Lone man — The Mens Room on True Nudists

David RichardsOriginal Poster

Oct 19, 2022

As a male without a participating partner living far away from any major cities I feel Im not welcome to the nudist community

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Mike
Oct 19, 2022
The community is larger than you think. I have connected with many people over the years that don't live near me. Nudism is being comfortable in your own skin. Body acceptance. It's non judgemental. I am in a similar situation as you. And it is difficult to find others around me. Nudist resorts are bit of travel for me. So I connect with the community where I can. This is one place. There are many others. I've met nudists from all over the world. All of them over video chat.
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DR
David RichardsOriginal Poster
Oct 19, 2022
Mostly just a feeling stemming from seeing most everywhere I look it always says no single men
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DR
David RichardsOriginal Poster
Oct 19, 2022
Wish I could visit a nudist location but they are all several hours away from me so my only interaction is online
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nudony
Oct 19, 2022
On the one hand: yes it's harder when you're a single male. I've experienced the "quiet suspicion" of my motives being there myself.
On the other hand: there are plenty of single males at my resort. My wife and I are good friends with one of them (and acquaintances with others); and not only is she not "suspicious" of him at all, but she is actually quite comfortable socializing naked with him.
The issue of single males being "pariahs" is a bit exaggerated. And it doesn't apply to every single male at every single resort.
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John
Oct 19, 2022
nudony wrote:[quote] The issue of single males being "pariahs" is a bit exaggerated. And it doesn't apply to every single male at every single resort.[/quote] Granted, I've mainly been to nudist resorts on the West Coast, but I have found this to be true. While as a whole, there may be some suspicion concerning our interest in nudism, it isn't an issue unless the guy is making an ass of himself. And like most social situations, any outsider will need a little time before he's accepted as one of the gang. It helps if you go with others you know. Which leads me to another recommendation. If you live far from those resorts, make a road trip out of it and plan to spend a bit of time traveling. If you can make arrangements to have another person along, or to make contact with locals via this web site or others, so much the better. But there are a lot of folks who live 400 miles away from anything, and they do what they have to do.
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ME
Member
Oct 24, 2022
We primarily stick to couples given past poor experiences with single males here at home. At our club it's a different setting. There we can just go to bed and turn the outdoor lights out leaving them sitting in the dark when to much alcohol has taken over.
Besides one way or another don't mess with Frank.
When Nudony was single we would have had zero problem for him to stay over at our house. He's a good stand up guy and we know it. We have seen to many guys morph into different people when the alcohol kicks in and then into repulsive types. Oddly enough if a wife is on scene things are kept in "check" with a couple.
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Stone Andy
Oct 24, 2022
[quote]We primarily stick to couples given past poor experiences with single males here at home....We have seen to many guys morph into different people when the alcohol kicks in and then into repulsive types. Oddly enough if a wife is on scene things are kept in "check" with a couple.[/quote] Funny how single men are not only perverts, they're drunken perverts. Is this all inevitable because we are penis carriers and it magically changes in the power of the WIFEY? I was unwelcome from resorts as a single dad of two elementary school kids at a time in my life when I had anything but time for drinking and perversion. sexism /seksizm/ prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination on the basis of sex
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John
Oct 24, 2022
Rockdad wrote: [quote] When Nudony was single we would have had zero problem for him to stay over at our house. He's a good stand up guy and we know it. We have seen to many guys morph into different people when the alcohol kicks in and then into repulsive types. Oddly enough if a wife is on scene things are kept in "check" with a couple.[/quote] So single men are discouraged because some men behave better when their wives are there. That sound a lot like pre-emptive action against an occurrence that may not happen. It's like pulling up everything in a garden because some of those sprouts might end up being weeds. In some circles, that's called "profiling," and it usually ends up with some people being unjustly penalized. It seems that a better approach would be to admit single men but let them know when they get out of line, and that they're not welcome when they act that way. In other words, don't punish people for crimes they haven't committed yet. But be quick to invoke the consequences if they screw up.
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Little_David
Oct 24, 2022
[quote]We primarily stick to couples given past poor experiences with single males here at home. At our club it's a different setting. There we can just go to bed and turn the outdoor lights out leaving them sitting in the dark when to much alcohol has taken over. Besides one way or another don't mess with Frank. When Nudony was single we would have had zero problem for him to stay over at our house. He's a good stand up guy and we know it. We have seen to many guys morph into different people when the alcohol kicks in and then into repulsive types. Oddly enough if a wife is on scene things are kept in "check" with a couple.[/quote] I'm sorry to hear that. Whether clothed or naked you should know how to behave. My friends, brothers and myself like a drink or 2 usually after sporting events but we don't get loud or push into people but have a chat (dissect the game) and a laugh, also catch up on the crap in each others' lives. You have to have respect for others. I hate to think what the single males were doing at your place.
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Shah1985
Oct 24, 2022
Same here
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EarlD
Oct 24, 2022
Some nudist places/communities discriminate against single males some places are very accepting other places are accepting but have strict codes of conduct it varies so it hard to generalize.

Thing is when a single guy has a negative experience its hard not to take it personally. I know because I have been at my club/venue as a single male for several years now though I have had occasion to bring a female friend over the years.

The challenge is twofold in my opinion.
One there are some men whose behavior makes it tough for everyone else. Last summer there was a single guy who went around the place inappropriately propositioning single and married women. He was banned for life. After the women came forward (not an easy thing) and reported the behavior. This summer there was a guy who thinks it was ok for him to keep touching my partner without her permission. We are documenting and reporting this.

Two those and others who have been discriminated against had bad experiences or barred from venues and communities often try to paint of picture of the experience of single as singular. Saw that happen on here when someone posted that my home club no longer accepted single men when I as a single man was there and felt quite accepted.

So my suggestion to single guys is maintain the code of conduct that says anything you wouldnt be legally allowed to do or isnt appropriate if clothed dont do it cause you are naked. Also if you do get to a community or venue do stuff to earn your cred. Dont just sit off by yourself or skulk around thats creepy. Participate in activities. Play volleyball bring a dish to the potluck take a yoga class and once people see you arent creeping they will invite you to other stuff. I got regular massage at my club and when people as the massage therapist (who has become a friend) what she thought of me she was able to share that I was not at all suspect. I wasnt asking for anything but a good massage, unlike some.

Its not always easy or simple but there is definitely a place for single men in nudism your behavior is your passport.
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Stone Andy
Oct 25, 2022
[quote]So my suggestion to single guys is maintain the code of conduct that says anything you wouldnt be legally allowed to do or isnt appropriate if clothed dont do it cause you are naked. Also if you do get to a community or venue do stuff to earn your cred. Its not always easy or simple but there is definitely a place for single men in nudism your behavior is your passport.[/quote] 1. I've never seen or heard about a written code of conduct. One resort demanded that I bring my children's birth certificate and a written statement from their biological mother allowing the children to attend. This is in total disregard of our divorce agreement granting me full custody rights. 2. It's obvious that being a good citizen is important to being accepted by a community. But can a single man get past the gatekeepers? What single parent is willing to drive a few hours with children without knowing they'll be admitted? What guarantee is good behavior when it's not defined and there's no chance to practice it? 3. What type of men are willing to put up with discrimination against their gender requiring them to be an adjunct to their women partners? Can you imagine a golf club only allowing women when they're with their menfolk? Can men at resorts accept that they may no longer be welcome if their wives are sick or pass away? What kind of belonging is that?
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Trekrider2779
Oct 25, 2022
[quote]As a male without a participating partner living far away from any major cities I feel Im not welcome to the nudist community[/quote] One reason I stick to the beach scene - everyone is welcome. I also belong to a men only nude hiking group. I have little interest in resorts with their rules and discrimination.
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ME
Member
Oct 29, 2022
Geez guys chill out. All i said was Nudony was welcome when he was single. I'm no rookie any longer there is bad behavior
when alcohol kicks in and it's my choice not to subject my wife to it. Heck I find it obnoxious. It has nothing to do with single male or female. Obnoxious goes both ways. I go to bed and shut all the lights down.
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Stone Andy
Oct 29, 2022
[quote]when alcohol kicks in and it's my choice not to subject my wife to it. Heck I find it obnoxious. It has nothing to do with single male or female. Obnoxious goes both ways.[/quote] I'm glad you realize that obnoxious behavior - related to alcohol or other factors - cuts both ways for both men and women. You are lucky to have the choice of not subjecting your wife to it, putting you in a protector role. And if your wife were not around, and you got labelled as the obnoxious one and aggressor in her absense, turned away at the gates, would you still feel the problem is that men need to chill out in response? Or would you also find such places irrelevant?
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EA
EarlD
Oct 29, 2022
[quote]there is bad behavior when alcohol kicks in and it's my choice not to subject my wife to it. Heck I find it obnoxious. It has nothing to do with single male or female. Obnoxious goes both ways. I go to bed and shut all the lights down.[/quote] This is why I have said the differentiator is not gender but the behavior of the individual. It is well within the rights of couples and venues to be cautious and protective. Single guys have to be more aware and conscientious in their behavior. If a venue or a group doesnt acknowledge good behavior then you wouldnt want to be there anyway. Thats why as single guy on this site I didnt get bent out of shape if a couple said no friend request or if at a venue certain couples didnt feel comfortable. Instead I just continued to do my thing an behave is a manner that is aligned with the group or venue norms and let that speak for itself.
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Tony townes
Oct 29, 2022
One of the reasons I go to the resort near by mid week is cause they have a 12 single males a day rule. So if I dont door bust on a Saturday like trying to get a Black Friday sale, it might be tough luck getting in as a single male.
Online and resorts have this under current that single males are undesirables. It one of the reasons so many single males give up on the community. Seeing posts saying people find a partner as a logical solution is laughable. Hard to find a partner in a rather niche lifestyle when a lot have issues finding partner in general dating.
I been one to walk around looking to talk to people and people walk away as if I am an orge. It doesnt feel too well. Its sad that a lifestyle built on acceptance still doesnt have that for people within its very lifestyle.
I get lewd and drunken behavior being a problem. I get people not wanting to be around those. But its annoying to be thought as a lewd person because someone else acts a fool. Its a reason my pics are all full body with face showing. I am trying to show I am a whole person and not just my member.
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EarlD
Oct 29, 2022
You are correct on two countsSomegroups and venues have such quotas and mindsets. IMO those that do are shooting themselves in the foot and will eventually go away. You said [quote] Online and resorts have this under current that single males are undesirables. It one of the reasons so many single males give up on the community. Seeing posts saying people find a partner as a logical solution is laughable. Hard to find a partner in a rather niche lifestyle when a lot have issues finding partner in general dating. [/quote] Second you are correct that single men who behave appropriately pay the price for those who dont. Those of us who dont behave in lewd or overtly sexual manner need to hold the other to account becuase if we dont it ends up affecting us anyway. We need to counter behave anyway I want attitude with the whole person approach you describe You said [quote] But its annoying to be thought as a lewd person because someone else acts a fool. Its a reason my pics are all full body with face showing. I am trying to show I am a whole person and not just my member.[/quote]
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Little_David
Oct 29, 2022
I lived in the north of England a few years ago and could only go to my friend and his wife's nudist club as a guest.
Where I live now there is naturist swim with no restrictions, you just have to join, on Saturday evenings not far from me so I go there once a week.
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ME
Member
Oct 30, 2022
my experience is that some of the residents or members at resorts dont care to socialize with single males. keep trying.....i will say i went to a new resort last summer. it was mid week. quiet.
i met a nice lady at the pool. there was immediate chemistry between us. we went back to her residence. spent the evening making love.
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nudony
Oct 30, 2022
[quote]When Nudony was single we would have had zero problem for him to stay over at our house. He's a good stand up guy and we know it.[/quote] Thanks RD, I appreciate that! :) [quote]Could it be that in most cases, it's not that single men aren't welcome but that couples and single women are just being cautious? [/quote] Personally, I don't really get the outrage. I think it's totally reasonable for couples to gravitate towards other couples. For one, they're going to have more in common. For two, husbands are going to be naturally protective of their spouses, and be more alert to their SO's response to single men. I totally understood that in my "lone nudist" days. That might not always be the case, but a married man's eyes are less likely to be darting all over the place, if for no other reason that they don't want to disrespect their partner. I've seen it many times from single males, as my wife bent over to pick something up, or as she entered or exited the hot tub. And if I see a dude doing that, I'm going to be highly suspicious as to his true motives, plain and simple. And my wife is going to steer clear of that person from there on out. I get that for a single heterosexual male who isn't around female nudity very often, it might be challenging. But it's a challenge that has to be met if one expects to be accepted. Is the level of expectation higher for single males? Yes; no question about it. But if they're consistently at the resort, are irreproachable in their behavior, then I think it's actually rare that they will be unable to connect with the nudist community.
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StevieLorna
Oct 30, 2022
[quote] I been one to walk around looking to talk to people and people walk away as if I am an orge. It doesnt feel too well. Its sad that a lifestyle built on acceptance still doesnt have that for people within its very lifestyle. .[/quote] Comments like this always bother me. Just because everyone is nude doesnt automatically mean they want to be your friend. You say you feel like you are treated like an ogre without considering how your actions are making others feel and simply pass the blame onto them. I wondered if its not just that you are a solo man, maybe its the vibe you are giving off that makes people walk away. I had a look at your profile, and at the groups you are interested in. A bi-curios guy who belongs to at least 4 penis appreciation groups and many other sexual related groups might not be giving off the. Hi, Im one of the good ones, vibe. Still, it must be everyone elses fault.
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EarlD
Oct 30, 2022
[quote]i will say i went to a new resort last summer. it was mid week. quiet. i met a nice lady at the pool. there was immediate chemistry between us. we went back to her residence. spent the evening making love.[/quote] This is exactly the kind of stuff that gives single men a bad name and makes most people groups women and venues get suspicious and inclined to think all single men are horn dogs.
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EA
EarlD
Oct 30, 2022
[quote]I been one to walk around looking to talk to people and people walk away as if I am an orge. It doesnt feel too well. Its sad that a lifestyle built on acceptance still doesnt have that for people within its very lifestyle..Comments like this always bother me. Just because everyone is nude doesnt automatically mean they want to be your friend.[/quote]

I would tend to agree with you on this but part of the fault likes with the segment of the nudist population that tries suggest nakedness is all that matter and that it is the great equalizer and the only interest that draws people together in a nudist/naturist context. It give newbies the wrong idea about how to connect

I find that leading with having other interests breaks down the stigma and opens up more authentic connections.based on shared interests not just a naked body. But as long as naked is all that matters people rule the day the concerns and hesitations you raise will be valid.
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