font size="2"On their wedding night, the young bride Jodie, approached her new Husband Marvin and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, Marvin readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more Than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find Marvin in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that CalTrans was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid Anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined. Calmly, Jodie handed him a bank book which showed more than Thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, Marvin was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my Business!
That's when she shot him. You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their Mouths shut.
/fontReplies
- MEMemberOct 4, 2008
Good one Swifty and right on time considering the financial ruin this country is facing at the moment. Hopefuly we'll know when to keep our mouths shut when the time is right. LOL
ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 5, 2008[quote]Good one Swifty and right on time considering the financial ruin this country is facing at the moment. Hopefuly we'll know when to keep our mouths shut when the time is right. LOL[/quote] LOL! Thanks mate and the economic problems you guys are facing didn't even enter my mind, but I can see it now. lol I guess I should've said this is my work daily joke thread, as all my jokes are on my work e-mail and can only add to it during the work day. Yeah, yeah, I'm a slack worker.
ReactReply - MEMemberOct 5, 2008
Yeah don't want to hijack your thread for a political statement but if our government saved a dime for every time they have fucked us we'd be set right now LOL
ReactReply - PH
PhilfreeeukOct 5, 2008Please, .......Language Timothy, Language !!!OK, own up, She's here, so, ...... WHO told her ?
What's the plan, Coventry from the outset ?
ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 6, 2008lol...No worries about going off topic, as it really is on topic with the joke in a roooound about way. ;) I don't know, considering my own financial mess, I can't give the government too much grief over theirs. ;) Anyways, back to the jokes! div div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt]RETIREMENT BONUS[/size]/font /div /div div style="min-height: 14px;" div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="3"/font /div /div div div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"span class="EC_EC_ececapple-converted-space"font face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt] [/size]/font/spanfont size="4"[size= 13.5pt]If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired![/size]/font /div /div div style="min-height: 14px;" div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="3"/font /div /div div div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"span class="EC_EC_ececapple-converted-space"font face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt] [/size]/font/spanfont size="4"[size= 13.5pt]The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.[/size]/font /div /div div style="min-height: 14px;" div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="3"/font /div /div div div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt]The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.[/size]/font /div /div div style="min-height: 14px;" div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="3"/font /div /div div div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt]The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his out stretched hands to his toes,He walked out with $96,000.[/size]/font /div /div div style="min-height: 14px;" div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="3"/font /div /div div div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt]The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief [/size]/fontfont face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt]who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."[/size]/font /div /div div style="min-height: 14px;" div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="3"/font /div /div div div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt]It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by [/size]/fontfont face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt]a medical officer.[/size]/font /div /div div style="min-height: 14px;" div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="3"/font /div /div div div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt]The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," [/size]/fontfont face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt]which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.[/size]/font /div /div div style="min-height: 14px;" div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="3"/font /div /div div div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt]"Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"[/size]/font /div /div div div p class="EC_EC_MsoNormal"font face="Times New Roman" size="4"[size= 13.5pt]The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."[/size]/font /div /divReactReply
- SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 6, 2008
lol...Well, guess I can't copy and paste everything now, can I? Unfortuantely for me, this joke is a good one, so I will type it out manually. Sorry folks, please bear with me as I'm still trying to figure this site out, including all it's funny little quirks. ;)
Retirement Bonus
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his out stretched hands to his toes, he walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."
It was suggest by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old CHief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to, "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.
"Dear Lord!" he suddenly explaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 7, 2008
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the street with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you dressed like this?'
The Cowboy says:
'Well it's like this Sheriff ... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt so I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to take off my pants ... so I did.
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts .. so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy... ', and here I am.'
Son of a Gun, Blond Men do exist.ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 7, 2008To quote Dogma, God has a sense of humour, I mean, look at the Duck Billed Platepus if you don't believe me! :PReactReply
- SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 7, 2008[quote]
To quote Dogma, God has a sense of humour, I mean, look at the Duck Billed Platepus if you don't believe me! :P[/quote] Hehe...that didn't work out, which is probably just as well. How do you post a picture?
ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 7, 2008
PECANS IN THE CEMETERY
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.
One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree,
out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,'said one boy.
Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle.
As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery.
He slowed down to investigate.
Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me.
One for you, one for me.'
He just knew what it was.
He jumped back on his bike and rode off.
Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard!
Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.'
The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.
' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me.
One for you, one for me.'
The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth.
Let's see if we can see the Lord.'
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything.
The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter
as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me.
That's all.
Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.'
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.
SMILE, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 8, 2008
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 1)
A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Ralphy.
He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'
Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2)
Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
'Why?' asks the father?
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.
'But that's right!' says his dad.
'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
'What's the f...... difference?' asks the father.
'That's what I said!'
LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH
Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful.'
Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR
Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.
All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'
The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'
Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if
you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.
'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f...... beautiful!''
LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER
Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own f....... business.ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 9, 2008
A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. THE BLONDE REPLIES, 'I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.'
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE PILOT SAYS, 'YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS; I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE.
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, 'OH, I'M SORRY.' AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT IS AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO '.ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 10, 2008
While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a
Woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with
A radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with
That classic patronizing smirk we all know and love,
Asked, 'What's your hurry?'
To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'
'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger,
Then work my way up to two fingers, then three,
Then four, then with my whole hand in. I work
From side to side until I can get both hands in,
And then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's
About 6 feet.'
'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot
Asshole?' he asked
'You give him a radar gun and park him behind
A bridge.'
Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face - PRICELESS!ReactReply - TH
ThomasOct 11, 2008Bank Robber
div
table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"
tbody
tr
td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"
p style="margin-bottom: 12pt;" A spanman with a gun/span went into a bank
and demanded their money.
Once he was given the money,
he turned to a customer and asked,
"Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber then shot him, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing
next to him and asked the man,
"Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied,
"No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
/td
/tr
/tbody
/table
/divReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 12, 2008
Two men were driving through Saskatchewan when they got pulled over by an RCMP officer. The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolled down the window, and WHACK, the cop smacked him in the head with his nightstick.
"What the hell was that for?" the driver asked.
"You're in Saskatchewan son,"the cop answered. "When we pull you over in Saskatchewan, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car."
"I'm sorry officer," the driver said, "I'm not from around here."
The cop runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean, and gives the guy his license back. The cop then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window, and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
"What'd you do that for?" the passenger demands.
"Just making your wish come true," replied the cop.
"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked.
"Because I know your type," the cop says, "two miles down the road, you're gonna turn to your buddy and say, 'I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me!'"ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 13, 2008
Ouch:::! Tha's gotta hurt.
A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed
appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.
However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in
his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors
hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his
hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so
uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips
of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily.
Written in large black letters was the sentence:
'Get well soon...from the nurse in the Jeep you pulled over last week.'ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 13, 2008
NEW SUNBURN TREATMENT: This Sounds like a good procedure to
relieve the pain. A guy fell asleep on the beach for several
hours and got Horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper
legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly
admitted after being Diagnosed with second-degree burns.With
his skin already starting to Blister, and the severe pain he
was in, the doctor prescribed continuous Intravenous feeding
with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill
Every four hours.The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked,
'What good Will Viagra do for him, doctor'?
The doctor replied, 'It won't Do anything for his condition, But it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'ReactReply - MEMemberOct 13, 2008
The cowboy and the city boy one was great. Now give me back my dog HAHAHAHAHAH
ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 13, 2008
Impetuous Youth
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to
your leader.'
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.'
'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.
'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 13, 2008
Well, since I'm so close to a century, I'm going to bring over some of the jokes that I've posted on NS. Hehe...I want to see what happens and since this forum isn't all that busy, I need something to post!
A drunken man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a
priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red
lipstick, and a half empty bottle of WHISKEY was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and
began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say,
Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replied, "My Son, it's caused
by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a
contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack
of a bath."
The drunk muttered his response, "Well, I'll be damned," then returned
to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the
man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong.
How long have you had arthritis?"
The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here
that the Pope does."ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 13, 2008
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette-sprinkled cookies wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom. With even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame and gazed into the kitchen.
Were if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite anisette-sprinkled cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted, meticulous and organized love of his Italian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife......
"Back off!" she said, "They're for the funeral."ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 13, 2008
For all of you in education, with sons, grandsons, or who just
love the things little kids say ~ a reminder that adult words are often
taken literally.....
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on.
He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been
circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to
telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.
He did and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.
She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his
'private part' hanging out.
'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said.
'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon,
she'd come and pick me up from school.ReactReply - SWSwifthawkOriginal PosterOct 13, 2008
Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. 'Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.'
Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Carol's mother asked her if she thought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, of course, thought she did.
Carol's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted her to reflect on her behavior over the last year, and write a letter to God and tell him why she deserved a bike for her birthday. Little Carol stomped up the steps to her room and sat down to write God a letter.
LETTER #1:
Dear God:
I have been a very good girl this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Carol
Carol knew this wasn't true. She had not been a very good girl this year, so she tore up the letter and started over.
LETTER # 2:
Dear God:
This is your friend Carol. I have been a pretty good girl this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you,
Carol
Carol knew this wasn't true either. She tore up the letter and started again.
LETTER #3:
Dear God:
I know I haven't been a good girl this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good girl if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you,
Carol
Carol knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get her a bike. By now, she was very upset. She went downstairs and told her mother she wanted to go to church Carol's mother thought her plan had worked because Carol looked very sad. 'Just be home in time for dinner,' her mother said. Carol walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. She looked around to see if anyone was there. She picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary, slipped it under her jacket and ran out of the church, down the street, into her house, and up to her room. She shut the door and sat down and wrote her letter to God.
LETTER # 4:
I GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.
Signed,
YOU KNOW WHOReactReply - THThomasOct 14, 2008[color=#000080] [/color]divPolice Dept. Applicant Test /div div /div div /div divA man, having applied to join the, police force, is being interviewed. /div div /div divThe Chief says, 'your qualifications are first-class but there is one test that you must pass before I can recruit you.' /div div /div divSliding a small bag across the desk, he continues, 'Take this gun with 13 bullets, and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six Obama delegates and a rabbit.' /div div /div divThe man asks, 'Why the rabbit?' /div div /div div'Fantastic attitude!' says the Chief, 'When can you start?'/div div /divReactReply