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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 19, 2012{Did you ever wonder why all Yoga Studios smell the way they do?}
Want to know?
While lying on your back slowly bring both of your knees slowly to your chest. oops
Repeat. oops.
30 or 40 people doing the same thing day in and day out.
Breathe deep y'allReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 20, 2012I tried to get my ex to do it doggie style, she said ok,
but in her version I sit up and beg while she rolls over and plays dead.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 22, 2012Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.ReactReply - MA
ManOfWicklowJul 22, 2012[quote]Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
[/quote]Or have a sausage between two buns.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 22, 2012SURPRISE sex is the BEST way to wake up...unless you're in prison.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 23, 2012My ex kept bugging me to buy her a mink. Finally I said okay, on one condition. You'll have to clean the cage.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 25, 2012You can always depend on a true friend to be honest with you. I hate that shit.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 26, 2012A marriage counselor told my ex, "If you love him let him go, if he's smart he wont come back."ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJul 26, 2012A middle-aged married couple filed a divorce and are currently fighting about a child custody in front of the judge. A woman presents all of her arguments to keep the child, including the famous sentences: I brought this child to the world. He grew inside me, I took care of him from the beginning.
But the man didnt give up, so judge asked him to provide arguments of his own. After a little thought he asked the judge: Your honor, if I put a quarter in a vending machine and a can of Pepsi comes out who is the owner of the can? Me or the machine.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJul 27, 2012[quote]EDIT PLEASE
[/quote]A fact is that a circle of life should not be like it is at the moment. The path of life should go in the opposite direction as we know it from older years to birth (and beyond).
At first, anyone should experience death.
Then you should go to home of the elderly.
They would throw you out, because you would be too young.
You would start to collect your pension money, retire and start to work.
Then you would have to work for 40 years, until you are young enough to attend high school lectures.
During your study you would party hard all the time.
After you would become tired of it all, you would go to elementary school, and kinder garden afterward
When youd leave kinder garden, you would stay at home with your parents.
Now, theres nine months of luxury in front of you: All you can eat, central heating, sleeping all the time
And you would finish your existance with an orgasm.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 27, 2012Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJul 27, 2012[quote]Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
[/quote]You only ever have one birthday. After that, you have birthday anniversaries.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 27, 2012[quote][quote]Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
[/quote]You only ever have one birthday. After that, you have birthday anniversaries.[/quote]Not if you believe in re-incarnation.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJul 27, 2012[quote][quote][quote]Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
[/quote]You only ever have one birthday. After that, you have birthday anniversaries.[/quote]Not if you believe in re-incarnation.
[/quote]I have a lot of deahead flowers in my garden.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 27, 2012Ahhhh, OK?ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 27, 2012I was always taught to respect my elders, but I haven't seen one lately.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 1, 2012A computer kept beating me at chess, but not at kick boxing.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 1, 2012All you need to know about men and women.
Women are crazy and men are stupid.
And the main reason women are crazy is because men are stupid.ReactReply - EV
EvansBetterHalfAug 1, 2012"Back then, the entire Internet consisted of two slow, boxcar-sized UNIVAC computers about 50 feet apart, connected by a wire. It would take one of these computers an entire day to send an email to the other one, which would immediately delete it, because it was a Viagra ad." - Dave Barry
ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowAug 1, 2012
[img src="http://qwertytutorials.com/misc/site_graphics/computer_airbag.jpg">
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 1, 2012Women going topless in New York has been legal since 1992,
but it is not accepted by all.
The problem is men are stupid.
"I didn't see the bus officer, I saw tits."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 2, 2012Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 3, 2012I just read a report that says 25% of women in this country
are on medication for mental illness, which is scary;
it means 75% are running around with no medication at all...!ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowAug 3, 2012Those 75 % are the ones on this site.ReactReply