To compliment or not, gay vs straight.

Replies

• OL

  

  Olly

  Feb 23, 2017

  How odd, two entries about clothing on a nudist website! I never was any good at choosing clothes which makes my nudism the more delightful. A theatrical dresser will quite rightly notice the peculiarities in the people he is fitting. But is one any better than another? Another delight in nudism is that we come in all shapes and sizes - wonderful variety. I think what matters most is body confidence, being comfortable in our own skin. That throws out a body language which far outweighs any fitness, fatness or folds that might be in that person's body.

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• NU

  

  Nunovsky

  Feb 23, 2017

  I couldnt agree more, I mean, feeling good in our skins shouldnt have anything to do with the way we look, but mostly about the way we feel and connect with the world around us and the people who live in it. Thankfully enough, as awkward as this may sound, I realized during the last couple of years, that older men actually liked to be complimented about their appearance, both by straight and gay men alike and I also feel that if new generations had a similar approach, life in this troubled world of ours, could, somehow, become slightly easier.

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• PA

  

  PatriceOriginal Poster

  Feb 24, 2017

  Allow me to add a caveat here.
  I may have, with my preamble, confused the issue here for discussion. I only mention the clothing examples since, as work, this is what I have be trained to do, but that is only after I have observed the naked body of both men and women.
  I sometimes would like to compliment an other man for his physique, his tone, his body proportions etch..., but my hesitation is very much guided by my fear, the latter is for a lack of a better word, to be offensive to an other male of the species. It has been my experience in the past that many men would interpret such a compliment as a sexual advance as opposed to a simple compliment that it's often meant to be.
  Mind you, many times, even between gay men, a mere compliment is often seen as a sexual advance. Pity I say. One may be very handsome and alluring with certain endowment that would appear to be desirable, but if you're going to be an arrogant twit, one is not that pretty. Just saying.
  I hope this puts back the discussion on the right track.
  Cheers.

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• ST

  

  Steve

  Feb 24, 2017

  Certainly men your age and older are likely to be more pleased than upset, straight or gay. Every single person on this site who has posted a photo has meant it to be seen by other members; if your comments are specific to the photo, and non-sexual, it's hard to see how anyone would be offended.

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• PA

  

  panchogzlz

  Feb 24, 2017

  Interesting topic. It is very well addressed on a great nudist book I've just finished reading, "Naked at Lunch". Author Mark Haskell Smith interviews a colleage of yours and she expresses quite the same sentiment and feelings you kindly share with us. Even though she is not a nudist, she admires human bodies and forms, no matter whether clothed or not.

  Answering to your question, I appreciate compliments on TN unless in any way offensive - sexual, malicious, ironic or with double entendre.

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• AL

  

  Al

  Feb 24, 2017

  I sometimes avoid commenting on photos for the same reason as the OP. I think that some photos are designed just to feature the celebration of being naked (closeup of a couple, eg), some are in interesting situations or scenery (naked on a mountaintop), a portrait that most of us will never get to hang above the mantle, or sometimes just acknowledging "here I am, a naked person"). So when I do comment I am inclined to find something relevant to comment on rather than just the condition of a body. Based on that I will do more commenting because people have put themselves out there in a unique way and we should let each other know that we are enjoying them enjoying their nude selves. Cheers, thx for the interesting comments. You are right, we all love pisitive .acknowledgement

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• ME

  Member

  Feb 24, 2017

  As I see it we're all nudists, used to being in clothes-free situations where we see and are seen by others--all of us fully naked. Horticulturists enjoy compliments on their plants, artists enjoy showing their paintings and welcome compliments as well. By posting nude photos here we're
  likewise displaying something we're passionate about, so why attach unnecessary interpretations to another's compliment? It seems like to do so is living on the verge of paranoia about the fact that we're being seen naked. I think we all like to feel good about ourselves and nudism is a great way to promote self-esteem. Even a comment on my backside or bush is something I regard as being positive, so why go into a homophobic tailspin when uncalled for?

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• SJ

  

  Sjoerd

  Feb 24, 2017

  If you like to compliment, just go ahead. ;)
  People who are not open to that, shouldn't have pictures of themselves on here.

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• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. Tierney

  Feb 24, 2017

  [quote]If you like to compliment, just go ahead. ;) People who are not open to that, shouldn't have pictures of themselves on here.[/quote] I'm straight. I post pictures on this site. I welcome comments. If I didn't want people to see my naked body I wouldn't post pictures.

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• ME

  Member

  Feb 26, 2017

  I agree Oziboy, well put.

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• MI

  

  Mitch

  Mar 7, 2017

  If a person cannot take a compliment, then that is their problem.
  It seems people have a hard time talking any more. They prefer to text or tweet or what have you. So their social skills may be lacking refinement and if they respond overly negative towards an innocuous compliment; don't let it get to you.

  Stay Naked!

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• RO

  

  Rob

  Mar 13, 2017

  In North America complimenting is a lost art. People do no know how to compliment in a non sexual way. I compliment men on this site quite frequently, but because of the abundance of gay males on this site I preface with " I'm a straight male who is not afraid to complement other males" Because if I do not set the tone straight it will be perceived as a come on. I'm not here to hook up....I'm a Nudist. Just here to make like minded friends, gay and straight , men and women. For what it's worth.
  Rob

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• FL

  

  floridaslim

  Mar 17, 2017

  A compliment is a pleasant gesture to another person and in my mind something positive in nature and something to be taken a face value and nothing more, or less. Having said that, at my advanced age of 71, almost 72, I get my fair share of compliments and yes, I appreciate them. It has been my habit for a number of years to compliment other people who I believe take care of their bodies. A little bit of positive input to anyone is good for their self esteem. Might I add, that if you cannot compliment then just wish whoever a pleasant day.

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• NO

  

  noodengr2

  Mar 18, 2017

  Here is a bit of a twist on the subject. The first thing I notice about a person is their eyes. Over the years I have complimented women that I just met and in some cases just seen , like in a restaurant, And told them they have beautiful eyes. While traveling I just met a man while zip lining who I knew I would not see again. He had beautiful eyes but I hesitated to tell him that and didn't. Now I kick myself it should not matter what sex a person is, go ahead and tell them. Think about it, wouldn't tou enjoy hearing it come out of the blue?

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklow

  Mar 18, 2017

  [quote]I'm certainly not going to turn down a compliment no matter who is sending it my way. That's human nature.[/quote]I like your hat.

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• AT

  

  atldavis

  Mar 19, 2017

  I understand the OP's dilemma: He wants to give a compliment without seeming creepy. It seems like we agree that a sincere compliment is welcome and appreciated. The problem is that we don't want our compliments to be misinterpreted as a sexual advance or a come on, if they are not.

  Speaking for myself, I always like compliments. I occasionally get one here on TN or elsewhere that I think might cross the line into inappropriateness. I generally accept even the potentially rude compliment with grace. If the person makes no more comments that are inappropriate, I realize that it was my mistake. Generally the insincere ones "out" themselves pretty quickly, and get dropped.

  Nothing wrong at all with a sincere compliment, in my book.

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• NO

  

  noclothesisgood

  Jun 8, 2017

  [quote]Good afternoon men, Just a general question of interest, at least to me, that I would like throw out there and see what comments come back. I have spent a better part of 30 years working in theatrical costuming industry and general sewing. A large part of my work is spent on observing the body in all it's form and directly moving the body as I do fittings and such. As a result I have been a keen observer of all body shapes and sizes, indiscriminately of it's gender. Since I have found this site, I have spent my spare time looking at photos and observing the differences from people to people. I pass no judgement but I look at them with, very often, the question of how would I fit this person or body. What would I do with such a long torso and short legs, or what would I do to adjust the length of the sleeve for what appears to be very long arms and such. I also observe that people have bodies that would fit better in certain historical context rather than others. Ok, Ok, Ok, now I know that this was a long preamble, but here is my question. Being an observe as mentioned, I sometime like to sent a compliment to people when I find their physiques interesting. I make no mention of anything sexual, but just a general, you are well put together and aren't you lucky, kind of sentiment to both men and woman. But here is the but, I'm never very sure on how straight men would react to this. Being gay I'm always a little hesitant to send a compliment since it has been my experience in the past ( no reflection on the men of this site so far, since I've really only been active in the last month or so, despite being on the site for a few years), that some men think that I just want to get to have sex with them. Now, that may have to do with being on some other site not necessarily devoted uniquely to nudism. I have complimented a few men in the past since observing that many men of a certain age are certainly a far cry from being decrepit as the youth movement would have us believe and do inspire still that one can better their physical condition despite their advanced years. Thoughts ? Comments ? Perspectives ? Best regards.[/quote] I have been complemented by a few guys and one female regarding my butt on my profile picture and let me say this, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. A compliment is something that should make you happy so return the favor with a smile and a grateful thank you. It shouldn't matter who's giving it.

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• SA

  

  Stone Andy

  Jul 17, 2017

  As a single dad, compliments are a rare strong tool at my disposal in raising sons. Heres what I think makes a useful, take-to-heart compliment: 1) it should be specific 2) it should be demonstrated by actions, choices and lifestyle decisions and 3) it should include a personal impact. That may sound more like a thesis than a compliment, but if you give even a short compliment from that place, it will be more meaningful to the receiver. Nice abs. Now its time for me to hit the gym, too.

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• RR

  

  Robert Rolwing

  Jul 17, 2017

  great advice StoneAndy about compliments / you are very wise/ thank you for sharing / namaste / hugs

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• PA

  

  PatriceOriginal Poster

  Jul 22, 2017

  It has been a while since I have posted my question and haven't had the chance to check in on it as I would like to but I'm glad that the question is still garnishing some interest, anybody with an opinion or remark is welcome to do so.
  Many thanks.

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• MU

  

  mudist

  Jul 23, 2017

  Compliments are usually a good thing. But there is a fine line between compliments and advances and I might have a different opinion where this line lines than you have. It can change with your age, your mood, the image of yourself, etc. Take compliments as they are - they are not a promise of marriage ;-)

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• ME

  Member

  Jul 24, 2017

  Compliments are great, but don't be crude or make the compliment into a chat up line or flat out sexual come on. I guess exactly the same thing that women don't like about straight guys haha

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• GJ

  

  Greg Jackson

  Sep 19, 2017

  As a youth, I just kept my thoughts. But, at 60, it's a different story. I'll offer a compliment where it's due no matter what. I'm a member of Deviant Art, TN, and 2 other sites. When I see a gorgeous physique or body part, sure. With guys, I find it's not what you say, but how you say it, that makes it work. Even if a guy designates as straight, I'll still compliment. Then, to have them reply in a thankful way is reassuring. Out of all the guys, only 2 responded in a negative way.

  The above is true for online sites. But, face to face without knowing the guy? I'd limit my compliment to clothes or accessories.

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• J

  

  J

  Oct 21, 2017

  Great way to look at it.

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