In this platform every one have right to talk to any one and i respect others decision too. but people with prejudge mental minds and spreading all single men's are like untouchable in this community that's not fair and i want to spread some awareness to others if we found fake profile or not even certified and judging others based on the marital status. single women's are free to talk with the couples and they have a men right, how do we see that and vice versa.
i just want to make this as a statement and try to create group and if they been judgemental and not certified will report the profile get rid of them once and for all. don't judge anyone without knowing...
"Everyone" welcome to share their views on this...
Replies
- ST
StevieLornaOct 11, 2020We have over 400 friends requests pending. They are almost exclusively from single men who either want to have sex with me, Lorna or both of us. We make it clear on our profile that we are genuine naturists and not swingers but they must not have read that.
If you are a naturist couple on the internet this is what you have to put up with.
ReactReply - SASathishOriginal PosterOct 11, 2020
you can report them but not all of us here men's not looking for sex right. Like its been a curse to all them men's here. you even not certified but u said genuine nudist. i am not blaming everyone i known some couples here they don't prejudge. this is the only issue if u have multiple request just remove or block them. Don't blame everyone cause of some perverted shits.
ReactReply - STStevieLornaOct 11, 2020We do not blame anyone we expect this on the internet.
You are a single man, thats not the fault of naturist couples.
In the real textile world do you walk into a restaurant as a single man see 10 couples and demand to be accepted as a friend and sit down next to one couple?
Why expect it to be different if they were naked?ReactReply - SASathishOriginal PosterOct 11, 2020
i don't ask you to accept as friend and allow a person beside you. if someone came with the intention block/ignore as you like but don't portray a bad image to people. Its like all single men's are a threat. in textile world i will not sit on someone table if 10 couple there i will take my own table. its like u want to create separate site for couples. if u want u can do that but on common platform don't portray all are bad. did u like to treat other person like that. And as a genuine nudist couple why ur not still get certified?
ReactReply - STStevieLornaOct 11, 2020
My point is this.
You have no absolute right to speak with anyone.
All you can do is be warm and courteous, friendship will follow.
Anyone can join this site and become certified. That does not make you a naturist, it just means you can work a camera.
ReactReply - SASathishOriginal PosterOct 11, 2020Same My point is this
I have a right to speak and i am doing it. And i am not here request everyone to be friend that's not how friendship or whatever u think is work. i am here to connect with people i will talk to them chat if we have same wave length found each other trust worthy we may became friends.
I hate the only thing all are doing is before even talking to someone u just put all of them in one bad image and its spreading to all peoples here. people have bad experience or no experience with any men's around here and blaming the whole nudist that's not fair and i'm against some people's prejudge-mental minds.
Anyone can join here that's the problem anyone can join without even certified and do something bad or blame others and its all fall under the nudists who really came here for the community.
Yeah u cant work a camera but u can create an account and post a pic and be here for 7 years but u cant even get certified. how's difficult is that. I'm sorry that u can do all this but cant work a camera(its hard to open camera and click then upload here to get certified).ReactReply - GU
Guzzi27Oct 11, 2020You have a right to state your views and defend them in a forum like this. Just as others have a right to argue against you.
You have the right to reach out politely to initiate a discussion with other people and they have the right to ignore you or even report you if the approach was unsuitable, or if you continue to hassle them if they dont want to converse with you. You dont have a right for them to be your friend or talk to you if they dont want to. Whatever their reason is.
I am married but count as a single man on here as my wife is textile. I have some awareness of the challenges facing single men due to the behaviour of some. Even as a single guy I find that most people sending friend requests havent even had the courtesy to read and follow what I say in my profile. Which is dont send a friend request unless we have been in contact another way first. And guess what? 99% of the people who send an unsolicited friend request are single males!
And the problem is exacerbated on here by the fact that there are a significant number of members who are genuine naturists and are on here for other reasons.ReactReply - SASathishOriginal PosterOct 11, 2020yes i'm also facing the same issue many not certified male requests and check my like in the profile and check them out they all from any cam site or a gay sites.
And mostly i never approach the profiles with prejudge mental thoughts and u cant make them talk all we can do is send hi and ur name if they reply i will talk or else just be on my way but sometimes particularly today i had a bad response from people like them that's not fair and "u just only know my name why ur so judgemental about the males" that's when i started this discussion even that the profile been here for two years and not even certified then only i got angrier ur not certified and blaming me for some other persons bad behaviour. then i reported the comment and the profile.
yes even i reported a issue in the site as well remove the non certified users/ don't allow them to engage with any other nudists/in the chat window will have to wait what there reply gonna be. because of this cant able to connect with anyone marital status should not the judging criteria and they have all the right to do as they wish but not branding others.
That's why i'm starting this and over the time create a group and report the all the not certified profiles(couples/single women/men).ReactReply - STStevieLornaOct 11, 2020
There was a thread started a couple of days ago by an 18yo girl with a certified profile.
It was revealed to be completely false.
If you want to, you can fake it.
ReactReply - SASathishOriginal PosterOct 11, 2020whatever u say "not certified people" u blame the certified fakes and i blame the mentality against the single males and all fakes. your nudists but your not intended to get certified as the site request for nudists trustworthy but you came here to teach a class about others.
Everyone has to face all the problems its the way world works. if u are capable enough to find the nudists and perverts u dont need to blame everyone.
and after all its ur decision to get certified or not here after i dont care the people who are not certified.ReactReply - EA
EarlDOct 11, 2020[quote]We have over 400 friends requests pending. They are almost exclusively from single men who either want to have sex with me, Lorna or both of us. We make it clear on our profile that we are genuine naturists and not swingers but they must not have read that. If you are a naturist couple on the internet this is what you have to put up with.[/quote] Ugh how frustrating that must be!!!!!ReactReply - EAEarlDOct 11, 2020[quote]There was a thread started a couple of days ago by an 18yo girl with a certified profile. It was revealed to be completely false. If you want to, you can fake it.[/quote] And there is the crux of the problem so many people here certified and not are not what/who they suggest they are and there is very little that an individual member can do about itReactReply
- MC
McdcvsOct 12, 2020Livelikeborn, you are pre-judging no certified people the same way that you have noted single men are.
To use steveleonas example of 10 couples in a restaurant. You said you would come in and get your own table. The analogy is that you start sending messages to the tables saying Hi, my name is Dick. You wouldnt/shouldnt do that. Same here, sending an unsolicited message even if it is just introducing yourself, is not a good idea in most cases.
I have learned that the best way to make friends and show your intentions here is by posting and commenting in the forum or groups. You can tell more about a person by the groups they join and the comments they make. You can have meaningful conversation with people just like you have in this thread.
ReactReply - STStevieLornaOct 12, 2020
If you are in the chat room or posting on the forums you are inviting discussion. Thats appropriate.
The restaurant analogy is just to point out where its inappropriate.
If single male naturists are unsure where and when its appropriate to look to start a conversation simply ask yourself. Would I do it if we were all dressed.
As for sending unsolicited personal messages, you are never going to stop that, but as a rule Ill pay attention to a message if its from a name I recognise from these posts. Strangers will more often than not, remain strangers.
ReactReply - TD
Tom DOct 12, 2020i would also encourage checking discussions and posting where it interests you first. If you then find people who you would like to know better, send them a friend request and note something they posted that interests you.
When I get a friend request that doesn't incluled comments, I don't delete it immediately, I do check their profile.
If they have more friends than posts, a private profile or mostly sexual posts, I delete it.
If the initial request has sexual overtones, I just delete it immediately.ReactReply - SA
Stone AndyOct 12, 2020[quote]We have over 400 friends requests pending. They are almost exclusively from single men who either want to have sex with me, Lorna or both of us. We make it clear on our profile that we are genuine naturists and not swingers but they must not have read that. If you are a naturist couple on the internet this is what you have to put up with.[/quote] This site is dying due to threads like this, polarizing the world into two camps of orthodox nudists and perverts. How can you be so vain to think that 400 people want to have sex with you? And then claim victimhood as a result? People are sexual in nature, we're born that way and it's a gift. And it's our blessing to own and feel our sexuality, though not a right to share it with others without their permission and in public. We need discretion, not denial or repression. I grew up in an ethnic evangelical enclave that also broke the world into the "us" and "sinful others," and claimed victimhood for fighting the good fight by bashing others focused on their favorite sins. I was shamed and abused for asking questions and holding people accountable for their lies and hypcorisy without even rebelling in my behavior. Gay men, whom I was warned about, turned out to be better role models for me of living with authenticity and integrity, and I'm referring to their lifestyle excluding sexuality. Naturism taught me to shed my repression and shame, and I am a better person as a result. Younger people are also a saving grace in being honest, speaking openly and being accepting of themselves and others, while maintaining healthy boundaries. They mainly disregard and distance themselves from toxic and dysfunctional people and places and I don't blame them for disassociating from discussions like this one. They run to the hils and don't want anything to do with TN. TN is becoming an increasingly toxic and polarized forum and is dying as a result. This is sad because we need each other more than we need to suffer from undesirables unlike us. That is unfortunately also a sign of our times. Let us put aside these hateful or spiteful attitudes to listen and be compassionate, respectful and healing instead.ReactReply - MCMcdcvsOct 12, 2020
Codebare I agree that that is what it should be but as stated, a lot of the people here are not here as what I would describe a a True Nudist.
If you at a bar or a party as a couple having someone send a note would be creepy. However if there is a conversation going and all are participating in the conversation and then you send a note to a couple that is pertinent to the conversation you all were just having, then there is context to the note.
I say I have learned because early on I sent request and accepted request without knowing much about the person. I was blocked a lot. Now I dont ask to be friends much because I dont have to be on your friends list. I enjoy our encounters in our shared groups and forums.
ReactReply - STStevieLornaOct 12, 2020Its a fact that we do have over 400 friends request pending. We get about three a week they rarely contain a message but I always check the profile. Its almost always sexual in nature, either directly in the info or indirectly by which groups they belong too.
You are correct that its vain to think they all want to have sex. Maybe they just want to join our book club.
No where in this thread have I indicated that we feel victimised. Its not frustrating either, its just how things work on TN.
I feel sorry that the OP has had such a bad experience, but I think hes wrong to blame all couples for his lack of a naturist partner. Something he hopes for on his profile .
I wish him the best of luck.ReactReply - STStevieLornaOct 12, 2020Wow, I should take up phishing.
I hook him every single time. (I wonder if the rant will remain posted this time.)ReactReply - SAStone AndyOct 13, 2020[quote]I feel sorry that the OP has had such a bad experience, but I think hes wrong to blame all couples for his lack of a naturist partner. Something he hopes for on his profile . I wish him the best of luck.[/quote] I admire your shift in attitude to show acceptance and empathy. I also encourage you to consider going through some of those 400 contacts and reaching out to make new friends. As more mature men, it's important for us to realize that we are the generation that younger people look to for wisdom, empathy and a listening ear. It turns out we have a lot to learn from each other, but as the old joes we need to take the initiative to inquire, affirm and encourage. Sometimes I question if I'm just my same old young stupid self with grey hairs, but I'm not. We're not. I affirm how we alll 50+ have a lot to offer, and it starts with our hearts of compassion and courage, and all shall be well.ReactReply
- STStevieLornaOct 13, 2020
Out attitudes havent shifted, they have always been that social norms and expectations dont change for naturists when you take your clothes off.
Our mistake was joining this site after being naturists for over a decade and expecting it to reflect what we experience in the real world. It doesnt.
We have never had a problem with single men on beaches or at resorts. For the most part they behave exactly like everyone else. Being respectful and approachable.
The OP reaction to being ostracised by couples on the internet is giving him a skewed image of what goes on in the real world. (Go to the beach, act normally)
I honestly pity the people new to nudism who join TN to find out more about it. Sure theres lots of great information but it also has a lot of nonsense that only happens on the internet. If they then take those nonsense attitudes to the beach or resort then we are all doomed.
ReactReply - STStevieLornaOct 13, 2020
What..... collecting non-friends by not accepting ......oh thats funny.
The model on the right, holding a sign saying Certified users have more friends. Thats irony.
ReactReply - JO
JohnOct 13, 2020Thanks, CodeBear, for articulating a lot of what I feel.
I'm not exactly new to the naturist world, having done sporadic nude gatherings over the years, but I am new to the social scene as portrayed on this site. I'm old enough to have formed my own attitudes toward nude situations and the people I find in them, but young enough (I hope) to be able to adapt to whatever situation I'm in, if it means that I can practice naturism in my own way while fitting in to what others are doing.
I'm learning that there are pervs out there. I'm learning that there are people who want to share their views with me, and people who want to inflict their views on me. I'm learning, most of all, that visitors to this site are a cross-section of humanity, coming to grips with something that is new to them and trying to figure out the rules, and discovering that the rules differ from place to place and context to context. Understandably, there is some confusion and need for direction, and with a little bit of luck someone will come along to address those things.
I'll keep visiting, in hopes of finding some genuine friendships and rewards among the dross.
ReactReply - STStevieLornaOct 13, 2020
Code, I look at every request we get. If it comes without a message Ill still look, but if the sender cant be bothered to include a message I dont bother sending them one.
If there is a message (non sleazy) like hi, Ill send a hi back, if it leads to a conversation fine but sometimes I think people are so surprised to get a reply they freeze up.
Ive come to the conclusion that America naturism (With Woodsmans help) is something quite different from European naturism. It seems to be more natural and relaxed here, we dont seem to encounter the same issues often raised (pun intended) on this site. Or at least no where near as often.
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