i need help! i want to be able to walk around the apartment nude but i live with three other people in a two bedroom apartment. so my qustion/ topic for discussion is how to get your roomates to except you as a nudist and be ok with male nudity in the house. and possibly/ maybe converting them to nudism. Thanks for the help hope to hear from you.
Replies
- CH
ChronomistNov 29, 2010I live with roomates too. I't was easy for me though, they caught me catching some sun in the back yard one day. I don't think there was any hope of converting them. So I respect that they expect to see me clothed and they on the other hand seem to except the fact that I might not always be dressed. Its just a matter of respect and tolerence. Are your friends the tolerent type? If yes then you might have a chance.
ReactReply - BO
BowsterDec 3, 2010I think the direct approach might be the way - tell them you like to be naked at home & ask them what their comfort level with this is & negotiate from there - best of luck anyway :)
ReactReply - BI
billezDec 3, 2010I assume it's an all male apartment so you might as well just tell them. Might be awkward if they have girlfriends etc. but it may also depend on their views on other subjects (very religious for example). I have a lodger and haven't told him, he saw me in the kitchen once (I thought he was at work) and he just giggled. There is the obvious sexual element to it, some men may be uncomfortable with lots of other naked men around the place if there is any hint that one of you is gay and the others are straight. As you have only 2 rooms with 4 people I assume at least one of them sees you naked on a regular basis!!
ReactReply - OROregongirlDec 3, 2010
"Hey I'm a nudist" seems like the easiest way to go.
Although you want to walk around nude unfortunately you are in a shared situation and you each have to make compromises for the other people's comfort in the house. Don't be surprised if they are adamantly against seeing you in the buff daily. I would keep the nudity to your own bedroom or when the house is empty.
Living with roommates is a touchy situation that can soon become volatile if one feels their personal comfort levels have been breeched. If you are no longer comfortable in your living situation then you should put out an ad for seeking a nudist house share. :) It's definitely possible and you'll be a whole lot happier.
ReactReply - TITimOriginal PosterDec 4, 2010
thanks everyone for replying, yes all the roomates are males and all in their 20's. i do sleep naked everynight but i have to take my clothes off under the covers. the roomate who sleeps in my roomate with me goes to day calss and i attend night class. and one morning in this past summer i was sleeping nude and the covers slid off and onto the floor. when he woke up in the morning and saw me fully exposed he woke me up immediately and told me to cover myself. i just laughed, told him it was hot and covered up. but it gave me a bad vibe about him. so when hes not here i'm nude all the time in my room. but living with three other people and all on diffrent scedules so anyone can come home at any time. thanks again for all your posts and please kep them coming
ReactReply - MEMemberJan 30, 2011Nice thread! You have a happy disposition and my sense is keep that by finding people who are sympatico, not trying to convert folks who may not be. Also as you say you are bi, that may get in the way of nudity with other fit young men who arent! I reckon one doesnt need to say these things - they just communicate. So basically find some new flat mates! but enjoy the ones you have for now! Ignore if this doesnt feel good to you!
ReactReply - KR
kramtrohsJan 30, 2011Just be open, honest & be prepared to answer any questions he may have!!
ReactReply - SP
spideymann66Jan 30, 2011Like it's been said, tolerance is a big thing, at least it is in my opinion. My last room mate, even though she wasn't a nudist, didn't mind at all if I was nude...matter of fact, she encourage it occasionally! My roomie I have now, knows I'm a nudist, but doesn't want to participate, nor does she want to see me wander the house nude. I respect her and her opinions and there is no way I would force my nudism on her. Soooooo, find out your room mates tolerances and what their comfortable with and respect it! (of course let them know, they may end up seeing you nude on accident and what not!)
ReactReply - SO
SomerserttomJan 30, 2011It looks to me that moving and seeking to share with other more relaxed people, and they could be either gender if true nudists, would be the best thing for you to do. In the meantime you could consider at least swapping room with one of the more easy going guys. The one you have clearly has issues and is being over puritan. You have as much right to use that room as you wish as he does. I think having to get undressed under the covers and the way he reacted is tantamount to bullying by him. I am assuming you pay as much for the room as he does so you are entitled to use as you wish and he should cut some slack. You surly don't get under the bed clothes to get dressed when he's around do you?! If he doesn't like seeing you nude he can always change room, sleep on the sofa or wait outside/look the other way when you are nude.
I wish you the best of luck though in finding more compatible roomies.
TomReactReply - SPspideymann66Jan 30, 2011[quote][quote]Like it's been said, tolerance is a big thing, at least it is in my opinion. My last room mate, even though she wasn't a nudist, didn't mind at all if I was nude...matter of fact, she encourage it occasionally! My roomie I have now, knows I'm a nudist, but doesn't want to participate, nor does she want to see me wander the house nude. I respect her and her opinions and there is no way I would force my nudism on her. Soooooo, find out your room mates tolerances and what their comfortable with and respect it! (of course let them know, they may end up seeing you nude on accident and what not!)[/quote] I really question the premise here. Why is it that you are "forcing" nudism on her? Isn't she "forcing" clothing on you? Clothing is the acceptable form of the "privileged", nudity is the "abnormal" form. Not to draw too many parallels, it's the same as being gay in a world of straight privilege. You are not forcing nudity on your room mate, you are living your life in your home. It's bad enough we have laws against simple nudity in all public areas, but you do not want to "force" nudity on your room mate? I would ask her to go nude and not force clothing on you.[/quote] I guess that's another way to look at it! Thank you for responding! This is such a fun and interesting place!ReactReply
- CA
CanoodlerFeb 4, 2011I'm a happy nudist who has no problem with being at a nudist club or resort but I'm used to home being clothed as are 99 percent of people so it's really very silly to suggest that being nude with your roommates is your right. It would be great but like has been said, getting along is number 1. You don't want your roommates to stop wearing deodorant or to practise sitar at 3 in the am or grow mushrooms in the bathtub. We ask, we see if they are cool with it and if so, great, if not then we make do. Compromise is for people. Having your own way is for hermits.
ReactReply - KE
kenoHickFeb 12, 2011When nobody is there be nude. But always be nude in your bedroom if you want. Or tell the complainers you pay rent so drop dead.
ReactReply - CH
chevycuplFeb 12, 2011start out with out wearing as much around the house take it real slow see how they react to that ask what there views are on being naked just feel them out
ReactReply - NI
nirvana1370Feb 28, 2011I have the same problem with my homemate , but my problem is bigger . I'm 19 years old and Im studing in malaysia . I live far from my country . Anyway I have a apartment and sharing it with my homemate . About two or tree weeks ago I dcided to be a nudist and I got so many information about this lifestyle. I can only be nude in my room . My homemate is very closedmind .He doesn't know what it nudist and naturist and I don't know how can I explain to him about it . He think that if I get naked and let him too see me I'm brutish . not only me he think all the nodists are brutish . he says wisdom make human too choose dress and this is difference between human and animals.
"I dress because I respect you" he says . So he think that having cloth is a way to respect each other . A funny thing about him is , he never take off his T-shirt even he sleep with T-shirt .
so I'm very glad to have your suggestion .ReactReply - NInirvana1370Mar 2, 2011thanksAthensSunfor your advise .Yes you're right .I like my homemate and I don't want to make any problem . yes It was me who decide to change my lifestyle and myself and I'm agree with mutual respect .ReactReply
- LI
LifeHappensMar 10, 2011When it comes to roommates, you can never just take an "in your face attitude." Unless you were up front about how you wish to live your life before moving in, you MUST be quite a bit more diplomatic with them. It is even more difficult when you are sharing a room. I think that the following steps should be taken:
1. As a male, it is acceptable to see most parts of your body. With the exception of your waist area, showing any other portion of your body should not be too out of line (in the USA). I would suggest getting to the point where you are only wearing a pair of shorts and nothing else. You will be more comfortable and your roomies will get used to seeing most of you exposed.
2. Leave sex out of the equation. Never talk about nudity and sex in the same sentence. Stop talking about how "hot" someones body may be. You need to stop objectifying the body before you can expect your roommates to do the same. If the subject does come up, it should be matter-of-fact and illicit -- at most -- a tepid and disinterested response from you.
3. Leave sexuality out of the equation. They are your roommates, not your boyfriends. They will be at most your friends. They really don't need to know about your attractions. If it does come up, it should be matter of fact and you should appear bored with the subject.
4. All speak about nudity in a tone and manner that makes it sound commonplace when it comes out of your mouth. Don't try to just put the subject in every place where it doesn't belong; it will appear as a contrivance, and rightfully so.
5. When going to bed, don't take off your clothes under the sheets. As you are only wearing shorts by this point, just sit down and take off your shorts with little to no fan-fare and get under the covers.
6. Talk to your roommates about your dislike of clothes and why. Don't focus on the positive aspects of nudity, focus on the negative aspects of clothing. As your roommates are not nudists, they cannot relate to being nude around others. They can, on the other hand, relate to wearing clothes. If you point out enough discomforts with clothing, they will come to understand your decisions and feelings in a more empathetic setting.
7. Try to go fishing with your roommates -- for information. Ask questions to find out what they think and why.
8. DO NOT try to convert your roomies.
9. Make it well known, when the time comes, that you don't care if they wear clothing and that this is only about you being more comfortable.
Hope this helps. I usually use these steps when around people that don't know ahead of time. The thing that seems to put most of them at ease is when I state my dislike of and discomfort with clothing. After that, it is just a matter of removing the shorts.ReactReply - LILifeHappensMar 10, 2011
And make certain you have impeccable hygiene with your body. IMPECCABLE! Make certain you are clean after EVERY restroom visit! And make your proclivity for cleanliness known.
ReactReply - KEkenoHickApr 7, 2011
Just be nude and roll your eyes a lot if they complain but stay nude. Call them Barney Fife or Churchlady or Jesus or Hitler or Dick Cheney or go dude, I know you want it bad and you go to gay bars so I thought I'd save you the trip. Then run fast.
ReactReply - MEMemberSep 4, 2011
I've had a similar situation moving recently, and to my supprise two housemates are on board with being naked when one feels like (and one sometimes will be) though the other has been a bit more apprehensive. I would just be completely honest and try to make seem like its not a big deal and that you would simply be more comfortable with out clothes, they may have some apprehension because they are reading something sexual into the situation that is not there. So far I have gotten to the point where they are fine with me not wearing a towel in after a shower and not usually being dressed when I have coffee in the morning, so its going in the right direction. I would not however try and "convert" anybody you could casually suggest they might be more comfortable on a hot with out clothes and certainly if they were to bring up the idea be supportive.
ReactReply - RE
reeflizzardSep 24, 2011Haven't read all the posts here, so I might be repeating what someone else said. I have a friend who is also going through this issue of roommates and nudity. My suggestion, and I'll stick to it, is to de-sexualize and reduce the weird factor by simply approaching it head-on and saying something like, "When I'm alone I've gotten used to running around without my boxer shorts. I sure hope that it wouldn't freak you out if I did that. It's not like a sexual thing, dude, it's just free and easy. OK?" And see what sort of reaction you get. I suspect if you deal with it directly and not try to make too big a deal out of it, or give yourself a "weirdo" label like saying, "Oh by the way I'm a nudist"....it will go much better. Just my thoughts.
Good luck and remember to be yourself. If the freedom that is nudism is important to you, you must protect that even if it means making life choices and changes that are difficult or challenging.
Peace, Reef
ReactReply - MA
mallardm45Sep 26, 2011bump
ReactReply - MAmallardm45Sep 27, 2011
bump
ReactReply - RUrushrushSep 27, 2011
first of all , i would start walking around the flat in just boxers or shorts , im sure you seen then do the same .
when taking a shower leave the door unlock and when walking back to your room , do it nude with the towel over your shoiuld and some times around your waist ..
when in the shower call out to one of then to bring in the towel you forgot to take in with you .
when going to put washing on . do it in t shirt and underwear , and take then off and put in the machince , then go straight back to your room.
if you share a room when undressing standing talking with just a t shirt or underwear on and on diffent day , do it nude ,
when in bed nude , get up walk to the toilet and back
there pleanty of things you can do slowly around the houde semi nud eor nude , with out asking your freinds
have you ever been swimming / gym togeather and share locker room / showers ???
would try the above and see what happens with out talking to them .if there find it upsetting there will soon tell you .
good luckReactReply - MEMemberSep 27, 2011
My 2 cents. I have a home in Northern California just outside San Francisco. I have an all-male nudist household. 1 straight, 1 bi and 1 gay man. We get along great and no problems. We all walk around naked, do laundry naked, cook naked, watch tv and surf the Internet NAKED!
The topic of you being a nudist could pose a problem. You present roommate as you stated already saw you naked when your sheets fell off. He is not someone who will like the idea. If he did he would not have woken you up to tell you to put clothes on. You might try the other two guys. I suggest you take them individually to a nudist beach to see there reaction. Bring each of them on a popular day, where both men and women run around naked on the beach.
They might be uncomfortable at first, but with time being there they might enjoy the surrounding of other naked people. After a few hours ask him if he wants to join everyone with a nude swim or a walk on the beach. Maybe suggest a game of tossing a fresbie back and forth. If he is not comfortable removing his trunks, ask him if he mines that you can become naked in front of him. Suggest to him about walking the beach with you to talk. He might have questions like how are you comfortable being naked while he feels he needs to cover up. It could be his up bringing. You need to get him to talk. If he has questions, he might be ok withyou walking around naked.
If all of them do not like the idea, I suggest you post an ad on Craigslist for nudist roommates and get an apartment together with other like-minded individuals. Of course check them out to see if they would be a good fit.
You do not want to create problems for you while in school. You never know what the others will tell other people what it is like to live with you.
Just my 2 cents. I have had this problem myself while in college. Now that I own my own home, I start off by advertiseing an all-male nudist household and I seek out guys that like to be naked in a female free home. Less stress and awkwardness.
Hope this helps. Feel free to contact me if you wish to talk more. I do have a few other ideas that have worked for me in the past.ReactReply