To compliment or not, gay vs straight. — The Mens Room on True Nudists

PatriceOriginal Poster

Feb 23, 2017

Good afternoon men,
Just a general question of interest, at least to me, that I would like throw out there and see what comments come back.
I have spent a better part of 30 years working in theatrical costuming industry and general sewing. A large part of my work is spent on observing the body in all it's form and directly moving the body as I do fittings and such. As a result I have been a keen observer of all body shapes and sizes, indiscriminately of it's gender.
Since I have found this site, I have spent my spare time looking at photos and observing the differences from people to people. I pass no judgement but I look at them with, very often, the question of how would I fit this person or body. What would I do with such a long torso and short legs, or what would I do to adjust the length of the sleeve for what appears to be very long arms and such.
I also observe that people have bodies that would fit better in certain historical context rather than others.

Ok, Ok, Ok, now I know that this was a long preamble, but here is my question.

Being an observe as mentioned, I sometime like to sent a compliment to people when I find their physiques interesting. I make no mention of anything sexual, but just a general, you are well put together and aren't you lucky, kind of sentiment to both men and woman.

But here is the but, I'm never very sure on how straight men would react to this. Being gay I'm always a little hesitant to send a compliment since it has been my experience in the past ( no reflection on the men of this site so far, since I've really only been active in the last month or so, despite being on the site for a few years), that some men think that I just want to get to have sex with them. Now, that may have to do with being on some other site not necessarily devoted uniquely to nudism. I have complimented a few men in the past since observing that many men of a certain age are certainly a far cry from being decrepit as the youth movement would have us believe and do inspire still that one can better their physical condition despite their advanced years. Thoughts ? Comments ? Perspectives ?
Best regards.

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ST
Steve
Oct 21, 2017
I agree with the point that you make about people assuming that a compliment is a sexual advance. I am reluctant to compliment anyone at times. Certainly not in the workplace. Attitudes today are that any unwanted compliment is sexual harassment. I've been the victim of sexual harassment in the workplace before but this went far beyond compliments. Since that time I too have worried about offending people, both men and women. I enjoy being complimented. Having said that I tend to not find my body attractive at all. Having said that I love my type on others. One of the things that led me to nudism 20 or so years ago was the fact that I had issues with my own body. My first experience with nudism was forcing myself to go to an all male nudist retreat here in Iowa. I made myself stay naked for an entire week there. By the end of the week I had learned to embrace my rubenesque (sp) body type.
The point of my ramblings on here is that compliments should be seen as just that. A compliment. It is vastly different to tell someone that they have a great body than I really love your cock. That doesn't mean that you can never compliment a man's cock or a woman's breasts. I feel those types of compliments are best saved for someone that you've actually gotten to know a bit through chatting, face to face meets, etc. Even then those compliments aren't necessarily overtly sexual. It depends entirely on the person and the situation.
My own personal example is the fact that my penis is small therefore I admire more average sized penises. If I know a guy well enough I will compliment on his member. That doesn't mean that I want to have sex with it or him! My advise to all of those people who receive a compliment of any type is to take those compliments in the spirit in which they're given.
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TB
tbirdguy28
Nov 9, 2017
I think everyone loves a compliment, as long as it is genuine and without any alternative motive, both in person and online
I know I always like it when I get comments on my pics on here, which is why I try to keep posting new ones.
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50FatMan
Dec 8, 2017
I'm Bi and love to compliment men and women on their physiques. It makes them feel good, as well as me (I should add I like BBW and BHM and all too often such people are starving for compliments). I've given plenty of complements to straight men - even on this site - and I've never had a bad outcome. There are certain rules though, especially when giving a compliment to a straight man in person. 1) Make it the last thing you say when parting. Some men won't know how to take the compliment and might want to ponder it. It would be awkward to put them in that situation then hold them in conversation for several minutes while they are squirming, wondering what your intentions are. 2) Make your intentions clear. Be certain they understand you are not trying to pick them up or bed them, but you just simply want them to know they are doing something right. 3) Make the compliment about them, NOT about you or your desires. Try starting the compliment with "you should be proud . . . " or "you're a lucky man . . ..". 4) Keep it brief. Most men will appreciate a compliment, but gushing puts him in a very awkward position. Once sentence will do.
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SZ
stuart zamansky
Jan 17, 2019
I am a bi curious who is new to nudism. When I look at the nude photos and see a good looking guy who has
attractive features would it be considered wrong to message him on his appearance or special features.
Also would it make any difference depending upon his sexuality
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JE
Jeff
Jan 18, 2019
I'm personally straight, and have gotten a few comments on my body from gay men on here. I'm totally OK with that, because I understand where they're coming from. No worries.
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Ryan
Jan 18, 2019
I'm straight but have also received several compliments on my body from gay, bi-curious, and even straight men. I'm ok with that. Nothing wrong with complimenting someone if they look good. But a few did go beyond compliments, and then I usually tell them I'm straight and not interested. Friends are always ok with me.
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Kevin
Jan 18, 2019
I don't think most men, gay or straight are offended if someone says "you look great!" As a gay man myself, and one that in my textile life has more straight men or married couples as friends, I look for that diversity of friendship here as well but I do pull back from those types of compliments out of fear that it could be misperceived. Maybe this is wrong, but being my age I have a tendency to walk on the safe side with my compliments to all here (be it straight, gay, man, woman), more so because saying something like "you have a great body" goes against my belief that all bodies are great (although I'll compliment an honest smile every time I see one). I am more open as relationships progress, but admit I would never say "you have a great body" to anyone I just met - it sounds as if I was more interested in the physical aspects of the person than the sum of the parts (including humor, kindness, intelligence, and empathy - i.e their mind).
I will admit that I do bristle when I see specific body parts called out in a compliment but that's not what you've said. If you have a comfortable relationship with the person you're complimenting I think you should be okay, and if someone were to mistake it hopefully you'd have the chance to explain it.
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AD
Adi
Jan 18, 2019
That use to happen in every site even with clothes on. At the beginning even in Facebook happened that....many bi curious and I was just talking about exopolitics and global affairs, types of learning, schools, books, etc.
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SA
salcal
Jan 20, 2019
I think we all love a compliment! If someone takes it the wrong way, well apologize, but a compliment is a compliment. I also am a people watcher of looks and attitudes, so often wonder what someone is thinking, too. Go with it, and follow you gut!
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KI
kiltfan
Jan 23, 2019
I have always said it is a shame that we are often 'quick it complain, but slow to praise' say for instance with service at a restaurant etc. The same is often with comments about people in the textile world. many of us will had heard other make derogatory comments such as 'her arse is to big for that skirt' or 'who does he think he's kidding in that'.
As naturists we love the human form in all is beauty whether it's a body like Adonis or one carrying more than a few extra pounds. Because we do appreciate the human form why should we not compliment it and accept those compliments in the manner they were intended. A straight man should not be afraid to say 'I think you have an amazing figure' to a woman. While he may find her physically attractive the compliment is not necessarily lecherous. Some may say making a comment about a particular part of someone's body is over the line. But as long as the right tone is used this should also be taken in the manner it's meant. As a gay man to me a male penis is a thing of beauty and I would hope a naturist man would except that if I paid him a compliment about his penis he would take it that I think he is a wonderful example of the male form and not that I want to have sex with him.
Some maty think I have a very simplistic view and that the world is not that cut and dried. But maybe that is the problem. We have forgotten to except the innocence in a remake and quickly perceive something that is not there
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ME
Member
Jan 23, 2019
This is not about being gay or straight, it is about being comfortable with one's self. Just because you are complimented does not mean the person is hitting on you. If it makes you uncomfortable, simply voice your discomfort and move on. If someone rejects your compliment, don't take it personal, accept it and move on.
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D&
D'Andre
Jan 23, 2019
I agree with this post. Seems like most people never heard the phrase, honesty without compassion is brutality.
You can tell people how you feel without being so brutal with your answer.
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Samwize the Bare
Mar 29, 2020
So if I can give my opinion on this. A complement is a lot of things. It really depends on What and How you say things. But in this environment (being naked), its a bit More touchy.
I have been very complementary to people, regardless of gender. But if I say woman, nice shirt. Its usually fine. They say thank you, and we both go on our way. But if I say, nice boobs. Thats pretty unacceptable even if shes wearing a Shirt... You think it would be different in a nudist society, and I think it is slightly. But more in person than online. Because you can see peoples intention. So yes, it is What you say. We can say that we are non-sexual, and accepting of everyone and appreciating each other in a natural way. There will still Always be that question, even if to protect yourself, which is a natural thing.
So if its still awkward for a person to look at or say something about a part of the body that Clothed society has deemed to be sexual. Then we just dont do it...
To clarify Ive recently joined the site. And I am not shy about my body, and as such I uploaded some pictures. Feeling comfortable in my skin and an accepting nudist society. So personally I wouldnt mind complements on my pictures in general. Nice shot or great lighting or thanks for sharing or even you look great.
And I have got those. Buuuut, I have also received many comments on a more personal level. From both men and women. And even the ones from women, were a little awkward. For me, not growing up as a nudist, when a woman says something about your physique, or butt or penis. Its always seen as sexual. So you can imagine how I feel when I hear that from guys...
So I say, if you think it might be awkward to say. Then dont.
Well thats my two and half cents.
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DA
Davenoob
Apr 2, 2020
This is an interesting thread. I started on the first page (as you do), and noticed the comments about clothing. I could see the linkage to compliments for a nice figure, that was perhaps easy or pleasant to fit clothing to. It also made me think of the very rare times when I've been complimented on a beach. In fact so rare, I can only remember one occasion. I'm fairly sure that the comment was made to suggest I participate in some activity with said gent, to which I politely declined.
Anyway, moving on,. If someone were to comment on my towel, or my bag, and then strike up a conversation that led to them saying that I look ok for my age, or that they like the way my body hair is shaved, that's great. But to start with an opening line that your butt looks tasty, is a little presumptuous.
In other words, at least ask my name before saying something either positive or negative about my body please.
After all that, I'd love to get to know other nudists/naturists to meet and socialise with. Not much beats a coffee and conversation, at least once the COVID is all sorted out...
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PH
Philip
Jul 13, 2020
If any one wants to compliment me, I promise not to be offended !
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