quickly switch from logic to insult. In fact, the argument looks much weaker when it is degraded to insult rather than by a convincing argument. It's too bad (in this transactional world) that empathy must be received in order to be given. This, in fact, seems to be the antithesis of empathy. Likewise, it's unfortunate that respect for others is dependent on their actions rather than one's own. In my view, degrading another is never warrantedReactReply
- PAPlease askJan 12, 2026[quote]... its why debate exists.[/quote] It strikes me that debate is to convince observers of a position. Too often, especially in the current cultural climate, debaters quickly switch from logic to insult. In fact, the argument looks much weaker when it is degraded to insult rather than by a convincing argument. It's too bad (in this transactional world) that empathy must be received in order to be given. This, in fact, seems to be the antithesis of empathy. Likewise, it's unfortunate that respect for others is dependent on their actions rather than one's own. In my view, degrading another is never warrantedReactReply
- STStevieLornaJan 13, 2026[quote]... its why debate exists. It strikes me that debate is to convince observers of a position. Too often, especially in the current cultural climate, debaters quickly switch from logic to insult. In fact, the argument looks much weaker when it is degraded to insult rather than by a convincing argument. It's too bad (in this transactional world) that empathy must be received in order to be given. This, in fact, seems to be the antithesis of empathy. Likewise, it's unfortunate that respect for others is dependent on their actions rather than one's own. In my view, degrading another is never warranted[/quote] As youve quoted me Ill assume your comments are directed at me. If you read my opening post to the OP, you will read in the first line I showed empathy. I then tried to explain our experiences from the opposite view of his own, using our wide travels to emphasise that experience. This was met with utter contempt from him. If someone on a nudist website calls himself Take A Ruler To It, then I think its a legitimate question to ask what it means. Does not you?ReactReply
- JO
JohnJan 18, 2026StevieLorna wrote: [quote]If empathy is given then empathy is reciprocated. If contempt is shown then respect is withheld. If avoiding a question is preferred then some sarcasm is warranted. Disagree if you like, its why debate exists.[/quote] Agree with the first two statements, but not the third. Some people will avoid a question because they find it personally sensitive to them. (If I had been raped as a child, the question "Why can't we be closer friends?" might trigger some associations that are better left untouched. So my reaction might well be to avoid the question.) In this case, the empathy has to be given by you.ReactReply - STStevieLornaJan 18, 2026[quote] Agree with the first two statements, but not the third. Some people will avoid a question because they find it personally sensitive to them. ([/quote] I agree with you Woodsman, but I was asking a very specific question about his name. Nothing to do with any deeper personal childhood trauma. The name, TakeARuleToIt, I was asking what the It was he wanted measured? If its his chosen name to be known by here I think its a legitimate question, which was avoided.ReactReply