Being a gay man at a primarily straight resort

Replies

• RI

  

  Rick

  Aug 9, 2023

  I've had great times at 'mixed' reosrts. I feel very comfortable, and yes, I enjoy the fact that the sexual tension issues tend to be less. That said, I've been approached many times by apparently bisexual men who identified me as a potential partner. Beyond that, the sexual tension among the straight people can be uncomfortable.

  Adults should act respectably in whatever venue they visit!

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• GE

  

  George

  Aug 9, 2023

  I have enjoyed attending both kinds of resorts. Yes, the gay ones usually have a bit of sexual tension, but it is not always that way. It all depends on why we go in the first place. If we want to relax, we just relax.

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• JO

  

  Jorgi

  Aug 9, 2023

  I've never been to a gay resort, just mixed ones. I've been on gay getaways, but they have always been very relaxing affairs. I wouldn't enjoy going somewhere where I might be hit upon.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Aug 10, 2023

  In my experience most straight resorts are mostly straight because they restrict single males regardless of orientation. So the issue I find is not your orientation but that you're a scary solo penis carrier. Of course that varies from region to region. I identify as straight and respect most gay men as more open, articulate, creative and spiritual. I believe all men are essentially the same in this regard, but some - often heterodivergent - are more comfortable showing it than others.

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Aug 10, 2023

  Ive never been to a straight resort so I cant comment on what they are like or who they restrict.

  I can say that , one of the resorts we were regulars at was owned and run by two lovely guys.

  They also owned two other naturist resorts and one of those was exclusively for gay men.

  There were a few gay men in the group of friends at our resort, I asked one if hed been to the exclusively gay resort. He vigorously shook his head and said that that wasnt his scene. He didnt explain and I didnt ask as it was obvious what he was eluding to.

  There is a place for everyone . Im off to research Straight nudist resorts.

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• EA

  

  EarlD

  Aug 10, 2023

  I believe it varies from place to place and person to person. Some venues are still hung up on things like sexual orientation as are some people. However the larger venues focus on behavior not sexual orientation. At my regular venue there are gay men, who are members. I have observed visitors who are lesbian, and transgender. Again no issues around sexual orientation, since that is not a focus.

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• KE

  

  kev

  Aug 10, 2023

  I think it is a double edge sword. Being gay or straight has nothing really to do with any place. the so called straight resorts don't allow single men but will allow single and bisexual or lesbian women and never say a thing about it. yes there are more nudist men, than women.

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• TA

  

  Taller

  Aug 10, 2023

  I am thinking the straight resorts also have sexual tension, you're just oblivious to it as a gay man. At least, that's what happens to me. I've had a straight couple chat me up once, and I am just thinking they are nice folks. But then I found their online ad looking for a male third for MMF encounters. As I rewound the footage of our interaction in my head, I recall some subtle comments, compliments, casual touches, and I was like "OOHHHHH.... that's what that was...maybe?!" I am just oblivious to women in a sexual way, so it went right over my head at the time.
  
  My hot take... a lot of straight resorts have some degree of swinger vibe happening. I'm not saying all folks there are swingers, but a lot of swingers are nudists ... as evidenced by this site having a sister site for swingers, and A LOT of people have profiles on both. And that's all good. But again... nudists are sexual people also, so to suggest there's no sexual tension at a straight resort is way to simple. It's just not on your radar.
  
  Anyway... I've also been to a lot of gay resorts all over the country as well. There is often sexual tension, for sure, because men in general are just more overt, but all the resorts I've been to are pretty clear about keeping sexual activity in private or there's a "nature trail" where it's just known thats where you go to have fun. Some even have a play-barn of some sort. It's all fun n games, and if that's not your thing, don't go to that area of camp.

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• TD

  

  Tom D

  Aug 11, 2023

  Along the same line, I went to a men only clothing optional primarily gay club because wanted to work out, sun and swim nude. I avoided the sauna and steam room because I heard that there was a lot of sexual activity there.

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• BI

  

  BiNudeBeachSD

  Aug 11, 2023

  Hanging with Gay Males usually isn't a problem unless anyone is being overtly sexual. Most of the Gays in my various groups at the beach were not acting out in that way..

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• ME

  Member

  Aug 11, 2023

  Why bring your sexuality into a nude resort. A man is a man a woman is a woman regardless of their sexuality. Just enjoy people fir you they are. Unless your one objective is sex.

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• KO

  

  koala53

  Aug 11, 2023

  Bit of a rubbish subject. Never mind what goes on in your head, what do you do about being a vegetarian or possibly being a clone from some alien race? If it bothers you to know who you are, get it tattooed on your forehead and we'll all know to leave you alone.

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• BE

  

  Benjamin

  Aug 11, 2023

  Very few "straight" resorts allow solo men. So for a lot of us straight solo guys, the only option is at a gay men's resort. The assumption there is that all men present are gay. But get talking for a while, and you'll be surprised how many straight married men are there just looking for a relaxing place to shed their clothes for a bit. Sexual tension only exists to the point you're willing to respond. If you're truly not interested, the other party, in this case a man on the prowl, will move on quickly to find a more receptive target, or will adjust his expectations. Tension released.

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• JO

  

  Jorgi

  Aug 12, 2023

  [quote]Why bring your sexuality into a nude resort. A man is a man a woman is a woman regardless of their sexuality. Just enjoy people fir you they are. Unless your one objective is sex.[/quote] Possibly because people do bring their sexuality along. Nudist resorts of hardly full of pure people, as much as we might like.

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• MC

  

  Mcdcvs

  Aug 12, 2023

  [quote] Possibly because people do bring their sexuality along. Nudist resorts of hardly full of pure people, as much as we might like.[/quote] Its not a matter of being pure, its a matter of separating nudity from sexuality. There are several gay couples at my all inclusive with a male female quota resort. Their sexual preference didnt come up in conversation and the only way you knew is when they introduce you to their partner. When I go to all male nude mandatory saunas, some men walk around erect or semi erect. Its not enough to keep me from going but I do now avoid the steam showers.

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• EA

  

  EarlD

  Aug 12, 2023

  [quote] Its not a matter of being pure, its a matter of separating nudity from sexuality. There are several gay couples at my all inclusive with a male female quota resort. Their sexual preference didnt come up in conversation and the only way you knew is when they introduce you to their partner. [/quote] This is a really important point. But I did read an article recently that suggested there is a difference in the way nudity is approached in the gay community from how nudity is in the social nudism community. I will try to hunt down the link and post but that may be the reason for the difference of opinion about sexuality at nudist venues.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Aug 12, 2023

  [quote]Possibly because people do bring their sexuality along. Nudist resorts of hardly full of pure people, as much as we might like.[/quote] Why is nudism so anti-sexuality? Did your parents create you in a lapse of impurity? Is not sexuality a source of creation and love? Is it not imbued in how a flower opens? The way someone who cares about you says your name? A beautiful building designed and built? How and why should sexuality be flicked off like a switch when it's a life source as much as air, water and food? Granted there is appropriate and inappropriate sexual behavior. If you want microwave popcorn, dis sexuality. If you want a life meal made with with love, say yes to it all, and figure out what to do with it as life's gift, and it's all good.

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Aug 12, 2023

  [quote] Why is nudism so anti-sexuality? [/quote] That is such a naive view. Just because people are not having sex dose not mean they are anti-sexual. Try socialising with clothed people and tell them they are behaving anti-sexual.

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• EA

  

  EarlD

  Aug 12, 2023

  [quote]Very few "straight" resorts allow solo men. So for a lot of us straight solo guys, the only option is at a gay men's resort..[/quote] Don't think that is entirely accurate maybe to venues you have attempted to visit dont allow solo men but many do. It is also a huge assumption to assume a gay mens naturist resort is more sexualized. BTW some Gay resorts have restrictions as well.

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• EA

  

  EarlD

  Aug 12, 2023

  [quote]Why is nudism so anti-sexuality? That is such a naive view. Just because people are not having sex dose not mean they are anti-sexual. Try socialising with clothed people and tell them they are behaving anti-sexual.[/quote] on point response though you may never convince him otherwise. His whole thing is hammering the idea that his experience with nudism and nudist venues is the reality for everyone.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Aug 13, 2023

  [quote]His whole thing is hammering the idea that his experience with nudism and nudist venues is the reality for everyone.[/quote] I can speak for myself, thank you. Local nudism for me as a single dad is often more Puritanical than church coffee hour. Discrimination by its nature does not make a universal experience. The Midwest part of the US is different that the coasts. The nudist venues I've encountered in California, Texas and Florida are different and will likely be around 20 years from now.

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• WI

  

  WindyCityNkd

  Aug 13, 2023

  [quote]I am more comfortable at "straight" or couples resorts than at a gay one - mostly because any sexual tension is eliminated. I would never simply announce that I am gay, but if the topic were to come up, I wouldn't hide it. Can I assume a straight male nudist wouldn't have concerns? I actually like forming friendships with straight men in a bonding sort of way. Every man I meet is very friendly, but I am wondering if it's better to steer the conversation elsewhere when talking about partners, dating, etc. Thoughts? - Particularly from men over 50.[/quote]
  
  I've just read through the responses in this meandering string. First of all, why would you hide who you are? As you suggested, "Guess, what? I'm gay!" need not be the first words out of your mouth when meeting someone for the first time. In fact, that approach would be just as awkward as "Guess, what? I'm straight!". On the other hand, I wouldn't steer the conversation elsewhere when talking about partners or dating. Just answer any questions truthfully. "Where is your wife?" "My husband is home." You cannot be responsible for others' feelings about who you are. If they are uncomfortable around gay men or bisexual men, they can avoid you - although, someone should remind them that they are among gay and bisexual men on a regular basis as they wander through daily life - they just aren't aware of it.
  
  Elsewhere in this string, some people have discussed the "no single men" policies that some resorts have. I suspect the motivation behind these policies is either that (a) large numbers of solo men might be intimidating to women, or (b) single men are likely to be sexual predators. (I hope that the motivation behind the policy isn't that a large male to female ratio is off-putting to men - if this is the motivation, see item (b)). The second presumption is inherent in the first presumption. The notion that single men are likely to be sexual predators not only is wildly wrong, but it focuses on the wrong issue. The real issue is behavior. Nudist resorts that want to control male behavior should be focused on exactly that. Their policies should make clear what they consider appropriate versus inappropriate behavior, and they should enforce their policies. Oh - and those policies should apply equally to female behavior. I can't possibly count the number of times I've hit on by aggressive women who won't take no for an answer.
  
  Others here have discussed the notion that nudity should or should not be divorced from sexuality - and many popular naturist or nudist organizations have similar discussions or policies around this. In my view, such a conversation is pointless. Sexuality cannot be divorced from human nudity because humans are sexual beings by their very nature - the drive for sex is similar to the need to breathe, eat, or drink water. Once again, the real issue is behavior. If you want to invite people to a nudist party but don't want it to devolve into an orgy, then just state the rules so that people know them, and kick out anyone who doesn't abide by the rules. It's really that simple.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Aug 13, 2023

  [quote]Others here have discussed the notion that nudity should or should not be divorced from sexuality - and many popular naturist or nudist organizations have similar discussions or policies around this. In my view, such a conversation is pointless. Sexuality cannot be divorced from human nudity because humans are sexual beings by their very nature - the drive for sex is similar to the need to breathe, eat, or drink water. Once again, the real issue is behavior. If you want to invite people to a nudist party but don't want it to devolve into an orgy, then just state the rules so that people know them, and kick out anyone who doesn't abide by the rules. It's really that simple.[/quote] Well put! The reasoning at such resorts is that standards of behavior are not defined, and if you have to ask, you don't belong, and since men need to ask, they don't belong. It leaves a lot open to interpretation and discrimination. Much like on the chat room on TN. Men (typically) are discriminated against, stop participating, go elsewhere, and then, hey, what happened to this site? I hear the crickets. And no one should be surprised at the consequences. I finally found a resort not too far from Chicago which is more open and accepting to single men than my past experiences. It's called Cedar Hills near Madison, WI https://www.cedarhillcampground.com/. Sexuality is a non-issue, neither repressed nor gone wild. Perhaps one reason it works is that it's relatively large and spread out without a pool or much defined common space - great for tent camping. It's adults only, so I still have no where I could bring my sons (they are 18+ but under 21), but now they have their own lives and interests any way (and it's not nudism).

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• ST

  

  StevieLorna

  Aug 13, 2023

  I am genuinely happy that you have finally found a place that accepts you, like I said in a previous comment . There is a place for everyone. I hope your nudist time is much happier now. I wonder if you could elaborate on the meaning of this [quote]Sexuality is a non-issue, neither repressed nor gone wild.[/quote] as its a sentence that could easily apply to people attending a soccer match or a Jehovahs Witness wedding service, as to any nudist setting. Apart from letting you attend how is Cedar Hills different to any other resort?

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