Terminology *Bisexual*

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• RO

  

  Rod

  Apr 2, 2020

  My most accurate label would be polysexual. No matter who I'm having sex with I just call it sex. The only labels I put on it are good sex or bad sex. And even then there's levels to it.

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• ME

  Member

  Apr 21, 2020

  Sometimes I enjoy kiwi, and sometimes I enjoy mixed berries, however, sometimes I combine them all and call it fruit salad!
  As some of the other responses mentioned, it makes more sense for one to refer to themself as bi-sexual when there are at least two people of the same sex engaging sexually with each other along with at least one person of the opposite sex in the moment. Otherwise, sex is more likely considered to be hetero or homo.
  I prefer to keep it very simple as a being who is ...sexual, although that might harbor too much mystery for some folks who like to keep sexuality in neatly wrapped boxes.

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• JI

  

  jim

  May 30, 2020

  IF I DECIDE I WANT SOMEONE TO SUCK MY COCK I DO NOT CARE IF ITS A GIRL OR BOY OR BOTH SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

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• JO

  

  Jonathan

  May 30, 2020

  Dunno but could you maybe decide it without shouting? We're not deaf.

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• JA

  

  Jason

  Jul 29, 2020

  I'm confused as why a label is needed.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Jul 30, 2020

  I agree with nudistdad: "I do believe that it's getting to the silly stage with multiple choice descriptive classifications."

  It's a bit like the artificial construct of ethnicity. If I like eating pizza, does that make me Italian? How long has the term bisexual even existed? Not very long. The term homosexual didn't come into being until the 1860's at the dawn of the industrial revolution and a blink in the history of humankind. It's not that homosexuality didn't exist until then, but the shift came in viewing it as an identity rather than just a behavior. It's kind of like being right dominant. I'm not very fluid with my left hand, but if my right hand is not available I wipe my ass with my left hand, I don't consider it an identify shift.

  I believe in only one sexuality for men: masculine. I believe that mankind's and especially men's greatest gift to survive and evolve is based on adaptabilty to changing environments. That's why I don't give the sexual spectrum much credence. It's more a sexual matrix where sexuality is defined by biology, relationship and bonding. I see homosexuality as natural and a societal need that men without children contribute to the survival of a tribe. The labels we use today may help us develop authenticity, and they certainly help others to categorize us, but I don't think they help me personally.

  So sexual prefixing is getting silly. I love the sun on my naked body but don't need to come out as solarsexual. However, I honor others' identities as they wish. If someone has sex with a man and a woman, calling it bisexual or good at multitasking is their call.

  In regards to gender orientation, I'm evolving to accept and honor however a person chooses to define theirs. Is it a threat to my children or society if someone enters the "other" bathroom? Well, it's a bigger threat if they have to shit and piss all over, either figuratively or literally.

  Human sexuality is a beautiful, unique gift and each sexual fingerprint is different from the rest. If we survive as a species without aging out or killing each other, it's serving its purpose, isn't it?

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• JA

  

  Jason

  Aug 19, 2020

  [quote Human sexuality is a beautiful, unique gift and each sexual fingerprint is different from the rest. If we survive as a species without aging out or killing each other, it's serving its purpose, isn't it?[/quote] Well said! I'm getting very tired of labels. No need to put folks in a box that defines them.

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• GU

  

  Guzzi27

  Aug 19, 2020

  Why all the need for labels, straight sex, gay sex, bi sex. In the end you are having sex with the partner if your choice, that is all. It is sex, irrespective of your gender or their gender.
  I acknowledge the desire for terms such as gay, bi, straight etc in terms of sexuality but when it comes to sex then it is sex full stop. No need to label it.

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• JO

  

  John

  Sep 1, 2020

  [quote] As a world, we have a long way to go before we embrace tolerance and ditch these old-fashioned attitudes.[/quote] There you go. Dreaming again. All I can say is that we seem to be approaching that ideal world, with baby steps. There have been setbacks, with religious fundamentalists trying to drag us back to medieval times, but still and all, we're closer to that world than we were five hundred years ago.

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• JA

  

  James

  Sep 6, 2020

  To be honest, I'm not sure what I am in terms of sexuality (think that's spelt but hey) My wife claims to be straight but she's Polish and I think she's afraid to come out as the Polish are very hostile towards anything that isn't, well, Polish. Me, I think I'm very curious, bi curious whatever that means. Shouldn't it be gay curious?

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• RA

  

  Randy

  Oct 11, 2020

  I have known I was bisexual since I was young, probably as early as 10-11. It is only recently that I started going by the term queer. I feel that much better fits me regardless of who I am in a relationship with

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Nov 1, 2020

  Looking back on this post that started a year ago, I realize I was stupid in not getting the OP's point that sex can either be either homosexual/gay or heterosexual/straight depending on the gender of the two individuals. I believe my block came from confusing behavior and identity which is a result of how emotionally loaded sexual terms are in society. I call myself right handed but have no qualms picking up something witih my left hand withhout challenging the right handed identity. Why? Because there's no dominant hand phobia in my society, but there is homophobia. In that way, I respect the OP's point to call sexual behavior for what they are: gay or straight.
  Identfinying people with sexual pronouns is something I have a harder time with. I accept other's definition of themselves even as I question the need for them. I prefer to think of men's sexuality in a broader context: masculine. My definition of masculine doesn't have a spectrum, a macho scale or body hair count. It stems from having external gentalia, whereas women's is internal. In this regard I see men's sexuality and by extension as primarily externalized, whereas a woman's is more internalized. This is not absolute, for men and women have aspects of both.
  This view makes me consider sexuality a social construct, though I am still evolving in seeing gender as fluid. which is a separate issue. I recognize some men are truly bisexual in their attraction or ambidexterous in their hand coordination. Outside of the realms of gender fluidity, I accept that sex as an act is either heterosexual/straight or homosexual/gay. However, with my view sexuality as a spirit, and by extension an identity, fails to be confined to silos or labels. I'll respect it all for what it is: a gift of something greater then me, from a higher power called God and many other names, and it's all good.

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• OL

  

  Olly

  Nov 1, 2020

  I get the OP's point that sex is either straight or gay depending on the gender of the partner. Sexuality is something different. A straight person will only want sex with the opposite gender and a gay person will want it with their own gender.A Bi person wants both.My mantra is "why cut out half the population when I can be friendly with everyone?"

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Nov 1, 2020

  [quote]I couldnt care less what peoples sexual preferences are. Its their business not any of mine. Its also got nothing to do with preferring to sunbathe without clothes.[/quote] Dont often quote myself, but it says it all really.

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• J

  

  J

  Jan 22, 2023

  m

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• WI

  

  wildnude

  Mar 11, 2023

  Agree, as a bisexual man, I am having straight sex nowadays. I used to have gay sex when I did it with dudes.

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• DA

  

  David

  Mar 20, 2023

  well said

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• JO

  

  John

  Mar 21, 2023

  Ricky wrote: [quote]There is no such thing as "the gay lifestyle". [/quote] In one sense, that's true. But the term has been used for community activities in areas where gay people participated, as in San Francisco in the 1970s or Berlin in the 1920s or Paris in the century before that. It was the freedom to act without the legal and cultural restraints that prevented such activity elsewhere. The "gay lifestyle" in San Francisco included bath houses and drag shows and parades and such. When such constraints disappear, so does the lifestyle, except that some gay people prefer to socialize with other gay people, particularly in situations where sex is likely to happen. I don't know if you could call it a "lifestyle," though.

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• ST

  

  Steve

  Mar 22, 2023

  "Gay Lifestyle" is a rather freighted political term, brought into circulation by gay rights opponents to argue against the idea of homosexuality as something intrinsic to the person. This is generally recognized in the gay community - consider the tag line: "It's not a lifestyle, it's a life." This from GLAAD, who have retreated into an acronym for what used to be something like Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation:Lifestyle(see Terms to Avoid) Inaccurate term used by anti-LGBTQ activists to denigrate LGBTQ people and inaccurately imply that being LGBTQ is a voluntary or a choice. As there is no one straight lifestyle, there is no one LGBTQ lifestyle.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Mar 22, 2023

  [quote]This from GLAAD, who have retreated into an acronym for what used to be something like Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation: Lifestyle (see Terms to Avoid) Inaccurate term used by anti-LGBTQ activists to denigrate LGBTQ people and inaccurately imply that being LGBTQ is a voluntary or a choice. As there is no one straight lifestyle, there is no one LGBTQ lifestyle.[/quote] Thanks this is worth a review to stay informed at https://www.glaad.org/reference/terms. Here's a new one for me: SOGIESC; acronym for sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression, and sex Question: is the term "gay culture" acceptable? Example: In my old neighborhood, the gay culture helped local theatres and independently owned restaurants to flourish.

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• BI

  

  Bill

  Mar 22, 2023

  A helpful quote - thank you Steve.

  My life experience has shifted in recent years and now my sweetie and I live full time in a nude community, where there tends to be a large percentage of folks who do not conform to many of the commonly-quoted societal rules, and specifically concerning sexuality, since that is the topic at hand. The perception that homosexuals having a greater variety of sexual partners probably comes from leftover stigma attached to what used to be considered aberrant behavior, as opposed to what it is -- the following of one's innate desires. Being openly bi or gay in some areas of the world is still illegal and can bring the death penalty in some countries. I feel as thought modern thinkers now (thankfully) ignore the perception of promiscuity inside the LGBTQ+ community, and I'll venture this school of thought is even more prevalent inside the 'counter-culture' at nudist and naturist locales.

  Behind closed doors (and on the internet), I'm know some backward thinkers still titter away about the loose morals of 'them homos', but then I live in circles where that's not going to be tolerated in open conversation and has no place in private ones. Some of the religiously-devout search their sacred texts for words which in translation support these out-of-touch beliefs. Some may even suggest a gay/bi person can be re-programmed to be straight! Good fucking riddance to that ridiculous falsehood - if I live to see its end.

  To give a stir to the cauldron of discussion (mostly put to rest in the majority of minds here) that there is 'choice' involved in homosexuality and its brothers & sisters of sexual identity: If one uses the letter Q when describing one's self, I've read it can stand for Questioning or Queer somewhat interchangeably. Correction requested if I'm not up-to-date on these facts, but with some of my tentative research saying that Q was begun to be used in this salad of letters concerning identifiers by the alternative sexuality community around 1996, either word does work.

  'Questioning' can reference a person who is in flux about this utterly personal point of view, meaning that at the root of using the letter Q for themselves, there is choice, this fact regardless of whether they will ever make it. And there's not a damned thing wrong with that lack of choosing - it is theirs to make - or to not make. Nevertheless, it is by definition something being internally- (and sometimes eternally-) questioned by the individual, and as such, there is preference involved.

  Further, it is everyone's choice whether they care to share their life's direction with regard to their sexuality and how it may interact with other people. There's where I think many get confused on the use of the word 'choice'. No one need know who you find sexually-appealing, and not knowing that aspect of a person's psyche when a conversation is struck up can keep that discussion quite edgy and entertaining (and possibly confusing as well). Who the heck cares if you are looking for a partner until you decide to bring it up? It could be that you never talk to anyone who you don't have the intention of trying to bed. Know that some of us are not interested in your pursuit of a life full of lovemaking or orgasms for pleasure, or whether you even find any pleasure in using your sexual organs for anything other than the expulsion of urine. Try to look inside the body and mind instead of only seeing the viewable parts; you might be surprised at what can come from deeper than that external view.

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• ST

  

  Steve

  Mar 22, 2023

  [quote]Question: is the term "gay culture" acceptable? Example: In my old neighborhood, the gay culture helped local theatres and independently owned restaurants to flourish.[/quote] Yes, it is (says he who is for the moment pretending to speak for All Gay-dom). Even though it's a near-synonym, these things do carry their history with them, and "gay culture" came out of the gay movement itself, as part of an effort to reclaim / recreate a collective identity and history. It can fairly be said that there isn't one monolithic "gay culture" either, but culture is a very broad thing, gathering bits and pieces as it goes, and can serve as a resource and backdrop for many very different sorts of lives.

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• ME

  Member

  Mar 22, 2023

  [quote]But when you are fully bi male and you share your weekly conquests of men as a man, and you call that bi sex, that's ridiculous. There is no woman there. No matter how many women you slept with before the man, the mansex is still gay sex. .[/quote]
  
  If I were ever going to "kiss and tell", I just call it sex. I can clarify if necessary by adding "with a man" if the person I was talking to didn't already know who I was with.
  I always thought that the sexuality identifiers, (gay, bi, queer, straight) only described the person's sexuality, not the sex act. Generally you'd assume a straight person would have sex with someone of the opposite. But not always. A gay with another of the same sex, but not always. And a bisexual to have sex with either or both. Isn't a blow job always a blow job?

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• WI

  

  WindyCityNkd

  Mar 22, 2023

  [quote]I've seen this a staggering number of times now, so I am writing a little post about it. When you are bisexual, it means that you are attracted on some level to both men and women. When you are in a relationship of any kind that is heterogeneous, that is a heterosexual relationship in which one person is str8 or bi, and the other is bi. If you are in a homogenous relationship of any kind, that is a homosexual relationship. One Gay man and one bi man are not having bi sex. It's gay sex. It may seem piddling, but we already have bi-curious, thinking about bi-curious, in the condo next to the train to I can't believe it's not bi-curious, all of which seek to help the user avoid the stigma of dude on dude sex. That's a luxury and one that I don't begrudge folks. But when you are fully bi male and you share your weekly conquests of men as a man, and you call that bi sex, that's ridiculous. There is no woman there. No matter how many women you slept with before the man, the mansex is still gay sex. Have the cojones to support the dudes you had sex with by calling what it is.[/quote] I identify as bisexual because it is the least inaccurate description available on these social media sites. At one time, I identified as gay because I was having sex exclusively with men. Over the years, I have come to realize that I am also attracted to women, so I changed my "label" on these websites. Labeling one's own sexual orientation can serve multiple purposes - to explain to others your sexual orientation; to further the social awareness of rights due to a group; or to help one feel as though they "belong" to a particular group. However, I think it is problematic to label the sexual orientation of others - or to tell them that the label they have chosen is wrong. For one thing, one person cannot possibly know another's sexual orientation with any degree of certainty (as far as I know, Vulcan mind melds are fictional). For another, it is simply rude to force a label on others or tell them that they label they have chosen is wrong. Instead of forcing labels upon others or judging them for the labels they have chosen to describe themselves, I suggest we might encourage people to explore their own sexuality, and to be honest with themselves. It's not necessary that they disclose those contemplations to the rest of us, but it is important that they discover who they are and what they like.

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